Amazing people who make me go on n on n on:)

11 December, 2011

Guts out!

I wish I could rant my guts out...

~Like I could write this space as a ‘Dear Diary’ and yet be entertaining.

~Crib about my mother-in-law and make it sound more heart-wrenching than the stupid soap on television no, not that Lux bar kept on the console

~Declare I am horny and not sound desperate.

~Exclaim I care a fuck when I fucking care!

~Be round-the-clock the person that blogosphere thinks I am.
~Reveal sheepishly how I almost believe in what Mohnish Uncle said in Meine Pyar Kiya, that the ubharta and ubalta Salman took very seriously “Ek ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte”

~Articulate about how I view God as my shadow and not as an idol.

~Make people believe that NOTHING in the world is right or wrong-the circumstances are!

~Confess I fall in love/crushes sooner than the fall in sensex and not pretend to be joking about it.

~State that I have so many times thought of eloping to some place far away that I almost believe in my mind now that I did. 

~Grieve about my just-out three white hair and yet pompously rejoice about my three times faster beating heart thanks to coming across wittier men.

~Accept my fascination for colour black for it makes me look lean almost just as much as Abhiskek Bachchan’s for his stupid leather jackets that suit him just as much as English does on Lalu Prasad Yadav whatever happened to him btw?

~Disclose that I have experimented so much that I could have been mistaken for a scientist.

~Take to task the anonymous characters in my internet life for how they make me rack my puny brains in trying to solve the mystery behind them-so please STOP and come out clean no puns intended.

~Philosophise and seem like Mr Deepak Chopra but with Ms Priyanka Chopra’s body!

~Express that I find some women just as burningly hot as some men and not sound gay.

~Explain that all relationships forged out of genes, come with a shelf life-if not becoming dormant, in time they do become lukewarm.

~Sulk openly about how some of the blogs amaze me-for how on earth could they have hundreds of comments on their posts with the kind of drab they publish!

~Blabber that I care a flying fuck about keeping abreast with the news/politics, except what Twitter provides me with and haven’t read the paper beyond the entertainment section in years and still not have you do ‘haaaaaaaaaaaaw’ at me.

~Plead guilty to how I was a better daughter till I had a daughter of my own.

~Divulge that if I ever wrote my autobiography, it would shock just too many to redeem. 

~Expose that I like playing with minds more than with people.

~Practise what I preach and give up on what's beyond my reach.

~Indulge in wild parties and slide into being the sati savitri next day with equal conviction...

~Mention I am fat and give a curvy, wholesome image of me in your mind instead.

~Moan about being alone in the blanket right now.

~Manage to churn out a book someday.

~Look at my wardrobe and sulk for everything is too old, too tight or just not right!

~Complain why I can’t have my pie and eat it too.

~Bring about a rule that you aren't being unfaithful, if it is only in the mind.

~Announce that the only thing I cook well...are the stories.

~Try to act dumb some day, just to see how half of the world feels!

Ah, too many skeletons until next time!


Arpit Rastogi said...


These are your wishes, which can't be fulfilled coz of A-Z factors right??

Waise apki jadatar wishes hoti bi to A-grade hain!!!! :P

Above all, i would love to see your book out in the market! Seriously!
Any plans for that??

Arpit Rastogi said...

Plus, atleast you can write all whatever in your mind & you have a great fan following here on blogosphere..

ni to kuch log Aise bi hote hain ki JO BHI WO LIKHNA CHAHE, BARBAAD KAREIN ALFAAZ UNKE!!! O YE YE.. YE YE YE!!! :P

kalpak n. said...

you are some wild chick lady. u know wat..jus care a fuck and do all of these one day. mazza aayega.

Dr Roshan R said...

sigh... i admire u for so many things and ur boldness is one of them.. (As u know), there are so many things I'd want to reveal, but I really dont have the guts to.

Anyway, for what its worth, all the things u said in this post is pretty much what I'd look for in a girl - a honest girl with just the right bit of naughtiness without being hypocritical about it :)

Tanvi said...

And 'I' I wish I could be non chalant like you! :)

LOL @ AB Jr wall line :P

PeeVee™ said...

Almost all of these things are harmless when you look at it, except for maybe hurting some people's feelings or getting judged because of it.

Why not just do it? For we go around only once na, what the point of keeping desires that CAN be fulfilled buried within?:)

Did I just prod you on to be wild? Uh huh, uh huh:P

Red Handed said...

