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07 December, 2011

Love and the Semblance of it!


I love cinema that make me not just look but also think. A very belated watched Rockstar did the same. Nopes, this is not a review-this is the aftermath of some churning and wriggling while watching it not in the way you think though.

I don’t take the motion pictures too seriously but I like to ponder over the food for thought that some of them sneakingly sow in my mind. These are then the movies that stay with me for a longer time. And Rockstar fanned the hitherto latent pang with the astounding love equation between Heer and Jordon-the characterisation that left me bowled over.

The love that is unconditional, that is so strong that it becomes an ache to bear and like an alchemist to all ailments-that directs all your bodily functions into pumping not blood but emotions! A love that defies reason, relations and practicality- like poetry residing in bodies-that makes or breaks, leaving you impervious to any other sensation and oblivious to any other human being!

Does such a love actually exist or it is again a gimmick of the movie makers to keep schmucks like us in the dreamy zone of hope and expectations?

My lucid mind tells me it is all crap. How can you feel so strongly for someone after meeting for a few days or post years of separation? The fast paced, realistic world and the variety it offers, reasserts my conviction that ‘No one and nothing is indispensible or irreplaceable’. But then the bent-on-general-awareness waala mind points to me of the Cupid struck suicide cases that occur where love lost souls prefer death over disjointing. Stupid people, I say-whimsical brood!

Self-love is the only and truest form of love-how can you love someone, if you don’t love yourself enough to stay alive and make true your dreams. How can love be one-sided and yet forever? How can one love another and just one person so much? Although I also feel too much education and the classy flavour debars one from entering this mindless portal as reinstated by the Rockstar. Love is the idol of the idle-to feel it raw, perhaps you need to be raw and open.

Upon deeper introspection, I felt the “what-if” trudge in with its nimble feet on the well attended, sprawling lawns of sanity and leaving its indelible footprints. What if these people have managed to experience what we block ourselves to? What if they are not immature but just more receptive of feeling sans logic, that we so lack? They are not senseless but more sensory. What if they have traversed the thin line and moved over to something greater that we with our nitty gritties of issues cannot even fathom?
Issues like-Am I being used? Does he really like me? Is there a future? What if she wants my money? We are really different people! Why hasn’t he called? and mindless more. What if what we think is love is not really it, but a little semblance that we have found and cling to it fanatically feeling that's the best we can get and thereby shut all doors to the horizon waiting to expand? 

Maybe the souls who experience that kind of pure, unadulterated love are those who never think-just love, who never get-just give and who don’t even want anything in the first place or want anything else. And then maybe again, this entire concept is the conditioning of the mind and is as plausible as the Santa Claus. So we might just as well and please refrain from hanging the hope stockings, yes even the imaginary ones, in the dim vestibules of our lonely-in-crowd minds?

And so thus my tryst with internal struggles continues-I ache to feel that love which becomes a pain to bear and not just a pain in the arse. A love that pounds within me with such throbbing that mutes every other noise of the world! And then I dismiss myself as a hopeless romantic-in love more with the feeling of being in love than persons. Love always makes me an oxymoron-I know the coherent view but I incline towards the fantastical one...I am consistently wary of the fake yet persistently experimental for the real...I pride in all my judiciousness and still secretly pine to be erroneous.

I want to solve this mystery once and for all so that hapless people don’t spend endless hours in sighing or viewing prospective romances with soul-mateish spectacles. If only we could separate the romance from love, perhaps we would define them both.

60 comments:

☆ Rià ღ said...

So true...I got similar thoughts after wathcing the move...it made me wonder if such love still exists coz i dont see anything of that sorts around me. Or is it that we r too engrossed in the banal life to see this kinda love around us.

Anu said...

Hmmmn...I loved the movie myself and purely for all the portions between Jordan and Heer. Ofcourse, the movie was larger than life like all cinematic experiences are supposed to be but the basic sentiment was still overpowering.It took me back to younger and more idealistic days where love made the world go around. Circa 2011 balance and moderation is the mantra of the day. It takes a intense love story to shake us from our existence. That is life I guess - to strive for balance on one hand and question the whole basis of the need for it on the other !

