Amazing people who make me go on n on n on:)

09 July, 2010

I am Crushed-Yiy, yiy, yiy!


I have a big, fat, humungous, whopping, dinosaur-ic crush! I needed to supply so many adjectives above to emphasize on the urgency of the situation because otherwise small, tiny, miniscule, trivial, miniature crushes are an everyday ritual with me. Yes people, in my last post I mentioned why we need a husband husband happy-check and here please let me not leave the gyan incomplete and enlighten you also on the necessity of needing a “crush” to keep you from being crushed when ghar ke murgi becomes daal baraabar whatever the connotations there you may assume.

Most of the romantic flicks tell you to close your eyes and you’d see the image of that special someone whom you truly love. Now a word of warning-these stunts are performed by experts and can be dangerous, if tried at home without professional guidance and lead to misguided inferences. Why I say so?
For when I tried doing the same...I mean I closed my eyes and waited for a face...Waaaaaaaaaaiting....Aaaaaaaaaaand....
Voila!
Wtf!
There was a bloody party!
Bah!
Dumb love stories?
Naah!
Dumb reality!

I tell you it’s bloody too much to expect in kalyug for eyes to drop when you view a tempting dish cross your path. Even for a “Bharatiye, Pativrata, abla, sarv gun sampannaari like me. Please don’t ask me to translate that...there’s something called drama for heaven’s sake. And the object of my affection is a geek god cum Greek god at my gym. Mmmmm! I have seen him grow. Please don’t get me wrong my dear one-track minded friends. I mean, I was there when this boy came! Uff, I think I am still not ‘raising’ the right picture, am I?

Okay, cut to a few months back...
Me doing my regular thingy in the gym nopes, that does not mean “not exercising” so wipe off that grin and the door opens...
In comes with a hawa ka jhooka, as if in a slow motion Yashraj movie- A sweet, introvert looking kinda gawky twenty something of a boy!

A bottle water bottle for Christ’s sake in one hand and a napkin offo, a regular male napkin in another! About 5 feet 9 or 10 inches that’s his height dodos....please note the usage of “feet” there  and milk white skin. As against the black as tar counterparts already in the gym, he was literally a bright ray of sunshine. He had spectacles on his cute countenance and so dismissed by me based on face value as another wanna-be gym-goer. He also had a sombre, no faltu-baat demeanour to boot!

Okay and cut to now...
Me doing my regular thingy in the gym-yup, that means ogling at him every once in a while through the many mirrors, otherwise persistently drooling dil he dil mein and sighing. And he’d be pumping weights ooh...couldn’t I have been that dumbbell curled in his wrist?  His facial muscles stretched to perfection on his taut cheek bones. His little jersey clings to his well chiselled frame, sweat pours like drops of manna off his forehead, muscles ripple through his arms and everywhere else. His walk is suddenly super sexy and confident, skin glowing to a more manly white whatever that is supposed to mean And those spectacles are not adorning his face while he works out.

Aaaah! The pain in the heart taking me straight to my favourite mode-‘The What-If mode’! What-if he was older or better still I were younger? What if he was floored by me too silently in heart of heart or what if I was not married?
What if someday a wall in the gym falls and he comes just in the nick of time to save me by taking the bricks on his solid shoulders and I get up to say “Thank you! You saved my life.” And he says, “How could I not? Your life is not yours alone from now on!” and we get lost in each other’s eyes...

You think THIS thought is ridiculous?
Well hear this then. Some years ago, I remember watching Kuch Kuch Hota Hain and thinking of some Prince Charming coming to drag me off my shaadi ka mandap and putting me on a white horse and taking me away to live happily ever after. Never mind if I had no boyfriend or even a crush in consideration who would show any possibilities of such insanity and never mind either that the idea of getting on that white horse is matter of a completely hypothetical situation and never mind to the heights that my Prince Charming that is my dearly beloved was already waiting at the altar.

