tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post3603488468871609157..comments2024-03-18T01:29:51.116+05:30Comments on My Tumbling Thoughts to the World: The Shackles of the 'Modern' Woman!Suruchihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08352785820589232058noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-49777417907406102322010-04-23T14:03:05.404+05:302010-04-23T14:03:05.404+05:30Thanks Piyu...
I guess you are right...
A few of u...Thanks Piyu...<br />I guess you are right...<br />A few of us who do show that we care n respect ourselves are brandished for being in self-love...<br /><br />It's a difficult way out which-so-ever way you see it...<br />It is such a blessing when some kind of balance is achieved...<br />If not, it's a tough fight for survival:-)<br /><br />We need to be manipulative yet sympathetic....aggressive yet gentle...strong yet willing to give in...<br />I so hope we get the courage to carry all these out:-)Suruchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08352785820589232058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-72519980467007857212010-04-23T13:10:10.853+05:302010-04-23T13:10:10.853+05:30A lot of women are bought up with the mentality th...A lot of women are bought up with the mentality that men are the boss of the house. Very rarely are they taught about equality and respecting themselves as much as they should respect the in-laws. <br /><br />It is difficult to fight these values, even with education. I think it is a root cause of many such problems.<br /><br />Really liked your post :)piyuhttp://arbitthoughts.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-6794645793785156472010-04-22T21:06:22.561+05:302010-04-22T21:06:22.561+05:30Hi Indianhomemaker...
*I love your name:-)*
That&...Hi Indianhomemaker...<br />*I love your name:-)*<br /><br />That's such a valid point to raise that we should marry someone for how they are and not how they could be...coz then the vicious circle of expectations n disappointments begins...<br />How often we have heard people saying...arre shaadi ke baad sab theher jaayega...mould ho jaayege...<br />This if happens is good, but if not...so disastrous!<br /><br />Living with families however should not be ruled out...then it becomes too much of a selfish take on everything in life...<br />Of course when conditions are absolutely unbearable, then it is a different case...<br />Otherwise we need to strive to achieve harmony even in a big number of people to please!<br /><br />Wouldn't that be too easy a way out to pack your bags to live in one's OWN home?<br /><br />Thank you for adding more dimensions here:-)Suruchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08352785820589232058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-60274102242454723302010-04-22T13:53:25.621+05:302010-04-22T13:53:25.621+05:30Very nice post.
I agree with you, and loved the ...Very nice post. <br /><br />I agree with you, and loved the last lines by motivational speaker Deepak Chopra!!<br /><br />I have seen women like the one in the first example, this is very common in cases of physical, verbal or emotional abuse. I think all women (and men also) should have some non negotiable rules, and number one should be that the person they marry, must marry them for the way they are, not because they might be improved upon and made perfect. <br /><br />I also wonder if women are better off living in independent homes with their spouses, than while living with his family. Problems seem to get worse when family of either of the spouses lives with them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-45587837492865767542010-04-22T12:03:41.776+05:302010-04-22T12:03:41.776+05:30Hi Sumit...
Awareness is the key and self esteem b...Hi Sumit...<br />Awareness is the key and self esteem building is the solution!<br /><br />Men don't really mean to be mean...it's just that sometimes they don't exert influence enough..<br /><br />Thanks for dropping by...hope to see you around:-)Suruchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08352785820589232058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-64928221696080131102010-04-22T10:29:38.130+05:302010-04-22T10:29:38.130+05:30Hard-hitting stories these are, Suruchi. I serious...Hard-hitting stories these are, Suruchi. I seriously wish women would stand up for their rights and refuse to be treated like this.<br /><br />I wish men would prevent things like this from happening, instead of watching from the sidelines, or even participating in such despicable activities.<br /><br />I'm a new visitor to your blog, but will keep coming back to read more.Sumithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12377894059927473877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-38905485496454182872010-04-21T13:09:27.694+05:302010-04-21T13:09:27.694+05:30Hi Rishi...
Thank you...
Feels great to have been ...Hi Rishi...<br />Thank you...<br />Feels great to have been selected by the blogadda team...<br /><br />N no gustaakhi yaar...<br />I got my first award from you and that appreciation shall always remain n be valued...<br />Thanksssssssss:-)Suruchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08352785820589232058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-85307037424070079452010-04-21T13:07:49.539+05:302010-04-21T13:07:49.539+05:30Hi Sobhit...