U did declare that u are alone in the blanket right now :D
Hhehehe do them all soon I shall wait to see the outcome :D

Vinod Vyas said...


ok,u too believed Mohnish behl..

U cook wonderfully mixing right amount of ingredients making them hot and spicy :-)

"Bring about a rule that you aren't being unfaithful, if it is only in the mind" - is it abt fantasies? If yes then no one in this world is faithful

After reading ur posts on "Childhood goof-ups","Dear mum" and many other on similar lines i was wondering what else could be so shocking that many would not be able to redeem!!!

We would surely love to call u a scientist but first reveal what were ur experiments,hope this does not form the crux of shocking part of your autobiography

Being horny is healthy sign!!!!

Mirage said...

I totally agree with PeeVee.
Live and don't just survive. :)

Oh and that line which you wrote "Nothing in the world is right or wrong-the circumstances are". It made me THINK. Love you for that!

Haha! Even I find some girls darn hot. *HI5* (And I seriously don't care if I sound gay.)

And this list of yours made me smile. It was a pleasure reading it. Mainly because many of us carry similar desires and yet nobody put efforts to fulfill them. I appreciate that you spoke your mind out. And I'd appreciate more if you don't restrict yourself till it doesn't hurt anyone. =)
Be smart! (Like you already are.)

P.S: You know what, I was elated when I read that you are from Kanpur. Because I too have lived there for many years. And it is super close to my heart. *smiles*

Suruchi said...

Haha...abhi A-grade bana diya yaar!
You are such a cutie...whenever you come with your amazing comments, you bring in the sunshine:-)
Thoda leg pull and then putting up on the pedestal:-)
No plans for any book abhi, requires too much consistency and thought, both of which I lack! But I so wanna be able to write some day!:-)

“Wild chick lady”-not really...coz most of the wildness is in the mind-bahar se-mild!:-) What makes you think I am waiting to do all those things?;-)

Suruchi said...

You could be whenever you’d want to be..and Abhishek Bachchan seriously has something going on with a Leather Jacket Maker’s daughter...why else would he wear those horrible things in one flop movie after another!:-)

No you did not prod-you just gave me a nod:-)
And everything is harmless...we think of things on right or wrong terms based on stupid mindsets and not circumstances. And when people get hurt due to pure uncalled-for selfish behaviour that’s when introspection should come in.
This was just harmless ranting:-)

TheBluntBlogger said...

I like this post :) I want to shout out to women and tell them they are HOT, I infact do! Given that I have indeed kissed women, I don't care being called gay!

And 100 comments BOY! Don't get me started :D

Mirage said...

I commented. But where did it go? *scratches head* :|

Scribbling Gal said...

Wish I could do the same ...sigh

Just having a worse worse day and reading u made me feel better :)

pygmalion said...

aahaaa suruuu... Amen Amen Amen!!!

Isha said...

Hi Suruchi!
I just stumped on ur blog.
hahaha! Love the post!
And im sure if u wrote in this space as ur diary, it'd be double entertaining!

I'd be glad if u drop by my blog, and follow, if u like it! :)


Bikramjit said...

Good points .. you know I have felt over a lot of articles which you write and put points that I seem to NOD a lot of the time on almost every point..

Rant oh well I have done that a lot on my blog :)

and i totally understand that horny and not sound desperate :)

and you remeebr that dialogu from that film oh my .. hats off ..

but it is true that nothing is right or wrong its what we take it and how other take it .. :)

and oh yes u like me i fall in love everytime i see a lovely girl PITY she does not do the same ...

and good on the skeletons revelead I am sure everyone has them its jsut they dont have the GUTS to reveal .. so you are a better person for sure ..

take care

Jack said...


Hope and pray that you achieve as much as you can, specially on writing a book.

Take care

Isha said...

oops, i meant *stumbled

Purba said...

An eternal romantic she is and you should be proud that the child in you in alive and kicking.

~Sulk openly about how some of the blogs amaze me-for how on earth could they have hundreds of comments on their posts with the kind of drab they publish!


Arpit Rastogi said...

I wish you luck for the same.. :)

Sakshi said...

Well, you can do all of it! Coz you rock and you know it :)
:) Muah!

Arpit Rastogi said...

& for the 'cutie' thing..

*blush-blush* >_<

Gargi Gupta said...

