19 July, 2009
We all are Little Bags of Contradictions!
Confess, confess and cleanse...
I certainly am a big bag of contradictions!
In fact such is my state that most of the times I amaze myself only, by remaining stuck in self created bafflements. I demand for things I can’t supply. I call myself independent and within moments crave for protective hands to hold me. I declare I am strong but the slightest hint of hurt gets me in an inner turmoil, never mind how I project ‘me’ to the world. It’s not just the difference between saying one thing and meaning or showing another. It is really like the two faces of the coin with us all. So when we flip the coin up, we should be prepared that either side could land on our palm. This however, leaves us in a perpetual state of doubt of who we really are or what we really want. Also then as such, we can’t raise fingers at others...for what we can’t fathom, how would they be able to unravel it?
Upon deeper thought, no one can really live on the verge of extremes forever and God made us in his notorious designs of mind boggling paradoxes. Aren’t the most confident of souls ever confused? The most morality stricken ever detoured? The degrees and frequency may vary but basic intrinsic human nature tends to oscillate...We like being pendulums and the steadiness of remaining still in the centre almost brings our clock to a standstill. We also don’t like to be in one periphery for too long. Hence the paradigm shifts keep the life moving by adding that zing.
So, much as you may hate the predicament, inconsistencies are not always negative!
For each time you contradict yourself, you know a little more about you- good or bad. It leads you to questioning about what is it that you really are seeking here...time to see the mirror and reflect.
At other times when you contradict, you are perhaps only looking for a validation. It is a desire for the assertion of that side to you, which you want to hear of or pine for by this so called 'contradiction'. It may also often be just a help call to others to lift you out from the rut, by putting you on the fringe where you really should be, for otherwise you tend to dilly dally the analysis living in the fear of arriving at it or just not strong enough to do it by yourself.
You may also negate or challenge just for the heck of it...for lack of anything better to do, and it provides you an adrenalin rush to get into argumentative mode with yourself or others. You seek to create a mystery around you, letting others hang on to your every word and dare not take you for granted. For when they do, you get the chance to spin a complete 360 degrees and get to watch with sinful pleasure, the disbelief on their countenances. Who’s to say the high from this drill is any lesser than that provided by the ales at the counter of a bar or less morally wrong for that matter?
Also within all contradictions of persons or their speeches lie the subtle hints as to their actual inclinations. It needs no special discerning eye to gauge that...just an empathetic and open heart. No matter how confused we say we are or make others feel it, deep down we know our true selves and what we are actually capable of...
Mystery adds the spice to our existence, but an extra dosage of spices can get you to burn your tongue. It is said more battles are lost due to indecisiveness than by lack of action!
So contradict where you can’t help but conclude where you can!
Spin where it is conducive, but be steady where it may get injurious!
Accept that idea that both exist in you taking you to your redemption...
Reject the notion that by sticking fiercely to one you may reach there without guilt!
Don't be afraid of contradictions, learn to live and be at peace with them!
Let’s celebrate our flaws and not hide them...
Welcome confusion for a change and not pretend to know it all...
Let’s be a little more us, than striving to be what we deem we should!