Alright shut up dream sequences-back to reality*bursting all my thought bubbles...boo hoo*

So do you get the picture now of how this boy next door looks-the forbidden apple, that could very well turn me into Eve! His transformation leaves me breathless. It’s like Peter Parker turning into Superman! I know Peter Parker was Spiderman dearies...But I think Peter Parker was more geeky for reference’s sake than Superman as the regular guy and alrite sue me for I don’t remember Superman’s name as the regular guy. I have better things to do on this planet now than remember the name of a superhero when he’s not even one. How duh can that be!

Without his spectacles and the newly found body it was not lost anywhere, just properly emerged in all its glory he is a treat to tired eyes and well even if they aren’t tired, I make sure they do get after my work out in the gym. I don’t know his name or religion or profession or age. But then age no bar caste no bar sex no bar. I mean sex as in the gender...Ache cheez ke taareef karne ke liye bas!

 So while my students had also trickled during summer vacations, I basked in my evening sessions at the gym and hence my crushing began! Vacations over-evening classes on again-so back to gyming in the morning....
And my choti se love story gets nipped in the bud!

P.S. Author subjected to high risks of hyper exaggerations!
(Family reading this-happy-check)
;-)


63 comments:

HaRy!! said...

yur students... yu a teacher?

Cinderella said...

My latest object of crush - Abhay Deol. Effin hot.

Nostalgic said...

Aww, nice humor there. Mi likes :) and i feel sad for your ah-mazing love story getting a 'full-stop', nevermind, hon.. HOTA HAY =D

Mr. "Niraj" Lemon said...

he he he...ek choti si love story...nice one..i m just assuming that if that guy also write a blog on this topic..what exactly it would be...ek dam filmy situation..wat say...

rainboy said...

hehe :P
I think your husband needs to come to gym with you :P
hahaha

buckingfastard said...

see i was away fr 2-3 days...and u were writing praises abt ur husband!! and i m bak and u bak to being crushy..tch tch!! i m a bad influence on u!!

and yea..i better be reading posts on female curves rather than male curves :|

and wats wid gals wid muscular men!! lets reach a pact..we wont question u abt ur growing waistline..and u dont question us abt potbellies...its easier dat way!!

Nipun said...

Quite humorous....
I must say that some lines were not intended for the meaning they conveyed in real..

Nice chhoti si love story..:)

Cheers

Nuts

Ria said...

My latest crush: Well its a tie between Abhay Doel n Ranbir Kapoor!! :P

Madhu said...

awle.. thats sad no? But hey, we are open to more coming our way..Cmon am sure u will pick someone else up soon..Oh! Is that place taken by ur hubby now?

Btw,ur blog is not a family blog i know..:P I can still rant about those teeny things we love discussing about but dont do it for the society sake**

loved the way u wrote..ill slip back into my coffin,..may be my raja will still take me out of it!
]
hugs sis!

♥ Chocolate lover ♥ said...

awesome xD haha! :P

Javeria [Ria] said...

hiii suru ji.....
gym mai toh aajkal bahut aankhon ki kasrat hori hai........

♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ ayu ♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ said...

well.having a crush is a wonderful feeling!! keep enjoying the moments!! :D

voicefromadistantstar.blogspot.com

Anand Madhav said...

I am sure, when this "Bharatiye, Pativrata, abla, sarv gun sampan" nari is not busy teaching students she is either in the GYm or walking..and that translates into crushes and clinical examination of walking styles.

Nice and honest read, more so because of the dramatic effects. Wanna try Saas-Bahu flicks, I am sure you can write amazingly dramatic screenplays... Modern Day Bahus having crushes in Gym...Ha ha

Enjoyed it..!

Nishant Singh said...

Nice Read! Hahaha. I know quite a few Bhartiya ABla Naris who have been crushed this way!!!

DG said...

Awesome!!!! Enjoyable read to the core. :)

suruchi said...

