A Walk down the Memory Lane...

Recently I got some school and teenage times pictures of mine scanned and uploaded on the social networking site-Face book which brought a whole gang of my school and college friends into action...commenting, remembering and poking, for all of us batch-mates were stirred within by a churning feeling and yearning to return back to those good old days. As we conversed and communicated, the past memories came unraveling and filled me with that deep sense of something lost, when you feel happiness and sorrow at the same time. Joy that these days did come in your life at some point and despair that they passed by so soon!
Some of what we remembered I would like to share here...

This must be when we were in Grade 5. Normal children at that age are coy and geeky but we...na ji na...we never did confirm to any standards and sought to shatter them whenever they sternly towered before us. I would either scandalize you or cause you to break into guffaws with this, but either ways this must come out. We were not horny or malevolent...just simply fun driven. There was a gang of some five of us and what was our favourite once-a-day drill? To bend down under the benches and be able to tell what colour the girl behind us, with her legs spread apart almost always, was wearing....ewwwww gross when you think of it now. But then an insane competition would ensue of who would succeed in knowing the maximum colours and also making predictions of the colour next day! How we judged the authenticity of the winners was subject to much controversy and eventually got the cat out of the bag. The age old tradition was quite nipped in the bud, but then it was maha adventurous till it lasted. I guess all-girls school or an-all boys school are indeed injurious to health of growing children, for see how we have turned out to be!

This next anecdote must be from the time when we were in Class 11th, I think. A beautiful rainy day of monsoons like now and my friend Surabhi and I decided to go for a drive to grab up some eatery. Now my little town has a famous street called Arya Nagar with equally little food shops fringing either sides of this long lane. It is like the Mall Road of big towns and the hang out for youngsters. So like they say “mulla ke daud masjid tak”....whenever we would want an outing, Arya Nagar was THE place to go to, with its shops offering nick-knacks to tantalize the taste buds and “items” of either sex hovering about to capture the eye of someone who’d be interested...

So dressed in beautiful Indian suits, we parked our car on the opposite side of the street of a shop which had two handsome famed hunks of our town standing under its shed. Hmm...We were out on a prowl and had just found our targets. This was our destination for ‘ek teer do nishaana’ syndrome...khaane ka khaana and harmless display of ourselves and some eye tonic as well...Why settle for less, when you can get more, simple fundas!
So with oodles of style pouring out of our pores, we moved out into the pitter patter to go to the next side of the road.

Handling our duppattas with great ada, unruffling our mildly wet hair, pulling our salwaars mischievously some 7 inches above the ankle due to water all around and smiles playing on our faces...what hopes of great conquest we thought awaited! Surabhi moved out first and just as she was about to walk out to the spot, she went off my focus and disappeared...
Aha, no magic there my friend....because when I looked around I did not see her, but when I looked down, there she was stretched out upon mother earth. Apparently there was a main-hole or something open, just outside the shop and she had dropped into that full on, since due to water logging on the street, no inch of the ground was visible. Suppressing my laughter and thinking how dumb she can be to fall before the hunks and let me add to my market value by rescuing the damsel in distress, I took the giant leap for mankind to lend her a helping hand...

And voila! The very next moment I joined her on the ground for it was not a main hole but a drainage line...And for the next five minutes, what did we do? We sat flat out on the ground, right in the middle of the busiest high end street of our town and laughed our guts out.

The handsome hunks had more of surprise on their faces than any kind of conducive impression that we had expected to create...But they also lost big time on our cards for not being chivalrous enough to come forward to help. Probably they had learnt by my example and feared wetting their branded clothes...So after being completely drenched in that street water, a pathetic sight to look at probably...we still had the balls to walk past these guys and order our burgers...went full on back in the rain, laughing and dodging the conspiring drainage to latch onto us again. What a day! Those out on a conquest had been conquered and tagged with being the dumbest girls but we had loved each moment of it!

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh...so much more to share...but let me keep that for a sequel for just these two memories have left me with a sweet, light aura that I would like to linger...So until next time let that child in you stay alive! I stopped growing mentally after the age of 21...and no fatal damages have been done so far but letting me rest in peace. So stay alive and kicking!

We all are Little Bags of Contradictions!

Confess, confess and cleanse...
I certainly am a big bag of contradictions!
In fact such is my state that most of the times I amaze myself only, by remaining stuck in self created bafflements. I demand for things I can’t supply. I call myself independent and within moments crave for protective hands to hold me. I declare I am strong but the slightest hint of hurt gets me in an inner turmoil, never mind how I project ‘me’ to the world. It’s not just the difference between saying one thing and meaning or showing another. It is really like the two faces of the coin with us all. So when we flip the coin up, we should be prepared that either side could land on our palm. This however, leaves us in a perpetual state of doubt of who we really are or what we really want. Also then as such, we can’t raise fingers at others...for what we can’t fathom, how would they be able to unravel it?

Upon deeper thought, no one can really live on the verge of extremes forever and God made us in his notorious designs of mind boggling paradoxes. Aren’t the most confident of souls ever confused? The most morality stricken ever detoured? The degrees and frequency may vary but basic intrinsic human nature tends to oscillate...We like being pendulums and the steadiness of remaining still in the centre almost brings our clock to a standstill. We also don’t like to be in one periphery for too long. Hence the paradigm shifts keep the life moving by adding that zing.

So, much as you may hate the predicament, inconsistencies are not always negative!
For each time you contradict yourself, you know a little more about you- good or bad. It leads you to questioning about what is it that you really are seeking here...time to see the mirror and reflect.
At other times when you contradict, you are perhaps only looking for a validation. It is a desire for the assertion of that side to you, which you want to hear of or pine for by this so called 'contradiction'. It may also often be just a help call to others to lift you out from the rut, by putting you on the fringe where you really should be, for otherwise you tend to dilly dally the analysis living in the fear of arriving at it or just not strong enough to do it by yourself.

You may also negate or challenge just for the heck of it...for lack of anything better to do, and it provides you an adrenalin rush to get into argumentative mode with yourself or others. You seek to create a mystery around you, letting others hang on to your every word and dare not take you for granted. For when they do, you get the chance to spin a complete 360 degrees and get to watch with sinful pleasure, the disbelief on their countenances. Who’s to say the high from this drill is any lesser than that provided by the ales at the counter of a bar or less morally wrong for that matter?

