So are you feling gay enough?

Wow...one dumb take in a movie on gay fusion and suddenly the topic is out of the closet and right there in our living room...!

‘Dostana’ broaching on light hearted homosexuality has done it alright!
And if you come from a small town like me...the reactions are equally entertaining and scintillating, if not surpassing the flick itself!

Just recently, I was dragged and placed in a purely dreaded social scenario...it was a gathering of just females (which by itself was enough to choke my guts out...)
When the topics of discussion began to wane to mother-in-laws and maids....I was bit by bit and mercilessly being strangulated to boredom and just about to screech ‘Help’ in a silent prayer to the almighty....when a ray of light came about on the other side of the tunnel....!

The affable lady of the house...the mother-in-law of our dear hostess, wanted to heat up the cold atmosphere and she exploded...
‘Have you seen this movie 'dostana'? (Raised more as a public declaration with disdain than pointed specifically at any wretched soul)
‘Kya ho raha hai aaj kal!’ (What is happening these days!)
‘We could never even think of this in our times...’ tch, tch...the clicking of the tongue was added to blend in appropriate imagery...

Unfortunately the lady by her side, well over her sixties too, had not been blessed enough, to know what exactly the reference was....
‘Kya hua?’ (What happened?)

‘Arrey...shameless things...can you imagine boy-boy together....’ and she pressed the temples of her forehead as though her veins may burst if she would not do so....

Now this was getting interesting....hmmm....
‘Acha!!!!!!!!!!!!’ (What!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
...now I can’t get that horror struck expression of her countenance in words so please spare my soul and imagine it yourself...just raise that monosyllable to the highest pitch of shock possible.

So that set the ball rolling....from 60 to 16 came the next verdict...
‘Yeah dadi (granny)...it was quite a bold subject....!’
It was spoken with an equally snobbish tone by a pretty young thing...though almost immediate was her embarrassment of doing so...she realized she should have just pretended to be dumb in this ridiculous conversation instead (....in the solitude of her imagination I’m sure she would have lusted after the delicious and rippling muscles of John Abraham, when he crooned through the upbeat songs....) anyways and thankfully, the teenager soon made a hasty exit....

No 1. What’s wrong with it but?
No 2. I think it is a disorder...by birth...
No 3. Yes, the boy can’t help liking another boy...it’s like a genetic thing...
(Oh my god....so much for a well informed public in India!)

No 1. You know I saw this in a talk show yesterday...the gay couple said they lived a life of suffocation and fear...
No 3. But all said and done I don’t think it’s a very welcome sight to watch...recently in Chandigarh I had seen a boy couple behind a tree holding hands and fondling and I felt disgusted as I watched and watched....aeuuuuwww.... (Something to that effect came from her mouth as her frowning muscles scrunched up...and naturally she was badgered by questions like...but dear why did you WATCH and WATCH?
Hahaha...good one I thought!


Now all the late 20’s something’s and in all of 30’s something’s were convulsive with unmatched fervour to cast their vote too...
No 3. You know they actually make the best of friends. They are really caring (I noticed how everyone somehow was dodging the utterance of the word ‘gay’ using references like ‘they’ or ‘them’)

No 4. The government should legalize it.
No 2. Yeah it would save the children from the unwarranted curiosity.
No 1. Do you know statistics reveal that per day 6000 abortions occur in Delhi alone...and that too mostly for girls under 17?

(my dear ladies...so typical...how have we landed on discussing sexual ferocity in teenagers from unabashed homosexuality....oh come on...it was just beginning to get interesting...)

No 4. You know we should be kind of prepared that when our son grows up he may bring in another handsome boy as his prospective groom...
No 1. But how do they do it? I mean.... (And she faded off in her remark quite flustered) while the entire room burst out in guffaws as each one must have imagined portions of 'HOW THEY DO IT' according to their sensibilities.

...So from an intelligent conversation the discussion became a pot purée of gross descriptions pouring from polluted minds and weird interpretations of positions and crisis emerging thereby....causing the room to roar with unrestrained laughter.

So dear friends, if you are still wondering...did some conclusion came out of this....then you don’t know the female psyche just yet....and to expect a bunch of the so called weaker sex to reach a logical, sure shot inference, is in itself a big illusion...sorry girls, but some things just hold true....even in our not so gay world!