Yup...serious issues sometimes so tha...Hi Sobhit...<br />Yup...serious issues sometimes so that they are taken a little more seriously...<br />You are so correct when you say that we can talk about it but those on the receiving end have to suffer...<br />But by talking, discussing...maybe we end up finding a solution for someone...maybe something said strikes a chord somewhere n inspires a woman to change how she is treated or how she behaves with others...or a man in his outlook...<br /><br />I am not saying I can bring such a drastic change....<br />But I can share...and I care...hopefully things might change someday...<br />Thanks for reading this n your wishes:-)Suruchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08352785820589232058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-49655556630173051052010-04-20T21:49:42.024+05:302010-04-20T21:49:42.024+05:30congrats... read this long time back... forgot to ...congrats... read this long time back... forgot to comment.. gusthaki maaf :)el_idiotohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07951829175676646417noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-65892890683646728322010-04-18T14:16:37.247+05:302010-04-18T14:16:37.247+05:30Shayon...
I told ya that I didn’t know much of wha...Shayon...<br />I told ya that I didn’t know much of what I was saying that day...not ALL men have ego hassles...but generally mostly men are wary of opening up...I truly have no bias against the men...okay...watch this space to know about manly woes too that I have witnessed...<br /><br />The issue here was not men or women...it was the shackles or obstructions that hinder self development n peace of mind...<br />In case of women it becomes more predominantly visible than men for they are good at hiding emotions and women are like to yak about their nitty gritties!<br /><br />While men are problem solvers....women end up being lingering about it...<br /><br />Whoever man or woman, is in an alien environment...needs a wee bit more empathy...while it is a change for the outsider to settle into a new frame of things, it is equally difficult for those within to accept a new element to the fabric...<br /><br />So it would be foolish to expect one side to make all adjustments n attuning...it is a dual process, come what may...<br /><br />Anyways...yup...10 years it is and the anniversary bash was rocking...check the Face book pics:-)Suruchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08352785820589232058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-17989775758535153792010-04-18T13:57:21.852+05:302010-04-18T13:57:21.852+05:30so d funny lady can talk serious issues too... gud...so d funny lady can talk serious issues too... gud 2 knw dat.. but more or less such issues n evn worse prevail in d society... is sad n horrible , dnt really hv much 2 say here.. cos more or less evry1 voices d same opinion , but only d 1s wid whome its hapnin r d 1s who r at d reciving end.. ppl talk discuss n move on.. evn if sm try 2 help d 1s in trbls , dey cant do so if dos in trbl r not willing 2.. hope things work out 4 des 3 n many odrs suffering d same plight or evn worse.. AMENsobhithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03802261027381408336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-186773598559002942010-04-18T13:42:33.020+05:302010-04-18T13:42:33.020+05:30Hellooooooooo Bf...
*I still don’t know your name ...Hellooooooooo Bf...<br />*I still don’t know your name n screw Shakespeare for saying ‘naam mein kya rakha hain!*<br /><br />Your suggestions sound good...specially the dish breaking one...it made sense immediately! <br /><br />But with Meghna...she was emotional earlier but once bitten n twice shy...now she’s not but they are used to of falling back on her...so now saying no makes her the changed evil bahu showing her true colours...so it’s a whole lot of juggling between forces<br /><br />And with Sugandha it is not the matter of who has the problem and hence to be blamed...it’s the circus to end the problem that creates problems for her stability that she craves for...a kind of settling in of life whereby for a change you know this is how my life would be! Constant changes in opinions n plans of action everyday screws her happiness n peace!<br /><br />N Bf...yup...I don’t mind listening to people n helping solve issues...it’s not that I am doing a noble deed n hence the motivation!<br />Since u asked me truly...I am truly admitting that the reasons are selfish! It makes me feel good about myself that “I” did something worthwhile or brought a change! In the end, we all actually try to please ourselves....do actions that add to our opinion of our own selves!<br /><br />It is maturely fun though;-)Suruchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08352785820589232058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-66473984423127132632010-04-18T13:38:56.587+05:302010-04-18T13:38:56.587+05:30Hi Prithwish,
