Amazing people who make me go on n on n on:)

01 April, 2010

The Awesome Twosome!




It was an interesting night out with friends yesterday and a moment of revelation for me, which often happens when I am forced to sit in the women’s ONLY section (@#$%) and I survive it! All of my grown up life, I have lived with the belief that men are the most obsessed lots with boobs don’t raise a questioning eye brow now-of course women’s boobs and not their own, unless they have them too-ewww. But hellooooooooooo, wake up time! I was proved wrong yesterday! If there is anyone most obsessed with women’s breast on this planet-It’s the women themselves. Stop gloating “man”kind! You are only getting a peek here, a peek into the discussion that is, so no need there to rub-those eyes so much.

We now had a gang of women discussing the usual ‘blah, blah’ when the hostess suddenly asked...
Woman 1: Ladies, am I looking too flat in this T-shirt? (taking all the searching pairs of watchful eyes to her top half or the lack of it rather!)
Me: Oh not at all yaar, with a waist like yours (I sometimes think if I put my palms together in a circle, with my finger tips touching each other, her so-called waist just might fit into it. I get such an anxiety fit at the possibility of the idea coming true that I never end up trying to find out) and those long sexy legs, who cares what’s on top?

W2:  Hehe, yup and men don’t really care what’s on top, as long as it’s a woman up there! (followed by a wink)
W3(she’s the ‘big’ woman, who is now getting a chance to flaunt at least something big about her positively and feel proud): Oh no, no! Men do care gurls! I mean for all your great size zero fetish, doesn’t your guy really complain sometime? (raising her fingers expertly and seductively down her line-cleavage line dim heads or would that be the cleavage circle...er...whatever!) Mine would be so lost without them! Ouch!

W1(very seriously looking down at her little cleavage now): But I’m not THAT flat I hope? Suruchi, you touch me and tell? And before I can vouch for my lack of qualifications or express my opinion to govern where my “handy” movements should or should not be extended to without permission, my palm has been manually grasped and put on her breast!

Me: Hmm...aaaa...mmmm no, I am not moaning with pleasure...I am thinking of a suitable retort to please all those watchful eyes of female predators-to please them all with one answer. Yup, I was trying to go where no man had gone before!

My mental maths:
Should I say they are good?-But that would mean I have an under nourished choice!
Should I say they are good enough?-But that would mean I have a liking for them!
Should I say they could have been bigger?-But that would mean that I am trying to flaunt my own!
Should I say ‘who am I to tell’?-But that would mean I’d rather do other things with them than tell about it!
Should I say....?-@#$%^@#$$ Ugh-Time up!
Time to say now and get my hands off them!

Me: Err...not at all! What size are you by the way?
W1 (chin up n facial expressions tightened, the kind that you’d probably see on Shaheed Bhagat Singh’s face in movies when he’d say ‘I am an Indian’): I am a 33.

And she smiles expectantly for me to say if I approve of a 33 or not. Bloody hell, I never even knew there was a 33. I thought there was a Clearasil n then 32 and then 34 and then 36 and then 38 and then unnecessary-excessive-madness and fake beyond that. And who the f@#$ am I to say if 33 is bloody good enough or not? It’s not as if I am seeking some pleasures from it or that I have a degree in BVR-Breast Validity Recognition!

W5 (in an expression of half disbelief and half offended and full don’t-you-dare-mess-with-me): Oh come on, that’s not true! If you are 33 then how on earth can I be 34, with mine way lot bigger than yours? (eyes glowering with challenge now) Suruchi, now you feel mine too and prove it!

OH MY BLOODY GOODNESS!!!!!
Where the bloody hell is my lawyer? I have some rights and now I intend to sue some people here for woman/man handling me. For heaven’s sake-my preferences and public display/perception of it is at stake here! But poor me, I end up getting stuck in situations where I least expect, yes, like in between women’s breasts! Here I was, sitting between two hot looking women-my hands outstretched like a scarecrow’s-each cupping one out of two pairs of womanly breast and I don’t know where to look and how much to grasp and please don’t even begin to ask how I was feeling as in emotions and not feeling-feeling! Phew!

