Amazing people who make me go on n on n on:)

09 June, 2010

Guys, we are up here...not hidden in our shirts!


I was watching this series on the television where this pretty but duh girl visits her college guy friend’s home and rants on n on about her BFF’s and their yawn-ful gossips.
After every five minutes he would excuse himself to go out*not to the wash room, you one track minded people*...out of the house and scream “OH MY GAAAAWD!” to vent out his frustration. Then he would return back, with a calm n smile pasted on his face and again lend his ears to go through the torture of hearing her continue the blabber.
I was wondering why he was going through the torment.

Cut to the scene after the commercial break and both are naked in bed with a huge blanket, revealing only their shoulders upwards anatomy!
And the man, as if having read my thoughts, thinks in his mind...
“Why do I allow this mind churn every day?”
He raises the edge of the blanket....takes a lusty peek at her boobs, gives a shameless grin and reminds himself, “Hmm...Yup, THAT’S why!”

This comes in line of a similar and interesting boys’ view asserted by a dear friend. He recently enlightened me on an important fact of his species’ psychology*of course exceptions exist like every where...WHERE exactly you ask...well, the explorers/scientists/philosophers are still trying to discover or invent that!*

Anyyywaays, he says:
“Boys look for females. When a boy sees one that he likes... and if his eye lids automatically go down*wtf...as in not ‘down to her assets’-does that even need to be specified, but more like sharam se jhuk jaana kinds*...Then consider it as a sure shot point as hell that he is mentally stripping her...
There are three main aims of young*what the heck...even old* boys or reasons for their existence, beyond their control:
Women, breast and sex!
And to think I hitherto thought it was ‘roti, kapda n makaan’!

Wow! Interesting, you would agree, isn’t it?
What a path breaking analysis...it could help save the world...okay, the sex confused world!
So even if you have any one of the three, don’t lose hope young man...you’d manage to get the other two too!
A new angle to the theory of relativity!

And perhaps if you are that young girl in question and thinking of making him the happiest man on earth by saying “I Love you”, try flashing a boob instead!

I have spoken enough about boobs in many posts*thaaaaaaaaat does not mean I would now show pictures of those to you...so tell those sky rocketing heartbeats to take a halt*

But then is ever too much of boobs enough for the guys?
I mean “the more the merrier” is a proverb that must have been coined by some horny nerd, whose eyeballs would have got stuck at the sight of a bountiful woman and made him repeat the line like a sacred code for many hours afterwards, hoping it would unlock the forbidden mounds!

It’s as though a woman’s breast have secret little inbuilt magnets and at-the-threshold-of-youth/full-bloodied/one-foot-in-the-grave men, all have the counterpart, hyper-active, magnetic implants in the rest of their body*mind you, the whole body is being talked about here, not even being organ specific*
So like that cute Hutch puppy in that ad...everywhere the boob goes, the network follows!

Just to reconfirm about the theory, I queried another dear friend
*what all I have to do to serve and edify my readers...oh god...someday my worth would be realized*
“No...not really! As long as the breasts are extraordinary...they don’t really make us turn”*ya, right...and ‘extraordinary’ would mean here, anything raised even slightly above the surface*
And whose asking about the turns anyways...weren’t we on straightening stuff, instead?
Err... never mind!

I asked my beloved...he is like a connoisseur on breasts!
One good look and he could tell about the history, geometry and geography of it all!
*not really, actually...but I like to use this accusation to emotionally blackmail him...sue me*. But being the extreme n unmentionable edge, his views do not count here*this is a serious n sanctified research for crying out loud and hence I must consider only unbiased resources who are not so much into breasts or at least so they’d want us to think!*

This also reminds me of another cute chick friend of mine, given in to wearing deep v-cut neck dresses...
Me: Well, isn’t that too much of those two peeking out?
She: Well as long as the main points are in control, as much is not too much!
Talk about my enlightment!

Now I am almost imagining what three of my dearest n wittiest readers would have here to say*actually also cringing in fear for my poor legs in anticipation already of them being pulled* by:
Buckingfastard
Blunt Edges
The Bald Guy
So then guys...please don’t leave this space without hearing them out also, even if the best of breasts await you! ;-)

And newer, better*even worse* or 50% more*or even less*...any kind of breast woes invited on this forum!

