Gadgetisizing Me!

It is strange how you are born one person and how you evolve into another. I was born a gadget-free girl ya, right, I know everyone is- there are chances you can be born with a silver spoon but never with a silver laptop, can you? But I was different initially-too many machines and wires and processes would put me into foreboding and I almost anticipated that someday I might take a premature retirement in my teens and go to the Himalayas to lead a confusion-free, tech-free life. 

That of course did not happen because:

A. Himalayas did not have McDonalds or KFC and hunting down animals to make my own burger, would require hunting down bakers to make my own bun too -huh?

B. I wasn’t married yet so I would need more than just clothes to keep me warm and I didn’t think I’d meet sexy rishis on the way.

C. Wriggly and reptile-ish things with many feet scared me more than all the wires put around me together.

D....Never mind, point is I did not retire and it is just a coincidence that the ‘Save Himalaya’ Movement has been relaxed since then and they shifted their focus on ‘Save Tiger’ instead.

But along with adulthood came the subtle inevitability of technology seeping in-television and the advent of foreign soaps brought enlightenment that if at first you don’t get the good looking hunk to walk the aisle, wait a while and his father would anyways jump the bandwagon nopes, I did not call you a bandwagon, it was for analogy’s sake. Being the ‘couch potato’ was the training ground for being the eventual ‘couch slave’.

The mobile slowly became such a permanent fixture at the edge of that thing called my arm that so many times I almost shuffle my hands vigorously to make sure my cell phone hasn’t got stipulated there. Thank god I also slowly understood the need for vibratory mode on this gadget, before doing ‘Ram, Ram-ghor kalyug!’ and shunning it as a device meant to corrupt gullible and experimental minds and bodies. It is so me now that it faithfully sleeps by my bed side and is the first thing I peer into after opening my eyeballs yes, I live in the belief that the humanity has nothing better to do than give me missed calls and forwarded messages in the dark, wee hours by which we can change the world and make it a better place. Even during the night sometimes I wake up with a fright, not because the baby may have woken up but because I seemed to have “heard” the message tone beep. My mobile is now synonymous with me, my E63-big yet handy, communicative yet trouble free!

Also came the realisation for wanting the air conditioners to keep me looking sweat-free and touchable and for geysers to keep me from freezing so that I melt others at first fright...er...sight. So what if I did not understand what was happening inside those big fat boxes, I could at least switch them on and off and be done with it.

However, the machinery that slowly grew on me was the computer yes, look closer and you might almost find little laptops budding here and there so much has the “growing” been effective. I used to look down disdainfully at those addicted to the World Wide Web-but like they say, tab tak sherni ke mooh mein khoon nahi laga tha! You need to be in Rome to do like the Romans do!

My first computer was a laptop gifted by my dearly beloved after our wedding bells had rung loud and clear. Little did he know that he was inviting competition for himself into his own home and right onto his bed. If I am not found anywhere in the house, rest assured I could be located curled up at the edge of the thing I sleep on with the thing I often sleep with-my laptop. In fact sometimes when by chance I leave it for charging on his side, I can almost trace visible fume like stuff of envy emitting out of his head. I sniff and ask him if something is burning and he says with a mad scientist grin, “Yes, your laptop” and I make sure I call the insurance waala immediately and double check if I have got the fire insurance claim on my gadgets. “For god’s sake,” I tell my beloved, “It is just a machine” and then wink back to my machine and tell it, “Oh, he is just a man!”

When I started my relationship with this gadget, I was often left wondering how similar we are in so many ways and yet so different:

A. We are both kind of harmless when we are on sleep mode/shut down and lo, the moment we open up, you just can’t stop the action and the jabber!

B. We come in various shapes and sizes-I have forever been oscillating between various volumes and magnitudes and I think neither can the computer make up its mind of what’s the best statistics for it. The previous bulky models were so me-we fitted extremely well in the lap, as its name was meant to signify. But then the manufacturers got inspired by size zero and the belief that ‘less is more’. I now have to sweat out my hard earned flesh to keep up to fit into arms and palms.

C. We both can do wonders if you press our keys right and when charged fully, you just have to watch us perform please don’t ask me to decode that, there are some answers that even Google is afraid to provide.   

D. We both use “enter” mode more than “shift/control” and we can go up to a lot of F’s when required-F1, F2, F3, etc. Okay time to shut up with my ABCD!

However, I do wish I was as user friendly and the memory within me just as vast and just as easy to delete! *Sigh!*

We recently upgraded our laptop model-I wanted something more colourful and snappier-something that defined the colours in me, brought the globe to my finger tip and transformed carrying its weight into a child’s play. I know I can be demanding sometimes but then why not demand when/till when you are in demand? I can now carry it along where ever I go and it does the work of a stylish clutch in my arms-yes, it pays to have it, in its own way. My beloved no longer minds for he realizes there is no winning when it comes to Man Vs the Machine, unless they bring in laptops that have rounder bottoms than his.

Alas! It would be an understatement to say, that my lappy is now become my best friend! I speak to it whenever I need to vent, I connect with it whenever I need to reach out, spend time with it whenever I want to be left alone. You might as well say, ‘You never know how well you click, till you click’. My beloved going away for a week is not such a ghastly/life altering premise now as the lappy going away to the repair shop for a day. I don’t understand how can two people sit for hours looking into each other’s eyes but please don’t ask me to explain how I can sit for sometimes a full day looking at the screen. And when that little internet blue balloon emerges on the little bar below, no blues can sustain and no bars entice enough. Such is life-technology happens and gadgets snap in!

Okay, I don't think this would ever happen but OMG, I  just might reach here some day!

P.S.: This blogpost is written in response to the contest 'CHANGE IS EASY' hosted by Dell Inspiron Laptop with customizable covers on Indibloggers.

I have participated for the first time. Please go to this page and vote for me there if you like it:-)Thanks!