As though by divine intervention to screw my case further, these women realized perhaps I am ‘holding’ them too lightly and this might lead to a miscalculation of a final inference. So they made me press well and tight! There is no bloody respect of a public place in the youth today! Tch, tch, this coming from me who has always advocated PDA-public display of affection! Little did I know that both genders might get involved in the term ‘public’!

And there I also spotted my beloved sitting at the other end of the hall, almost tilting dangerously his chair backwards to look through the crowds at what I was up to with an expression of...
Not “What the f@#$!”
Not “Someone help my wife!”
Not “Khabardaar jo kisse ne mere biwi ko haath lagaya...err...se haath lagwaaya!”
But “Do u need help in there honey? It looks like you have quite a ‘handful’ to do just by yourself?”
Me (in my thought bubble in return): @#$%$#@@&!

Me: Girls, girls, how does it matter? At the end of the day, for these men, it is not important how much you juggle, but more vital how THEY make you wriggle! (Looking at others for a thunderous applause at my philosophical insight. But as it seems, I was stuck in the in‘sides’ still and the dumb women just watched me gaping, with their mouths of course!

And so slowly, inconspicuously, I got my hands down. Thanked the father up in heaven!
Oye, down bole to, down to my own sides!

W4 (now with her arms in an akimbo and her upper half jutting out threateningly at me): Since you are testing everyone else, you must feel me too and tell. My husband would hate it of he knew I were left out!

Holy freaking shit! I need to wash my hands with Dettol today or perhaps Ariel multi wash would do. I had to get the scent of these women off me! If you had to put me through the test my Lord, why couldn’t I be doing the men? Err...I mean I could tell by touching who had the better muscles...on their arms or softest hair...on their heads! (What gross things you people just thought here a line before, na? Ram, Ram, Ram...ghoor kalyug!)

Hmmm, I always dreamt that people would queue up before me someday-little did I know it would be for a Breast Awareness Camp that I didn’t even set up in the first place! By now a little crowd had gathered around our table for word had got out. (Ji nahi...hamaare gaon mein “usse” word nahi kehte!)

I got many men to shower curious glances at me, smirk with all their charm in the mighty hopes that I might leak some of my new found depth of the ultimate truth. Some even shook hands with me again, even though they had tested the softness of my palms upon arrival. I had to remind them that I am not a touch phone and this is not a touch-pass-vibration therapy!

And then the men in their truest dumb fashion began to boast and fling uncalled-for proposals as volunteers that thankfully ended my whole role as the tester. I feel the world can get to the cure of AIDS, discover new planets and achieve all the rest of scientific blah, blah that they are struggling to reach at, if only the men would just stop proposing, presenting and selling themselves at every bloody occasion!

Man 1: To judge this you must call someone from the opposite gender to get the whole idea? Hey, your bloody good luck today coz I am available!
M2: Is there a confusion? Ask me, I am an expert in these things? I can even tell you how you can upgrade!
M3: You girls, don’t listen to these perverts. All they wanna do is touch you. Let me come to the rescue. You all just stand in line here and I would just watch intently and tell. Problem solved!
All the W’s finally in unity (in our thought bubbles): @##$$#@@%^&!

Needless to say you can fathom what happened after this!
The group dispersed. Some went to their husbands/ secret admirers to confirm, some went in a corner and tightened the hooks of their push up bras, some others bitched about some others’ assets and few were seen walking about with their front out in the rest of the party!

And what about “Me” you wonder? Well, I just had too much of a “touchy” experience to be able to say more here!




74 comments:

Vagabond said...

touchy moments!!!
*rolling on floor laughing*
*rolling on floor laughing harder*!!!!!!!

Wicked Witch of the West said...

Haha this sooo needs to be a video blog...that would've been hilarious! And I am so confused about the sizing there...here 32, 34 36 is just part of the measurement, and is nothing to do with the 'size'...do you have A, B, C, D, DD there? (our sizes are all like 34c etc)

Shalu said...

this was verrrrrrrry funny.....njoyed it thoroughly....haaaaaaaaaaa....;)

suruchi said...

Hi VB...
It's not for nothing that it's said..."one touch can take you there"

Btw...now that I have acquired an expertise of sorts...any more women interested in rising up the charts..most welcome...lolzzzzz
*nope...sexual preferences still intact;-)*

fashion feed said...

wow looks great

very touchy feeling in mind

suruchi said...