Also within all contradictions of persons or their speeches lie the subtle hints as to their actual inclinations. It needs no special discerning eye to gauge that...just an empathetic and open heart. No matter how confused we say we are or make others feel it, deep down we know our true selves and what we are actually capable of...
Mystery adds the spice to our existence, but an extra dosage of spices can get you to burn your tongue. It is said more battles are lost due to indecisiveness than by lack of action!

So contradict where you can’t help but conclude where you can!
Spin where it is conducive, but be steady where it may get injurious!
Accept that idea that both exist in you taking you to your redemption...
Reject the notion that by sticking fiercely to one you may reach there without guilt!
Don't be afraid of contradictions, learn to live and be at peace with them!
Let’s celebrate our flaws and not hide them...
Welcome confusion for a change and not pretend to know it all...
Let’s be a little more us, than striving to be what we deem we should!

Love Is....

(Love seems to be in the air and it's not even February yet with its mad valentine flavor...Well, this here is a superb summary of what love is, contributed in all his profound genius by another dear friend...thank you for sharing this amazing interpretation that leaves no room for argument, apprehensions or doubt! Love to live or live to love....pretty much the same! Let's spread the good word!)


Well Love.....is.....ummmmm.....
Love has no bounds, like the open blue sky...like the ocean with its seamless and imaginary boundary called the horizon....or like the mirage, raring u to go ahead......like the intrigue of Bermuda Triangle..... or perhaps like the mysterious darkness which scares you but urges to find more.....Like an eternal light guiding us and at times blinding us.....like the forbidden path on which your feet take you with reluctance but also not wanting to turn back.....like the depth of the sea which you cannot fathom.....like the wrath of a raging bush fire which can turn greenery into simmering coal.....Like cool winds blowing from the Himalayas.....like a Tsunami which heads towards shores to sweep away everything in its path......like a painting full of vibrant colours.....like the innocence of a child....like the compulsive beating of the heart.....like the value of infinity!

Love can give birth to life...love can kill
love can hurt...love can love
love is good...love is bad
love gets the best out of us...and gets the worst out of us
love is bright....love is dark
love is pure...love is sinful
love is seductive and thrilling.....love is dangerous and harmful
love is peace....love is turmoil
love happens most unexpected....and the most unexpected happens in love
love needs no stage....love needs no age!

love is nothing but it is Everything......
I think the secret is unraveled....
LOVE IS GOD AND GOD IS LOVE

The Honeymoon that never ends...By Osho

(Another piece here forwarded by a dear friend of mine, which stirred me deeply and hence an attempt to allow it to reach to the chords of your heart too...a beautiful rendition of words and seamless thoughts by Osho...Enjoy, experience and evolve!And thank u dear friend for enriching me with this!)



LOVE IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP....
Love relates, but it is not a relationship. A relationship is something finished. A relationship is a noun; the full stop has come, the honeymoon is over. Now there is no joy, no enthusiasm, now all is finished. You can carry it on, just to keep your promises. You can carry it on because it is comfortable, convenient, cozy. You can carry it on because there is nothing else to do. You can carry it on because if you disrupt it, it is going to create much trouble for you… Relationship means something complete, finished, closed.

Love is never a relationship; love is relating. It is always a river, flowing, unending. Love knows no full stop; the honeymoon begins but never ends. It is not like a novel that starts at a certain point and ends at a certain point. It is an ongoing phenomenon. Lovers end, love continues– it is a continuum. It is a verb, not a noun.

And why do we reduce the beauty of relating to relationship? Why are we in such a hurry? Because to relate is insecure, and relationship is a security. Relationship has a certainty; relating is just a meeting of two strangers, maybe just an overnight stay and in the morning we say goodbye. Who knows what is going to happen tomorrow? And we are so afraid that we want to make it certain, we want to make it predictable. We would like tomorrow to be according to our ideas; we don't allow it freedom to have its own say. So we immediately reduce every verb to a noun.

You are in love with a woman or a man and immediately you start thinking of getting married. Make it a legal contract. Why? How does the law come into love? The law comes into love because love is not there. It is only a fantasy, and you know the fantasy will disappear. Before it disappears settle down, before it disappears do something so it becomes impossible to separate.

In a better world, with more meditative people, with a little more enlightenment spread over the earth, people will love, love immensely, but their love will remain a relating not a relationship. And I am not saying that their love will be only momentary. There is every possibility their love may go deeper than your love, may have a higher quality of intimacy, may have something more of poetry and more of godliness in it. And there is every possibility their love may last longer than your so-called relationship ever lasts. But it will not be guaranteed by the law, by the court, by the policeman. The guarantee will be inner. It will be a commitment from the heart, it will be a silent communion.

If you enjoy being with somebody, you would like to enjoy it more and more. If you enjoy the intimacy, you would like to explore the intimacy more and more. And there are a few flowers of love which bloom only after long intimacies. There are seasonal flowers too; within six weeks they are there, in the sun, but within six weeks again they are gone forever. There are flowers that take years to come, and there are flowers that take many years to come. The longer it takes, the deeper it goes. But it has to be a commitment from one heart to another heart. It has not even to be verbalized, because to verbalize it is to profane it. It has to be a silent commitment; eye to eye, heart to heart, being to being. It has to be understood, not said.

Forget relationships and learn how to relate.

Once you are in a relationship you start taking each other for granted– that's what destroys all love affairs. The woman thinks she knows the man, the man thinks he knows the woman. Nobody knows either! It is impossible to know the other, the other remains a mystery. And to take the other for granted is insulting, disrespectful.

To think that you know your wife is very, very ungrateful. How can you know the woman? How can you know the man? They are processes, they are not things. The woman that you knew yesterday is not there today. So much water has gone down the Ganges; she is somebody else, totally different. Relate again, start again, don't take it for granted.