P.S. By now...men n breast...almost sounds synonymous...
And could be actually too!

Well, let’s see how:
1. Having One is better than not having any at all, and if you have two...well, life gets more wholesome!
2. If they are any good, they get you the maximum attention!
3. They work most efficiently when new and young and tend to get droopy with age and use!
4. Sometimes they can get kinda clingy!
5. They have a habit of ‘rising’ to the occasion!
6. Often they tend to throw their weight around!
7. Even the best of them, need supporters!
8. When they are too good...they could leave you speechless in more ways than one!
9. They may not be as err...good*for lack of a better word*from inside as they promise to be from the outside!
10. Okay now I shut up!

54 comments:

Pavitra .... said...

Haha...That was a scene from Cougar Town wasn't it..??
I saw it recently...Laughed a lot at the scene...And I must say...I couldn't stand her either! So I think I'll give him that one...

Now coming to the topic...you are so very right...Men are really very obsessed with it....and I do mean all men...
Lol at 'the more the merrier'!

PS: My friend has a Tee that reads "I'm up here!"

Tanvi said...

Interesting! ... The way I see it [of course I am a woman] we need breasts of course for anatomical reasons and also we wldn't look good in half the dresses/clothes if we didn't have breasts! Now about men's obsession with them ... dont know ... there are so many theories floating around ... from breast feeding to ... god knows what! ... Who knows?! Oh well, I would like to call up on a guy while he is staring and enjoy watching his whole life flash before his eyes :o)

buckingfastard said...

Ohh such performance pressure I tell u!! just for a breat analysis..tch tch!!

i m watchin a series called Naughty America(yea guys!!keep smirking)...and it starts wid under shoulder nudity...so cant really say much abt the series u r watchin! :|

also i like to point out...dere is no such thing as religion and caste dat divides men...we are basically divided as "ass men" and "boobs men" as in sync wid our fantasies...we both are very differnt species...former walks behind u...latter ask u directions widout looking at ur face!! :)

and why we like breast?..well the whole idea of something without a bone or boner :P pleases us a lot...!! curiosity is the mother of all sexual tension

HaRy!! said...

Has Pamela anderson read this post? :D

Jack said...

Suruchi,

All adorable things attract humans. Factual statements by whosoever has done the research.

Take care

malpani.!! said...

oh come on.. women are as obsessed with breasts as men..
y do u think they ar so obsessed .. its because they know men like it..
so demand meets supply..!!
a full bust attracts men..
y do u think the silicon jobs are so much in demand..
y do u think bombay times show a survey on who has the best cleavage in bollywood..!!
and its not " the more the merrier guy" was horny
but the guy who invented " because size matters " was ten times hornier..!! :P

Dusk said...

Welll...I think men would refer to it as...keeping abreast of the situation... or perhaps mental tittillation? An emotional booby trap?

:)

This is a flyby comment hon, am taking a mini break but the strange thing is, even gay men love breasts! They're obsessed with them! Not just the feminine gay men or gender-confused ones either!

Breasts are all things to all people and they leave us with good mammaries...

baboomtish Okay, enough with the puns.


Cougar Town? yech! I have never watched that show, the title offends me. I LOATHE the connotations of 'cougar'.
Why is that an older* woman who is not afraid to revel in her sensuality is labelled a predator but a man is a stallion?

Ria said...

ha ha!!Men and their obsession with breasts goes back a long way!! I m sure u'll b getting a lot of interesting comments on this post. :P

Niraj said...

he he he..wat to say? i have no comments..By the way i have seen your templates is changing according to the theme of the post...good going..One thing for sure such deep research may gather you a thesis of Ph.d...he he he...

The Bald Guy said...

Yawn.

The Bald Guy said...

You're not considering becoming a lesbian, are you? Better keep you away from my girl then. Sometimes, I doubt her too. She does all sorts of weirdly breastly things you do too!

Sigh.

What is this world coming to?

Shady said...

Men are destined to get caught in booby traps.

suruchi said...

Hi Pavitra,
Yup...Cougar Town, it was...I don’t follow the series, but was channel hopping when I caught a glimpse of Courtney playing a mom to a grown up teenager n my ‘Friends’ fetish made me stay for a while...
It’s difficult to imagine Ross, Joey, Rachael or any of those guys as moms n dads or even grown ups...it is like they reflect us...and how difficult it is to imagine ourselves as all grown up!

Anyyyyyyyyways...now after that digress...let’s get back to boobs!
It is great that you support me in this...
That’s what friends are for!
*Lolssssssssss....I am now remembering a super corny line that I am half tempted to mention here...kya karoon? Bolo ya nahi...what the heck...lemme blurt it out before it chokes me...

Friends are like bras...they support you when you are down and let you be when you want to be by yourself;-)*

suruchi said...

Hi Tan...
When you mentioned “half the dresses” I almost thought in terms of bottom halves n upper halves in dresses and then began to wonder which “half” of those dresses would we not look good in!;-)

N of course we know you are a woman!
One look at your gorgeous profile pic, with just your face would be enough to cause the men to drool and prove false all the ‘men-are-suckers-for boobs-alone’ theory!

suruchi said...

Hey Bucking,
Just for a breast analysis you say???????????
Just...
Just?
Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuust?
*okay I know I overdid it there;-)*
But then this performance pressure is better than many “other” performance pressures, right?;-)
*u soooooooo wanted me to say this...I can almost perceive a devilish grin there;-)*

Under shoulder nudity!!!!! Hmmm...good for you!
You would not believe me if I told you this...but I always divided men into the two slots mentioned by you...the ass guy and the boob guy...
Needless to say whenever I asked someone which category they belonged to out of these...they would show an inclination towards one*upfront that would be* and eventually ask why can’t they have the best of both and darn the idea of choices!

And your last few lines proved what a gem you are when it comes to 100% comment satisfaction...guaranteed ;-)
So performance tension...naaaaaaaaaah no problem!
:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Hary...
Nopes...I don’t think so Pamela Anderson has read this post...

N she won’t be able to either...
I think something coming in between would prevent her from being able to watch the screen;-)

suruchi said...

Hellow Jack...
Awww...only you with all your niceness could call such a thing ‘adorable’...
Otherwise aaj kal key eh bachche...
Ram, Ram!
Ghor kalyug hain!;-)

suruchi said...

Hiyya Malpani...
Now I even know your first name since we are facebook buddies*yiyee yiyee yiyee;-)*
I have to agree with you, that women are equally if not more, obsessed with breasts...yup, even those who are straight*like me...I need to specify that for my dear friend The Bald Guy*

You think “size does matter” was invented by a guy?
Strange...I always thought it would be a girl...I wonder why I thought so now!;-)

Mr Happy said...

oh comon there are still guys like me who gets attracted/flattered by the smile of a girl/women. ;)

Then the rest of process follows :P

btw these days i am noticing that everytime i check out any girl ( by looking at her face :P) , she looks down to see if *they* are intact.

And i say to myself , hello i am still at ur face, i havent gone there yet , why you want to go so early to have a look ;)

And it spoils the whole fun....:)

PS: i dont have to mention the post was awesome, do i ? , i will say it was breastilicious ;)

sulagna ™ said...

ummm...i beg to differ..not ALL men are like that :)

and thank God for that...

suruchi said...

Hi Dusk...
Wow...trust you to come up with better words for just about anything*yup, even the thesaurus on my computer, refused to give me anything beyond breasts for breasts...ironically:-)*

I love the flyby comments too darling, as long as they just don’t fly by and past the comment section;-)
Now I didn’t know that even gay men loved breasts!
Hmm...now I wonder if that would be called the ‘best of both world’s’ situation!:-)

And I looooooooooouve the puns...never enough...like I said...somethings in life simply qualify for ‘the more the merrier’ category!

I too was kinda put off by the implication of a ‘cougar’ and frankly stating the idea that I may one day become one...for I simply take off with the men more than the women*taking off is not THAT taking off here...for others who read this!*
Minus the contrived mannerisms, I see many women falling into such a mould thereby...without anything fake about their genuine love for life and for being admired!

