It is a tough world/life when some of your friends you went to school with and who have spent the better and most parts of their lives in humble abodes of dear old Indian cities, suddenly one day jabber and rant their guts out in the most obnoxious of accent that you know has recently taken an illegitimate birth and not developed naturally! You can’t seem to make up your mind, what is more outrageous- the non-stop bickering about things you don’t care a flying f@#% about or the omg-pronunciations and unnecessary elongation or gulping down of words and syllables that makes you wonder if the Indians should be more ashamed of such an English or the Englishmen!
I mean what is it, people? Where and how do you get an accent after breathing in the same town as I did and never been to a phoren land for enough time at least, that it would/should affect any part of your body, let alone the vocal cords? Agreed perhaps no one can tell whether you are carrying a fake LV bag or not, but you don't have to make us raise an eyebrow even at the actual genuine brands that you may be flaunting just because you opened your mouth and put your feet in it. And when they say "I didn't knew that" or "I did liked this", the teacher in me dies a million death and turns over in her grave at this merciless screwing er...massacre of English and just because I can't take out my red pen and put a big fat cross on their faces that indicates "Tried and tested and injurious to your tolerance powers".
I know Salman Khan and Priyanka Chopra are popular but even they have no excuse for taking away everything appealing about them the moment they open their delicious looking gaps of protruding lips that is and reek of loathsome fake-ness. Priyanka takes the cake with her oh-so-ready-to-giggle-like-an-innocent-girl and get onto my nerves.
I have a set of these amusing friends who would express the suppressed and the most unheard of theth-Hindi gaalis in one breathe and then sound like Princess Diana-reborn-as-a-trashy-rock star in the next. Even the rap singers would be timorous of using such short forms and slangs to evoke tomatoes from the audiences and just because we can’t throw anything better than glowering glances at you, you make us bear it all with a straight face. To give you an example-my becomes ma; now if they were to say ‘oh my god’ like ‘oh ma god’, can you imagine the confusion in my gullible mind in comprehending the implications of that?
People are so diet-conscious these days that along with that, they have become word conscious too or probably so hungry due to it that they eat up syllables and tones of words. So it is sad that while I can understand every word of “How I met your Mother” on the television without the English subtitles required, but to comprehend some of my socialite acquaintances, I just don’t need the subtitles but even the translations.
Wow, I am so tempted to write more and more and more, like my normal habit is...but to see the shock on my readers face on seeing just a one page blog update would be so unusual that I would let go of the excruciatingly painful urge ;-)
Seeeee....don’t tell me again, that I can’t write short blog posts!