Top 10 favourite drama lines of The Drama Queen-ME!

Some dialogues achieve legendary status...
They are repeatedly used and abused to highlight the drama that people and situations are capable of. I have been universally acclaimed as the ‘Drama Queen’, ‘Madam Nautanki’, etc., by my so-called friends and acquaintances and I try all in my powers to maintain and fulfil the expectations...haan jab tak hain jaan lalalalalaaa jaane jahan dramaaa karoongi types!
What is life yaar without a little natakiye spectacle anyways! Like a dear friend of mine asks... ‘Aap kabhi normal bhi rehte hain ya yeh hi aapka so-not-normal self hain?’ Now what do you answer to that! So here are some lines that I love to croon and torture the world with, when I am not taken seriously and these lines ensure that it does not stir the fabric of this recognition status.


1. “Hey bhagwaan....yeh sab sun ne se pehle mujhe utha kyon nahi liya”
This is my eternal favourite. I am guilty of using it almost on a daily basis and before you so much as blink an eye lid I may have improvised it, to rise to the occasion. Romance at short notice is my speciality! Kabhi kabhi some dumb asses maroo retorts back like... “Uthaya nahi kyonki tere ko uthaane ke liye crane bulaana padega” to which I just say “veryyyy funnyyyy” and go about my way!

Like say a photograph in which my dear beloved is cosily posing with a female friend.... “Hey bhagwaan, yeh sab dikhaane se pehle yeh friend ko kyon nahi utha liya”...or someone unflatteringly fails to make a right pass during a chat... “Hey bhagwaan, yeh sab sunwane se pehle aapka laptop kyon nahi conk off ho gaya....”
See practical thinking at its very best. Ab why should I ask bhagwaan to pick ME up only all the time, when I can get away with the actual pain in the ass, with the same pleading?
And ‘hey’ bolte he bhagwaan ji, would actually oblige!


2. "Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayaal aata hain"
Mere to dil mein hamesha he khayaal aate rehte hain yaar and it’s best not asked kiss kiss tarah ke khayaal coz they are kiss worthy actually...but just not so kissable by all!
Like this is my favourite when I plan to get on to the nerves of my beloved:
Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayaal aata hain....
Ya mein aur mere tanhaaye aksar yeh baatein karte hain...
Ke agar abhi aap hote to kaisa hota...
Aap is baat pe mujhe tokte aur mein ushe baat ko nazar andaaz karte....
Aap is baat pe mujh se argue karte, mein us baat pe aapko ignore karte...hehe...
Improvise baby...that’s the name of the game!


3. “Kutte kaminey...tumhare ghar mein ma-bahen nahi hain kya”
And if it’s a gal (thanks to section 377, we now have best of both worlds accessible) it is equally mouth-able to ask: tumhaare ghar mein baap-bhai nahi hain kya...
And if by chance this mother of all dumb query is made to me...I simply retort back...
“Hain na...bas aapke he kami hain...chalta kya?”;)

Arrey kutte kaminey se ek aur yaad aaya:
“Kuttey kamine mein tera khoon pe jaaonga”
Tch, tch...kyon bhai...aap Dracula ho? Itne he pyaas lagi hain to kuch dhang ka peyo na jaa ke...kya khoon-shoon pe rahe ho...Woh to waise he peeto ho saara din, straw laga laga ke...and bheja saath mein chaat ke;)

Aur ‘tumhare’ se ek aur yaad aaya...abhi abhi:
“Mein tumhaare bachche ke ma banane waalen hoon”
What crap yaar...which wife says like that to her husband? Would make even the husband doubt if he lawfully married this girl or is a bastard on his way! This is best used when someone tries to get very comfy with you...just turn around and say... “Agar aap aise he karte rahe to mujhe majboorab sab ko yeh bataana he padega ke mein tumhaare bachche ke ma banana waale hoon”....and hope to dear god that he is not a quick wit to answer back n whoosh...just disappear!


4. “Mujhe chodh do....bhagwaan ke liye mujhe chodh do...mein tumhaare pao padte hoon...meine tumhaara kya bigaada hain?”
Now, now...there are some serious faults with this one, evoking the million dollar question: what the bloody hell was the dialogue writer thinking while coining this one!
* ‘Mujhe chodh do’...matlab it’s ok to hear it as a phrase strung together....but just imagine....haan,haan...just suppose the lady had to write a letter instead asking her to be left alone? Then she must specify that chodh here means leave...otherwise technical locha ho sakta hain na beedu...
* Then ‘bhagwaan ke liye chodhne’ ka kya fayda...He is neither seen nor felt...then leaving oneself for Him makes a rather longish wait for unguaranteed fulfilment...what say?
* N darling agar paon mein giroge to physical contact hoga...physical contact hoga to sexual tension aur badhege...n agar aur badhe to bloody what’s the purpose of this self defying dialogue?
* Hmmm...n agar mera kuch ‘bigaada nahi’ to abhi tak kuch sawaara bhi to nahi...abhi kuch to karo meri jaan...
Oye, aisa mein nahi...ranjeet-types log keh sakte hain na...to phir...another fuddu dialogue gone down the drain!