Alka Gurha said...

I havent seen the movie as yet....
It is so difficult to write about emotions, more so love, but you have done it beautifully.This post reminds me of two novels by Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook and The Wedding....Have u read them? If not please do, you will love them.

Rahul Bhatia said...

I am sure you must have come across some couples who have been married for long and what chemistry made the unconditional love work! Maybe without getting to much materialism attached to everything try to find reasons ...As a review of the movie it is good...

kalpak n. said...

this is the most beautiful analysis of rockstar ever.

after i read the second last para i was lost. jus sittin and thinking. i read it almost 5 times, the second last para. its brilliantly beautiful. ur a rare writer who has the desired effect on the readers that she wants to have. love u su. ur simply superb.

Ashutosh said...

I am a wandering soul..keep on moving from one place to another. The basic reason for me to cme to US was same. Infact wenever i go to delhi to meet my family..i make sure i dnt give even 1 minute for myself coz i know i'll be standing infront of her house if i m in delhi.
And its aint love..its just a unanswered soul that force u to find answers..
"what if" and "Why this" are the reason behind of you standing infront of her house or you going for her inspite of everything getting over.

Suicide..i found myself gng for it in subconcious state n thank god for that call which brought me back to my senses.
suicide happens in unconsious state...ppl who commit it are nt in position to think..trust me knowing that ur gng to die..u cant take ur life...

Naice post..i luv the muvi inspite of so many flaws in the second half..

Vinod Vyas said...

Reminds of a beautiful song written by Gulzaar Sahab

"Sirf ehsaas hai yeh rooh se mehsoos karo
pyar ko pyar hi rahne do koi naam na do"

I read this post many times and could not help myself agreeing with everything u have written.Yes indeed we cling to whatever we get,accept it as true love only to be disappointed.True love can blossom only in pious heart free of all desires.

TheGirlAtFirstAvenue said...

I loved this post for reasons too personal to share here. But its exists - pure, unadulterated love with no reason and no logic. Love that lives on forever, without any expectations and without any judgement.
Others would call it 'being foolish' but they dont know what they are talking about. Love that is so strong that its almost painful.. it does exist :)
I can't tell you how much I loved this post! :)

Purba said...

Suruchi the romantique pores her heart out - seeks love that she has imagined but perhaps never experienced.

It's unsettling, screws up your head, nothing seems the same anymore - bit it's still worth it.

maithili said...

The one reason that stops us from loving to the fullest is rationality.. The why, hows, and "where is it leading" makes us too narrow to love.. Have you noticed how the most impossible relations are the ones that go on to make stories? Love beyond "ME" can exist if we don't apply our reasons..

meoww said...

love is just love..
there is nothing that precedes..
nothing that follows..

its a void within itself and yet overflowing with emotions..

loved the post suruchi..!!

cheers !!

Gargi Gupta said...

Love is a complex feeling hard to define and find as the world is selfish place..feeling of being in love is always better than the person itself...nice read on love.

Dr Roshan R said...

i actually do believe in such a love,,it may seem improbable..it may seem almost of a Victorian era..but that love still exists even today... I liked the Girlatfirstavenue and Maithili's thoughts on ittoo

Sadiya Merchant said...

i think d perfect kind of love wid perfect timing is TOTALLY impossible.
sumthings always missing. Either d wholeness of feelin, or if d feelin is rite den d person isnt around.
alwayyyyss always sum gadbad HAS to b dere!!!

dey ask 'wats a heaven for'...for dis i gues :)

Anonymous said...

Loved ur post.. Have not watched the movie as yet but I can vouch that the love we are talking about exists..

I am the types who thought we are so different and there is no future.. while the other person suffered to the point that it actually became an unbearable pain for the other one..

Still i continued to think on the same lines and moved away.. this post has brought back so many memories

Thanks for the post.. now I value the person even more.. only that i cant let the other person know..

Jenny said...

Love is too complex a word..

When we were in college, we just followed 2 fundas and made it simplier:
'Out of sight, so out of mind'
'To get over one man, you need another one!'