Hilarious as always Suruchi! Wonder from where have you got such great sense of humour! I hope your oxymoron wishes do come true. I related to almost all of them :P Call me for dinner sometime and we both can cook stories together :P

Rahul Bhatia said...

Nice compilation of rants! At least you have some load off your chest..

Shady said...

Tell you all , when it is fact or Fiction.

Suruchi said...

Wow, do you realize this is the first time you’ve actually praised me instead of just pulling my leg-yiy, yiy, yiy:-)
It does not need guts to say what you want to-just the need to say it badly enough. I still maintain that you should vent out all those things that you want to reveal in a subtle manner-you feel lighter:-)
And thank you!

Yup, husband tours during December mostly so the worst part of the chill is not spent in chilling out, but being alone in the blanket:(
I do do most of them anyways Red;-)

Suruchi said...

I like the line “Live and don’t just survive” though my standard and highly dramatic one is-I am breathing, if that’s what you call living!”
Works wonders when you are emotionally blackmailing:-)

And even if you did the so-called “right” that the world wants you to follow, they would still find something to brand you wrong-so screw judgemental people! And HI5 it is;-)

And I do manage not to hurt-like they say-be good and if you can’t, Be Careful!:-) Thank you for reading!
Hey, from Kanpur...great, we need to connect more then:-)

Suruchi said...

Yes, I too believed Mohnish Behl:-)
And finally someone appreciated me for my cooking skills-thank you!
There is loads to my life that this page would probably not see-not because I don’t want to but that it is not required-yet!
And thank you also for picking out the horny parts only in the piece...
We horny clans know when we see a like minded person:-)

Thank you Pygy:-)

Suruchi said...

Chints, it is amazing how cutely you admit that you’ve kissed women-wish I could do he same*wink, wink*
And yes, those 100 comments waale bloggers-8th wonder!

Thank you Uncle J.

Suruchi said...

You can do anything you wish for-if not the way you like it, in some other form, but you always can:-)
I am glad you felt better and cheer up, there’s always a better day after the worst one:-)

Thank you Isha and this is like my diary only-just that the drab portions are not revealed!:-)

Suruchi said...

You and me are like ‘chaddi buddies’-ek jaise khuraafar dimaag hain and badmash harkaten:-)
And that dialogue from the film was epic-it became a guiding light of sorts:-)
My skeletons are revealed-if only my fat could be hidden now!
Thank you!

Awww...thank you baby-muaaah!

Suruchi said...

And the child in me is not just alive and kicking but in a perpetual game of football within! Needless to say those are the only kicks I am enjoying at present;-)

Thank you so much and continue blushing-I am sure it looks good on you!:-)

Suruchi said...

Alrite then, on your next trip to Kanpur, let’s meet for dinner and gorge on some scandals ;-)
Thank you!

Yup, some off and some stuck:-)

Shreya said...

They are wonderfully honest dreams and I am sure you are already working your way out to fulfill them one by one. This post being a step for that. :)

All the best .. May you fulfill all your desires.

Thousif Raza said...

seems like whole new suruchi is here... agree on the blog part... donno who some peeps gets sop many comments when all they post is crap... so many new things i got to know abt u... get famous... i'll save this post and then blackmail u :P

Take care and keep writing....

joshi daniel said...

hehehe this is simply super cool!

SuKupedia :) :) said...

Karlo na yaar kisne roka hai.. Suruchi Arora aage bado hum tumhare saath hai :D :D

sach mein they such harmless wishes.. though i feel u will find it very difficult to act dumb :) :)

Anita Jeyan Sandeep said...

Wow Bravo Suruchi...You have done what you wanted to without actually doing it..u are the best ! :D And the wardrobe thing applies to me too. And the Lalu Prasad bit. I suck at politics but I really wonder what happnd 2 him, after reading this ! All this while I wasnt aware of his absence on the news...well I have better things to do of course :D Wonderful post as usual.

☆ Rià ღ said...

Aah, I cant tell u how many of them cud i identify with! I feel as if we r long lost sisters. :D

Keirthana said...

Loved the post.. And yeah, I so wish I could do these..Unlike you,I have not even started to try out and discover the wildness in me... :(

Suruchi said...


This is not the whole new-this is the original mad head....beech beech mein I make some sense in some posts to deceive;-)
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaw and blackmail jaisa to meine yahan kuch bhi nahi likha-or ruko, o teri-kuch likh diya kya?:O
Chalo, too late-would wait for the blackmail with such mein yeh bhi kabhi nahi hua that I am blackmailed-otherwise it is mostly me using the emotionally waala blackmail;-)

Suruchi said...

Hey, I am not working on them, I think it is the other way round-they are working on me..latently and subtly:-)
Thank you...may we both fulfil our desires!

Yiy, yiy, yiy-I finally got you to comment after “liking” so many of my posts...thank you so much and your commenting is the “super cool” part, ji*doing a little jig on the bed*:-)

Suruchi said...

Wow, that was one effective and very motivating naara...almost got me jumped off my chair, till I realized aage table hain and went “thud”:-)
I can’t act dumb though sometimes I can be-especially if people throw the technical arrows at me:)
Thank you gurl for being around!

Haha...only you could understand that I have done what I wanted to do without actually doing it...and you are the sweetest:-)
Hain na...poor Lalo, aise gayab jaise gadhe ke sar se seeng:-)
Thank you!

Suruchi said...

Long lost sisters we are, though one among the two is the fat-long lost sister, applying solely to me:( putting on so much weight, don’t know where to throw it around Ria!
And why I ranted that here-bas woh behno waale feeling aa gaye and sar ka bojh halka kar liya:-)

You are the best stage of your life-when you are venturing out-tasting all the mirth and adventure for the first time...You just have to go out there and do as you please:-)all the best gurl-just do it!

Jenny said...

Party animal and then sati savitri..matlab masti bhi karlo and image bhi bani reh.. swell !! I want this one!!

and paper kholte hi entertainment page..mummy and bro give me these weird looks.. :-((

And about gay thing.. pst pst i could be gay.. becuase I am so staring at women since colleege times.. Problem is, I dont have any good lokking men on the floor, so better off staring at pretty women na.. kuch to dikhe :-p

Awesome pointers..!!

Saru Singhal said...

Can I join in, in doing so? It reminded me of the tweet which SUKU posted few days back while ranting...

You, me and she; all sexy!

BTW, even loved the Chopras combination!

Rachit said...

I wish I get a job pretty soon.. a gf( for short time :P)... a blog with more comments... and more friends whom I can trust and bank on.. till then let me know how many of your rants are actually fulfilled. :D

Weakest LINK

Mohit said...

Nice post. Almost like a looong Bucket List (btw, have u seen Bucket List.Its awesome. Serious recco)... Puts me in thinking mode. Been sometime I last thought over it.. Mabe soon now :-)
And Cawnpore !!! Haha ... If studying there for 4 years counts then even I am semi-Cawnpooriya ... :-) ciao ...

Ameena said...

Love your honesty here...I admire how you put it all out there!

I want my pie. And I want to eat it too.... :)

nil said...

You have no idea HOW MUCH you echo my head right now!!

And suruchiii. I miss you :(

Vagabond said...

but you already did it, no? =)

you are like sunshine. take care.

Mani Lalwani said...

Well you have written just enough to keep me interested in each point :)
though would like to read more on trying to act dumb and see how it feels :P
"Sulk openly about how some of the blogs amaze me-for how on earth could they have hundreds of comments on their posts with the kind of drab they publish!"
haaan ji I think of the same so many times!

Pria Rao said...

I wish I do this. I have so many things to rant out but can't do it on blog too. I have already created that imaginary space which no one can see, hear but still I keep ranting away :(
You should shout this off soon - ~Announce that the only thing I cook well...are the stories.

Preeti Shenoy said...

Loved the post!
OMG--we're so alike in so many ways! :)


sumitra said...

Love the honesty in your post. Wish I could say/do many of these things some day. Especially "Sulk openly about how some of the blogs amaze me-for how on earth could they have hundreds of comments on their posts with the kind of drab they publish!"
You speak my mind!

Justbcos2pplfellinlove said...

:) another good one..

~Manage to churn out a book someday. -- U r already writing a lot and that someday is not very far I guess.


Dark Knight said...

Well written & straight from the heart. Some of those rants can be turned into proverbs or quotable quotes. I especially like "Practise what I preach and give up on what's beyond my reach".

Please do visit my blog site sometime. I'd love to hear your comments.

buckingfastard said...

did u just said you are a obese-wannabe-preacher-who-is-bisexually-flirtatous-nymphomaniac on your own blog....ahh well...u make my proud!!u soo make me proud!!

its like my fantasy that i wish i was gay so that i can tell random people dat i am gay and get cold judgmental stare

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