@W3..
I guess these women got so obsessed with numbering that they forgot they would have won the battles hands down*ya,even my hands down* just alphabetically...

Yup..it's the same here
A= Alrite!
B= Better if tried harder!
C= Cuppable!
D= Duh, they are just breasts!
DD= Damn u to the Double!

I don't believe what I just did up here!
P.S. Thank god it's not a video blog...we have to think of the men too;-)

suruchi said...

@Shalu di...
Thanksssssssssss...
I am so glad that u did:-)
Err....but...which "part" exactly?
Lolzzzzzzzzz..just kidding;-)

suruchi said...

@FF...
Thanks...hmmm...I didn't know something was showing(re:looks great;-)

Yup...so touchy it was...it made me very e'motional'...hahaha:-)
Keep coming!

Shady said...

Hamare gaon main usko Kya kya bolte hain kya bataoon


Anyway , Guy do love anything in D and above 34 and anything in bcd if its above 38

the bigger the better and this is not just limited to what gals have



And yeah next time you gals can call me I will wear my gloves(* and cover my face ) and do the analysis

coolboy said...

suruchi this is a nice post

as matter of fact it is little bit horny

any way its good i felt excited,

wow
take care

have a great day

visit mee

Shweta said...

Hey, did this actually happened ? You were molested..... i just cant stop laughing... VERY very interesting

Vemuri said...

Shoba De' - is she following u? if she ever read this she'd send her D-Gang to get the 'rights' for this blog - thanks for sharing it

The Bald Guy said...

LMAO! Cannot stop laughing! Read it over and over again!

Totally imagined it in my head! Poor you to go through that crap!

Just be glad it was just limited to the breasts.

:P

suruchi said...

Hey shady…
Mat batao…bataoge to aapka gaon badnaam ho jaayega;-)
Waise thanks for mentioning the guys’ side preference, which of course in your case comes with a whole world of experience :-))
D in 34 is a little too specific, nahi?
Chalo…suit yourself…I hope all the 34 D-ites are listening to shady baba;-)
And the bigger the better bhi?
Tch, tch…size does matter then debate all over again:-)

And there’s no next time…sorry to disappoint u…but the guys are in queue…since u are blindfolded anyways…wahan he aapka try karva dete hain;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Coolboy
OMG…who/what/why did you find this horny?
*u guys just can’t have enough of gals touching gals, can’t u? Even if it’s just for a handshake;-)*

Great that u felt excited…
I shall visit you in a while when the excitement dies…hehe..kidding:-)
Thanks for stopping by:-)

suruchi said...

Haanji Shwets…
Look at you all excited at the idea of me being molested…:-(
Now if I am going to say here that u had your chance n u let it pass…it’s going to raise eyebrows n in some cases a lot many more things that just that!

So tu n tere husband ne nahi kiya to iska matlab yeh thode ke koi bhi na kare…lolzzzz…

Stop grinning…n Saurabh hamesha tumhara he rahega*with one arm over the forehead in an expression of supreme sacrifice*:-)

And hellooooooo…read properly…looks like I was molesting others here...instead of the other way round:/

N stop laughing yaar…even if I was molested…u friend ke naam pe dhabba, are finding this “interesting” n laughing about it…
Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh…et tu Brute!

P.S. Wait till I get my hands on u...hahahohoheheh...*devilish laughter*;-)

suruchi said...

@Vemuri…
Nope…Shoba De ain’t following me…
And if she did…I’d be scared…coz I am tired of sudden womanly intervention in my life…
Where are all the men? Boo hoo:-(

Thanks for reading n commenting….
No one in his/her “right” mind would ask for “rights” of this blog yaar!
Infact they put an A certificate here n pretty soon I am afraid they may sue me too for being such a big mouth…
Till then I shall continue to raise hell here;-)

suruchi said...

Oye hoye…TBG
Imagine bhi kar liya:/
*now wondering what picture had I created of my own self there*

N thanks for the symapthies…I know…poor me…to go through all that crap..well actually crap nahi the…they were round n.... *beep,beep,beep*;-)

N thanks also for reminding me it was just limited to breasts…
*scratching her head again at the thought of what other competitions could there be*;-)

The Bald Guy said...

@ Suruchi, don't scratch your head! Think of the other places they could have made you scratch! You got out pretty easy I must say!

suruchi said...