Hi Hary....
Yup...I am kalyug ke “kaksha-dhaari” as a dear friend with little knowledge of Hindi calls me...
I tell him it is “adhyapika” for a teacher and he forgets n returns to kaksha-dhaari:/

Anyways...I teach English to kids of classes 1 to 12:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Cin...
Yup...Abhay Deol is haaaaaawt!
There’s a weird combination of boy next door along with a sexy oomph in this guy!
Rare it is!:-)

suruchi said...

Hey Nostalgic...
Yup...I feel sad too...at least until the next object of crush comes along;-)

And my ah-mazing love story ke hero ko bhi nahi pata how amazing this love story could have been!
Tch, tch!;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Niraj,
Wow...you know I could give my right hand, right eye n right leg and right EVERYTHING to know what that guy thinks...
I mean the only thing I said to him during all this time...when he was looking at the dumbbells kept near me and I said “I’m done...u can take them”
How f@#$ing lame is that!:/

Mera kuch nahi ho sakta*just to add to the filmy touch;-)*

suruchi said...

Hi Rainboy...
I also think my husband needs to come to the gym...
Sometimes jealousy works as a faster catalyst in bringing people together than mere drooling does;-)

Besides I lure him into it, after narrating stories of some “item” women there too...but kuch logo ke kismet mein sirf once in a lifetime ke he ache cheez likhe hote hain*read that as “me”;-)*

suruchi said...

Hi Bucking...
U certainly are a bad influence on me!
Did I tell you I had a H-U-G-E crush on you too!
*please notice the HAD against the HAVE;-)*

And since you were not around*where the f@#$ have you been btw?* I had no choice but to let my eyes wander on other poor souls;-)

You bring out the “crushing” desires in me;-)

Oho...and it won’t hurt the “macho” you to read about male curves for a change;-)
After all...is there anything about female forms that still remains hidden from thou?

And done deal about that pact...
But that guy ain’t muscular...
For all you know...he’d probably look like how you do in this display picture...minus the stupid hand covering half the face!:/

Better stay around now!
*Just wondering...do u even read these long mush-dipped answers I write to you here?*

suruchi said...

Hi Nipun...
Thank you...
Humour is the way we console ourselves when our choti se love stories get screwed;-)

And what is life n what are lines without puns and intended meaning:-)

Cheers to you too n thanks for stopping by:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Ria...
A tie between Abhay n Ranbir...
Hmmm...and if there is just this tie-thingy here is the between both these gentlemen...we are not complaining;-)
All puns intended!:-)

suruchi said...

Hey Mady...
We are definitely open to more coming our way as we truly believe in some nerd who said for proverb’s sake:
The more the merrier!;-)

And my blog is soooooo family-visited...
I have some of my sisters-in-law, brothers-in-law, my nephews n nieces from my husband’s side visiting this space...
But then they all know by now I am all smoke n no fire:/*boo hoo*

So go on rant whatever comes to your mind n society be damned...
Hum to aise he hain bhaiyya...
Take it or leave it!:-)

Waise bhi aap kuch bhi kar lo...u'd never please EVERYONE!
Hugs n love baby...bahuuuuut saara:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Choco Lover...
Thank u baby...
You are awesome too like all the chocos around u:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Javeria..
Yeh “ji” kisko bola yaar?
Mere ass-pass to sirf ek he G hain...mere woh ji;-)

Ji bilkul...gym hain he kasrat karne ke jagah...
Aur aankhein bhi to body ka hissa hain...
Unke kasrat theek se hue to poore roam-roam mein khushi ke leher rahege;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Ayu...
Yup...crushes are wonderful..till you don’t get crushed that is...
But then...the whole world is waiting for you out there!