And the man that you slept with last night, look at his face again in the morning. He is no more the same person, so much has changed. So much, incalculably much has changed. That is the difference between a thing and a person. The furniture in the room is the same, but the man and the woman, they are no more the same. Explore again, start again. That's what I mean by relating.

Relating means you are always starting, you are continuously trying to become acquainted. Again and again, you are introducing yourself to each other. You are trying to see the many facets of the other's personality. You are trying to penetrate deeper and deeper into his realm of inner feelings, into the deep recesses of his being. You are trying to unravel a mystery which cannot be unraveled. That is the joy of love: the exploration of consciousness.

And if you relate, and don't reduce it to a relationship, then the other will become a mirror to you. Exploring him, unawares you will be exploring yourself too. Getting deeper into the other, knowing his feelings, his thoughts, his deeper stirrings, you will be knowing your own deeper stirrings too. Lovers become mirrors to each other, and then love becomes a meditation. Relationship is ugly, relating is beautiful.

Hence I say relate. By saying relate, I mean remain continuously on a honeymoon. Go on searching and seeking each other, finding new ways of loving each other, finding new ways of being with each other. And each person is such an infinite mystery, inexhaustible, unfathomable, that it is not possible that you can ever say, "I have known her," or, "I have known him." At the most you can say, "I have tried my best, but the mystery remains a mystery."

In fact the more you know, the more mysterious the other becomes. Then love is a constant adventure.

"Come to my boozelum angel"...The Unchartered World of Booze!

Hey this corny line was in a school chapter of ours I think in standard 7th or 8th...and yup it means exactly as it sounds...it spoke of a lady with very big “assets”, who would call this nervous little employee to her ‘boozelum’ every time he scored well at work...so much that the poor lad began to fear doing well...It’s better to crash than to be crushed under road rollers like those!
So after guffaws and sniggers about it, it became like an anthem for us...for we’d repeat it shamelessly anywhere and everywhere and to almost everyone...

Phew!
What can one say about an article that begins with digress to a completely unrelated territory?
This piece is not about boobs as you may have deemed with excited antennas all wired up...it’s about booze...and our world around it.
Boozelum and booze sound phonetically similar...hence the going off track justified!

Okies...confession time first...
How well do I know my booze before I begin to blabber about it?
Well, let me admit that I am a once in a blue moon drinker...all right all my sasuraal people who are reading this...please don’t succumb to a cultural shock...For tell me what is the more important principle to follow in life- the path of honesty or the path of abstinence...?
At least I am being honest here....!

So this piece is in dedication to all my talli friends...who love their drinks till death do them part...and god in his blessed designs has surrounded me with such high-spirited souls and what can I say...I’m only human and once in a while when I raise my hands to give up, it ends in a toast...hic, hic and cheers!

Thanks here to a dear friend who sent me an eight page email about the history of various ales which I thought could be filtered to form a basic premier for all of you night riders and party goers....

So what is alcohol exactly?
Hmm...the dictionary meaning would be something like...the drink obtained after breaking down of natural sugar of grain into CO2, ethanol and residual content...blah, blah, blah...
But since meaningful education is scarce and dictionary using an extinct phenomenon...the talli version would be... “Amrit hain ji...jisko pe ke insaan is duniya ka nahi rehta...” I am reciting the unedited versions of some of my dear drunk friends when they get so “high” that they touch the sky...others say, “Hmm...hum peete hain gham bhulane ko”... ya right and their gham being that they have to get up next day and live a life on the bed of roses till it’s party time again!

Further ahead though...some startling facts that you must know...
Like did you know that the different tastes, colours and flavours of any alcohol actually come from fruits and vegetables? Oho...why didn’t anyone tell this to my mom when she used to insist that I go on a fruit diet or gulp down that terrible concoction that she termed as vegetable soup...ughhh...? So bottom line fruits and vegetables are best for health in whatever form you guzzle them in...So thoda aur piyo....n piyo jee bhar ke;)

Whenever I go dancing or clubbing...which is tragically another equally blue moonish story (so many variations of blue around me...hmmm)
Anyways, whenever I do do that...dancing that is...I sometimes like my little shot of vodka to get my feet rolling on the dance floor, with a wilful and reckless I-care-a-damn-attitude...
Well, it so appears that this is not a character defect but that there’s an explanation for it...a rocket science type of a justification! The kick comes when alcohol is absorbed into the blood stream directly and slows down the central nervous system...See, I knew it...this was a conspiracy of my metabolic system for my soul and intensions are always impeccably pure. The alcohol blocks some of the commands that the brain sends to the body and hence reflexes and reactions are slower...

Hmm...So that explains why I flirt like mad when I get a bit tipsy!
And also why a very famous young man of my little town decided to strip off all his clothes to do a full monty in everyone’s view and to their horror, after being superbly drenched in a mixture of whatever was at the counter, at a new year’s bash...Of course he had to be physically thrown out whether his reflexes agreed to it or not and since then the famous has turned into the infamous..!

Here’s another great fact about alcoholic consumption capacity between males and females. Much to our wonderment, among our group of friends are such couples where the wives are constantly grasping glasses after glasses of exotic preparations in their dainty fingers and the husband sits in a corner tossing down orange juice after pleasing his lady love with the order of her choice...

It is said by experts in case of alcohol consumption, the bigger you are the better it is (hmm...we don’t need any experts to tell us THAT...! What have we been doing in all those blessed years of adulthood otherwise if not discovering that yet?)
Anyways, big people have larger quantity of blood, so the alcohol they take in is more diluted as it mixes with the blood...
Well, it’s settled then...please remind me to take only thin people when I host a cocktail party next...biases be damned!
And since women are generally smaller than men, the research says that their capacities are lesser...
Now this one is a laugh my ass off kinda funda!
The expert should come and have a look at some of the women I know who begin with a beer, settle in with a vodka...take the night high with an exotic cocktail and eventually call it a closure with vine...and yet remain a size zero...hmm...zero logic there!
Maybe the expert meant small of brains or forgot about being big in the assets for the women folk, which may tantamount to the same. Women are going to kill me for this!

But for you my dear readers the next time you want to impress someone with your knowledge of human manna or the drinks of heaven...chill, it’s not just a connoisseur’s job...yours truly, that is little miss moi, is at your service here...