As immature, as these thoughts may sound now, but for all my friends, it surely worked postively.
We all wanted only happiness and joy from love. None of us really wanted to carry the burden and pain of lost love. Its too precious of a life to waste on someone, who is so far or someone who may not even love you so much in return. Selfish, but as you said, its all but self love..

I mean, isnt it similar to losing a loved one, dont we all move on at some point of our life..?

Yet to see rockstar, but after reading posts like this one, I have to watch that fast!

Great read!

Scribbling Gal said...

I haven't watched that movie so cant say much but LOVE....sigh

I dont believe in the idea of love much now....but once did and in the nonsensical kinds too....I have done things ppl will find me mad but i did....and will somehow forever find peace in his goodwill....

those four yrs of love was enough to find sanity in all i go thru as i did went through the 'foolishness'...where noone called it perfect but for me it was :) so i believe it does :)....might not last or break but for once we experience and that foolishness makes us smile forever :)

Love is love and then life comes :)

Suruchi said...

@Ria,
We are too engrossed in the banal life yaar and plus such a love is humanly very difficult to attain unless we shun everything else!:-)



@Alks,
I have heard so much about Nicholas Sparks but never read any of his books-I have seen the movie The Notebook but of course it is not the same...though I have lost the patience and leisure to sit with a book...sad, na?:(

Suruchi said...

@Anu,
Wish Heer could have acted to make this chemistry the most beautiful one on screen...I had goosebumps when Ranbir said from under the blanket “Bahar ki duniya mein ab reh nahi paaonga” there was actual pain on his face...He has come such a long way as an actor!
Yes, the sentiments were overpowering!
I wish I knew you better and more personally so I could ask you somewhere in a hush hush way what is Circa 2011 and not appear dumb in front of the whole world:-)


@Rahul,
I wish I knew what chemistry makes the unconditional love work...!:-)

Suruchi said...

@Kalpak,
My god you are so nice to me in the comments...aisa to mujhe aapse pyar-shyaar ho jaayega;-)
Thank you...it means so much when someone who likes me for my humour praises me for my sentiments...and someone like you, whom I feared would be bored by such stuff. I am so honoured. And sahi mein ruk gaya tha second last para mein? Wow!:-)


@Vinod,
Those lines from Gulzaar Saheb were beautiful...and I so liked how you used the “saheb” there:-)
But then-How can hearts be free of desire? Isn’t that one of its basic functions?

Suruchi said...

@Ashutosh,
A love relationship that ends with unanswered questions remains a question mark always! That is why the importance of a closure:-)
There is always a time to move on and maybe the time is now!
Stop torturing yourself...open up to love again and it would find you-close your mind and love would bang crazy at your portals and evaporate:-)

Past has to be buried-we don’t live in love stories, na?:-)
I am sorry this post caused you so much trouble Ashu!


@TGAFA,
Hi Chandana,
I can’t tell you how happy I am to know that someone believes in it-and happier if they have felt it! A consolation to my own searching heart. Thank you:-)

Anu said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circa

Hope this helps :-)

I must say reading your blog inspires me to write my own. Have been awfully lazy and not confident enough about my talent for writing. I think I will give it a shot :-)

Suruchi said...

@Purbs,
Yup, imagined and not experienced...perhaps ki gunjaayesh nahi hai:-)
All the pain would be worth it...I believe there is nothing more important in the world than love like that-and imagine then, not having it!
:-)


@Maiths,
You are an epitome of such love baby...
I am so glad you’ve found it and all my prayers that you live the rest of your life in this bliss:-)
Rationality and love are at polar points for sure-when they merge it is then that the lines and clarity blurs!

Suruchi said...

@Meoww,
Waah waah...what an apt definition of love.
“It is a void within itself and yet overflowing with emotions”-beautiful line:-)
Thank you!


@Gargi,
Chalo finally someone else who loves love more than people:-)
Thank you for reading!

Suruchi said...

@Rosh,
I believe in it too doc just that the wait makes it waver sometimes:-)


@Sadiya,
Itneeeeeeeeeee time se madam ji is gaayab...welcome back, firstly:-)
The perfect love if not impossible is very difficult to attain!
And jab tak perfection attain hue-pata chala mood badal gaya:-)
And wow, from love to Santa to heaven...aren’t we all wishful kids?:-)

Suruchi said...