Ahhhh...great food for thought!
Hopefully would blog on it someday!
You enjoy the break!:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Ria...
Yup...men n breast...almost sounds synonymous...
And could be actually too!

Let’s see how:
Well,
1. Having One is better than not having any at all, and if you have two...well, life gets more wholesome!
2. If they are any good, they get you the maximum attention
3. They work most efficiently when new and young and tend to get droopy with age and use!
4. Sometimes they can get kinda clingy!
5. They have a habit of ‘rising’ to the occasion!
6. Sometimes they tend to throw their weight around!
7. Even the best of them, need supporters!
8. Sometimes when they are too good...they could leave you speechless in more ways than one!
9. Okay now I shut up!

Wow...these similarities need to go to the post too..
Thanks Ria for the brain wave:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Niraj...
Look at my comment above...
I could give the Ph.D holders a run for their money and me a run from some mahila mandal udyog that realizes I could be a threat to people’s sanity;-)

Yup...I try to do up the template according to the mood of the post or post-er...glad you noticed it...:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Tbg...
Oh wow...a “yawn”
Is it like an English waala “mouth opening” yawn*maybe the suggestions here left you gaping!
Or is it like a hindi waala jawani ka ‘yowan’?
You need to be more specific!

By the way...
I am not considering being a lesbian...
Too many temptations like you deter my path of righteousness!

And yup...do keep your girl away from me...for if she has similar tastes like yours, I am in a great danger zone!

You knew I would so ask ‘what weirdly breastly things she does?’ so I am not going to ask and refrain from giving you THAT pleasure!
I would rather imagine instead!;-)

suruchi said...

Hey Shady...
Men are destined to be caught....but then poor souls, can they help if we are such a catch! ;-)
Besides, trust men to keep getting caught again n again!
Guys, you never learn do you?;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Mr. Happy!
Thank god for guys like you....
I hope you get loads of women with the prettiest of smiles...never mind what lies below*no puns intended;-)*

Oh...k...I read now... “the rest of the processes follows”
Sigh...and to think there was a ray of hope...;-)

And you poor soul...I hope you come across more girls who create fun for you than spoil it;-)

Btw...The post says thank you for being found as ‘breastilicious’
;-)

Cinderella said...

I am guessing Courtney Cox is absolfuckinglutely jobless to be doing a shitty show like Cougar Town, whatever happened to good ol fren Jen An for not giving her some good fren to fren advice ?!!

And boobs and men,eh? I'm kinda theres gotta be some sorta invisible radioactive connection happening whenever they are in close range else..what the hell would explain a pair of tits nearby and all pair of eyes pointing there.

Like Joey said, "you dont have a tv? Then where does all your furniture point to??!"

Akin to "No boobs, then where do male eyes exist?"

CyberSquatter said...

This has been a topic of discussion since Adam and Eve's time (Oh hell, not quite... they were already naked, so they didn't have such issues).

There are many theories regarding men's obsession with those "glands of the hands".

Some say, according to Darwin's theory of natural evolution, we are programmed to select partners (subconsciously) who are healthy and appear capable of reproduction. (This is kinda indicative of why poor Darwin had so much time to write books rather than go out on dates). Although, in today's day and age, reproduction is not our top most priority, but still, this instinct is etched in our minds in spite of centuries of evolution.

There are many more reasons for our species' constant want for a 24/7 'boob tube' channel. I guess, there's so much of breast fixation that exists in our society that even if you didn't think about it, you'd be forced to see things "that way". Pick up any fashion catalog, any vogue/cosmo magazine, and you'll get what I mean. Same is true for the advertisements these days.

Also, anything that has a sort of taboo attached to it, instantly seems alluring. We all yearn for a forbidden fruit, something which we can't have. The fact that these "twin peaks" are kept under wraps and hidden raises the curiosity among men. Seinfeld pointed it out quite adroitly that if women covered their heads instead of their "pair", we'd all be heading to pick up the latest edition of the Heads Illustrated.


