For my 'Love Being Interviewed' Instinct!

After a long time I got tagged and found something interesting to cater to my ‘love being interviewed’ instinct...
So here is my 25 point Something-on a run and all in the name of fun!

1. If you were caught cheating, would you fess up?
There is a whole lot of ‘if’ here and there’ll be a whole lot of ‘but’ there :-)


2. When was the last time you felt honestly broken?
Is there a dishonest way of being broken too?


3. Are you craving something?
You mean besides a killer figure, travelling around the world, a blog that is read by millions and a complete stress free life? Yes, and that something knows about it ;-) *feeling super smug at creating mystery*


4. If you could have one thing right now what would it?
 A peek into some brains and a control over some others! *evil laughter*


5. Would you rather have ten kids, or none?
*Aghast expression*I would rather have Maggie, Biryani, chocolates or brownies-I mean, I know it looks like I eat but spare the poor kids for god’s sake :-)


6. When was the last time you put your foot in your mouth?
Okay, this happened recently when someone I was introduced to said he was an engineer working in Accenture (a software firm) and I asked him if they made cars (remembering the car company Accent, which I presumed for some god-damn reason, used the nickname of Accent). Alright, you can LOL now! :(
  

7. Last person to see you cry?
Has to be my beloved and he’s seen me do so, so many times that even when he sees it now he often sees through :(
Besides him many others do off and on and get to hear ‘Pyaaz kaat rahe the’ or ‘cold ho gaya hain’...thank god for onions or else half the world would be stuck up in explanations.


8. What do you do when you get nervous?
I smile and try to get away or grab whoever is nearest (please don’t ask me for what).


9. Be honest, do you like people in general?
General se waale-NO, non-general se-YEEEEES


10. Whom would you like to see at your funeral?
All those who said they loved me and all those who couldn’t (But really-SEE here is an overstatement, don’t you think?)


11. Does anyone completely understand you?
Yes, but I keep challenging their understanding every now and then!


12. Have you ever made out in a bathroom?
Yes, yes, yes...for once I am so glad I am married and can answer that without being judged! :-)
  
 
13. Do you think the last person you kissed is nice?
Du-U-H! If I had not thought so, I would not have kissed him, na? Who goes around kissing people who are not nice anyways?


14. Who was your last crush?
*Checks her watch*Damn, it is not working-can’t tell you the exact hour now, can I? :D
  

15. Love or Lust?
It’s like asking brains or beauty! I always sucked at choice questions-why can’t we say we want to have and eat our pie too, when either ways it ultimately goes in the tummy? (Okay, I didn’t understand that myself)


16. Last person to slap you?
My class teacher is Class 3 for I entered the class after recess still chomping food in my mouth. (I guess, it was then I decided to be a teacher and set an example-who slaps hungry kids or even adults for that matter?) Or wait this could also be Seeya for she often gives me the Sunny Deol waala thappad when she gets all whimsical :(


17. Are you afraid of the dark?
No, andhere se nahi, andhere mein rehne se darr lagta hain*waah, waah*


18. Is there anyone you wish was still in your life?
*Smiles*


19. Do you flirt a lot?
Define ‘a lot’ :-)
  

20. Have you found a purpose to your life?
Yes, I did and then I did again and before I could decide among the two, a third one came along-I just have too many things to do and only one lifetime to do so-life sucks!


21. What is you USP?
I can crack PJ’s, I can be a good listener, I am curious, I am witty...oh wait, you asked for one- I’m genuinely nice


22. Do you believe in Love at First Sight?
Yes *moves a hand lovingly over a new pair of shoes* and no*looks doubtfully even at those professing to be “in love” after many sightings*-all love is essentially self-love.


23. What situation for you would be like ‘Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea’?
Stuck between a witty guy and my beloved...err...actually that would technically not be a ‘stuck’ situation :D


24. What is your favourite part about your body?
My skin colour (sorry for being such a racist here)-if that can be a part, the rest was all created at ‘faulty by default’ settings :(


25. What was your secret ambition as you were growing up?
I wanted to be an actress and tell in interviews that since childhood I wanted to be an actress...magar, kyonki, parantu aisa ho na saka so I manage with drama in real life:-)

Alright, this was cool-please take up the tag whoever wants to!

Have a Happy Week!

Happy in Stereotypes, are we?

What would happen if men would think like women n women began to consider the man-view of aspects in life?

Imagine a wife eyeing her man lustily from top to bottom as though a mouth-watering chocolate dripping cake with a cherry on top*and yet a promise of no calories* has been alluringly put in sight!

Imagine then the husband says ‘Not today honey, I have a headache’

Imagine again the wife saying, ‘You always have that excuse. Why in God’s name have I married you then?’

