To the Voice, To THE Woman

Dear Love,

After talking my insides out with you over the past many months, I don’t really know what to articulate here. But I know I want to and I have to say what you must know.

It is strange how I always knew someone like you would come along. How I discerned I would be finished even before I was introduced to your mesmeric though decidedly anonymous persona on the internet. Like they say “I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life...”

When I first came across your chitter-chatter in the web world, I smiled even perhaps as my heart naively ached. I made a little holler, you coyly and graciously reciprocated and the rolling of inconceivable conversations took me to the utopia that I didn’t think exists in the mundane. You made my mind come alive and my being gyrate to an unknown rhythm and accord. It was as though you stirred me into mind orgasms that left me hankering for more.

Was I lucky that you spotted me in your milieu of ardent admirers or was fate finally beginning to compensate for keeping me in yearning for all of my twenty seven years?


My most beloved, if most people are like visitors to my heart, carefully scrutinized and allowed access and shown to their separate chambers, you were like a tidal wave of passion which crashed and sank my castle, occupying every single room and every individual speck and dragging and drowning me in every facet of your emotion. Your eagerness in contacting me, your unsurpassable wit and your openly frolicking teases in plain sight of everyone, made me go red in the cheeks. Yes, only you can make me this adolescent that I never was, even when I was in those years to prove it and with those girls to show it. 


Your literal dragging me to the secret messaging chambers and whining light-heartedly how you want my words to be only yours....I have never seen or even heard of anyone like you. Here finally is someone who ignites a young mind in the day while her alter ego ignites passions in hearts. Not ignites as much as chains and drags them to the town hall and sets fire to them in full view of the rest-peasants and nobles alike.

Remember when you childishly asked, “Why don’t you add me on Facebook now?” and I instantly retorted, “Because if I did see any more of you, I would fall for you.” I meant it with all my heart as you laughed filling my voids with its tinkling, considering it just another fancy.

And then I saw you and I could see what no one else could. Pictures after pictures of a smiling beautiful face but searching eyes! I saw you wrapped in the arms of a child who basked in the affection you bestowed and beside a man gloating with the pride of owning you.

If there is another thing that cannot be explained, besides the fatal lure I feel for you, is how could this man leave you for another woman? How clogged would his mind and senses be to let go of nature’s own special child-bountiful in life like a tree blossoming in springtime and bequeathing love everywhere she treads as the eagerly cascading waterfall, sparkling with freshness and affable even in the apparent din.

How I could sell my body and soul just to trade places with him-to feel you in proximity, to watch you open those lovely fish eyes every morning, waking up to me! To know the curves under the sheet by my bedside are yours and the soft palm that reaches out from it to clasp my fingers will be mine. To feel that the exquisite mind that weaves magic with its every manifestation, ponders about me!

You think I just know you through your pictures, I just know you though your voice...wish you could realize I know you through my soul that feels tugged by every iota I get of you! You tell me that nothing can transpire between us when I have ambled way too ahead towards you to even remember where I came from or how I was, without you in my head. And don’t make a mistake my love, had you told me this even when I took the first step, I would have doubtlessly said the same. There is no other way that does not lead to you. 


I have my own enticing vision of you. In your home, in your kitchen quarters, you would be wearing a sari well tucked at the edge, those long tresses wrapped and bondaged sketchily on your perfectly symmetrical forehead. You would be there caught day dreaming, leaning against the refrigerator with one leg bent and both hands supporting your behind on the door and your eyes forlorn into the ceiling. If even I appear in that situation just once, I for one would feel truly blessed.


I go about thinking how you would be teaching your adorable son with a pencil rolled between your full lips and sighing at the mathematical complications. I picture him looking at you with the familiar to me awe-filled eyes, as your expressions see-saw between the baffled and despair. How I want to reach out to you, to smoothen the cresses that mar your glowing countenance and put my palms on your shoulders to gently press them and unlock the knots forming within.

You say you can’t love or trust any more. How then do I feel a blind trust you place in me as you relate how unfair life has been with you? Why do I feel your heart throbbing when I whisper sweet nothings as though I had you pressing against my chest? Why do I feel even when I’ll meet you, it would be like you were never away?

I know no fancy words....I promise no unfathomable oaths....I just want you, to love forever and more. I don’t care about your body or how you fear it might fail to meet my expectations. I don’t have any. All I have is love that is prevailing in my insides and too formidable to contain anymore. All I have is me telling you that your son and you would never be alone or know another tear again. It is never too soon or never too late when it feels this right.

I do not bring roses or champagne glasses....I have no fancy tuxedos to wear or a band playing a romantic tune in the backdrop but if you can hear which I am sure you would if you try-hear my soul pining for you, my blood rushing through my body wanting to protect you and my breaths coming and going just to hear you say “Yes” when I ask you this-

MARRY ME?

Yours-in every life coming my way, whether you do or not,

Me.   

P.S.1 I wanted to end this letter on a sad and dejected note conflicting with even a foretaste of the 'happily ever after' but it is Valentine's Day and what the heck, you can't say Santa does not exist at Christmas.
P.S. 2. This is another attempt at the Open love letters and hopefully there would be more after everyone liked the first one- To The Girl at 27.