There are many other theories and reasons, but in our defense, I'd just say that we don't look at "them", instead, "they" shamelessly look at us. Moreover, what do you expect us to do when such beautiful things are staring at you?! Well, you just act like a true gentleman, return the compliment, and just stare back.

Anand M said...

Suruchi, what more to say..U said it all..May be men are obsessed with the *boobs*..and why not, who doesn't like good things in life..

Come on don't be hypocrite now..if we stare, we are bastards and if we don't, we are gays..not fair..Its a human trait to appreciate and cherish good things..we are just acting human..u know.!

Also the demand is well reciprocated by a healthy supply, there are implants and pads and cups and god knows what not..so we just try n make the fairer sex realize that their efforts are being appreciated..that's it..

Itni sacchi bhawna ka mazak bana diya gaya hai..ye ssazish hai hamein badnam karne ki..

well this gentlemen has gone a step further ..see it here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xt0MrwyHNns


Anand

suruchi said...

Hi Su....
Well...okay your G is not like that now...but before you came along...kabhi to aise rahe honge...
And while the others swing between 60% to 99.9% being like that...
You would have to give him some little teeny weenie bit of a ratio...

But if you still feel he ain’t the kinds...
Yes ma’m*applause for your G n a little envy glint from the rest of us females ;)*

suruchi said...

Hey Cin...
Jen An is busy sorting her own life than be able to give any sane advice to madam Cox! It always surprised me for the way she fell apart after Brad Pitt. I mean I know, it IS Brad Pitt...but still...you are THE Jennifer Aniston, that half the planet adores! Anyways!

I loooooooooooved the Joey comment that you made there!
Lolssssssssss n Superb!
N I was counting on you to give the booby shit sense to the guys!
We bond way back in history on tit-tales or rather boob thunder blunders!
Way to go Cin...yiyeee.. yiyee...yiyeee!

Vinita Kohli said...

An apt title for this one -'Encyclopedia on BOOBS' - Author, Dr. Suruchi Arora (Ph.d BOOBOLOGY)

♥ Chocolate lover ♥ said...

:P

CyberSquatter said...

BTW, the things that really attract me to a girl are that sparkle in her eyes, the innocence in her smile, her luscious locks, the
way she acts coy, all her antics and mannerisms, and not her boobs and curves. I know I sound like a prehistoric man from the 60s and 70s, but I still am old school, riding a new wave, though. Boobs and stuff may get you some cries of excitement and drooling eyes from the opposite sex (sometimes, from the same sex, too), but those things I mentioned above really stuck a chord in my heart. With time, boobs shall sag, curves shall shrivel or expand, but those things that really caught your attention and played that music in your heart will still remain just as fresh and soothing as the day they first captivated your mind, body and soul.

♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ ayu ♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ said...

well..men are really like that :P

(p.s. check out my latest post if you have time,,.thanks :3)

pRasad said...

Lolllz...You stripped guys ! Literally..~

Your experience & your beloved has given you enough gyan - But still I would like to mention few things ( Which you might be knowing already)

1. No- or hardly any inches up is nothing but a cricket pitch :) (In the language of school kids :D .. This is how we used to call in school days - See ! Boys learn from school itself :D)

2. Not just size, shape too matters and yeah.. Color too :) .. And yes..Distance between left & right too :D Too much gap between them like a highway is not desirable :D

Nice post..Bold & hilarious ! Liked your funny way.

Anonymous said...

Glad to know i inspire posts of such famous bloggers !!

*does of happiness*

:P

The Bald Guy said...

Imagine all you want! Good Luck!

:P

suruchi said...

Hey CS...
You know I don’t quite like that name...
Nips is so much better...but then..koi samjha saka hain aaj tak aapko!:/

Trust you to open with humour...that take on Adam n Eve...commendable my dear friend*lagta hain mere sangate ka asar ho raha hain;-)*
Also “glands of the hands”, boob-tube, twin peaks.....LOLSSSSSSS
*Applause, applause*
I still don’t understand why YOU of all the people do not blog?

Reproduction is definitely not the priority...but production is!;-)
And agree with you about poor Darwin...duniya ka bhala kiya par khud ka kalian na kar sake! Tch, tch!