The risky whisky:
This is broken down into single malt and the blended whisky...
Famous brand names that must be included in that words-at-my-thumbs list: Glenfiddich, Dalmore, Port Ellen...and blended ones like Bells, Teacher’s, Whyte Mackay and Johnnie Walker...
The blended ones are softer, lighter and more palatable...
And did you know... ‘Whisky’ is produced from the grains in Scotland and ‘whiskey’ is produced in USA or Ireland? It’s after all not a spelling blunder that the whole bunch of industrial big-shot morons made who didn’t study their grammar at school properly.
And also note American whiskey is called Bourbon too!

The cognac...reminds you of that famous dialogue from the flick Chandni... “Cognac sharaab nahi hote”...well my dear Sridevi ji...cognac sharaab he hote hain...made from wines of Poitou and matured in oak casks...hmm...I wonder how it tastes though!

And then my dear, dear vodka...
Now here’s an eye opener...vodka was used as medicine and gun powder when the human race evolved...Whoa...and then we say our ancestors were brainos!
Who uses good old vodka or rather wastes it in making gun powder?
Medicine is still understandable...as would my “sick for it” friends would vouch for....

And did you know there are many types of vodkas too?
Acorn, birch, calendula, cherry, chicory, ginger hazelnut, mint, pepper, mountain ash, peppermint, raspberry ,watermelon and many more...
Ho hai...and I have just had one of these...and that too I don’t know which one...How illiterate we can be sometimes!
I better check those bottles next time and know what is going inside of me and how it would come out the next day...
No puns intended!

Then there’s gin with a boring history, not so appealing to me either in all its effervescent temptation...so I’d let it pass...
Also there, are the tequila shots too...hmm...now that is an interesting variant. When one sees a bunch of happy go lucky friends...sprinkling salt on their knuckles and holding a cut lemon in one hand with a tequila shot in the other...there is something intoxicating about the very thrill of the whole drill...some blood pumping and adrenalin rush it is! So with the word “cheers” just as a race is commenced...the high-spirited troupe takes a mouthful down of the liquor and get into a trance like state till they shake their heads to jerk in or off the kick! Phew!
Hmm...So worth a try! The tequila my dearies for you are made from the agave plant but then who cares when they create an orgasmic burning down your throat taking you to places unheard of! But on a serious note, I guess we do need to actually save those trees and plants which the environmentalists have been telling us to do from ion years if we want the revelling to go on...see I care for the ecosystem too!

So it’s been a long revealing story but then when the night is young and long, stories are bound to happen! When something goes in, the repercussions are bound o come out! How sober am I while writing this or anything else that I do...well, I never really am...always high...high on life!

The Once in a lifetime Concept...

It is said that true love happens once in a lifetime...
Equally true is perhaps the notion that this “lifetime” happens several times in a year for some...!
Food for thought...?
Hmm...I’d say it is!

Monogamy in modern day’s relations is an expectation that is bound to counter rough seas or stony patches in its path ahead, for the lines of social acceptances are widening and moralities blurring. We as a communal structure are prone to more exposure to situations undreamed of before and hence more vulnerable. Yet in the complex pairing of relationships, how much is expecting too much and how much is letting the thread of our kites be relaxed so loose that breakage is inevitable? “Once in a lifetime” then...is it possible or rational in context of a life and is once really enough? And then when in all its glory it does happen...what next? Live happily ever after?

Well, it is said we are born with certain characteristics and develop others as we saunter ahead on our journeys. The basic constitution does not change...
The roving eye would do just that...drift rootlessly like the weed...
The guarding eye would do what it is meant to...safeguard, fortify, shield and be on a constant lookout...
Yet what is meant to happen, happens...!
Can there really be a blame game and also how justified is it when we have come to a hypothesis and realization that all of a person’s emotional, physical, mental and spiritual needs cannot be justified by just one another soul?

A dear friend of mine recently commented that after 21 years of age, we all officially enter the adult bracket and after that does age really matter? Aren’t we all in the same queue? Of course he’s in his mid twenties so I laughed off the matter thinking how this sound could or imply more deeply than the fact that he just said it for the heck of it? Well, it sounded and it did...!
We all really are in the same queue....!
We face similar circumstances meant for us to go through the natural grinding process of trials, tribulations and errors...yet some of us within these confines manage to digress- go off track. Are those who do better off than those who remain stuck to the models?
Who’s to say? But they sound happier...like this yuppie twenty something proudly asserts that he has fallen “truly” in love around 8-10 times and still feels he has more to give and take! Phew!

And then there are lesser mortals who keep searching for that even single brush with love in its truest and staunchest of mush avatars, so that our quest for the soul mate is a wee bit relaxed....And when this does happen, without the cosmos conspiring against us...how drained we feel after giving and giving... yet the young man says he always has more to give? A gender difference I might like to think it as, but the fact is it’s a conceptual difference where minds work in the way that we tell them to!

Is it again the fact coming here that we are attuned to a certain set of collective societal standards and agree to them as blindly as we do with like say the matters of religion? “This is how it is supposed to be and hence it’s the only right way”. We may gape in wonder or raise fingers at those who manage to trot on this blasphemous turf...perhaps because we ourselves are not getting opportunities to do so! A case of sour grapes? It is said that strange is the logic of the human mind...we try to compromise when we are wrong and justify when someone else is!
Yes, the mind is strange and we perhaps are stranger!

Another set of questions that remain unanswered which remain on my platter as my food for thought!
For if we were single individuals unattached to any fabric of shared structures perhaps the burden would have been lesser. But since we are not just XYZ... we are ABC’s son, DEF’s father, GHI’s wife, etc...The mind continues to debate, question and justify to itself.

Relations are really Reflections!

It is said by the great Deepak Chopra again that ‘All relations are mirrors of us’. When we like or dislike a person it is because deep down the other one is a reflection of who we are or could be, whether we realize it or it remains in our subconscious domain. It is not chance acquaintances that we are talking about here...it is our love-hate relationships that we choose to carry along with us as we move ahead on the journey of our lives.