Thanks for finding the essence of th...Hi Prithwish,<br />Thanks for finding the essence of the post...<br />Living with dignity is what we all strive for!<br /><br />I accept your compliment with all humility:-)<br />Cheers to u too dear friend:-)Suruchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08352785820589232058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-36890843880479429372010-04-17T11:05:03.203+05:302010-04-17T11:05:03.203+05:30Nice! If men do not discuss their problems, that&#...Nice! If men do not discuss their problems, that's because they have a ego problem. And if women do not discuss their problems, it's because they are resilient and that they are sacrificing themselves for the sake of their family. And you say you have no bias against the men. Or is it the latest fad these days, that I might have missed?<br /><br />Speaking of women "leaving her home" and moving to the husband's house, tell me, what if the husband decides to leave his home and move to the girl's house, with her parents? How many of your readers, or even your own family, would be able to live with it? Will the society ever allow the man to live in peace?<br /><br />Another aspect I'd like to ask of. When you visit a friend of yours, is it normally you who attunes to your friend and his family member's daily regime, or is it them who attune themselves to yours?<br /><br />By the way, how did your anniversary bash go? 10 years, right? Congratulations again.Shayonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09794928062426104784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-55820994380642244242010-04-17T01:31:08.436+05:302010-04-17T01:31:08.436+05:30Astha: Slap ur kid in front of ur husband and brea...Astha: Slap ur kid in front of ur husband and break 2-3 dishes!! kid will be scared enuf to get in tune...and trust me men are scared of dish breaking syndrome!!<br /><br />Meghna:ohh u dont hav ny real problem!!! if ur emosanal enuf to spend it on ur in-laws...dunt cry abt it!!<br /><br />Sugandha:pay a doctor to do a fake test on ur husband and inform that the problem is wid him!! and then wait and watch the fun!!<br /><br />suruchi:keep it up being an agony aunt!! they may soon consider u for nobel!! if obama...why not u!! and tell me truly, dunt u luv being agony aunt!! its kinda maturely fun isnt it!!buckingfastardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05288515789173570238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-91660493163171832392010-04-16T22:27:40.128+05:302010-04-16T22:27:40.128+05:30simply outstanding and touching post Suruchi..
You...simply outstanding and touching post Suruchi..<br />You know what, when the entire world was going ga ga over the passing of womens reservation bill, i had my own reservations, on the fact tht women need emotional support more than a bill..its important to change the general outlook towards women ..<br />lets not forget that every individual whether its women or men, loves to live with dignity and pride..so lets do that ..lets focus more on emotional enrichment to women ..<br />suruchi..you maintain your reputation..of being a terrific writer..and yeah, its a genuine compliment from a friend of yours..<br />cheers my dear!Prithwish.......https://www.blogger.com/profile/00196102004422693112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-11039403860122447892010-04-16T18:09:04.398+05:302010-04-16T18:09:04.398+05:30@Neeraj...
So true...
Wish we could do more than j...@Neeraj...<br />So true...<br />Wish we could do more than just talk!<br />:-)Suruchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08352785820589232058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-82427909731055338532010-04-16T18:06:29.152+05:302010-04-16T18:06:29.152+05:30Hi Shayon...
Wow I was looking forward to the men’...Hi Shayon...<br />Wow I was looking forward to the men’s woes...<br />Of course men too suffer...and please it’s not that we don’t hear about it or that they are better attuned to take the hurt...it’s just that men’s ego does not allow them to discuss their problems!<br />They live in the belief that they’d sort it all out by themselves whereby women also get convinced of this notion and feel that the men should solve their problems too since they are so bloody capable of handling their own!<br /><br />I have not blamed the men in any of the cases...they perhaps are just as stuck up as the women are...however being considered as the emotionally stronger sex, I call them to please support the woman who has left her home and come to yours! It becomes your duty to protect her rights and safeguard her happiness!<br /><br />Where they should have said “no” is a point at which they feel that things are going beyond the reasonable measures of acceptance!<br />Astha should have said “no” the very third or fourth time she was repeatedly checked for the same kinda faults...although at that point she should have also learnt to change herself so that such a need does not arise again n again<br /><br />Meghna should have said “no” the moment it was expected that she should fend for the family’s ration or pay for the delivery of her kids!<br />Sugandha should have said “no” at the very onset of the circle of menace, when she was given advice that she did not want or appreciate!<br /> <br />Now coming to the A,B,C...I mean the triangles u mentioned...<br /> A should definitely stand up and say a “no” to B...for if she’s chosen a life partner after appropriate amount of sensible thinking...others should respect her decision...and at the end of the day B is just a friend...she needs to set her priority right!<br />And B must realize that A n C are in love and must back off...at the end of the day a marriage is more important than the best of friendships if one has to choose!<br /><br />Your second example is simply juvenile behaviour from the girl’s side...It’s a case of expecting too much without willing to relent...