Hypothetically again...a man remembering all dates of all kinds of insane anniversaries or a woman remembering routes while driving or even parking right between two vehicles just a few feet apart.

Or cut to a restaurant where the girl orders a hearty four course meal and the guy nibbles on the salad coz he’s on a diet to attain a zero figure.

A woman who is constantly on the mobile phone *not for gossiping*attending ‘urgent’ calls or emailing and a man cribbing about it or about the fact that she has too many girls night-outs while he sits around at home waiting for her!

The woman repairing the electric mains and the man telling you how to remove the haldi ke stains from a table cloth!

Actually such predicaments are not so difficult to imagine with modern day role reversals but instead of these being sporadic episodes, what if they become the scenario at large?

Certain roles have been pre-defined to suit the genders.

I am not averse to a duo going dutch to foot a restaurant bill or the idea of women initiating sex or proposing to a guy...

But certain stereotypes look cute as they are, don’t they?

It is sweet to have someone you’ve been eyeing come across the bar to ask you if he could buy you a drink*of course in a more innovative way*

Nice to have a boy fall on his knees to propose...

With a girl doing so thoda technical locha bhi ho sakta hain na...like the skirt getting lifted or if it is a mini skirt...too much excess being proposed than is intended.

Let men do the dirty work.

Ah the world where chivalrous men open doors for their better halves or even someone else’s better half or remove their coats to cover the slightly shivering petite form of their princesses in the harsh cold wind!

Rippling muscles adorning the Greek god like male form rather than the female’s.

Where men get ready to fist a loafer’s face blue if he raises so much as an eyelid at the girl on his arm...

Where long hair in ponytails, were strictly a woman’s domain and casing, bullet-proof looking leather jackets bore a ‘men-only’ tag.

Where men pay the bills when women shop!

Where women in sexy lingerie welcome home their husbands with a surprise and they live happily ever after in the room...at least for a few hours!

Where men are treated as gods and women as queens!

Where only women keep the KarvaChauth vrat*actually no point even in women keeping it but men observing this fast is a little too Karan Johar-ish!*

It is equally nice to have the man cuddling you for comfort more often than the woman doing the same round the clock.

Having a man cry once or twice in a movie is so cute, try living with a fully grown man-like something who is a cry baby!

It is better to have a woman tying up a neck tie than watch a man do his beloved’s sari...I mean like EVERY time!

I know of a working couple who stay alone in a metropolitan city and hence as need necessitate it to be...the husband gets up every morning to polish her and the children’s shoes and iron the clothes of the kiddos and his wife before he can do his own and go to office. Without intending to be prejudiced or high headed, but sorry, it is not a very pleasing sight for me...

I would like to give certain respects and benefits to the husbands by default just as women deserve certain pampering without having to ask for it.

I remember a while ago a tag doing the rounds of ‘What you do as opposed to your gender stereotype?’

I was tagged too...but couldn’t manage to do it then.

So here I go, on how though I love the basic stereotypes I equally adore breaking the moulds...

Oxymoron to the core!

I am not a normal girl...matlab ke sab straight hain magar kahin kahin crooked turns aa jaate hain:

1. I hate gossiping n talks about maids n mothers-in-law n children put me off like an electric short circuit darkening it all.

2. I absolutely like the idea of being a single or rather sole woman in a group of men*partying of course, you dirty minds* while the other men having their wives sitting in some corners and bitching.

Too many women in sight, is not a pleasant sight for me!

3. I can handle my man looking or admiring other women...I even join him to discuss some vital statistics...er...vital issues of it.

4. I don’t mind scurrying around getting the car repaired or paying mobile bills or circling the BSNL office to get my internet connection running*many women I know refuse to do such things as they consider them to be the men’s jobs*

5. I like ‘chedo-ing’ guys...not like a tapori whistle or ‘Aata kya?’ type ke sidey remarks...but a subtle tease works super duper with me! Sometimes I feel I flirt like a guy too...now how is that possible...we’d keep it for some other time.

6. I like to pay the bill at a restaurant once in a while or take all onus of a short holiday sometimes as a treat to my man... ‘Jao tum bhi kya yaad karoge ke kiss cheez se shaadi hue hain’ types ehsaan to his being.

7. I love action movies...though not the Jackie Chan kinds...I can’t stand the sounds they emit of ho-ha-wha*from their mouths of course* when they hit someone!

It’s like unpleasant noisy love making in the room next door when you aren’t getting any in your own.

8. I love driving fast...really fast...in fact I sometimes honk the life out of a youngster who drives at a snail pace ahead of me.

An oldie doing so is fine, but for a young blood...offo...move it!