If at first u don’t succeed...try, try again!;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Anand...
The “bharatiye, Pativrata, sarv gun sampan” naari says thank you to you...
Only you could recognise my genius and capabilities!;-)

Drama is my forte!
But saas-bahu flicks are beyond me!
Sauce n laho is more like it...you know that khoon paseene baha ke kamaye hue sauce of life;-)

Thank u!:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Nishant...
Thanks for the laughter...
Actually most Bhatatiye Abla Naris are crushed this way...
The scope n potential remains latent...thankfully!;-)

suruchi said...

Hi DG,
Wow..thank you so much...
I am glad you liked it..hope to see you around:-)

Rishi said...

gym... that's like the ultimate place to get crushes... I've had like 2-3 each day... sad that i've now left it for other things....

PS: congrats ...

http://theparanormalguy.blogspot.com/

Sovina said...

oh wow! lot of things to say on this one..

first are you a teacher? in the gym..super cool..

second...you painted such a picture of the guy that it seems i am already having a crush on him

third, these short crushes are super cool and i think to a certain extent they keep you romantic and keep the spark in your relationship too...for instance when i like a guy or have a crush on an actor(read abhay deol..not sunile shetty), i do appreciate the person in front of my husband..

fourth ..loved the post :)

sovina

Americanising Desi said...

you are a gym instructor? super awesome! and then all this what you said i just cant stop giggling - you are too cute with words honestly!

"You bring out the “crushing” desires in me;-)"

sighhh!!! and I thought I'd killed it!

Sundararajan said...

Hey ! A funny yet good reading. Shall I say I liked it.

Work From Home

buckingfastard said...

@suruchi: 1stly dat was an insult to consider dat i dont read the repliesc :P and trust me i hav been lot more around ur blog last few days than u can possibly imagine :)

see he cant be like me!! last time i went to gym in college was wen dere was weightlifting competition and dey gave away free snacks!!

hmm...maybe i should come out with my real identity now...it gets tiring that ppl confuses me as someone great and CRUSH me with crushes :P

but on second thoughts....alias is soo much fun!! so no..i m gonna stick around with my fake identity :D

Choco said...

Hahaaa...You sure are observant. You ermmm...noticed so so much about that guy :D

Family reading this - Lol :)

suruchi said...

Hi Rishi...
Wow...and I used to think gym would be the last place to get crushes....what with everybody being sweaty or grotesque to look at...
But seems like true now;-)

And 2-3 crushes each day...whoaaa...that’s like breaking all my records:-)

Thank you...and you know you are more talented than me anyday!
So it’s just a matter of time that u’d be there on Blogadda too:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Sovi...
Wow again...
I love it when people have a lot of things to say in the comment box*makes my unending jabbering look justified;-)*

And a teacher in the gym is not super cool..it’s the mother of invention...for occupational hazards make me sit on my bum and dig into books...hence the gym becomes a necessity:-)

And about the guy...I know...wish I could click a picture of him n put up*sigh*

And Abhay Deol seems to be the flavour of the season!
What with all hot gals hooting for him*thank god Suneil Shetty phase is gone;-) hehe*

Thank u...my husband n me discuss the “items” that we see around...every time we go around...places that is;-)

suruchi said...

Hi AD,
No baba...not a gym instructor...
I am a teacher...teaching English to students from home...more like coaching...
Gym is something that I do on the side to keep amused n with the timy vestige of hope that someday I’d move closer to size 01 than 10*an exaggeration again...I must specify before u faint:-)*

Go ahead...get crushed...as long as it’s not under a van..it is soooooooo much fun!;-)

Hi Sundararanjan,
Please say that you like it...don’t ask me for permissions for otherwise I might suggest 15 more lines to emphasize how much you like it;-)

Thank you...hope to see you around!:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Choco...
Yup...very observant...
In fact sometimes I fear if I observe to dedicatedly and with all my concentration, I fear I might discover a power of looking within clothes! But due to fear of consequences and hazardous insights...I let the urge pass;-)

And family does read this...honestly;-)
Thanks for stopping by:-)

Jack said...

