Amazing people who make me go on n on n on:)

05 February, 2011

Age is a relative term!

Contrary to what the mind set has drilled into us, age is not really an indicator of maturity and thereby wisdom and substance. We have heard people say umpteenth of times, ‘I am older and have seen the world’ and thereby implying you should blindly follow what they are advising. ‘How could you know better being younger?’ is the typical belief on which the society in structured.

Yet, experience and the number of hours spent on Mother Earth cannot always ascertain the sagacious streaks in an individual. A twenty year old in this decade is smarter than one when I was one. But the adult forum around these twenty years old is still as was before, wrapped snug in the hazy, self-conceived notion that their off-springs are never going to be smart enough to have the last word. And consciously or unconsciously it is telling upon the gullible minds.

Credit should be given where due. The newer generation has the one-up card of modern and pro-active learning up their sleeves. This makes them more street smart than worldly wise. Even in emotional matters, it is often surprising to see many of the early twenty somethings behaving better than those taking precedence by several decades.

Are we heading towards a more mature young force?
Or is the older group suddenly losing its dominance over precision?


Sense and sensibility is an individual thing and can be cultivated!

I can still be corrected for my grammatical mistakes by a twenty two year old college going blogger and in all humility I must graciously accept where I falter. I often get into arguments about the home remedies to be tried on Seeya, with many well-meaning relatives and even my beloved. I refuse to follow just about every counsel that is thrown my way just because someone with more gray hair, is dishing it out, custom-made, without even me soliciting it. I’d rather go by what the doctor says now than what you experimented with, many years ago with your siblings.

However, often not just the oldies but even many-a-children are getting ensnared into this fabricated idea that the elderly are better equipped to handle almost any predicament.

It is sad that often a vulnerable, young mind is led to believe by his parents that they are right in deciding the course of action of his life, irrespective of their personal successes or failures, but by credit of the fact that they seem to ‘think’ they are better positioned to take these decisions. Many youngsters are still opting for a vocation based on their parents’ sketching it out for them, rather than scribbling through vague lines to reach to perfection themselves.

You are pushed into the ‘marriageable’ circuit or ‘child-bearing activities’ because the adults pull your reins and feel it is high time. A surprisingly high proportion of boys and girls let the issue of a life partner be decided for them after a couple of bad ‘love’ experiences, having lost the faith in them and patience to wait and watch.

Age has nothing to do with proficiency. Twenty years spent in erecting a life for oneself, are not less to know what we want. Children are not always wrong and adults not always right. If you are smart enough to know between right and wrong, you should also become smart enough to know what is right and wrong for you; or else give up on yourself as a bad job.

There is something that we are not teaching our children, despite providing them with a plethora of hand-picked facilities and nuances. It is the Midas touch of self reliance that can turn every obstacle into a landmine of golden opportunities. They are so accustomed to decisions being taken for them, that when the onus comes on to their own shoulders, they find their steps hesitating, voice mumbling and mind fumbling. We are not giving them the strength to take their decisions or courage to take responsibility for their actions. We want them to move on in life and yet wait for them to get prodigal and return to us again so that our relevance is reasserted.

Next time someone turns around and tells you that he is older and hence better suited to express an opinion...please give him a piece of your mind too, of whatever age n make it is! Let the children be. We all learn by one own experiences more than by sermons of a hundred epiphanies heard. We all have to make our own paths and walk on them with our own legs...high time we use our own minds too and let others use theirs for their own bodies. Amen!

43 comments:

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

True.
That old age never meant wiser, the amount of the grey on your head isn't any indication of the amount of grey cell inside it.
Probably we all should remember that its the disciple who would excel over, better than the tutor.

And it's not everyday that I get a comment from the same person, whose article I was already jotting a comment on.
Thank You.

Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete

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Chhavi said...

I am glad that you have faith in the decision taking abilities of the youth. Loved the line "Children are not always wrong and adults not always right"

Akshay singh said...

EXCELLENT !
example :
When I need some spiritual advice , I go to my nana ( walking-talking Bhagvad Gita )
When I need to know wass happening in Roadies ..i ask my 11 year old sister .

Knowledge is something one might accquire with age ...with books !
But wisdom is inborn ...and children , with their innocent , blunt minds and pure souls can sometimes teach you much more than senior-opinionated bade log .
philosophy *grin*

Deepika said...