TBG..I almost missed a line in the end that would have said 'don't tell if something to the effect comes to your mind'
But too late huh?

And scratchy business...
Ewwwwwwwww....
U just made me imagine horrible things!
............
.................
..........................
...............................
Imagine me scratching these women's heads with an oil-champy...
Ewwwwwwwwww!
;-)

Now that was not "easy"...I can be pretty for sure...never easy;-)

Anonymous said...

disappointed....why waste ur talent with such trivial posts?may get u eyeballs but is it really worth ?and I know u will go punning over my comment too,but had to tell you this.

suruchi said...

Awwww...thanks...I didn't know I had such a talent!
Then come out of the anon garbs n tell me what to do...
See...no puns intended there or anywhere:-)

Phoenixritu said...

*Mental note to self* Never ever read a blog TBG recommends while drinking tea. I am wiping my tears - that is how hard I laughed. This is awesome. Off to re-read it

Rahul Khatri said...

HEY BHAGWAAAN....the line i liked the most in this post is " Ram, Ram, Ram...ghoor kalyug!"

suruchi said...

Hey Phoenixritu...
*that's an awesomely long name...wow..so great to pronounce as a showoff in front of people... with the 'pronounce back if u can' look*

Thanks TBG has been so cute*though I have yet to see him*
Hope to see ya around:-)

suruchi said...

Hahaha...Rahul...
I knew u'd find something to relate to even in THAT...
*picking u up coz ab tak to for sure aap chair/sofa/couch se gir chuke hoge...mmm...couch...hmmm..;)*

"Hey Bhagwan..."
I so knew it;-)

♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ ayu ♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ said...

lolz..i accept that hehe..interesting and funny post~

P.S.
if you're ain't busy, pls. check out my latest post :D

Sakshi said...

LOL.. LOL.. Like really, poor you had to actually go through this crap...

suruchi said...

Hey Ayu...
Glad you liked it...:-)
Never too busy baby...
Would check it out soon:-)
Thanks for stopping by:-)

suruchi said...

Sakshi...
I know...
Poor poor me...
High time someone showed sympathies for me too:-(
I was in such a high risk zone...did anyone think of that?;-)

Thanks for lol-ing this though:-)

Anand M said...

Well..as much nice would have been seeing you getting along with the gals..was it reading,...ha ha..

Well now u see why we men are being abused...first gals make all the attempts so that we notice it...and when we with the purest of intentions and as a connoisseur of art and beauty notice it we are branded as bastards and sex maniacs... come on gals u can't be so hypocrite..


And also...in Delhi here...some sizes are beyond measurement...when the alpha numeral series exhaust...ha ha ha *naughty wink*

I thought there was a Clearasil n then 32 n then 34 n then 36 n then 38 n then unnecessary-excessive-madness and fake beyond that*...hehehe

And Suruchi, when you are kinda molested in these way next time around, you better temmie..i would be glad to help you out with the stuff u know.. Thank you mat bolna plz... Dost aakhir hote kis liye hain...*wink*

and yea, bigger is not always better..You may be banned, you created a laughter riot at my place..

Enjoyed it to the fullest..!

suruchi said...

Arre Anand...
Ab 'thank u' bolne bhi do yaar...
U have been so generous in extending your helping hand*I am sure it comes along with the rest of the body*

Waise there is a queue again*like there was after the post on the ultimate bitch/seductress:

http://mytumblingthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/08/ultimate-seductress-or-ultimate-bitch.html

I am glad u enjoyed it...better to have laugh riots than any other ones;-)

sobhit said...

ROFLMAO....men's obsession wid boobies.. dey say grass is alwaz greener on d odr side.. in dis case hopefully d GRASS wont come in2 play..(n i made it a point 2 spell come n not write it as cum.. 4 wot ideas u can get ... ram ram :P :P)
was reminded f a dialogue 4m FRIENDS wen joe goes of 2 say how dat women r so lucky dey can look at boobies any tym dey wnt.. jst look dnw n der dey r... :P

now dats u in ur real substance.. welcome back woman... ;p
hahahahahahahhahahahaha woman on woman action :P... 4 ages dat has been a gr8 turn on 4 men ... ur post seems 2b goin 2d fancy world... n lucky u .. opps rathr ur hands :P.. seems w1 was very keen on u touchin her .. rathr hers :P :P... now d female fan followin 2.. way 2go woman..only here d fan seems 2b a lil more deeper in2 u.. or tryin 2mk it odr way round :P.. round indeed i hope dey were :P :P LOL