<br />She has to speak to her parents first and then expect the boy to go rounding off all on her ‘demands’...She is just looking at the parents’ side of hurt and not realizing that she is putting the guy through immense pressure also!<br /><br />C has to get his girlfriend to understand his part of dignity also in the whole scenario...he must explain that he ought to be treated with a little more trust that he would do the needful, if the opportunity requires and that he also needs some assurances from her parents side before making a world of changes!<br />She loved him for how he is...and should present him before her parents in exactly the same avtaar!<br /><br />Why paint happy pictures and run away from reality!<br />She needs to be talked to and explained...<br />I hope u would do that n put the poor guy’s suffering at rest!<br />All the very best:-) <br /> <br />P.S. I am in a bit of a hurry for my anniversary bash tonight...I hope I made sense there:-)Suruchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08352785820589232058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-30215630034249746232010-04-16T16:47:51.303+05:302010-04-16T16:47:51.303+05:30As i said in one of the blog...this is harsh reali...As i said in one of the blog...this is harsh reality which exist in todays world..just increase in earning and GDP does not solve the problem of backwardness but not changing this kind of attitude makes India a backward place which cannot come ahead in near future,if this things remains the same.Mr. "Niraj" Lemonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05894815351420279975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-84799278936836769442010-04-16T12:30:23.971+05:302010-04-16T12:30:23.971+05:30"Put your foot down and learn to say No"..."Put your foot down and learn to say No" - it seems to have become a mantra of sorts, these days. And it seems I am the only one around without a 'story', that I am the only one with no wretched friends, with wretched careers, husbands, or even mothers-in-law. *Sigh*<br /><br />Getting back to the context, I am really saddened by the way the lives of the three women turned out. However, I shall need your help to tell me that exactly where should they have said 'no', before making sense out of your summary suggestion that it's time to stand up and say 'no'.<br /><br />Secondly, not just marriage, but any goddamn relationship in this world needs to be nurtured and worked on, by both the parties concerned. It can never work one ways. But then again, there's something I'd like to share.<br /><br />I know someone who had been very frightened about her own best friend because the 'best friend' wholly and with all his heart, hates her boyfriend. For the sake of simplicity, let's call my friend 'A', her best friend 'B' and the boyfriend 'C'. Now, while A loves C with all her heart, and even dreams of being with C all her life, she never had the courage to go up to B and tell him that she did love C and that it's important for her that B respected her decision, and not perennially keep sulking about it. Now, B is so influential in A's life that he even tells A that if she stays with C, B will never speak with A again. And with this fear, A could never tell B again that A and C were still together, just for the fear that B will get angry and hurt.<br /><br />Tell me, should A stand up and say 'No' to B, to stop controlling her life, and that whatever decision A takes, it's important that B respects it, and bows down to it?<br /><br /><br />Another example, but let us keep the name nomenclatures. A loves C a lot, and have been in a relationship for a real long time. Now, every body grows old, and A and C also reach the 'Indian marriageable age', gradually. Now that it's time for A to speak with her parents, she starts getting cold feet. She decides to make a list of things that she thinks her parents would look out for, in her prospective groom, and asks A to achieve all of them, before she even decides to go ahead and speak with her parents. Since most of them involved a huge amount of financial 'security', C asked A to at least go up to her parents and tell them about her relationship, and promised that whatever A's parents ask for, he shall get/attain them, before they get married.<br /><br />But alas! A said she could not speak with her parents because she didn't want to hurt them. She knew it for sure that her parents would say yes to the relationship, but they won't be happy in their heart. And that it's very important that C attained all that A thought their parents would want, before A and C even let her parents know about their intention of getting married.<br /><br />Now, tell me this... what would you expect C to do, how would you expect him to react, in such scenario? Should he succumb to it, or should he too put his foot down say 'no', the way you have been asking all the girls to behave?<br /><br />Men have their own demons too, sweetheart. You do not get to hear about it much, because they are better attuned to take the hurt, the pain, than women are. And the ones who do not manage to, end up as husbands of these poor women you wrote about, than wailing and crying about their lives' sorrows.<br /><br />Think about it :-)Shayonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09794928062426104784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-47321341905957485502010-04-16T11:19:50.508+05:302010-04-16T11:19:50.508+05:30Hi Sakhi...
