So my husband, whom most of you know in real life and the rest of you know through me blabbering about him here, is a simple man. The only extravagance that he indulged in (which makes no sense to me) was going to the spa once a month maybe. Thanks to the lockdown, वो भी स्वाहा हो गया। बाक़ी ना गाड़ियाँ ना मोबाइल ना जूते ना कपड़े। कोई चीज़ का ख़ास शौक़नहीं।कहते हैं अच्छी बीवी मिल जाए इंसान को, तो उसे और किसी चीज़ की इच्छा नहीं रहती। I guess these old sayings are actually ripe with truth and wisdom.
He’ll enjoy the good things but never initiate them. The kind of man who will buy a new pair of shoes only after he’s in the position to discard one of his old (in all 4) overused ones. “Need before fashion”. Finds no sense in wearing T-shirts that scream their brand logo, etc. सस्ता, सुंदर और टिकाऊ पति। Woh Hackett-packett waalon ke race mein nahi. Sorry for the huge build up, coming to the main story.
Now this man had one good perfume bottle only that he used rarely when going to parties or get-togethers. Like on a bimonthly basis. In his defense, he smells delicious naturally. Also there was another - a Zara perfume, of a more economic range, used for less momentous outings.
I had bought him the former wonderful fragrance - Georgio Armani’s Aqua di Gio and he wouldn’t hear of me buying another perfume till this bottle was done. Now a year and a half has gone by and it wasn’t even 1/3rd used. “पहले यह तो खतम हो जाए और की क्या ज़रूरत हैं” he would say and use it only when necessary. बचाऊँ पति। Else the Zara bottle would come to the rescue. (His boys night outs deserve Zara only, to be honest)
Moving on, we have a new cleaning lady who was doing the dusting yesterday of our dressing table and guess what - Out of the seven odd perfume bottles kept there (five of them mine), G’s lonely soul of an almost full bottle slipped off her hands and shattered on the floor. Since two days we are living in the Aqua di Gio air that even the masks can’t save us from.
Now I’m having a tough time trying to not hold my stomach, point and laugh at him for trying to save something all this while that was gone in 10 seconds and say “hey, I told you so”. But because I can’t tell him, for he is already fuming over the loss, I might as well give you guys some gyan.
Here is a perfect allegory for life. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, life is like a perfume bottle. You must use it up well while it still has fragrance. If you keep waiting to enjoy it later, it just might lose the essence, someone can steal it from you or it can slip through your hands and be lost forever. “अभी 20-30 साल काम कर लें, Europe में क्या रखा हैं। आराम से बाद मेंजाएँगे ज़िंदगी में।” And lo behold, Corona is now having the last laugh.
Be right back, I think this moral of the story isn’t being well received by my husband and I could be in danger of not getting my Gin bottle restocked. I better come up with another story for him. Stay safe, you all.