Suruchi,

OMG! What a hilarious read! And with so much of tongue in cheek talk. You have a knack of making even a dour faced person smile. Keep it up, I mean writing such pieces.

Take care

PS : Not seen you lately?

Sakshi said...

AAye, haaye main mar jaawan for all the obvious reasons...!!! :P

blunt edges said...

hahahaha...the bharatiya, pativrata line really cracked me up...hilarious all the way through! :D

like a wise man (read Mr. Blunt Edges) said "crush na umar dektha hai na maang ka sindoor, dektha hai toh sirf hotness quotient" ;)

sulagna ™ said...

Suuuu**laughing** its all allowed ya...i slurp over abhay deol in front of G and he slurps about Scarlet Johansen :) tera gym wala ka number hai kya???

Bikramjit said...

HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA lest i say anymore ...

well as the above comment Everything is fair in love and war.. to kya umar ka tagaza.. aap Pooch hi lo us-se...

Loved this story.. awwwwwwww sad sad though... Now i am wondering why in mornings there are hardly any cheerful ladies its cause .. they have had to change there schedule from evening where all this CRUSH CRUSH was going on and they have had to come in mornings

ahhhh DAMN... i need to change my schedule now , go in evenings.. Greek good nahin hoon.. but
kahin na kahin to
koi na koi to

might like this punjabi jatt Singh, kya pata bhai meri kismat bhi jaage :)

but socha jaye to why are there no lady trainers to help me push those weights ... i also need some crushes :)

suruchi said...

Whoa hi Bucking...
I get you again on the comment box*looks out of the window to check if the sun is shining as it normally does or did it really come out of East today*

Hehe...
Okay...I am so honoured that you do!
And sorry for the insult*here I thought I was the only one who did drama...bows down to the king*

And if you say that I can’t possibly imagine how much you’ve been around my blogs then I don’t mind being enlightened!;-)

Weight lifting competition....hehe...and free snacks...wow!
For somebody who is so super duper awesomely funny on my comment section...I sometimes wonder how you are so serious on your own blog page!
I guess that’s the reason what makes you so adorable and me follow you to the extent of being called stalking!:-)

You are someone great...so alias or real u...makes or rather should make little difference...
Once a fan...always will be!
And yup this is reallyyyyyyy fun!
I’ll stick to it too*abhi gym wala nahi mila...to kam se kam aapko to haath se nahi jaane dena chahiye na...no puns intended;-)*

suruchi said...

Hi Jack...
Wow...such sweet things you always have to say to me:-)
So keeping it up...I mean writing such pieces too...
Actually there’s nothing else that I do quite as well as creating laughters out of my own misery:-)

Thank you for staying around...
And as for visiting u...didn’t realize there was an update..must have missed it...would be there now:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Sakshi...
Na na...mar na mat...for all the obvious reasons...
Mein pehle he mare hue hoon;-)

Okay theek hain...Shayon se permission leke dono saath mein marte hain is hunk ke liye;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Blunts...
The Bharatiya Pativrata naari line cracked you up?
Matlab is mein koi shaq hain?
Look at my innocent face...Can anyone say otherwise?;-)

So Mr. Wise man...wow for that awesomely wise quote...
Anyways agar crush maang ka sindoor dekhta to bechaara dekhta he rah jaata kyonki aaj kal to koi sindoor lagata he nahi na...
Ufff...I know...poor joke!;-)

So theek hain then...since I get your approval...
Mein Geeta pe haath rakh kar kasam khaate hoon...mein jab bhi karonge...crush hoke karonge...uske alwaha mein kuch nahi karonge;-)

P.S. Get down to writing...we miss u!

suruchi said...

Hi Su...
Phew!
Thank god you told me it is allowed...
I was wondering how the married n committed fraternity would respond to this!
But then Abhay Deol again...OH MY GAAAAAAWD!

Though G has great taste...Scarlet Johansen makes me slurp sometimes too...ahem, ahem...;-)

And aree gym wale ka naam to pata nahi...number ghanta pata hoga!:/

suruchi said...