It is easier to relate to someone affable...to proclaim yes, I like him because he is humble, noble, friendly and kind. It is almost an inference or implication that I ditto these qualities within me. But how could I relate to someone who is manipulative, selfish and greedy? I maintain a strictly hate-relationship with him because I detest these qualities...so how could I be that? You can be and you are! These are the qualities that may be invoked in you if perhaps you let off your guard or get trapped in a weaker moment. Traces of it you may already have discovered in the everyday working of your life...the slight hint of manipulation you did with your spouse to make him agree for a vacation or selfishness when you carried on with your professional calls when you were more required at home. The degrees may vary and you would have to be a brave man my friend if you declare at this juncture that you are a saint and far above these pitfalls whatever the case may be!

So how do we go about in our relations?
The good ones we cherish and make conscious endeavour to let it grow and blossom. For the others we must either ignore or tune down the hatred quotient. What fun and an easy life it would be if all of us came with tuner buttons or knobs inbuilt in our system. Imagine realizing that our tone has gone higher than was called for and all we need to do is turn the tuner button slightly left and voila, the job is done. Since unfortunately god in his greater designs decided against it, it’s once again left to our own onus to do so. Let’s make a start by looking at things from the other’s perspective- the 2nd person view.

Judge and react after placing yourself in his shoes and not just shoes my friend but his skin, his environment, his upbringing and values and thereby the structuring of his definite thoughts. The burden just might be easier. If his shoes are not such an amiable idea let’s take a 3rd person view-completely neutral... me as an outsider and in this situation, evaluating pros and cons of what’s at hand...what would be my surmise for the same? Perhaps then, the hatred we feel would not be so much as we began with!

Just remember that we are just looking into mirrors and what we see is what we are or could be...so let’s not be so harsh on the other one and take it up slowl

My Date with my Stalker....

Little moments of fun extracted from everyday life, are what I live for, don’t we all?
Some moments of laughter or amusement even if they are at our expense, as long as they spread smiles...
And when I look back into the recent times many such epiphanies stand out more menacingly than the rest, bringing a dubious grin on my face and so I thought I’d share here one...

Hmm...No news here that I loooove my evening walks...a sojourn into ultimate peace and oneness with myself and my surroundings...
However, of late I had a stalker...
I mean if he was worth any mettle he would have been glorified here for having the guts and good taste to do so...but since he was not...I thought let me slaughter him here with my words at least...

So this guy for two days kind of followed me in his white Santro car with an outstation number and outlandishly tinted glasses of the windows...He would stop the car on the left side of the road just a few steps ahead of me (I would have told you precisely how many yards or metres or whatever ahead...but I have more than once established my affinity with numbers...so I’d let it pass lest it baffles you more than I already do). Ok so where were we...right, he would halt his car and wait for me to cross over and then within minutes repeat the drill, much to my annoyance...Matlab ki I know I have a pretty face why waste time on the rear view phir...I knew it then and there that the guy was dumb...!

Still, I thought why to take pangas and let it pass...I crossed over to the right side of the street to avoid him but it did not deter the nut-head and after 5-6 times of doing this obnoxious act, I guess better things called on him and he decided to let go...Wonder if he read my earlier blog on ‘let go’ and hence got motivated...Anyways, the next day too he re-acted the audacity.

So I did what most sensible and coy housewives would do after returning home...told my dearly beloved. And he did what most senseless and lazy husbands would do...told me stop going for the walks...Thankfully he added there- ‘till I return from my tour’ or else he would have not been able to go to that one getting me all volcanic. I reflected upon his brilliant solution... should I wait for his return? I mean in all probability he would not be tearing his shirt, with a Sunny Deol yell of ‘kutte kamine’ and next tear the entrails of that poor soul...
Hmm...So I thought it was time for some girl power to surface...ok, ok...some woman power to be stirred into me!
Enough of ‘abla’ naari syndrome...it had to be the ‘able’ naari now...

So a feisty me on last Sunday evening decided to adorn the garbs of Jhansi ke raani...well, not literally of course...more like Kanpur ke raani...and started off with all my grit to teach the bugger a lesson. I decided to take my umbrella along just in case I might desire to get wild and violent...not like you think, so please rest your naughty minds.

So in one hand I had my iPod with earphones plugged in, in the second I had my mobile phone and please don’t ask me how I managed to hold on to the umbrella...some things are so complicated that they are better left unsaid...

And I walked...
And walked...
And walked...
Chidwaane waale log tayyar the but cheedne waale he nahi aaye....

Hmm...Very anti climax-tic I know...
But the guy just went whoosh...
And I with my army of weapons and freshly rehearsed and improvised stock of abuses had no choice but to return with a long face...Imagine how kings felt when they returned empty handed from the battle fields...bina maar dhad ke...!
I so wanted to show some beauty, brains and brawns to him...maybe even maaro that dialogue... “Aapke ghar mein ma behen nahi hain kya?”...just to see if it really works in real life...
But alas! Dil ke armaan aansoon mein beh gaye....!
Probably he realized that third time/day is not lucky or the cosmos conspired to let my malicious vibrations reach to him and made him quit Kanpur ke dharti...

Whatever...no stunts and actions transpired, so I all perspired and returned home completely fired....Bad rhymes, good sentiment expression! So the able naari was told to settle down and wait for another opportune moment...
Until she is back again...happy and safe stalking and being stalked to all of you!

Good Friendships!

In life we live in big bubbles of sorts...said a dear friend of mine when he was consoling me recently with life’s gyan. So it is, I reflected! When one of it bursts, we latch on to another...we are tuned to look for cosy zones to snug up to, in regardless of testing them first if they are for real or just with us in transition. So pop goes one bubble and we search or create other ones in belief that these might not burst.

Well, I am talking of a 360 degrees turn in my opinion...for having just a couple of days before written my guts out on bad friendships...it is amazing that I have discovered or realized all over again- great ones are around still, to more than make up. Someone once said I was a bundle of contradictions...seems like I am hell bent on proving it right.

