09 June, 2010
Guys, we are up here...not hidden in our shirts!
I was watching this series on the television where this pretty but duh girl visits her college guy friend’s home and rants on n on about her BFF’s and their yawn-ful gossips.
After every five minutes he would excuse himself to go out*not to the wash room, you one track minded people*...out of the house and scream “OH MY GAAAAWD!” to vent out his frustration. Then he would return back, with a calm n smile pasted on his face and again lend his ears to go through the torture of hearing her continue the blabber.
I was wondering why he was going through the torment.
Cut to the scene after the commercial break and both are naked in bed with a huge blanket, revealing only their shoulders upwards anatomy!
And the man, as if having read my thoughts, thinks in his mind...
“Why do I allow this mind churn every day?”
He raises the edge of the blanket....takes a lusty peek at her boobs, gives a shameless grin and reminds himself, “Hmm...Yup, THAT’S why!”
This comes in line of a similar and interesting boys’ view asserted by a dear friend. He recently enlightened me on an important fact of his species’ psychology*of course exceptions exist like every where...WHERE exactly you ask...well, the explorers/scientists/philosophers are still trying to discover or invent that!*
Anyyywaays, he says:
“Boys look for females. When a boy sees one that he likes... and if his eye lids automatically go down*wtf...as in not ‘down to her assets’-does that even need to be specified, but more like sharam se jhuk jaana kinds*...Then consider it as a sure shot point as hell that he is mentally stripping her...
There are three main aims of young*what the heck...even old* boys or reasons for their existence, beyond their control:
Women, breast and sex!”
And to think I hitherto thought it was ‘roti, kapda n makaan’!
Wow! Interesting, you would agree, isn’t it?
What a path breaking analysis...it could help save the world...okay, the sex confused world!
So even if you have any one of the three, don’t lose hope young man...you’d manage to get the other two too!
A new angle to the theory of relativity!
And perhaps if you are that young girl in question and thinking of making him the happiest man on earth by saying “I Love you”, try flashing a boob instead!
I have spoken enough about boobs in many posts*thaaaaaaaaat does not mean I would now show pictures of those to you...so tell those sky rocketing heartbeats to take a halt*
But then is ever too much of boobs enough for the guys?
I mean “the more the merrier” is a proverb that must have been coined by some horny nerd, whose eyeballs would have got stuck at the sight of a bountiful woman and made him repeat the line like a sacred code for many hours afterwards, hoping it would unlock the forbidden mounds!
It’s as though a woman’s breast have secret little inbuilt magnets and at-the-threshold-of-youth/full-bloodied/one-foot-in-the-grave men, all have the counterpart, hyper-active, magnetic implants in the rest of their body*mind you, the whole body is being talked about here, not even being organ specific*
So like that cute Hutch puppy in that ad...everywhere the boob goes, the network follows!
Just to reconfirm about the theory, I queried another dear friend
*what all I have to do to serve and edify my readers...oh god...someday my worth would be realized*
“No...not really! As long as the breasts are extraordinary...they don’t really make us turn”*ya, right...and ‘extraordinary’ would mean here, anything raised even slightly above the surface*
And whose asking about the turns anyways...weren’t we on straightening stuff, instead?
Err... never mind!
I asked my beloved...he is like a connoisseur on breasts!
One good look and he could tell about the history, geometry and geography of it all!
*not really, actually...but I like to use this accusation to emotionally blackmail him...sue me*. But being the extreme n unmentionable edge, his views do not count here*this is a serious n sanctified research for crying out loud and hence I must consider only unbiased resources who are not so much into breasts or at least so they’d want us to think!*
This also reminds me of another cute chick friend of mine, given in to wearing deep v-cut neck dresses...
Me: Well, isn’t that too much of those two peeking out?
She: Well as long as the main points are in control, as much is not too much!
Talk about my enlightment!
Now I am almost imagining what three of my dearest n wittiest readers would have here to say*actually also cringing in fear for my poor legs in anticipation already of them being pulled* by:
The Bald Guy
So then guys...please don’t leave this space without hearing them out also, even if the best of breasts await you! ;-)
And newer, better*even worse* or 50% more*or even less*...any kind of breast woes invited on this forum!
P.S. By now...men n breast...almost sounds synonymous...
And could be actually too!
Well, let’s see how:
1. Having One is better than not having any at all, and if you have two...well, life gets more wholesome!
2. If they are any good, they get you the maximum attention!
3. They work most efficiently when new and young and tend to get droopy with age and use!
4. Sometimes they can get kinda clingy!
5. They have a habit of ‘rising’ to the occasion!
6. Often they tend to throw their weight around!
7. Even the best of them, need supporters!
8. When they are too good...they could leave you speechless in more ways than one!
9. They may not be as err...good*for lack of a better word*from inside as they promise to be from the outside!
10. Okay now I shut up!