@Anon,
When we love someone, we should ALWAYS let that person know-that’s the first and foremost thing about love...Kuch nahi hota yaar, incase she does not accept-there is no awkwardness and no end of relations.
You just need to express in a mellow manner for starters!
We worry about useless things and love leaves us by that time...
Thank you for reading:-)


@Jenny,
Exactly what my pragmatic side inches me to when the dreamy one behaves senselessly! And moving on is the only way to ensure a heartbreak...not all love stories can end in a happily ever after and not all pining would make you any wiser! Yet the sighs, do not leave, do they?:-)

Suruchi said...

@SG,
All experiences enrich us and contribute in some way or the other in shaping how we think and feel...so never regret anything that went wrong or quieten anything that screams in your head.
Good memories are sometimes as great as good relationships!:-)
And you’ll find love again-keep looking!


@Anu,
No it does not help...I need to hear, talk, discuss to understand stuff...
So could we also meet up some place else other than my comment box?:-)
And please write, I’d love to read more of you-anything of you!

sobhit said...

i hvnt seen d movie but d hopelessly in love wala feeling toh i knw :P.. bekar hota hai yar.. love ruins friendship :(.. idiotic blood pumping heart.. u mentioned in ur post "if i were god" mein that heart only pumps blood, stupid fool also mks us fools wid the feelings.. one sided thing wil hurt no dbt, but 2 sided wont aise bhi koi gaurantee toh ni.. two sides of coin will filp flop if u pick it up n emotions toh sare hi face karne hote hai yar.. agreed self love wala funda.. my frnd keeps saying dat n i constatntly tell him, dude dats fine. but self love ko self abuse na bana liyo :P :P...

cant think beyond a person, fuck practcalty types thots.. sab khatam hota hai once d "oh i am so in love wali" feeling ends, n it does.. wotevr has bbegun wil end.. be it d feelings end or d person.. start n end toh hona hi hai.. but til d time it remains d bliss n hurt go hand in hand.. wohi baat hai yar till d time u get love, till d time bandi ko patane ka time hota hai, woh kick alag hota hai.. once she agrees toh shayad khatam ho jaye like d tresure hunt thing.. i knw not a very good comparison but pata ni.. am kinda scared n not so good with d emotions n feeling stuff.. mera toh band hi bajta hai :P abhi bhi baj hi raha hai :P :P

Jack said...

Suruchi,

I have not yet seen the said movie, so no churning or wriggling. You have asked what love is, and I take it from what you have written you mean ISHQ, as love is of many hues - Parental, Offsprings, Siblings, Relatives and Friends. Not forgetting one's love for God. Love which you are talking off is something which can not be put in words, though many poets or writers have made efforts to do so. It is something which can be understood by own experience. Liked the way you put across your thoughts.

Take care

Anu said...

My god ....with all the praise you get I'm surprised you haven't got a swollen head ! Do people out here write what they really mean ? I mean most of your posts are outstanding ....but not ALL of them ;-) and I've noticed glowering comments even for them. What is the story here ...am I missing something ?

Bikramjit said...

I did not like the movie at all, to me it was too much over the head transmission..

why do they have to portray something that doesnot exist anymore in LIFE today.. this might be true in days gone by when people had more values ...

What is love well i am the last one to say anything fir i have not been successful in mine to me it is as those silly rhymes

Lake of sorrow
Ocean of tears
Valley of death
End of life

There is no perfect love its just a myth which we endevour to HAVE and hope ot get a lot of equations come into the being ..

you take care and keep smiling :)
Bikram's

jo said...

Even if you are lucky enough to fall in love so profoundly, how do you sustain it if its one sided. I really doubt unconditional love. If there is one thing thats constant about life, I guess its that it goes on. If we can't move on with life and stay trapped in past, I think it indicates that our prospects for survival are really poor. However I do wish with all my heart that such love actually exists.

I haven't watched Rockstar, but I was almost in the same state of mind after watching 'Gegen Die Wand'. I think you'll like it. :)

TheBluntBlogger said...