If one trust gets broken somewhere...god opens other windows and doors for you to explore...This was not said by any wise friend...it has been repeated and used and misused so many times everywhere that the statement has lost its import...yet it has the whole grain of truth! Just as there are people out there to take advantage so are also human specimens that add colour and meaning...They provide friendships that you may see yourself getting old with...no detouring to love here, just a sauntering into the private zones of layers of you and help you unfold.

And great friendships are just that-a great exhilarating high!
They make you live life queen or king size because you know someone is there to cater to your whims and fancies. You know these friends would side by you whether you break down and cry or rot and wry. You keep the other fit by taking him or her on perpetual rides up the gum tree-the famous chane ka jhaadh, by constant realizing and appreciating what the other has to offer! They make you forget you had been glum or dumb...or even numb to such overtures...They bring peace to your mind that is otherwise so used to wandering, that this breather comes like a whiff of fresh air...that uplifts you in more than one ways!
See...healthy for the body and mind! Wonder why doctors don’t prescribe it to patients, especially depressed souls?

Hmm...How the body you may ask? Well, good friends make you laugh, not just your blues away but also lead to blood flow. “Hum khoon badhate hain” should be the slogan of friendship sites...and imagine the fitness level when all the facial expressions get involved in constant jabbering and smiling...the arms keep getting extended for hugs that we never get enough of...the rushing of blood... and the keeping us on our toes so that when there is the need for a friend to walk in, we may not be found lacking!

Good friendships are just that-too good!
May we all find our friendships to live with and die for!
Amen!

Bad Frienships!

Relationships are great boosters and bummers...
They help you bloom and can cause you to wither...
Whom we choose to walk by our side as we traverse life, actually determines our quantum of peace and content.

It is said we can’t choose our relations...we are born with them and cling along regardless of how well or otherwise we gel or how mutually beneficial is the association. But then we can choose our friends-people who stick with us through thick and thin or so we hope!
I beg to differ...we don’t choose nothing...!
It’s all a bloody crap...!
It is ‘they’ who choose us! Victims never walk up to the hunters to be slaughtered...we are caught at our unawares!

We may want to be with a chalked out set of people... give our all in such relationships and give, give, give...till the point we begin to feel drained and yet remain wanting for some spark of a return gesture. It’s not that we conspire friendships for give-and-take...it’s not the quantity or frequency of communication either that we look out for...it’s the quality of association being meaningful on both sides. We want, crave and pine to have friends like on the series ‘Friends’...but then it’s all just wishful thinking...!
If you are lucky, true friendship glows on you wetting you in pure ecstasy like manna from the sky... and if not, which is generally the case, you continue to degrade and rot under the false shade of solace...and by the time you realize it, the damage is already done!

Bad friendships are just that- BAD
For your body, mind and soul!
Like bad love jeopardises your chances of ever falling upon the right guy to fall in love with...bad friends block your chances of experimenting with the truth that might be there.
They leave you in perpetual doubts when u suspect intensions and jump to insane conclusions even in cases of prospects which could materialize in helping you find a soul mate.
They make your premises shaky...they cramp you with so much of themselves that perhaps you feel there’s not much in you that anyone out there would be interested in!

We all go through bad friendships whether we are strong enough to admit or not...Yes, it needs an admission for in worst cases these are the addictive ones, like drugs...giving you the short lived highs but drop you down with a ‘thud’ in the worst of dumps.

Get rid of them...uproot them...remove all traces and signs of their existence...block all doors that may tempt you to return for once you give in, it’s pretty much a give up. Realize your worth and to what lows there is a possibility of that ‘friend’ falling to or taking you to. It is said we invite troubles...yes, we do! We are humans...I may have a “use me” tag attached to me or bloody engraved on my forehead...Does that reduce your guilt of having used me? I may also have an expression that says ‘kill me’ because I don’t want to go on facing deception again and again...Have the balls my friend now to strangulate me...!
Ah...Don’t let the human laws deter you...when you disregard the laws of basic humanity and what bloody shit can the law making society do to you and the likes anyways!

Yup, bad friendships are bad...they go deep in you when you are least aware and just when you begin to realize it’s depth...it goes whoosh...leaving a vacuum there!
Let’s not create more black holes...let’s be more cautious of whom we let in despite the continuous knock at our doors!

Let Go!

This must be shared with my readers for there’s such a revelation in this one that it’s almost like a catharsis of sorts...

It comes from Deepak Chopra, the famous author and spiritual guide. He says that the greatest preaching of the world comes from just two words... “Let go”!

Yes, just these two!

Take in a deep breath and hold on to it.

Keep holding on and on and on, till it becomes impossible to keep it inside any longer and you feel constrained and suffocated. In a while you have no option left but the let go and breathe out. You find that once you do that, it returns to you with greater intensity than before and also relieves you of the feeling that you were about to burst.

We all hold on to our grudges, relations and disappointments allowing them to go within and create a negative abode. We let it harbour and co-exist inside creating almost a life for itself in our inner recesses. Whereas these negativities prey upon us slowly and surely...they rot within till we succumb body and mind to it or decide it’s time to let go. When we have to do it sooner or later, why not sooner and spare ourselves the agony of bearing it along.

In school days there used to be a famous saying that all of us liked to quote whenever we were called to rise to the occasion to give an elevated counsel to someone in need...and the needy here was always one who was smitten and broken in the game of love. We always consoled with the words... “If you love someone set them free...if he comes back he is yours, if he does not...he never was”.

With what child-like innocence we carried forward this advice almost like a legacy, not realizing its true import. If we want to feel truly unrestrained, more than just in the movement of our limbs...we have to let go and set free...because that’s the only way...the happy way to be!

The What-if Man...

(This is an excerpt from a magazine article written by a famous female writer Tishani Doshi. I found the piece truly amazing and an echo of my own sentiment...gawsh, how I wish I had written it! Anyways, I share it here and hope it stirs you too...kudos to the thought!)

Male female relationships are circumscribed by expectations and slotted into categories- boyfriend, father, brother, friend. But some elude this classification and testify to the pleasure of the detour. These bonds flirt on the lines between formality and intimacy....And yet these are often men that we still want despite it all...

