11 July, 2009
Relations are really Reflections!
It is said by the great Deepak Chopra again that ‘All relations are mirrors of us’. When we like or dislike a person it is because deep down the other one is a reflection of who we are or could be, whether we realize it or it remains in our subconscious domain. It is not chance acquaintances that we are talking about here...it is our love-hate relationships that we choose to carry along with us as we move ahead on the journey of our lives.
It is easier to relate to someone affable...to proclaim yes, I like him because he is humble, noble, friendly and kind. It is almost an inference or implication that I ditto these qualities within me. But how could I relate to someone who is manipulative, selfish and greedy? I maintain a strictly hate-relationship with him because I detest these qualities...so how could I be that? You can be and you are! These are the qualities that may be invoked in you if perhaps you let off your guard or get trapped in a weaker moment. Traces of it you may already have discovered in the everyday working of your life...the slight hint of manipulation you did with your spouse to make him agree for a vacation or selfishness when you carried on with your professional calls when you were more required at home. The degrees may vary and you would have to be a brave man my friend if you declare at this juncture that you are a saint and far above these pitfalls whatever the case may be!
So how do we go about in our relations?
The good ones we cherish and make conscious endeavour to let it grow and blossom. For the others we must either ignore or tune down the hatred quotient. What fun and an easy life it would be if all of us came with tuner buttons or knobs inbuilt in our system. Imagine realizing that our tone has gone higher than was called for and all we need to do is turn the tuner button slightly left and voila, the job is done. Since unfortunately god in his greater designs decided against it, it’s once again left to our own onus to do so. Let’s make a start by looking at things from the other’s perspective- the 2nd person view.
Judge and react after placing yourself in his shoes and not just shoes my friend but his skin, his environment, his upbringing and values and thereby the structuring of his definite thoughts. The burden just might be easier. If his shoes are not such an amiable idea let’s take a 3rd person view-completely neutral... me as an outsider and in this situation, evaluating pros and cons of what’s at hand...what would be my surmise for the same? Perhaps then, the hatred we feel would not be so much as we began with!
Just remember that we are just looking into mirrors and what we see is what we are or could be...so let’s not be so harsh on the other one and take it up slowl