9. I would love to someday get so drunk that I get onto a table and dance*hopefully the table would not give away n neither would I in the attempt to get over it*

10. Then there is the list of what I’d do if I were a man...have multiple girlfriends...walk bare chested on a very hot day...not bother about growing eyebrows...try to get into a wrestle game at least once n where the prospects of my winning are high...or punch someone hard on the face, without hurting my fist in the bargain...ride a Harley Davidson kinda bike...

Aaa....Actually not much else...

I am happier being a woman n batting the eyelids to get all these things done somehow anyways!

So while following the stereotypes is cool...deviating from the usual is sometimes ‘cooler’...now what concerns being AC*poor joke*is very much your take to be in life!

If I were...*tagged again!*

This tag is from dear Neeraj from Masalla Lemonade...you really got me in the “what if” mode, which is anyways my permanent abode...Thank you!

If I were a Bird, I'd be a Parrot...so that I don’t miss my yappings!

If I were a Colour, I'd be Red or Black, clinging to hot people’s bodies!

If I were a Leader, I'd be Bill Clinton...I’d finally know what all EXACTLY Monica Lewinsky did!

If I were a Musical Instrument, I’d be a Piano...for besides I love its sound...I’d actually still be throwing my weight around!

If I were a Time, I'd be 12 Midnight...suits my confused personality...na idhar ke a udhar ke! And also for it’s the time when the lights go out*wink, wink*!

If I were an Electronic, I’d be a Cellphone...kept in the best of places, pressed on my right buttons and always clutched firmly*as good as a human hug* and be close to some delicious lips*you better brush though regularly*!

If I were a Watch, I'd be an Omega...due to my super revengeful attitude... ‘If you can’t own one, be one!’

If I were a Car, I'd be a Limousine...at least I’d be witness to more action within that outside;-)!

If I were an Artist, I'd be Leonardo De Vinci*though cleaner, sexier version of him and definitely not gay...like Weirdo Guy told me recently much to me OMG*...I would at least be enlightened about WTF is Monalisa smiling about!

If I were a Voice, I'd be a Singer’s!

If I were an Emotion, I'd be Contentment...for everything else follows this little fella!

If I were a Facial Expression, I'd be a Grin...what’s a smile without some teeth peeking out! Also if I were a smile...I’d be a permanent fixture on your face! :-)

If I were a Water, I'd be so Shapeless*which I already am :-(* Okay...if I were water, I’d be of the River Ganges...so even if I am dirty, I don’t need to take a bath...yiyee...yiyee! *I can’t help remember here what you said Blunt Edges...If I were a liquid, I’d be wet...lolz...by those standards then I’d be wet and wild ;-)!*

If I were a Direction, I’d be South...for I am always going down! :-(

If I were an Investor, I'd put all my money on ‘My Tumbling Thoughts to the World’...it’s destined to rise to fame! *don’t look around all puzzled at WTF am I talking...for more details read the URL link above dim head*

If I were a Kind of Weather, I’d be Winter...the cosier the better!

If I were an Item of Clothing, I’d be Sexy Lingerie*okay, okay I know ALL lingerie are anyways sexy...otherwise they’d be called Undergarments*...I’d be satiny or lacy, reveal more than hide, pop out at the best of moments, handled with so much care or just ripped apart* I hate the middle path*

If I were a Subject, I'd be English...cause that’s the only one I know and most English teachers are sexy and less weird!*hint, hint...just look at me for example*

If I were a Flower, I'd be Rose*pata hain boring choice...but I didn’t know any of the exotic names so easy pick*...always available, symbolic, living among thorns, soft, fragrant, short life, bright and tender...oh so me!

If I were a Dessert, I’d be a Chocolate...so I can smell and lick myself and still not make you feel I am creepy!

If I were a Medicine, I’d be Brufen...for firstly it is round and pink*so that should make me feel homely* and also for since I’d be a pain killer, I’d be less of a pain for others*or so you’d think*!

If I were a Body Part, I’d be Fingers...you never know what possibilities they can reach!

If I were Food, I’d be Slithery like Maggie or some Noodles...I hate to be chomped and bitten into like other edible products...just slurp me down!

If I were an Emotion, I’d be Confusion or Passion...or err...Confused Passion!

If I were a Television Programme, I’d be ‘Sex and the City’...at least then I won’t have to force people to mouth that I am sex-y!

If I were a Word, I’d be 'Yes'!

If I were a Fragrance, I’d be Channel No.5...out of reach, most desired and alluring...would also perhaps get to know what’s all that fuss about it!

If I were a Sound, I’d be Awwww!

If I were a Life, I'd be Princess Diana’s...been there, done that...and looked like a million bucks while doing it!