True. So true. I am always bullied with the phrase that i am bacha. :(
but i know things from my observations and experiences. But i have stopped rebelling now. Its fruitless to speak when none has ears for me. Sigh. Rightly said and put. Great thought.

Sakshi said...

Age has nothing to do with being wise!
And today the kids have more exposure than even the adults!

It is high time that we take a progressive step forward and give the young a chance!

On a lighter note- in law, this theory JUST doesn't apply! I need grey hair to be heard! :(

Shahid Mukadam a.k.a Shady West Side said...

I agree...but I think its about balance.....grey hair in the right numbers can be useful...

Shady said...

Hmmmm, i guess we all know that but its difficult to admit .

Devil Incarnate... said...

well elders may hav experience frm the mistakes they hav done, bt thats theirs, i dont think that means to ponder it on others.

Let us learn things our way, with sme mistakes n taking a great experience with it.. Y should elders hav all the say?

Rujuta_09 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rujuta_09 said...

hey Suruschi,
couldnt agree more on ur statement, that children arent wrong always n parents arent right either.. nicely written dear, n I sort of relate to it, hasnt been more than 27yrs of life but have experienced it all.. all almost all... u name it, n i knw how it feels.... but more or less i fell that the experiences n communication shld lead to better maturity, unfortunately stubborness comes in betwn...

suruchi said...

Hi BA,
You manage to leave me with a fab line each time:
“It is the disciple who would excel over, better than the tutor”
That is so true but hard to accept na?:-)

N I love reading you...so it is completely my pleasure:-)
You are one of my fav new bloggers:-)

suruchi said...

Aaaaa.... R-A-J
OKAAAAAAAY!

suruchi said...

Hi Chhavi,
I have been drilling that line into the heads of people around me...hopefully they would appreciate it just as much as you’ve done it
Thanks for being around:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Akshay,
You are excellent...u manage to give me a cute comment always that makes me smile...even without the flattery...now that is art, wisdom, knowledge, charm or what?;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Deepika...
Awww...please don’t let yourself be bullied.
When you do that, you give the indication that you are okay with it and make it a habit for others to do so.
Don’t stand it...give them a piece of your mind and let your action show what you mean.

Being quiet out of respect for the age of the person is pointless when he/she does not respect your right to be rightly handled being junior to him.
Waise, many a times, it is fruitless before some people...it’s better to keep mum then...sigh!
Such is the world!

suruchi said...

Hi Shahid,
Of course some experienced people are a blessing to have around. But those who only know how to boss you over taking advantage of the fact that you were born later than they did...must be avoided like the plague.
They are detrimental to your mental health!

suruchi said...

Hi Shady,
We know where we stand...but we must also know where others do and treat them according to the respect they deserve and earn...not what they are born with!

suruchi said...

Hi DI,
Though it is okay to learn from others’ mistakes...humans often work in a pattern, especially when it comes to of making mistakes...
But it is difficult to really be able to learn anything from someone else’s mistake or lecture.

Jab khud pe chot lagte hain n ghav padta hain...tab asar sab se zyaada rehta hain:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Rajuta,
First-That’s such a sweet n smiling dp:-)
Stubbornness is often a key spoiler
The adults refuse to give up on their domination n control..they demand respect but somehow fail to give it always.

The children feel snubbed n either turn rebellious or timid.
Either ways, there is a loss of something that could have been worthwhile.
If only there was better communication really:-)

kiran said...

hi,
am your new follower.Am kiran from Bangalore. Trust me when i say, surely you left me with a thought. great that the point made by you about youngsters inspires me." sense and sensibility is an individual thing" and i think the younger generation has got a lions share of both coz of the level of competition today and the rise in standard of education. Will keep following.....

Shashank said...

hmm...all of the guys who posted comments, agree that having white hair doesn't make you right. Interestingly none of them have any white hair of their own....would love to see their expression when they read their comment 20 odd years from now.

Black/White hair doesn't matter....the problem is with the words..."I AM RIGHT". We are too rigid to even think that maybe the other person might be right...and age has nothing to with it.

Jack said...