The role of the husband is not minimal...Hi Sakhi...<br />The role of the husband is not minimal yaar...<br />If he takes a step forward and puts an end to a lot of crap, after thinking n being in his wife’s shoes...perhaps that would give her the strength to raise her voice too for her betterment!<br /> <br />I totally agree on the need for the husbands to support!<br />The situation n circumstances may not be under his control...but how things are to be handled and how they as a couple should react to it, is definitely his choice:-)<br /><br />He is not be blamed if there are troubles...but he is to be, if he tells his wife that these are part of a marriage that she would just have to bear...compromises are essential in a smooth marriage...but never at the price of one’s dignity!<br /><br />A husband’s role cannot be denied for sure...<br />Thanks for sharing...:-)Suruchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08352785820589232058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-80849124722492151262010-04-16T11:19:18.374+05:302010-04-16T11:19:18.374+05:30Hello Jack...
Girls at that age or whatever age ar...Hello Jack...<br />Girls at that age or whatever age are very vulnerable...<br />And their husbands are not really to be blamed actually!<br /><br />Like Astha’s husband adores her...but he does get embarrassed at times when she behaves childishly or is unable to do pretty much anything by herself!<br />His irritation is not justified but then so is not blaming him for having been unreasonable with her!<br />Maybe the method is at fault!<br />Maybe there are deeper identity issues...<br />But who and how can they be resolved with no elder in the house to guide and any criticism or pointing out...even though constructive is misconstrued by her...putting her deeper into the shell...it’s really a very delicate situation!<br /><br />Regarding Meghna...we can never be sure if he married her for her money!<br />He is self sufficient by himself...and helpless as he is torn between the only two women in his family...a widowed mother and his wife...<br />So frustrations burst out on her as they can’t on the mother...<br />Besides if he goes violently against the mother, he’d be blamed for being hen pecked...<br /><br />And Sugandha’s story has been so bitter that now she wants a child just to shut up the advising and blaming mouths! She’s gone through so much pressures that she feels she would perhaps not be able to do justice to motherhood!<br />Adoption is a great solution but the legalities and again fears of acceptance haunt them!<br />Even the adoption procedures are not so transparent n easy!<br /><br />I hope they get guided rightly too:-)<br />Thanks for your opinions hereSuruchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08352785820589232058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-59098822490401625352010-04-15T23:41:07.607+05:302010-04-15T23:41:07.607+05:30Suruchi-
You are a doll. These are issues that rea...Suruchi-<br />You are a doll. These are issues that really need to be highlighted. Not because, they are women oriented but because they are couple oriented. In two cases, The role of the husband is minimal, whereas, even though in laws are parents sorts, they are NOT the ones to be making the decision for the couple.<br /><br />The woman is called 'Ardhangini' in our Shatras and Vedas, meaning, that she is the other half /better half of the husband. Rarely treated that ways though.<br />We use the term like 'life Partner' for the one with whom we get married, even though marriage is NOT a contract especially by hindu laws, the entire system of the society that has been put in place makes it look more like a fucking contract being executed than it being a marriage.<br /><br />The most important thing that is to be kept in mind is that- A girl leaves her own house and comes to her husband's house, it is his prerogative to make his wife feel at home. No one can do it but the husband. And, if the husband keeps his foot down, and fends for his wife, well no one in the world can trouble her.<br />But that said, it DOES NOT MEAN-<br />that she should not stand up for herself, or put her foot down. Financial independence is a must, and so is having great friends like you for backing up. <br /><br />Thanks suruchi. Thank You. Am sharing this on FB.Sakshihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13560563322184558228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-75273869611727773542010-04-15T23:18:26.680+05:302010-04-15T23:18:26.680+05:30Hey Lincoln,
Thanks for upholding what I believe i...Hey Lincoln,<br />Thanks for upholding what I believe in too...<br />Interestingly there is the concept of DINK that is catching up in the metroes....Double Income No Kids...<br />Each one to his own!<br /><br />It’s ironic that at some places they want but cannot have children and at other point they can, but do not!<br /><br />It is easier said than done to say “fuck the society” because in the end the society fucks you back in return n for good!<br /><br />The matter here is not that options are available...the matter is that the woman concerned should have the choice of taking this decision and not follow what is imposed upon her!<br />The matter is why can’t she decide if she is happy that way, without being judged?<br /><br />And honestly, I don’t understand either why women stop working after marriage!<br />Thanks for voicing your opinion here!Suruchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08352785820589232058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871236373811077643.post-18885003979838516012010-04-15T23:12:57.344+05:302010-04-15T23:12:57.344+05:30The Bald Guy...
I should be thanking you...
Though...The Bald Guy...<br />I should be thanking you...<br />Though this is not half as hard hitting as what you have thrown light on in your blog...<br />But it is equally heartfelt in the urge to do something positive for a change!<br /><br />You know I became a greater fan of you after those posts, don't you?:-)Suruchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08352785820589232058noreply@blogger.com