My Date with my Stalker....

Little moments of fun extracted from everyday life, are what I live for, don’t we all?
Some moments of laughter or amusement even if they are at our expense, as long as they spread smiles...
And when I look back into the recent times many such epiphanies stand out more menacingly than the rest, bringing a dubious grin on my face and so I thought I’d share here one...

Hmm...No news here that I loooove my evening walks...a sojourn into ultimate peace and oneness with myself and my surroundings...
However, of late I had a stalker...
I mean if he was worth any mettle he would have been glorified here for having the guts and good taste to do so...but since he was not...I thought let me slaughter him here with my words at least...

So this guy for two days kind of followed me in his white Santro car with an outstation number and outlandishly tinted glasses of the windows...He would stop the car on the left side of the road just a few steps ahead of me (I would have told you precisely how many yards or metres or whatever ahead...but I have more than once established my affinity with numbers...so I’d let it pass lest it baffles you more than I already do). Ok so where were we...right, he would halt his car and wait for me to cross over and then within minutes repeat the drill, much to my annoyance...Matlab ki I know I have a pretty face why waste time on the rear view phir...I knew it then and there that the guy was dumb...!

Still, I thought why to take pangas and let it pass...I crossed over to the right side of the street to avoid him but it did not deter the nut-head and after 5-6 times of doing this obnoxious act, I guess better things called on him and he decided to let go...Wonder if he read my earlier blog on ‘let go’ and hence got motivated...Anyways, the next day too he re-acted the audacity.

So I did what most sensible and coy housewives would do after returning home...told my dearly beloved. And he did what most senseless and lazy husbands would do...told me stop going for the walks...Thankfully he added there- ‘till I return from my tour’ or else he would have not been able to go to that one getting me all volcanic. I reflected upon his brilliant solution... should I wait for his return? I mean in all probability he would not be tearing his shirt, with a Sunny Deol yell of ‘kutte kamine’ and next tear the entrails of that poor soul...
Hmm...So I thought it was time for some girl power to surface...ok, ok...some woman power to be stirred into me!
Enough of ‘abla’ naari syndrome...it had to be the ‘able’ naari now...

So a feisty me on last Sunday evening decided to adorn the garbs of Jhansi ke raani...well, not literally of course...more like Kanpur ke raani...and started off with all my grit to teach the bugger a lesson. I decided to take my umbrella along just in case I might desire to get wild and violent...not like you think, so please rest your naughty minds.

So in one hand I had my iPod with earphones plugged in, in the second I had my mobile phone and please don’t ask me how I managed to hold on to the umbrella...some things are so complicated that they are better left unsaid...

And I walked...
And walked...
And walked...
Chidwaane waale log tayyar the but cheedne waale he nahi aaye....

Hmm...Very anti climax-tic I know...
But the guy just went whoosh...
And I with my army of weapons and freshly rehearsed and improvised stock of abuses had no choice but to return with a long face...Imagine how kings felt when they returned empty handed from the battle fields...bina maar dhad ke...!
I so wanted to show some beauty, brains and brawns to him...maybe even maaro that dialogue... “Aapke ghar mein ma behen nahi hain kya?”...just to see if it really works in real life...
But alas! Dil ke armaan aansoon mein beh gaye....!
Probably he realized that third time/day is not lucky or the cosmos conspired to let my malicious vibrations reach to him and made him quit Kanpur ke dharti...

Whatever...no stunts and actions transpired, so I all perspired and returned home completely fired....Bad rhymes, good sentiment expression! So the able naari was told to settle down and wait for another opportune moment...
Until she is back again...happy and safe stalking and being stalked to all of you!