Suruchi,

I fully agree with you. Today's generation is far more tech savvy and able to take on life but in certain spheres experience of life ( mind you not age in years ) makes one better qualified to have a say on such matters. I always say that we, elders, should show options and let the youngsters decide for themselves.

Take care

Miles Of Style said...

i agree with you Suruchi...age is just a number which is in no way proportionate to wisdom /IQ...yes probably the older people have experience of their side but i think the lessons you learn from your own mistakes are so much more precious than when you learn from others :)

A said...

@Suruchi,

Thanks a lot for wonderful comment. You made my day.

The fact is you write so nice including this article. And you know I said this before regardless of your comments.

Thanks a lot once more.

Bikramjit said...

Haanji madam ji, I do better then that I tell them why dont they try it first and then I will see how it goes ..

True age - knowledge etc are not the realtive.. I am old enough yet i do soem stupid things which probably the young generation wont, Wehn someone says oh we are friends.. you are like a brother to me I take it literally whereas it seems they were jsut being kind or crafty to get there work donw.. When will i learn haan

I have been lucky my parents never forced me well they did at first but soon found out that it was no good I was not the bright to do engineering or medical :) so they gave up in end .. and left me to my own devices ...

I do beleive that Experience teaches us a lot and one learns from there own experiences cause even two people go throgu hsame situation they still might not get the same result .. so personal experience is a must ..

and lastly i am so sorry i have not been coming regularly here i think i missed the last article too .. and OYE COME TO MY BLOG :) he he he you got no excuse .. seeya is not disturbing you that much now as no post on her.. so what u doing ?

Bikram's

Alka Gurha said...

Profound and engaging read...At times children impart more wisdom than adults.Wisdom and age are not always related....And yes the paradox of letting go and yet wanting them to come back will always confuse us, parents.

suruchi said...

Hi Kiran,
Welcome to the blog...and thank you for the appreciation.
I hope to live upto the expectations:-)
And when I ask for respect for youngsters, we must also ascertain that they deserve it:-)

suruchi said...

Hey Shashank,
I know that any age that we are in..makes us so snug in that zone that we often fail to understand the other end of the horizon...
I guess ego-free communication really is the key:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Uncle Jack,
You always manage to strike the right balance.
I agree on experience being the guiding force...but when an experienced person becomes overtly rigid on asserting that he is right and there’s a dead end beyond that...it becomes a sad situation.

I loved ur take when u say that let elders show the option n youngsters decide
You rock:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Persis,
Thanks for always agreeing with me baby
Now if we could just get the elders...or at least some of them, to behave themselves;-)

WarmSunshine said...

hey suruchi... how r u girl? just a quick note... a small gift is waiting for you on my blog... plz collect it :)

would come back for a thorough read <3 :)

A Great Liar said...

Hi, first time here. And I agree with the hypothesis that in these changing times, old certainly aint gold.

You have got a nice blog, following it.

Cinderella said...

where did my comment go?!!!!!!!!!

:(

WarmSunshine said...

I am an advocate of the same idea. I feel too pressurized at the moment trying and trying endlessly to come up to my elders' expectations. But it's never enough is it? I can start a whole debate on this topic but then, i'll just let it be. youngsters should be given faith in themselves to make their own decisions.

suruchi said...

Hi Mehreen,
Thanks a bunch for the Stylish award:-)
Makes my collars go up even more:-)

And the pressures we all live in...make us living cookers about to explode...some manage with a little whistle...some blow over the top...some keep steaming in whimpers always:-)

Here's hoping we manage to escape it all:-)

suruchi said...

Hey Cin,
I did not get any comment before this:-(

suruchi said...

A Great Liar,
Welcome to the blog and thank you for following:-)
Hope to see you around:-)

Matangi Mawley said...

that's so true!
even though parents are the ones who bring up a child- they claim to know their children-- it is ultimately the individual who knows himself/herself the best! children must me equipped with qualitites that enable them to take decisions of their own. their life to be lift to them...

a brilliant read!

Erratic Thoughts said...

By far one of the best post/article I have read in a while...couldn't agree more to this...I have lot of similar thoughts about this whole we-have-seen-many-more-seasons-than-you-have thingie...but they do not realize that we may have seen fewer ones but some very tough ones nonetheless!Give us some credit...

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