I love myself the most. The most. Yet, I have loved and fallen in one sided love. The feelings grew stronger, then rested :)

We give up after a while perhaps, unless, we like the idea of one sided love and pain that drives us...

Ameena said...

I haven't seen the movie but I totally agree with what you write here...I have such mixed feelings on these types of films. Are we setting people up for unrealistic expectations? I think so...

Red Handed said...

I dont know what this love is. I love me and I can do anything so that I can be better and feel better. I think being with a certain someone makes me feel good and fighting with tht certain someone makes me sad, and that why I like to be with him. So is this love for me or love for him. Doing things for him makes me happy, and seeing him smile makes me happy. So is this love for me or love for him? I dont know. But I dont want definitions...
Great post!!!! Solve the mystery soonnn!!

Thousif Raza said...

i have to tell you true love.. doesn't come so easy... The honeymoon period is not just for marriages,. its for love too... the first 3 months are like so amazing... then you get to know all about that person ... where u like some things and hate others... and to get to a point where the other person doesnt expect anything is like walking through a street of fire...

For me it happened... last month, where i killed my every expectations... tried to give just love, and it has not been easy... here and there atleast one or 2 expectations do remain... its impossible to be without expectations... if u say ui r... u know inside ur sad...

Its very difficult sometimes... when u know ur in love with the person whom u wanna spend ur rest of ur life with, but for some reason which u dont like u dislike him/her to the point where you think of braking up... its crazy...

All i can say is, one can only try to love without expectations and oddly if u do try na.. it is satisfying than the constant thoughts of... why he dint do this? why she dint do that? ur much more calmer if u keep zero expectations... belive me... it very difficult but not impossible... personal experience :)

:) Take care and keep writing.......

Sharvani said...

loved it!very touching..I agree with what you said about self-love..but couldn't help yearning for the kind of love you have described in your third para..I think its the idea of pain which stops most people from getting lost in love..but even that extreme pain is a reminder that you have loved deeply right..
I esp liked the line '...refrain from hanging the hope stockings the dim vestibules of our lonely-in-crowd minds?'...
just great..

Mishi said...

hi Susuchi! LOng time no See...hope you are doing well ...I havnt watched the movie rockstar yet so cant say much about it..but the unconditional love! Well its hard to comment..the concept of love varies from person to person..this is something that we all have a different defintion about ..Some people like it all calculative and balanced while others like it rigid and possessive..and then there are people who just love you without asking anything back in return..so this truly is a complicated question..besides I dont think many people want to have its perfect defntion..they like it they way they feel it!
but you did nail the subject...good job..very well written:-)

pygmalion said...

Suruchi, you are brutally honest, I should say! I too have wondered the same way.. how could someone love like that..
But initially when you fall in love, its a beautiful suffocating feel, a lovely pain.. But the fact is that it is transient.. It just cant last for long..

Rachit said...

Love... I love my parents unconditionally. And, quite unfortunately haven't experienced the love with fairer sex as of now :(. But yeah love crafts passion, a layer of devotion which engulfs all your pains and makes the ugly world easy for you to live.

Weakest LINK

the other side of me said...

I find myself to be surrounded with lots of question mark after reading this. Makes me to think.. but still i'm a dreamer who believes in love,the kind of unconditional love..

Read some of your posts..this place is so lively with amazing thoughts ..keep it alive :)

alka narula said...

am yet to watch it:(

Anita Jeyan Sandeep said...

I havent watched the movie yet but I am confused now. Yes the world would be a better place, Suruchi, if some people just know whether their mate loves them or is just pretending for selfish purposes. Heartbreaks would be much lesser and so will genuine love be much more appreciated. What a beautiful thought !

Suruchi said...

@Sobhit,
Abhi what do I say...you make me think about my opinions with the earnest way in which you bring out your feelings. Love and been hurt is better than never been loved. Some person’s good memories are better than a blank disc. And there could possibly be a love that lifts you beyond the surface and takes you deep...the hurt would no doubt be greater, but so would the ecstacy!:-)


@Jack,
Thank you Uncle J...but then something that can’t be expressed and only felt makes love so much like God and hence so important to be felt to reinstate the faith:-)

Suruchi said...