BVR.. hahaha funnny ..mayb d female expcted u 2 cup her n knw d size urself :P.. dat wud hv been sm expertise
u get 2 feel d odr woman 2??? (here expct a aaoooooooooo noise d way wolfs make it :P as in make d noise ... n d panting tongue )pheewwww ur 1 lucky creature my frnd.. (tho u myt think dat,, but ask d millions f men arnd :P)


hohohoho.. awesum where r des women who mk u cup n den press dem hard??? wot gr8 company u hv lady .. no wonder ur hubby wud b going bizarre in his head... 4 dat cud b warning 4 him.. or maby smthin he myt has fancied 4 ages :P :P.... no buns.. opps puns intetntd here ,,,jst gud humour... 4m d in'side' f a man's hrt :P

get scent f d woman of u???? n u hv dat option *sigh* :-/... now u rathr doin it 4 men :P.. hmm fair enuf.. will respect f fact dat ur a woman so d testin myt go bttr wid u wid men... only wot testing... well gud u specified.. tho its no gud .. 4 ghoor kalyug hai :P.. how i wish der cud b a touch pass vibration therapy.. hi wait i think der jst myt b 1 ;p ;P

PS : interesting insights seem missing 4m dis post .. wud b very kind f u 2 go in2 sm more details.. n if u cud upload a pic f all ur ladies gang in dis scn here :P :P.... hmmm 2much 2 ask 4 mayb... but dis leaves 2 much 2 imagine doesnt it :P.. n wid ur post der is no boundary f imagination ... ma wondering wondering wondering :P :P hehehe nah guess d funny elemnt tks d upper "HAND" (n not d hand doing all d cupping n touchin :P) in dis battle of d same sexes :P... n u got 2b d judge.. wow.. any guy wud luv 2 get a job wid d organization such as BVR :P..
no wonder y ppl cant help falling in luv wid u :P ... arnd u... 4u... any dbts evr left r now washd asyd by d 33 34 ladies f urs :P :P..or rathr shud i say r now pressd hard by des ladies hihi... :P

suruchi said...

Sobhit...
Phew!
I guess u really got stuck somewhere there in between:-)

Thanks man...
I don't know what to say now...
Glad that you enjoyed it...more than me of course;-)

P.S.1 those insights...hmm...now now..what would be left for imagination then;-)

P.S.2 Thanks for being so consistent with applauding for my madness:-))

sobhit said...

no no u njyd d most my frnd :P :P... n imagination toh dnt ask can go way beynd jst d lines n in btween d lines :P :P... rest u desrve btrr appluases 4 ur expertise.. now proved evn by d women folks :P

Nicole said...

ROFLMAO..This was so funny...thankgoodness my friends havent asked me to touch their 'assets' yet. Sharm ki koi cheez hai na? Che! It wud be so humiliating.

Pavitra .... said...

Hahahahahha.....awesome post!!
Touchy moments!!! :D
Too good!! I'm glad I visited your blog....blogrolled you!!!

buckingfastard said...

mrs.arora my college is going to ban your blog!!!

pls pls i beg of u pls tell me it was all fiction and i can rest my mind for rest of my life and assume women in ladies room discuss only new food recipes!!!

my fantasy list:

1>somersault on moon
2>be a mute spectator of female breast measurement session
3>pee on north pole

so i m just gonna assume like other fantasies this is also something impossible and it was just a april fool prank(fingers crossed)

abd btw...wats wid women and boobs..wats point 2 size short revealing undergarments wen i cant look and touch nything except my gf's hand except fr moments wen she is generous

Hopeless Romantic said...

Cleavage circle, OMG…and u actually touched the breast….*rolling eyes*
My reaction was same too…when the hell size 33 came in. And if there was, they should have publicised BIG time, after all its men who have to gift at times, kitni fight ho jati hain pata hain size galat ho jaye to ;-)
“Khabardaar jo kisse ne mere biwi ko haath lagaya...err...se haath lagwaaya!” ROFL
Awesome pervert post….i LIKE! I also want a touchy experience :P

suruchi said...

