Amazing people who make me go on n on n on:)

14 November, 2009

Proverbs Screwed Up for Good!


(The subject matter here has adulterous content...viewer’s discretion is solicited...Yup, we know that the author is also an English teacher...but please bear in my mind this does not raise a finger at her teaching n imparting skills or put her own grey matter into dubious slotting. This perhaps would be one of her many alter egos at work...or rather at play! Please note: this was not what she was telling her students while explaining the actual meaning of proverbs...this was what was silently going on in her own devilish mind while they slogged on the path of her enlightment!)

All work and no play make Jack a dull boy:

Unless the work or kaam is like kaama (sutra) and the ‘fore’ is attached to ‘play’... be sure Jack would never have a dull day!

Every dog has his day:

And considering the fact that it’s said all men are dogs...there can only be one way to make him ‘have’ or ‘eat’ his day and way...give him a mouthful and.....wait for life to not act like a bitch and give you one too...your day that is! Waise did you hear that one...just when you realize that life is a bitch...she also gives you puppies!

First come, first served:
But if the service is poor at the virginal attempt...can we “come” again?;)

All’s well that ends well:

Yup, when you reach the mind blasting climax then all anti climatic journeys are forgotten!

An idle brain is the devil’s workshop:

And then an idle body? –the devil’s “go-down”...

Once bitten, twice shy:

Hmm...this one’s weird...coz once you get the taste of a love bite...mmmm...my oh my...just screw being shy!

A bird in hand is worth two in a bush:
Makes sense...the two in the bush would already be super engrossed n indulged, at least the “chick” “in hand” sounds more use-able;)

A stitch in time saves nine:

But just imagine if the right stitch fell apart at the right moment from the right place of the right voluptuous body...it would buy her guaranteed nine..................followers wanting an encore!
So some stitches should not be saved but left alone to be unravelled!

A fool and his money are soon parted:

Should be and could be...though one question...parting money seems technically possible, but how do you part a fool in two...ouch, that must hurt!

As you sow, so shall you reap:
Ya, screw a Negro and don’t expect a white child!

God helps those who help themselves:

So there’s hope for all those who are helping themselves...there is a god and someone, somewhere is made for you...to screw too!

Absence makes the heart go fonder:

Ya right again...fonder of the gal next door for sure!

A thing well begun is half done:

Ahem, ahem...begun to theek hain...but don’t leave it half done yaar...’well’ or no well...mission should be accomplished...killa ko fateh karna zaroor...otherwise that should hurt again!

Beggars must not be choosers:

Oh ya, when you are begging...you don’t dare to choose...just grab...kya pata kal woh bhi ho na ho!

Actions speak louder than words:
But I guess exceptions exist...when you hear their “yes, yes, yes” louder than the banging action at the next door!

Necessity is the mother of invention:

Makes you wonder whom ‘necessity’ screwed to end up with something so new as invention...should we ask the ‘father’ of the nation? But then they confuse again by saying familiarity breeds contempt...would words please stop f***ing themselves and our directions?

A drowning man will catch at the straw:
Well...wtf would he do with the straw now if he is already indulging and drowning in pleasure...suck the liquid out of his surroundings to save himself? For once please don’t intend the pun here!
Rather let him gobble hic and gulp it all down!

Barking dogs seldom bite:

Means never trust someone who makes tall claims to fame in the sack of course...try, test and then seal it...not literally! Instead of a bite, they might just generally purr or lick and be done before the kick!

Do not put all your eggs in one basket:

Why put your eggs in the basket in the first place? Let them reach out to where they truly belong...to those wriggly wobbly thingies and create life again!

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise:

And also makes his wife run away with other guys...
So he is left alone to screw his health, wealth and wisdom!

Easier said than done:
I guess they are talking of the 69th commandment!

Empty vessels make the most sound:

Acha? I thought it was my horny boy next door...with his gals galore! Anyways, next time don’t do it in a vessel or keep the mouth appropriately shut!

Example is better than precept:

Sometimes practical risks go a long way in bringing home the subject than just ogling at it!

Great minds think alike:
Take them to bed and there’d be no thinking at all...great minds do alike too!

If the mountain will not go to Mohammad, Mohammad must go to the mountain:

Well, how does it matter who goes to whom, as long as we all “come”!

If wishes were horses, beggars might ride:

Hadh hain...if wishes were horses, beggars would still just wanna ride???????????? Come on, come on, and come on...hey I am just suggesting a phrase they use on the horse while riding it!

