11 July, 2009
The Once in a lifetime Concept...
It is said that true love happens once in a lifetime...
Equally true is perhaps the notion that this “lifetime” happens several times in a year for some...!
Food for thought...?
Hmm...I’d say it is!
Monogamy in modern day’s relations is an expectation that is bound to counter rough seas or stony patches in its path ahead, for the lines of social acceptances are widening and moralities blurring. We as a communal structure are prone to more exposure to situations undreamed of before and hence more vulnerable. Yet in the complex pairing of relationships, how much is expecting too much and how much is letting the thread of our kites be relaxed so loose that breakage is inevitable? “Once in a lifetime” then...is it possible or rational in context of a life and is once really enough? And then when in all its glory it does happen...what next? Live happily ever after?
Well, it is said we are born with certain characteristics and develop others as we saunter ahead on our journeys. The basic constitution does not change...
The roving eye would do just that...drift rootlessly like the weed...
The guarding eye would do what it is meant to...safeguard, fortify, shield and be on a constant lookout...
Yet what is meant to happen, happens...!
Can there really be a blame game and also how justified is it when we have come to a hypothesis and realization that all of a person’s emotional, physical, mental and spiritual needs cannot be justified by just one another soul?
A dear friend of mine recently commented that after 21 years of age, we all officially enter the adult bracket and after that does age really matter? Aren’t we all in the same queue? Of course he’s in his mid twenties so I laughed off the matter thinking how this sound could or imply more deeply than the fact that he just said it for the heck of it? Well, it sounded and it did...!
We all really are in the same queue....!
We face similar circumstances meant for us to go through the natural grinding process of trials, tribulations and errors...yet some of us within these confines manage to digress- go off track. Are those who do better off than those who remain stuck to the models?
Who’s to say? But they sound happier...like this yuppie twenty something proudly asserts that he has fallen “truly” in love around 8-10 times and still feels he has more to give and take! Phew!
And then there are lesser mortals who keep searching for that even single brush with love in its truest and staunchest of mush avatars, so that our quest for the soul mate is a wee bit relaxed....And when this does happen, without the cosmos conspiring against us...how drained we feel after giving and giving... yet the young man says he always has more to give? A gender difference I might like to think it as, but the fact is it’s a conceptual difference where minds work in the way that we tell them to!
Is it again the fact coming here that we are attuned to a certain set of collective societal standards and agree to them as blindly as we do with like say the matters of religion? “This is how it is supposed to be and hence it’s the only right way”. We may gape in wonder or raise fingers at those who manage to trot on this blasphemous turf...perhaps because we ourselves are not getting opportunities to do so! A case of sour grapes? It is said that strange is the logic of the human mind...we try to compromise when we are wrong and justify when someone else is!
Yes, the mind is strange and we perhaps are stranger!
Another set of questions that remain unanswered which remain on my platter as my food for thought!
For if we were single individuals unattached to any fabric of shared structures perhaps the burden would have been lesser. But since we are not just XYZ... we are ABC’s son, DEF’s father, GHI’s wife, etc...The mind continues to debate, question and justify to itself.