@Sobhit...
Thank u thank u...
Does that mean I am both genders approved now?
Please don’t say tried n tested, before I start having doubts about myself only;-)
Thanks for that applause from ur end...always keeps me going to push/grab the envelope just a little bit more;-)

suruchi said...

Hey Nico...
Glad u laughed...
Sharam koi cheese nahi hote...n agar hote to bhi koi na...bread pe lagake kha lete...cheese khatam n kahani khatam:-)

It was not so horrendous...
Actually I guess people kinda look upto me now for expertise opinion on just about everything...
They know that I would either know about it or pretend to..and in any case i’d at least be fair...:-)
So want some more opinions?;-)

P.S. welcome to India soon:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Pavitra...
*I would have commented upon those hot sexy legs on the profile pic...but after my action packed adventure just enumerated here...I better refrain before women start avoiding me altogether with their suspicious caps on*

So...by the way...hot sexy legs on the profile pic;-)
Glad u found me..
Stay around:-)

suruchi said...

Dear, dear BF,
*please don’t call me Mrs Arora...I almost turn around every time someone says that to check if my mom-in-law’s turned up n being addressed*

Please don’t ban me either...

Btw...your COLLEGE reads me...hmm...nice*say they do, even if they don’t...mera comment page hain...ab baizatti ho jaayege:-)*

It was not ALL fiction u know...all bole to...how do u know that MORE did not happen there that I deliberately evaded from disclosing here;-)

Stop crossing your fingers*u can do much better with them for sure*

Ur fantasy list is interesting...
Glad to know I feature in it...*actually squeezing myself in*

And when u ask that whole question about ur galfriend n u...
O Boy...
Ur galfriend n u got issues....
I think u need private counselling sessions...
U’d have to come here*when she is generous* n show me to prove the point before I could answer any further ;-)

suruchi said...

Tch, tch...
Hopeless romantic Amit...
*thanks for accepting the threat calls I made to u to bring you here...next time oblige before the calls warna aapke supaari pukke*

33 ka confusion...Hain na!
And u are quite a gifter....hmmm....;-)
I wonder the process of u though going to a lingerie shop for the needful....a new blog post on it, what say Amit?;-)

Thanks for finding it awesomely pevert...I try very hard not to disappoint;-)

And touch....hmmm...u touch millions of hearts anyways with ur romance*too bad they are covered with clothes at that time* Aur kya chahiye ek aadmi ko?;-)

menkah!! said...

Ha! What an awkward/silly/funny situation! I'd never be able to HANDLE it so well! :P (pun intended)

suruchi said...

Hey Menkah...
I finally get to talk to u too...
I am so glad AG recommended u to me*btw he's super praises about u..he thinks u are the wonder woman...n no, me not wondering why at all...u totally deserve it*

I saw ur pics on his profile n immediately told him that u are hot n cute n one of a kind:-)

Will visit ur blog more seriously soon...
P.S. There's nothing that YOU with all ur spunk n cool quotient can't handle;-)

Niraj said...

I am just speechless....Lol no words to describe it..!!

Regards
Niraj
masallalemonade.blogspot.com

suruchi said...

U were reading me Niraj...when I was reading u...just commented on the pic:-)

N the speechless part...ya, ya...I sometimes have that effect on guys;-)
Thanks for stopping by:-)

AJai said...

oh... i also wanted to add... that i wish i was as touched by the whole thing as you were. but i feel so far far away. :(

AJai said...

why don't women consult with the experts. don't go looking... here i am! :)
but seriously, i would have done anything in the world to have changed positions(figuratively) with you there. ;)

mohit said...

hmm... gotta tell ya...like the way u tackle touchy topics (no pun intended !)

awww....now aren't you having just the worst streak of luck.... not.


Perhaps you'd always been thought of as someone neutral and hence the role of the judge came to you

we ain't complaining though

:P

shikha said...

tell me u made it all up !! this cudnt have happened..

33...OMG..."the kind that you’d probably see on Shaheed Bhagat Singh’s face in movies when he’d say ‘I am an Indian’*: I am a 33."

suruchi...i am still laughing...

imagining u "my hands outstretched like a scarecrow’s...each cupping one out of two pairs of womanly breast and I don’t know where to look and how much to grasp!"
oh lord above....iss ladki ka kuch karo !!!!!!!
love ur expression (as always)
i hope the "tested"ladies read this blog !!!!

suruchi said...