“In recent years I have come to realize that it’s impossible and a little unfair to expect one man to fulfil all your intellectual, emotional and sexual needs. Once you get your head around this idea and let go of the monochromatic, either-or vision of the world, you begin to see a whole grey spectrum out there. The relationships that are most important to me now are those that defy category or logic. I call them my what-if men. What if he weren’t married? What if he lived in the same city? What if he weren’t ultra religious or didn’t do drugs or loved dogs? The range of the what-if man is truly awesome.

A relationship with a what-if man is a nurturing one, it may be fleeting or permanent, but it is nothing like the cliché of an affair, which is hot and hurried and poof! Love and sexual tension may hover over the periphery, but for it to really work, certain boundaries have to be maintained- that’s right, no sex because physical intimacy puts a spin on things and slides it into murky territory.

You may hold hands with your what-if man or not. You may unburden your darkest secrets and fears or not. You may consider each other as your ‘back up’ or not. The joy is in recognizing something special in another human being, in making that connection regardless of timing and circumstances, and learning how to draw fire from it.

My favourite what-if man is 40 years older than me: a demigod in his own country, a poet and a political hero. We meet once in a year, if we are lucky; eat spaghetti alle vongale and drink copious amount of wine. We talk about ways of living and share histories. When people look at us, undoubtedly they’re thinking, what’s going on there? But it is nothing inappropriate or sleazy. It’s just what-if. What if he were younger or I older? We meet, we talk, we return to our lives, and we carry the other person with us.

The great beauty in what-if is that you never take anything for granted because there is no ownership or expectation. It enjoys a longevity that other relationships can’t sustain and it exists in continuity always shifting and moving to accommodate both your worlds. The what-if man represents possibility, yearning. His place is never fixed. If you know what you want and what you are willing to allow, it’s worth having a what-if man or two or three in your life; like manna straight from the skies.

The American Slang...

Let’s face it: America and Americans have done a lot for us...

Look at the vanishing clothes, the shifting culture, the independent youth, the empowerment of the single woman, the concept of old age homes-for the better or the worse and many other instances of urbanization that we owe to them.

However, if anyone wants to be urban chic in a jiffy, jump on to their slang bandwagon and there you may get entry to the most upstage circles. In a recent survey it was found that the quality most youngsters look for in their partners is the ability to speak in English, coming in line or at par with good looks. Hmm....impressive! So that’s why these English speaking schools do so well in India!

Anyways, I recently came across a book- more like a dictionary on the American slangs ‘From Flappers to Rappers’ and though at first glance I was put off with the idea that who in god’s name would like to read a thick, dumb book on slangs...but like always happens, upon deeper introspection it managed to get my attention for it was simply amusing and often bordering on the verge of being hilariously ridiculous. I have hand-picked some of these which managed to make me twit.

Ok, so next time you want to insult your peers with something that they won’t understand...call them...GONUS-the dim wit and all their talks can be termed as HOKUM or BALOONEY which in layman’s terms would simply mean nonsense...hehe...And this gets better... If he catches the joke slowly he is simply BONG. If he talks too much he’s a BAGPIPE and if he’s out of the ordinary in terms of good or bad, he’s a LALAPALOOSA...wow, sounds so cool, right? The Americans call the effeminate young man a COOKIE or a CREAM PUFF...hmm, how delectably thought provoking and an unpopular girl would be a ROACH...how disgustingly metaphorical!

One’s girlfriend may be addressed as his PUMPKIN...hello! Have u guys ever seen what a pumpkin looks like? I mean...kuch bhi bol doge yaar! BLAAH- it’s just no good...But then I like the term CUDDLE COOTIE- a young man who takes a girl for a ride...I like it specially coz there are so many of such dumb a@# around...you cuddle cooties, sudhar jao! These guys believe in the dictate of TOSS AND HIKE- to reject one girl and pursue another...hmm...aren’t the figurative implications of these terms amazingly outlandish?

A woman over the age of 30 is ROCK OF AGES...sadly I am an aged rock too...boo hoo! And a good looking boy is a PASHPIE or a DUCKY!

A ducky.....oh what fun to call one a ducky...! And if my dearies, you do not find these terms as laughable as I do...u can always tell me to CUT THE GAS...means not switch off the gas cylinder...but switch off my mouth...or just simply ask me TO TAKE THE AIR...means just leave. But as I know and believe that you would not... I continue with my empty talk or more appropriately and topically stated BOOGWASH...till you find it to be DITZEK- something funny.

I am hell bent on giving you something SWELL and SWANKY...don’t scratch your naughty heads on this one coz it just means something very good. If you still persist in saying RHATZ to infer how disappointing...hear this one...If someone comes up to you and says your PINKY IS OUT OF JAIL... my friend you may never know a Pinky or have the need to know one...it just means that your slip is showing and so proper up! Oh come on...don’t be such a POOPER or WET BLANKET- don’t be a killjoy and gimme a grin, a guffaw or at least a smile. I had to go through 133 pages to select these especially for you...couldn’t bear to go through the rest of the 233 pages...I am human too!

So being my SCOOCH-my buddy and also SQUISHY- forgetful (of the sin I have committed here of making you go through this bullshit)...just tell me to BOOT IT BABY...yup, it’s again not what you think...god bless your dirty mind...it just means...way to go! I guess this has been enough for both you and me...before it becomes a PISSER – a disappointing experience, I would just MELT-disappear...or hmm...let me just HANG IT EASY-see you later!

The Monkey and the Dog!

Coming back home from my evening walk, I was halted on my path after witnessing a strange sight. A handful of people stood almost in a circle, theatrically with heads turned up towards the branches of a huge peepal tree.

As if by natural human curiosity, I also looked up wanting to know what was so intriguing. Up above were a couple of langoors and down below a couple of street dogs...

Ah! The same old menacing monkeys rising proud as stumbling blocks on my path and tumbling thoughts! But then something in their antics made me quite enjoy the break that I had taken in my sojourn.

The monkeys had slyly come down from their turf challenging the dogs to guard their home ground. These long tailed animals moved ahead with cautious steps and the most watchful eyes while the whimpering doggies kept a sideways glance at these fellas, as though pretending that they weren’t interested in these kiddish games. But the monkeys were not born yesterday either. They knew it was a trick and showed their teeth in a scowl. The dogs retaliated in an angry growl.