5. “Mauuusi ji....mein neeche aa raha hoon mausi ji...duniya waaloon mein koodne ja raha hoon... marne ja raha haon mausi ji....”
Now please don’t ask me ‘yen key yen keen bola' kinky then I’ll ask u ‘tumhaara naam kya hain Basanti”...
These are like ultimate in drama yaar...
Marne ka mood na bhi ho...The moment u stretch that word ‘mauuusi jiiii’...somehow mood ban jaata hain yaar....


6. “Cognac sharaab nahi hote”....
“And sharaab nahi peene chahiye, maloom kyon...kyonki sharaab peene se lever kharaab ho jaata hain...”
Oho...Sridevi oozing with sex appeal, agar oomph kar ke bole cognac sharaab nahi hote...any man worth his mettle would not dare to disagree....So dearies, you just need to say it as coyly and seductively n get away with another tequila shot or a vodka peg!
And when dearly beloved ko check karna ho...So give him the ‘lever kharaab hota hain’ bull shit of Amitabh Bachchan...haaiyn!


7. “Bade bade shehron mein aise chote chote baatein to jaate hain senorita...
Rahul...naam to suna hoga”
Suruchi...naam to suna hoga....acha nahi suna...phitte mooh, ke kitta phir itne din is planet pe...chal oye koi gal nahi... let’s try this....
My name is Arora....Suruchi Arora....
Bhak saala...naam bhi James Bondish nahi hain yaar....
Par chalo...abhi tak nahi suna to kya hua...abhi sun liya na...abhi yaad rakhne ka...warna ek kaan ke neeche bajake deneka...


8. “NAHIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN...in tak pahunchne ke liye tumhe mere laash par se guzarna padega....”
Kya drama hain yaar yeh....tumhaare body na hue...municipality ka pull ho gaya which you have to cross to reach to the other side...
Last time I marooed this dumb nut of a comment to my hubby’s friend...you know what he said....acha theek hain phir...leet jao tum mein guzarta hoon tumhaare upar se with a devilish glint in his eyes..................................................................
Needless to say I am now more meticulous in choosing kissko allow karna hain mere laash par se guzarne ko...after all corpses also have some standards yaar...no thoroughfare this is!


8. “Khush to tum bahuuuuut hoge aaj”
Waah waah...when someone makes good food woh kehte hain na “man karta hain banana waale ke haath choom loon...”
Too bad you can’t say the same thing, when someone says a good dialogue...Abe kya choomoge...bolne waale ke hooth?
Anyways, Suruchi...don’t digress....What I mean is it’s a beautiful dialogue...keep it on your finger tips guys...kabhi bhi kisse ko bhi bajake maaro yeh line...saala kabhi doobara khush hone ke galti nahi karta...or depending upon how pathetic is your situation...ROFLMAO bhi ho sakta hain....user’s discretion solicited....

Waise the same flick may be gave us another all time favourite...
“Mere pass bangala hain, gaddi hain, naukar chaakar hain...tumhaare pass kya hain?
Mere pass ma hain...maaaaaaaa....”

This one was best interpreted when I phenkoed it to my brother who has my genes and hence equally prone to doing drama at the drop of the hat....
Me: Mere pass bangala hain, gaddi hain, naukar chaakar hain...
Bro: Mere pass bhi bangala hain, gaddi hain, naukar chaakar bhi hain
Me: Abe...to saala apne ma kisske pass hain....hehe....


9. “Shaanth ho ja gada dhaari bheem...shaanth”
This one’s so cute...kisse ko bhi shaant karna ho...Aiyla bole to supaari wupaari nahi yaar...shaant temperament karne ka...
Use this cutie pie of a dialogue...bound to bring in smiles....


10. “Hey bhagwaan, mein loot gaye, mein barbaad ho gaye...”
Lo, one point that I have discovered in this dialogue-giri session...yaar bhagwaan bahut popular hain writer log mein...jab dekho kisse bhi situation mein unko koi na koi bula ke ya tapka ke rehta hain...Poor God ji...no rest, all day working at the beck n call of someone who says bhagwaan, mujhe utha lo...or mujhe bhagwaan ke liye chodh do or then again...bhagwaan, mein loot gaye n bardbaad ho gaye...

High time God ji u say back “to yaar ab mein kya karon is mein...maza sab tum log looto n baat baat pe mere ko poke kar ke bulaao....
Kya socha tha...bhagwaan khush hoga...shaabaashi dega....Bahuuuuuuuuuuut nainsaafi hain...thai, thai, thai...soowar ke bachchon....!”