14 November, 2009
Proverbs Screwed Up for Good!
(The subject matter here has adulterous content...viewer’s discretion is solicited...Yup, we know that the author is also an English teacher...but please bear in my mind this does not raise a finger at her teaching n imparting skills or put her own grey matter into dubious slotting. This perhaps would be one of her many alter egos at work...or rather at play! Please note: this was not what she was telling her students while explaining the actual meaning of proverbs...this was what was silently going on in her own devilish mind while they slogged on the path of her enlightment!)
All work and no play make Jack a dull boy:
Unless the work or kaam is like kaama (sutra) and the ‘fore’ is attached to ‘play’... be sure Jack would never have a dull day!
Every dog has his day:
And considering the fact that it’s said all men are dogs...there can only be one way to make him ‘have’ or ‘eat’ his day and way...give him a mouthful and.....wait for life to not act like a bitch and give you one too...your day that is! Waise did you hear that one...just when you realize that life is a bitch...she also gives you puppies!
First come, first served:
But if the service is poor at the virginal attempt...can we “come” again?;)
All’s well that ends well:
Yup, when you reach the mind blasting climax then all anti climatic journeys are forgotten!
An idle brain is the devil’s workshop:
And then an idle body? –the devil’s “go-down”...
Once bitten, twice shy:
Hmm...this one’s weird...coz once you get the taste of a love bite...mmmm...my oh my...just screw being shy!
A bird in hand is worth two in a bush:
Makes sense...the two in the bush would already be super engrossed n indulged, at least the “chick” “in hand” sounds more use-able;)
A stitch in time saves nine:
But just imagine if the right stitch fell apart at the right moment from the right place of the right voluptuous body...it would buy her guaranteed nine..................followers wanting an encore!
So some stitches should not be saved but left alone to be unravelled!
A fool and his money are soon parted:
Should be and could be...though one question...parting money seems technically possible, but how do you part a fool in two...ouch, that must hurt!
As you sow, so shall you reap:
Ya, screw a Negro and don’t expect a white child!
God helps those who help themselves:
So there’s hope for all those who are helping themselves...there is a god and someone, somewhere is made for you...to screw too!
Absence makes the heart go fonder:
Ya right again...fonder of the gal next door for sure!
A thing well begun is half done:
Ahem, ahem...begun to theek hain...but don’t leave it half done yaar...’well’ or no well...mission should be accomplished...killa ko fateh karna zaroor...otherwise that should hurt again!
Beggars must not be choosers:
Oh ya, when you are begging...you don’t dare to choose...just grab...kya pata kal woh bhi ho na ho!
Actions speak louder than words:
But I guess exceptions exist...when you hear their “yes, yes, yes” louder than the banging action at the next door!
Necessity is the mother of invention:
Makes you wonder whom ‘necessity’ screwed to end up with something so new as invention...should we ask the ‘father’ of the nation? But then they confuse again by saying familiarity breeds contempt...would words please stop f***ing themselves and our directions?
A drowning man will catch at the straw:
Well...wtf would he do with the straw now if he is already indulging and drowning in pleasure...suck the liquid out of his surroundings to save himself? For once please don’t intend the pun here!
Rather let him gobble hic and gulp it all down!
Barking dogs seldom bite:
Means never trust someone who makes tall claims to fame in the sack of course...try, test and then seal it...not literally! Instead of a bite, they might just generally purr or lick and be done before the kick!
Do not put all your eggs in one basket:
Why put your eggs in the basket in the first place? Let them reach out to where they truly belong...to those wriggly wobbly thingies and create life again!
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise:
And also makes his wife run away with other guys...
So he is left alone to screw his health, wealth and wisdom!
Easier said than done:
I guess they are talking of the 69th commandment!
Empty vessels make the most sound:
Acha? I thought it was my horny boy next door...with his gals galore! Anyways, next time don’t do it in a vessel or keep the mouth appropriately shut!
Example is better than precept:
Sometimes practical risks go a long way in bringing home the subject than just ogling at it!
Great minds think alike:
Take them to bed and there’d be no thinking at all...great minds do alike too!
If the mountain will not go to Mohammad, Mohammad must go to the mountain:
Well, how does it matter who goes to whom, as long as we all “come”!
If wishes were horses, beggars might ride:
Hadh hain...if wishes were horses, beggars would still just wanna ride???????????? Come on, come on, and come on...hey I am just suggesting a phrase they use on the horse while riding it!
When in Rome do as the Romans do:
Just do it, do it to me baby, do and done, been there done that...whatever...never harms to do it in their way...but show us the way first ;)
It’s no use crying over spilt milk:
Yup, better to clean up the spilt stuff and leave no trace of it ever done! And if you need to shed anything honey...let them be tears of joy and shedding of inhibitions! Use the spilt make to conjure up something nutritious...arrey baba, this is seriously just a health tip-no puns intended!
Jack of all trades master of none:
Well, well did anyone ever tell you that an all trader is a first grader with women...what would you do with being a master of a nun anyways?
Uff...this was my crappiest best!
Sorry for wasting your time on this one...
Off on a mini vacation...would rejuvenate, experiment, indulge...in thoughts of course and return with more....sense hopefully!