Hi Bikramit,
Ab kya poochon mein...
Kahin bechaare ne gym aana chodh diya yeh soch kar ke “aunties” stalk karte hain...to dekhne ke bhi waande padh jaayenge na:/

Waise I am back to going in the mornings...
Agar kismat mein milna likha hoga*milna as in meeting...isshhh...what u guys think yaar* to shaayad yun he kabhi mil jaayenge;-)

And Greek gods are passé...
Kahin na kahin to koi na koi kya pata aapko dekh ka raise he thande aahen bhar rahe ho!:-)
I wish u all the very best n bundles n loads of crushes:-)

Tamanna A. Shaikh said...

hahaah Suruchi pooff! This is sooo hilarious!! The way you put things can only make me smile!! I know how "important" it is to have crushes and make them known ;)

Weirdo guy said...

most of this is familiar to me already.


ah the joy of knowing the contents of a famous bloggers posts beforehand... ^_^

The (un)Common Woman said...

Nice blog...i am wondering why I didnt come here earlier!

You got a new follower! :)

Tanvi said...

Another riot from you :) It's amazing that you can actually write all this stuff uninhibitedly. I think as honest as I am not sure if I am ready to yet be 'that' honest ;) But ya .... I do objectify women with my husband. I do not mind that at all ...

as for my own object of lust and desire - one and only Hrithik Roshan. There should be a law that everyone woman can kiss him and touch his abs! :P I like his wife, but she is not all that pretty, eh?! :P

Anyhoo... I hope your short love stories continue in and out of gym ;) And you continue to share them with us :P

P.S. Now did you receive my reply to your email?!? :)

Pavitra .... said...

Ooo..!! That was something woman! My latest crush should be Jacob Black from the twilight series...16 years of age and effing hot with six packs....
**Drool**
I loved the way you described everything....haha...
"please note the usage of “feet” there!" Hilarious! You had me in splits!!
Waiting for more of such adventures!!

Anonymous Someone said...

hahahahhaa....a humorous touch to everything. the blend of english and hindi was nice.

Enjoyed reading it,

Cheers
Blasphemous Aesthete

Tanvi said...

Again you disappeared?!!??! You should really inform before you go MIA, you know! ;)

Prateek Sur said...

likes ur posts a lot..first time on ur blog..felt nice that there is someone who writes posts that r longer than mine..following u..try returning the favour..try checking out my blog and try commenting on the posts..
www.headacheandtension.blogspot.com

suruchi said...

Hi Tamanna...
Thank god someone shares my belief on importance of having crushes:-)


@WG...
Gloat...gloat...yup, the joys of actually knowing fellow bloggers are boundless n knowing you is a perfect example:-)


@The(un)Common woman...
Thank u gurl...no sweat...better late than never...
Big welcome with open arms n hope to see u around:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Tanvi,
Being honest is essential for then life becomes really easy...
You don’t have to manipulate or think before speaking...
N people get used to of seeing you so mast n bindaas...so the shock element gradually disappears:-)

N can we share Hrithik Roshan please?
As in sharing in oogling;-)


Hi Pavitra...
Now Jacob Black I need to check out...
I was quite content anyways drooling after Robert Pattinson!
Anyyyways...the more of them, the merrier;)

suruchi said...

@Anonymous Someone...
Thank you for the laughters n praise...
Hope to see you around when more such adventures take place:-)


Hi Prateek,
Thanks for following....
Now following you too:-)
And wow, you write long posts too...then following becomes a must:-)

Ruthless ramblings said...

That was some piece of writing!! You're a drool maniac \m/... Good luck with the macho dude ..I just realised this post's a year old.. Any luck lol?

And your style of writing is nice, frank and has no element of directionless and unecessary BS-ing(Bull $#itting).. supa cool.. similar stuff on my blog. Following ya :D

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