@AJai...hello,
Women don’t consult with experts coz they at first try the rough drafts...unse kaam chal sakta hain then why to go in for experts’ advice which would cost them much more in kinds (figuratively)
And when u say doing “anything” in the world to change places with me....hmmm...now I am seriously wondering;-)
Awww...and distances really don’t matter...it’s the thought that counts, right?;-)

Thanks for visiting...hope to see ya around:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Mohit...:-)
I remember how u mentioned on ur blog last time that u wanted to be a humorous writer...so wanted to say there*I think I did too* that this kinda humour is good for giggles...urs is good for smiles:-)

N I like touching touchy topic*no puns intended there either*
Try to make them funny without me sounding vulgar...
I hope I do an okay job of it:-)
N yup...I have kinda been a judge in most things*without being judgemental* so they thought the gyaani-dhyaani me could come to their rescue:-)

Jack said...

Suruchi,

Best of luck for the next meeting. Hope you have experience of only what you want to have. It was a very witty post and am still chuckling.

Left reply to your view on my post and waiting for your views on my latest post.

Take care

suruchi said...

Hi Shikhu...
Well anything we do or do not do is really made up in the end or rather “faction”...a word I just learnt from a dear blogger...which implies partly fact n partly fiction...now it’s upto the reader to guess which part;-)

Waise half of my dear readers are so interested in knowing if this really happened...why can’t this really?
It is not a secret that women depend on each other for knowing n handling the best n worst of themselves...

Btw...lord bhi is ladki ka kuch nahi kar sakte...pehle pata to chale ke karna kya hain;-)

Part of the “tested” ladies clan has gone through this...the rest are too bothered about what we’ve discussed here, to notice;-)

suruchi said...

Hello Jack...
Thanks for the good wishes...I often wish of so many things that I want to have and experience...I guess God gets a little picky when it comes to me...I am not complaining though...
It’s all a part of a day’s work...some laughs n some tears:-)

Glad u enjoyed it...and so much more glad that it didn’t leave u horrified...
Would check your posts soon:-)
Thank u:-)

blunt edges said...

lol...how freaking hilarious was that!

hats off 2 your awesome sense of humor the cheeky innuendos that fill up the post :D

ps: would have given up my right arm 2 be in your shoes (yeah i could very well be M4) ;)

suruchi said...

Hi Blunt Edges...
Hmmm...one man's agony is another man's pleasure...
Err...correction...one woman's stiffening is another man's uprising...LMAO*I don't believe I just said that*

When someone proposes me with a "hats off" offer*which is very often btw* I also recommend my preferences for more than JUST hats...but since u are new around here...I'd manage with your hats for now;-)

P.S.I already have an overflowing amount of right arms...do u think u could dig deeper*in ur pockets that is* to come up with something better?;-)

Weirdo guy said...

you do realise you just described every heterosexual man's dream dont you ???

:P

man are there going to be a lot of jealous people after reading this !!

Lincoln said...

lucky lady :P :P :P , it was a hilarious post :).. I too want attend these type of knowldege sharing meetings ;)

Cinderella said...

Su...you are unbelievable! LMAO.

You know what you are right...its actually the women who are abso-fckn-lutely obsessed with their jugs.

I'll tell you a recent incident. As I recall from a previous boob post of yours I'd told you about this girl in my circle who has these huge horrible jugs that walk 2 feet ahead of her n she never leaves a chance of talkin about them. She has bulbs like around 38 I guess...she says its 36 though.

Now she comes to my place to borrow smth for a party at her place n she picks a dress that I have grown out of myself. She somehow pushes herself into the dress and walks off into the living n asks my brother how she looks. My brother is too busy watching tv n says nothing. She leaves with the dress n some accessories to go with it. Same night bro n me havin dinner n outta the blue he says, "so she took that dress?"
me:yeah. Thatnkgod she didnt take any of my tees, else after she'd have worn it, my tees would have gotten incapacitated to make me look good. So I'm glad.
Bro: Whats with those thingies anyway? Man, never have a pair of those thingies evoked a sense in me that go by the name U-G-H ever!
me:(Rolling on the floor) Oh yeah, dont tell her though, she thinks they're fabulous. And I'm gonna let her be!