Wow! How human like this one! No wonder we are said to evolve from these monkeys and dogs are our best friends...because we behave so much like them. The monkeys had absolutely no intension of conquering the marked territory of the dogs...they cared a damn. For them this was just a tease...rising out of boredom or a fanatic bid to prove their might or simply the exhilarating thrill of challenging the mighty! The dogs knew that the monkeys don’t want their land...their homes were elsewhere upon the branches. But big bloated egos and a thunderous bark to boot had brought in the audacity to play heroes. The monkeys took a step too close and whoosh the chase began as the former leapt from trunk to trunk to go beyond reach and the latter gave its main and might to teach the cowards a lesson.

The monkeys went up the tree, chattering in loud obvious humour and pleasure of having fooled the dogs below...oblivion to the fact that they were the timid ones who ran off from the battlefield. They swung about on the branches...as though mouthing an unspoken challenge... “now jump doggies...you were trying to be tigers in your home front...get to our homes and see what we do to you”.

The dogs below moved with smug satisfaction thinking they have affrighted the enemy and proclaimed their grit and guts. Not realizing that even a rat is the king of his own hole.

And so with little battles likes these...fought and won...and having had the fun...the creatures of the world...big and small...reversing roles of being meek and the gutsy...continue to live on....!

Of Bags and Boots...

Hmm…Is there anything more precious to a woman’s heart than bags and boots? Hey I didn’t ask the men here…for they would have a volley of options…Ask a woman and she would readily comply with my hypothesis which should actually be backed by scientific observations and universal conclusions. By bags I mean those lovely complimentary tit bits and sometimes even the overalls that adorn our delicate shoulders and miniatures that get clasped in the tender grip of our palms or rather let’s say we add to their beauty…the sling bag, the clutch, the tote, the purse, the carrier and many other manifestations of this quintessential necessity for the fairer sex. And by boots please take into account the flats to the wedges and pumps, the tie-ups to the stilettos, the strappy bare-alls to the belle, high end boots to slip-ons and sandals and limitless other avatars. We love to boot and boot up.

I noticed the first signs of this fetish behavior, years ago, when I was walking across a show window in the busy, buzzing lanes of a market and a beautiful specimen of human creation in wedge heels and crocodile skin black leather, with just about the right amount of embellishments to save it from being termed as ‘over the top’, stared right across at me in the most longing of a glance that said, “Pick me up, hey pick me up”. And surely as magnanimous as I am with poor souls/soles that need my timely assistance, I obliged, causing my face to break into a big smile and my little bounty into a big hole. But the possession of that wonderful pair of sandals to stylishly complete the extreme tip of my body with a sleek edge was an experience of unadulterated satisfaction, almost a catharsis of sorts!

So there began my love affair with shoes, that time and indulgence seemed to have blossomed to its full splendor. God in his great designs of mischief has bestowed me with soft, beautiful, fair and shapely hands and feet (never mind his negligence in doing so with the rest of the body)…so that whenever I try something on my feet, it conspiringly looks stunning, if it is even remotely worth its mettle. So I am left helpless with no alternative but to pick it up from the shelf. Most pieces practically scream at me that we were made for each other as the lyrics of this song come alive in the backdrop…“hum bane tum bane ek duje ke liye” …and when fewer men substitute in doing so instead, you just have to succumb!
Thereby I have always had just a drawer full of meticulously picked exclusive bargains, and I deliberately never allowed that space to be enlarged for fear of immoderation that I may never be able to resist.

Although in all fairness, maybe extravagance and age…oops…I mean maturity, has brought about a steadiness and thankfully the wisdom to buy now only that which is a must-have only by normal human standards or qualifies in the category of love at first sight. I still swoon and get floored by the sections that herald “new arrivals” or “50% discount” but then prudence helps me walk down the aisle without a sheepish stance. I have now managed to withstand temptation after realizing I have three pairs each of black, white, bronze, silver and beige and with God as my witness, let me assert here that they suffice even in the biggest of crisis. (See I don’t go about matching my garbs with all variants of colors…I am a selective and sensible buyer despite all the impression that I have provided herewith). I have my little treasure in stones and swaroskis, in ethnic and modern variants, in suede and jute, in straps and shoes and of all sized heels possible. Hence the malady for now is under control and thankfully my drawer space reminds me to keep things in check for I would rather die than stuff beastly all these little wonders in a cramped up space of suffocation.

Hmm…and coming to purses…imagine the striking apparel, the appropriately used accessories, the perfectly suited stilettos and hairdo that charms with every lock…yet hands so bare and open, with nothing to hold on to…tch, tch and sob, sob. What a tragic waste!

And hence the relevance of the ladies purse! Imagine again guys, your little Blackberry and how it serves by giving you the world in your palm! Such is the purse for us…we can never dream or dare to leave our humble abodes without them. So as an obligation upon all you guys who always wanted a sneak preview of ‘what IS in our bags’, here’s a guided tour. Depending upon the size (for my dear friend, anywhere and everywhere size does matter), it can carry for us all our lethal weapons of mass destruction to our first aid kits of self appraisal, to our emergency relief tokens, to our bare essentials- the license (driving waala yaar, not license to kill), the cards (invitation waale nahi oye, the credit cards, membership cards, etc), the make up relievers, the cell phone, the hair brush, the pads and pens, the wipes and cleansers, the errands reminder list, medicines to pop, precautions if we get to hop and even technical gadgets like the I-pod or the camera…not to mention loads of dough to keep us going on and on and on. Hence the purse is just not functional, it is the very prop upholding our exterior demeanor of impeccable perfection and sanity.

Hence my dearies, it is equally crucial to stock up these bags in all shapes, sizes and utilities (does it strike a similarity with the guys we have in our lives…mmm…purely coincidental and unintentional). So whether it is branded or local…made from genuine leather or faux off-the-street style, we must have them all to match up to us on all occasions.

So next time when you want to score big time with us, please don’t attempt to open your mouths…just open your benevolence and take us shopping for bags and boots…and maybe, just maybe you may not go wrong this time!