Your comment is like a cute little mini post in itself!
*Soooooooooo proud to be your friend*
You pretty much defended your species in making the stares more bearable for our-kinds...the females that is!

P.S. Also thank you for being the exception to your entire generation like you proved in your next comment! If only everyone thought like you...we would have less money to spend on Marks N Spencers!;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Anand,
I know you all are just acting humans!
I totally believe that half of you who get enchanted by the twin peaks to act like buffoons are actually not letchy creatures...you are genetically that way n hence hopeless and irreparable!

We aren’t really complaining either!
So cut the naatak*that’s my job, remember...mere rozi roti ka saadhan hain;-)*
Koi saazish nahi hain ji...
Guzaarish hain...kabhi upar bhi dekh lo! Bas!;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Vinita mamiji,
Thank you thank you...
Now I am a doctor!
Cooooooooool!
Mera pehla patient kahan hain par?
;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Choco
Keep smiling...
Suits you!
:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Ayu...
Men would be men...
And sometimes thank god for that...
Otherwise it would be a big gay world!;-)

suruchi said...

Hellow pR...
I did not strip guys....I mean had I done that...I would have felt at least some pleasure of the senses*read that as visual* if nothing else!;-)

N SHAPES N COLOURS matter too!
*this just doesn’t get any easier, does it?:/*
And who would have thought distance would also be pulled into the argument!

Thanks for stopping by n providing greater “in”sight...
We are all contributing in our own way to a better tomorrow and someday our children would thank us!
Amen!
:-)

suruchi said...

Hey Anon...
Glad to have you around to provide me food for thought!;-)
So what are we discussing next?
*gleaming with devilish pride;-)*

suruchi said...

Hi Tbg...
ALLLLLLLLLL that I want??????????
Are you sure?????????
You know how FAR my imagination can go;-)

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Bald Guy said...

Yeah, please do! Be my guest!

Good Luck! :P

Rishi said...

:0

mouth wide open... amazing post...

blunt edges said...

what all do people do to get comments??? first u blog about the most sacred of all topics: "boobs"

then u mention our names so that no matter what atleast u will get 3 guaranteed comments on the page!

so coming back 2 to topic...why do we like boobs?? we stare coz we care :D

rainboy said...

I was commenting on this post 2-3 days back but there was a powercut and i forgot...hehe

anyways ...First I second malpani ;)
and then... just wanted to say...

did you know that boob spelled backward is boob hehehe

take care :D

suruchi said...

Hey Rishi!
Whoa...now I have to re-read the whole post to find out WHAT PART*not meaning any body organ of course* was so “amazing”;-)

*and mooh band kar lo...makhkhi ghus jaayege:-)*

suruchi said...

Hiyya Blunts...
Itneeeeeeeeeeeee der laga de yahan aane mein!
My poor readers must be searching crazy for you!

And haaaaaaaaaw...hain na....what all people do to get comments!
And what all people do to hide gratitude....I mean I mentioned you and made you world-famous...well, sort of...and this is what I get in return*going into the “hey bhagwaaaan” mode*

And wow...you said it so right!
I was so scared that I won’t get any comments on boobs...I mean the boobs post...and hence I used three people’s name...aap dhanya hain...antar yaami hain...
Mere man ke baat kaise kuch palon mein bhaap le;-)

And now coming back to the topic...
You stare coz you care!!!! Can’t say that is fair...but definitely flair!!!!
*OMG...I better shut up before I become more crappy!*

suruchi said...

Hiyya Rainboy...
Damn these power cuts in India...
Such crucial decisions and ideas get put on the hold that could prove to be a world turning point in the history of this earth!

Aaah...never mind!
Thanks for seconding and also for the "boob" spelling gyan...as if boob spelt backward or forward would make much of a difference to you guys...spelling is the last thing on your mind when it comes to boob talk...

Back or forward...boob is a boob right?
*wtf am I talking...leaving this space till I make more sense:/*

rainboy said...

IT's 10 hour cut in our area every day :(

ahahaha
I heard it on HIMYM.Loved it.I remembered it when I read your post ,so shared it ;D

haha you're so right lol

you got tangled up in boob thoughts lol

take care

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