So you see how it happens! And hey I didn't know either there was a 33...all i know was they come in even numbers...with sidelings as A B or C. No?

Fun post anyway!!! YOu always make me retrospect Su..lol !!

Sorcerer said...

Lol

First time here and this made me Lol..
hilarious

sulagna ™ said...

errr...you were molested??? han??? damn...and how did i miss this "big one " for so long :) and yes..i agree you were molested..poor baby...did the clearsil chic realise she "manchester united" reincarnated ??

and ohh dont worry hun...just keep your mind normal with such people around::) all the best all the best and remember we love you n will hold your hands always

suruchi said...

Hey WG...waise I prefer AG or Archie...
But then naam mein kya rakha hain jab aapke kaam itne cute hain;)

N nope I did not realize that I was describing/ living every metro sexual man’s dream by a mere touch...though now I know every metro sexual man has nothing better to do than dream of this!:/

My god...the boob fixation u guys have!
N we can’t even complain...as long as it proves you are straight*one never knows about that now-a-days...wtf...I am just rambling nonsense here*

There are a whole lot jealous people...also those who are queuing up to change places with me for my next outing...
I guess u want me to put your name in too, right?:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Lincoln....
Tick...check...name entered on the list of those who are requesting for attendance to these ‘knowledge sharing’ meetings....
*kindly mention how you are willing to reciprocate to put u higher up in preference on the list*

suruchi said...

Hey Cin...
Always great to see ya hear...
When I was writing this I was remembering u telling me about how once your mum asked u to pad up the butt for wearing a saree...
Now that was butt naturally n this is boo(m)b-astic...

And the hilarious incident you mentioned here...I am sure some of the guys would have eyes popping out at the mere mention of 38 bulbs n jug;-)But are u sure your bro was really so busy in watching tv that he didn’t notice? Hmm...here’s a man of substance:-))

N it’s fun to retrospect na;-)
Thanks for always popping into my comment box...
And now also on Facebook *yiyee yiyeee*
:-)

suruchi said...

Hey Sorcerer...
Are u as magical as your name? Hmm...got to check out now;-)
Thanks for stopping by n also for the “lols”
I’m glad u liked it n do come again:-)
*now I almost sound like a steward at the reception desk of a hotel...:/*

suruchi said...

Hi Su...
I was not molested yaar....I think it was the other way ‘round’ now...with no puns on the rounds;-)
Clearsil chick did not realize anything...I realised that we all have at least one thing “big” in life...butt/boob/mouth...
I guess I have all the wrong ones:(

Waise I was not worried yaar...
I managed to reach where no man has gone before n look at the envy I have generated....so feeling kinda ‘neighbour’s envy, owner’s pride’ syndrome..;-)

I love u too*n yup now I notice the ladies offering me hands only n no hugs...haha*:-)

savvy said...

A total laughter riot, this post certainly gave us guys a "peek" to women's world. The lines were witty and though it is my first time at your Blog, i think i will keep coming for more "peeking". .

suruchi said...

Hi Savvy...
Thanks...I am glad to have caused the laughters...
Mere dukh mein duniya waale kitneeeeee kush hain...
Chalo...khush rahe duniya...mera kya hain...aise he kaat lenge..lolzzzzzzz
;-)

Please keep coming n coming again n again for more peeks;-)

Mani Lalwani said...

Still lol'ing ... Still shaking.... (no pun intended, I swear!)
hehe loved the post ! AWESOME! (By AWESOME plz read it as font size 72, bold & Caps lock...)

These touchy experiences must have made you the attention centre of evry tom , dick (pun intended this time!) & harry in the party ! ! Consider My sincere sympathies.. :p

and btw I have moved on to my new blog domain.. www.devillishinnocence.blogspot.com
Last one is inactive 4 a looooooooong (see I stretched it too 4 ur better understanding) time now :D

will love to hear ur comments on the above said blog :p
cheers!

Mani Lalwani said...

sum1 missed my comments at both the posts... so bad.. :p

suruchi said...

Hi Mani...
Gawsh...n I thought I was the queen of puns*bowing down master*
:-)
Thanks for the praise...
Mein phoole nahi sama rahe...
no puns intended for now:-)

Will check your new space soon:-)

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