When in Rome do as the Romans do:

Just do it, do it to me baby, do and done, been there done that...whatever...never harms to do it in their way...but show us the way first ;)

It’s no use crying over spilt milk:

Yup, better to clean up the spilt stuff and leave no trace of it ever done! And if you need to shed anything honey...let them be tears of joy and shedding of inhibitions! Use the spilt make to conjure up something nutritious...arrey baba, this is seriously just a health tip-no puns intended!

Jack of all trades master of none:

Well, well did anyone ever tell you that an all trader is a first grader with women...what would you do with being a master of a nun anyways?


Uff...this was my crappiest best!
Sorry for wasting your time on this one...
Off on a mini vacation...would rejuvenate, experiment, indulge...in thoughts of course and return with more....sense hopefully!

29 comments:

Rahul Khatri said...

i agree to u, in the last statement sc!!!!...."This WAS ur crapiest best" ha ha....sc...yaar...itne achhe post ke baad kya sujhi aapko...yeh likhne ki...i just started to read...went towards the end...and was so happy to see the confessions of this flirtatious mind...!!aah...consensous!!!he he;):)

sulagna chatterjee said...

OMG!!! i absolutely loved loved loveddd this one...by far the best!! babe this one is your best,among the ones i ahve read :) and what joy is being with a beats if you are not bitten well :) :)
you need to do some proffeional writing..it will "come" great..no no seriously

PS: An award awaiting you *hands bowing in respect*

Vikas Chandra said...

hahahahaha..
i kept on laughing on this one..

oh my god hahaha

the way u screwed up these proverbs was hilarious..

shashank said...

rofl...
best post indeed..
wonder what your students would have to say if they happen read this 'enlighment' from their teacher's devilish mind :)

suruchi said...

@Rahul...chalo..we even agree on when I am my crappiest best...
Waise aapke liye thoda cultural shock ho gaya hoga na...
But u leave me confused DC...happy to see the confessions of my mind or not?Jaldi bolo nahi to aur confessions aa jaayenge;)

@Sulagna..thanks sweetheart..just equally devilish minds could agree on this one...so a big cheers to our dirty minds n god bless them;)
Also big,big heartfelt gratitude for soooooooooo much appreciation...u are a great n generous friend:)

suruchi said...

@Vikas n Shashank..thanksssssss...I'll try my level best to continue being so crappy even in future...;)
n Shashank...my students are pretty much used to of me being more of a friend than a teacher...so I guess they won't be very surprised;)

Rishi said...

Y didn't my teacher teach me in that style.. i would have paid more attention listening to her bantering..

"You always want what you can't have, repenting on what you have"

suruchi said...

hehe...Rishi..u would have still not paid attention to her...u would have ended up applying these proverbs instead on the petite cute thing next to you;)

Rahul Khatri said...

scc...seems some misunderstanding...;):)...i didnt agree WHEN u were crappiest best, but agreed THAT u were at ur crappiest best ha ha....pls dont mind sc...and dats the confession i was talking abt, and i liked that u confessed dat!!;):D:P...and the post i mentioned "achha post", it was the previous post i was talkin abt,oji just clear kar raha hoon;):)

Rahul Khatri said...

oho...no reply???ab jaldi se aap reply karo warna the confusion wud be mine!!I hope havent hurt u eh??...ab bolo bhi warna...mujhe hi ek confession karna padega;):):P

Amnn.......//1! said...

lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
lovvvved it ...!!!

yaaah i second what rishi said ..:
n yaah chk this out :
the grass (girl) is always greener on the other side .. unless offcourse if u r stuck in the middle of a fucking desert coz.. then even a dried leaf will do ,,,!!!
quick learner .. aint i ? ;)

suruchi said...

Hey Rahul...sorry yaar...reply mein der ho gaye...was not deliberate though n u know it...And u my dear can never hurt me...I knew you wouldn't like this post..if you had...I would have fainted with a shock and phir mujhe koi uthaane waala bhi nahi hota;)

Amn...thankssssssss.....lovvvvvvvved ur own little screwing that u did with the poor proverb here;)
Yup...quick learners yaar..now I wish I had more students like you guys:)

Rishi said...

reminds me what one of school frnds use to call me... "BRASHT BUDDHI"

suruchi said...

So true for u actually;)
And well that makes us two of a kind;)

Sunil said...

Hi Suruchi,
Really hilarious:)

suruchi said...

Hi Sunil,
Thank u ji:-)

Nipun said...

Hey Suruchi!
I stumbled upon your blog while I was in facebook (you and I have a common friend in Rahul). I must say that it's unabashed writing at its best! Throughly enjoyed reading your posts.

Keep 'em coming.

Take Care N' Keep On Rockin'...

suruchi said...

Hi Nipun...
Rahul is such a cute friend...n Rahul ke friend...my friend:-)
Great that u stumbled to witness my thoughts that tumble...
Thanks for appreciating...
Unabashed it is...a kind of madness that rahul would vouch for;)

I'll keep them coming n u keep urself coming back here:-)
U take care too...cheers:)

Nipun said...

* Rahul is such a cute friend...n Rahul ke friend...my friend:-)*

The feeling is mutual.

* I'll keep them coming n u keep urself coming back here *
.
That goes without saying. Already bookmarked your blog. :)
Ciao...

suruchi said...

Awwww...thanks Nipun...
See ya around...
And I like being quoted...specially by cute guys who put smiles in the end;)
Ciao

Rahul Khatri said...

awwww(sry for borrowing that frm u sc;):))...hmmsp awww...thnx to both of u yaar...glad to be friend of both of u!!...Nipun...if u liked this one...m sure this blog is a treasure full of such "creative" write ups and u can dig as many as u like;):)he he...

and sccc...arre yaar...aap n aapke buttery flattery flirty thoughts and words..lolz...its so "U" he he...never miss a chance...;):)

Nipun said...

* Awwww...thanks Nipun... *

I should be the one thanking you. This blog of yours really has some 'hidden treasures'.

* And I like being quoted...specially by cute guys who put smiles in the end *

BTW, I like when girls as bright as you say that I'm cute. :P

Keep On Rockin' \O/

P.S. Merry Christmas! (better late than never).

suruchi said...

Rahul...sorry kehne ke koi zarorat nahi hain...friends mein sab cheez baatne chahiye...tabhi PYAR badhta hain;)
I like ur emphasis on "creative"...Kya DC..tareef kar rahe ho ya warning de rahe ho...bechaara pehle he bhaag jaayega..hehe:)

And aapko bola tha na...mauka chodhne ke cheez nahi hote...fayda uthane ke hote hain;)

Buttery flattery words ka aap pe koi asar hua aaj tak?
Nahi na...so then harmless hain...use karen bhi to koi fayda ya nuksaan nahi mankind ka:-)
Big hugs DC

suruchi said...

Merry christmas nipun...
Bright girls huh?
I need to tone down my 440 volts ke smile...illumination kuch zyaada na ho jaaye;)

And hidden treasures...o teri...mujhe to mile nahi..aapko mile to let's share ok..Rahul se abhi abhi pact hua ke friendship mein sab share hota hain...

Keep smiling n stay cute:-)

sobhit said...

u knw wot... ur not a girl... ur a dude planted insyd a female body by d DEVIL himself :P :P...gota admit nvr seems a female wid bttr sense of humour or timing(dis am assuming), u messd up d proverbs pretty gud... wonder 4m where do all des devilish thots get 2ur mind??? :P :P.... readin ur post ws lyk readin pure EVIL...infact
"D EVIL" itself :P :P....no wonder SATAN got eve on his syd 2 mk adam falter :P :P.... reading ur posts will make him happy n proud f his decision 4 counting on eve.. 4 d legend continues wid u :P :P
bwuuuaaahahahahahahahahaha ;p

i blv u'il hv dat glint in d eye n mischvious grin 4 sure ;p ;p

suruchi said...

Hahaha...ROFLMAO...LMAO...laugh my guts off...
I absof@#$%^&*lutely loved ur comment Sobhit...a dude planted inside a female body by the devil himself...mmmmm....I am loving it;-)

N next time you don't need to assume about the timing...be sure that I win hands down n both case...Yup we are still talking of JUST my written abilities;-)

U can count on me just like Satan baba counted on eve...
Satan baba ke jai ho!

*4 d legend continues wid u*
Hmmm...itna bojh mere naazuk dude like kandho pe...hehe...
Naaaah...sirf "hehe"?
Hohohehehaahaahoooooo...there...the devilish laughter just to go with the mood of things;-)

Sealed with a Lady Dracula kiss on your throat...
D-EVIL:-)

Saksham said...

maam its too long to read and also i get scared of reading long stories and articles too....

suruchi said...

Saksham...
What are u doing on my blog?
N especially this blog post...
warning bhi the upar...adult content here...:-)

Chalo thank god for the length..u didn't complete it:-)

Relax Please said...

First come, first served:
But if the service is poor at the virginal attempt...can we “come” again?;)
Change the "come" to "cumm".. plz

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