If I were a Place, I’d be Goa...I sooooooooooooooo love it!

If I were an Actress, I’d be Marilyn Manroe...I always wanted to know how it feels to have your dress rise high, while standing over an air vent and shy coyly as though to say ‘OMG...I never realized this would happen!”...ya right...@#$%

If I were a State, I’d be Dreamy!

& finally

If I were a Missing Thing in world, I'd be My Life in School...Boo hoo...someone gimme back my teens...guys in their teens these days are so much hotter than they were 10 years ago*Life is unfair...unfair...UNFAIR!*

I've been Tagged*Nope, I am not on Sale!*

Phew! I never understood the tagging business...though I do realize that it is supposed to be something pious and followed very religiously or else you’d be burning in hell*that’s how you people make it sound*.
So here I have been tagged thrice and gradually would try to rise to the occasion despite my pitfalls!

Kindly bare/bear...whatever!

This tag is from Sakshi and The Bald Guy *double conspiracy*.Thanks people for feeling I could do a good job at this...if by ‘good job’ you thought I’d be more guilty than you...you are damn right...guilty as charged!

Your Rules:
RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent*...aa...err...mm...WTF!*
RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!*hint, hint...message, message and ask, ask!*
RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag up friends to answer this*people please tag yourselves, I find this kinda difficult...yes, even for someone like me!*

My rules:
I am sorry, take me to court but answering in monosyllables is just NOT humanly possible in my case...I am just not made that way. I shall explode for lack of eruptions of words vying within to get out...but I promise I would try to be as much in brief (briefs nahi brief) as possible. Anyways mentioning thought bubbles in asterix do not qualify as “saying”...they are just reactions n not explanations...and the rest is your destiny my friend!

• Asked someone to marry you? Guilty*Sigh! Sigh!*
• Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty*OMG, OMG!*
• Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent*always think of the poor table n give up*
• Ever told a lie? Guilty*remember what Krishan ji said in Geeta or was it in Mahabharat?*
• Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty*hmm...all the bloody time. Why can’t I “have” all that I want...or at least some of the ALL!*
• Kissed a picture? Guilty*sometimes even my own during those bouts of ‘nobody loves me’*
• Slept in until 5 PM? Innocent*how can one miss out the action for so long?*
• Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty*ask my students ;-)*
• Acting like Cupid? Guilty*if I can’t have them...well at least let someone else have fun!*
• Been suspended from school? Innocent
• Flirted openly? Guilty*now if not ‘openly’ then ‘behind closed doors’ would account for something else only, won’t it? ;-)*



• Stolen from a store? Guilty*okay sue me now!*
• Been fired from a job? Innocent*I fire things I don’t get fired...fried sometimes though I do get due to my big mouth!*
• Done something you regret? Guilty
• Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty*actually it was the nose only...but to save my face...aaa...you know what I mean!*
• Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent*unless aapke gaon mein “usse” snowflakes kehte hain ;-)*
• Kissed in the rain? Innocent :-(
• Made out in a public place? Innocent :-( :-(
• Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent/Guilty*go figure that out Einstein*
• Sang in the shower? Guilty*my shower like Megh Devta erupts only after I scream...err...sing...maybe to shut my mouth with water*
• Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Guilty/Innocent


• Had a weird haircut? Guilty*that says “had” by the way...no relation to present tense*
• Had a crush on more than one person at a time? Guilty*ek se mera kya hoga?*
• Initiated friendship with a stranger? Guilty*wise-ass...every friend is a stranger at some point!*
• Been an Agony aunt? Guilty*bloody all the time...if I charged for this...I could buy Bill Gates off*
• Fallen flat on your face before a crowd? Guilty*oho...what a moment...err...fall that was!*
• Donated Blood? Guilty
• Teased or whistled at a guy? Guilty ;-)
• Burnt food while cooking? Guilty*ho ho...and you don’t wanna know what I did with the burnt food!*
• Still love someone you shouldn’t? Guilty
• Wished you had magical powers? Guilty*evil grin*




• Have/had a tattoo? Innocent*so wanna be guilty :-(*
• Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty
• Been too honest? Guilty*hmm...Raja Harishchandra would have been proud of me for carrying his legacy to the point of dumbness*
• Thrown in a surprise party? Guilty*but why do I always ‘throw’...when would I be thrown for? :-(*
• Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? Innocent*is there scope for MORE bloating? :-(*
• Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty
• Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)?Guilty
• Joined a pageant? Guilty*and I even won...yiyee...yiyee*
• Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty*blush, blush!*
• Had dreams about film stars getting cosy with you? Guilty*oh why did I wake up! @#$%*
• Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent*unless you count in 5-6 bottles of water in this*
• Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty