Amazing people who make me go on n on n on:)

19 July, 2009

We all are Little Bags of Contradictions!


Confess, confess and cleanse...
I certainly am a big bag of contradictions!
In fact such is my state that most of the times I amaze myself only, by remaining stuck in self created bafflements. I demand for things I can’t supply. I call myself independent and within moments crave for protective hands to hold me. I declare I am strong but the slightest hint of hurt gets me in an inner turmoil, never mind how I project ‘me’ to the world. It’s not just the difference between saying one thing and meaning or showing another. It is really like the two faces of the coin with us all. So when we flip the coin up, we should be prepared that either side could land on our palm. This however, leaves us in a perpetual state of doubt of who we really are or what we really want. Also then as such, we can’t raise fingers at others...for what we can’t fathom, how would they be able to unravel it?

Upon deeper thought, no one can really live on the verge of extremes forever and God made us in his notorious designs of mind boggling paradoxes. Aren’t the most confident of souls ever confused? The most morality stricken ever detoured? The degrees and frequency may vary but basic intrinsic human nature tends to oscillate...We like being pendulums and the steadiness of remaining still in the centre almost brings our clock to a standstill. We also don’t like to be in one periphery for too long. Hence the paradigm shifts keep the life moving by adding that zing.

So, much as you may hate the predicament, inconsistencies are not always negative!
For each time you contradict yourself, you know a little more about you- good or bad. It leads you to questioning about what is it that you really are seeking here...time to see the mirror and reflect.
At other times when you contradict, you are perhaps only looking for a validation. It is a desire for the assertion of that side to you, which you want to hear of or pine for by this so called 'contradiction'. It may also often be just a help call to others to lift you out from the rut, by putting you on the fringe where you really should be, for otherwise you tend to dilly dally the analysis living in the fear of arriving at it or just not strong enough to do it by yourself.

You may also negate or challenge just for the heck of it...for lack of anything better to do, and it provides you an adrenalin rush to get into argumentative mode with yourself or others. You seek to create a mystery around you, letting others hang on to your every word and dare not take you for granted. For when they do, you get the chance to spin a complete 360 degrees and get to watch with sinful pleasure, the disbelief on their countenances. Who’s to say the high from this drill is any lesser than that provided by the ales at the counter of a bar or less morally wrong for that matter?

Also within all contradictions of persons or their speeches lie the subtle hints as to their actual inclinations. It needs no special discerning eye to gauge that...just an empathetic and open heart. No matter how confused we say we are or make others feel it, deep down we know our true selves and what we are actually capable of...
Mystery adds the spice to our existence, but an extra dosage of spices can get you to burn your tongue. It is said more battles are lost due to indecisiveness than by lack of action!

So contradict where you can’t help but conclude where you can!
Spin where it is conducive, but be steady where it may get injurious!
Accept that idea that both exist in you taking you to your redemption...
Reject the notion that by sticking fiercely to one you may reach there without guilt!
Don't be afraid of contradictions, learn to live and be at peace with them!
Let’s celebrate our flaws and not hide them...
Welcome confusion for a change and not pretend to know it all...
Let’s be a little more us, than striving to be what we deem we should!

11 comments:

Rahul Khatri said...

nice on !!..:)....seems aaj kal dimaag ke ghode bahot daud rahe hain!!...lot of stuff coming frm ur end these days...keep thinking and make others thinking..he he!!:)

|| Peace ||

suruchi said...

Yup...Rahul...shukar karo dimaag ke ghode he daud rahe hain...gadhe nahi like they usually do:)
And I have deliberately kept the length of it short so that I don't scare u off it...hehe...
See....how magnanimous and absolutely fabulous and etc, etc, I am!:)

Rahul Khatri said...

oh, if thats the case, I'll have to thank u yaar, I am happy to know that!!..it was a nice one but, must say...but beech mein u know...I was lost as if things were goin round and round, and ultimately by the time I cud fully understand, it was the end...ha ha...and I think next tym better I keep dictionary alongwith yaar...at times aapki language bahot bhaari ho jaati hai...actually sometimes it happens that words are familiar but if u donno exact meaning n all, u cannot understand the depth of the words!!

neways, thats my prob ji, u keep up ur gud work, and I still insist, u can be a fab writer!!

|| Om Shanti ||

suruchi said...

:( Rahul ji...thank u for ur uchch vichaar:
"I was lost as if things were goin round and round, and ultimately by the time I cud fully understand, it was the end...ha ha":)
mere he blog pe mere he tauheen...;)
hehe...okies, next time dictionary leke baithna....n round n round na ho is liye sit in a nice corner n read...:)mazaaaaaaaak hain:)

waise end mein "fab writer" bola so yes, "shaanti shaanti" hehe...
always look forward to your comments:)

Sudhir Kekre said...

great posts suruchi. reading after a long time. i was on a self imposed hiatus. keep them coming.

suruchi said...

Hey Sudhir...
Glad to hear that you are back...I read about the self imposed hiatus on your blog...
And also deeply admired your will and determination to do so...:)
Thanks for the encouragement...
Let's keep blogging now:)

Anonymous said...

More on the contradictions.....read this....

1. Accept yourself, but expect more of yourself.
2. Keep an empty shelf, and keep a junk drawer.
3. Take yourself less seriously—and take yourself more seriously.
4. Use your time efficiently, yet make time to play, to wander, to read at whim, to fail.
5. Think about yourself so you can forget yourself.
6. The days are long, but the years are short.

Often, the search for happiness means understanding both sides of the contradiction.

Take, for example, Item #1 above. W. H. Auden articulates beautifully this tension: “Between the ages of twenty and forty we are engaged in the process of discovering who we are, which involves learning the difference between accidental limitations which it is our duty to outgrow and the necessary limitations of our nature beyond which we cannot trespass with impunity.”

suruchi said...

Thanks A...though most of what u say makes beautiful poetic sense...but knowing the duh!duh! me:) I think I just got more confused...haha
Kidding...thanks for doing my job in a much better way...expressing thoughts so truly:)

Anonymous said...

Hammm... Here comes the Gyaani Dhyaani Suru... but true... I 100 % agree with you... Most of the time we pretend being something or the other rather than being our true selves...
Naveen

Anonymous said...

V contradict not deliberate - coz we r uncomfortable so its more a sub conscious move I believe. If one tends to evaluate actions over longer periods of time - Johari window - our own personality can be deciphered feel so

But yeah shld never fake or morphe ourself - being transparent n honest helps always :)
-vemuri

suruchi said...

hi sri...ya most of the contradictions are unconscious...but then the moment we blurt out something opposite to what we said earlier...it is a big bafflement...it makes us feel stupid...and by realizing that perhaps i am not the only one who goes through this dumb churning within...it helps!we really need to be more honest with ourselves first than anyone else:)

naveen,gyaani dhaani mein kahan yaar...aap log ho...before the poetry u write this is like child's play...but then thanks for agreeing...so glad at least all of us are true to each other:)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...