@Anu,
I have swollen cheeks if that’s any consolation!:-)
I have no idea if people write what they mean-but a fair idea of who means what they write:-)
You are not missing anything-it is me missing reading that new proposed blog space by you...When? When? Oh....When?


@Biky,
Awww...that’s such a cute poem. You know this post was not about the film per se but about two characters who could be so much in love that life depended on it...I know it is very difficult to achieve in the present times and that is why the baffling thoughts mentioned here Biky, but impossible bhi to nahi hain, like some of the gals say here:-)
And I to always keep smiling ji:-)

Suruchi said...

@Jo,
Exactly-one sided love that lingers through life, totally goes over my head!
You bring out the pragmatic me:-) And I wish I get to see the movie you mention and the books Alks suggested-when you guys say that you think I would like it-I so know I would...at least this much to you know me by now and I know you:-)


@TBB,
Chints,
But you loved like that when you were younger-immaturity kind of sparks reasoning-now you are stronger and more in control:-)

Suruchi said...

@Ameena,
We definitely are setting people up with unrealistic expectations from ages-that is why I am a little wary of the mush that the bigwigs churn out now-the larger than life stories-can you imagine how it could mess up with younger heads?:-)


@Red,
It is love for you...we don’t realize what we have in hand till time passes a bit and the real picture comes out. While we think we are “in love” we are too busy enjoying it or making it work than introspecting about it. If it lasts it sure is love, if not then we get to gauge. There is no mystery baby, inside you know what it is-outside you ask:-)

Suruchi said...

@Thousif,
You are such a cutie baby:-)
You cannot kill expectations-you can dabao how you expect for a while, but it would surface eventually...that’s human nature-we are meant for give and take! It is always ONE big quality that we want in a relationship and just ONE big one we hate. If you think of breaking up over one such issue, I think you need to think more:-)
Unnecessary expectations on every damn thing ofcourse are the spoil sports!
All the best and you know where to find me if you need to talk:-)


@Shravni,
Very few people can welcome pain...but they do not realize that the respite post the pain can be exhilirating...medium efforts=medium gains...your-give-all efforts=get-all gains:-)
Thank you!

Suruchi said...

@Mishi,
Thank you girl...you know how many times I landed on your page and even read that two parts story about love, but just at the time of commenting something stupid happens...
Love is person to person...but then a love like that should come to every person just once at least:-)


@Pygmalion,
I love how you describe the opposites in “beautiful, suffocating feel” and a “lovely pain”...it truly is such a beauty in the contrast:-)
And I guess we all live to pine:-)
Thank you for reading Pygy:-)

Suruchi said...

@Rachit,
Here’s wishing you experience the love with the fairer sex soon enough to weave your own tales for us:-)


@The other side of me,
Thank you so much for reading this post and the others...and sometimes questioning ourselves is harder than questioning others:-)
Hope to see you around!

Suruchi said...

@Alka,
Koi na-Rockstar ain’t going anywhere:-)


@Anita,
Thank you and I guess my confusion is infectious:-)

Red Handed said...

Inside you know what it is, outside you ask. THE MOST WISE WORDS I HAVE EVER COME ACROSS. Killed me!

Shreya said...

I believe Love is a basic nature of living beings and it cannot be undone with. Yes everyday diversities bring us to practical forefront and we tend to forget our core nature but are always in hunt for the same.

We all have the capacity to give and that giving energy in relationship is love this goes for long( giving depends on person to person) .

But when give and take comes in love how can you expect to feel eternal love in return.
To feel love you have to be the source of it. :)

Sakshi said...

Go see my latest blog post! That is my comment on this post. A reason why I am so late in commenting here!

Mani Lalwani said...

I am yet to watch rockstar :(
I am such a lazy jerk :\ :(

put sum sorta spoiler alert on such posts ! :p

Hitesh Jain said...

it seems that you are in affairs with your own words..in the end..when i reached the conclusion i found it disturbing..Don't you think...it needs to be normal and simple at heart when you crave for the kind of love you defined above.. May be a more simple way which makes the feelings unique and effortless defines love..which is ubiquitous..we just need that gut to face it and accept and crush the hurdles made by our mind which are stopping us..

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