Amazing people who make me go on n on n on:)

16 May, 2011

My Understanding of Women and Men!


  •    A woman will not expect a man to impress her, but she expects him to try.
  •  Women fantasize more than men.
  • A woman does not relate to why his palm sized techy gadget should cost a world but expects him to understand that one single pea sized diamond is worth it.
  •  A woman wants you to tell the truth whenever she says, “Tell me honestly” and later wishes she had not asked you in the first place.
  • She may spend her better years professing how she wants X-Y-Z qualities in her man and also proudly declare in the same breath how she always falls for the opposite.
    • She knows there is no ‘happily ever after’ but she pines forever for the Prince Charming to come along.
    • A woman expects a man to share all his work tensions with her but does not expect him to expect her to remember about it when questioned later.
    •  Most women are more in love with the idea of being in love than a person.
    • A woman may speak for hours and then end by saying, “I somehow find it difficult to express what I really feel.”
    • You would hear this more often coming from a woman’s mouth than a man’s, “Something is missing in my life/I don’t feel good inside today but don’t ask me why” when she would bloody well know what and why.
    •  Women would like you to open doors of restaurants for her and pull the chair before they rest their cute butts on it; but they may throw a tantrum of equality and accusations of biases when you say, “It is not a woman’s job.”
    • When they say “I am in a bad mood and want to be left alone”, they actually want your company the most.
    • Most women can handle alcohol, men and women better than most men.
    • A woman knows that her man may not have the best of voices but she loves to have him use it to sing for her.
      • The speed with which a woman says "Nothing" when asked "What's wrong?" is inversely proportional to the shitstorm that's coming. 
      • She dresses less for herself and more for others.
      • Women use their smiles to get away with ANYthing.
        • When she is in her teens the older men are always more appealing and when she is not, the youngsters are suddenly so bloody hot.
        • Women are of three kinds: high maintenance, low maintenance and those who think they are low maintenance but are actually high maintenance*thank you Billy Crytsal for this superbly quotable quote*
        • Women may age in their bodies but never in their minds.


        Now the man’s point of view:


        • A man knows his wife would never agree to a threesome; but he believes that miracles do happen.
        • He would expect the woman to understand if he had a fling; but he wants her to understand not to expect the same from him.
        • Men always like options.
        • Men have better traffic sense but poorer sixth sense.

          •  A man may want to bed a woman but not wed her and the one he weds is not always the one he beds.
          • Watching television is the greatest stress buster and porn is god's gift to mankind.

            • A man may crib about all those woman’s magazines that crowd the washroom space; but in his private enthroning on the pot, these become his philosophers, friends and guides .
              •   Men are better flirts than women.
              • A man may grin big time when he elucidates about his skills in bed to his guy friends; but he would frown big time about his woman doing the same to her guy friends.
              • A man would not mind ogling at other women but gets all ‘saala, kutta-kamina’ when someone eyes his.
              • He would mock at gatherings about how women love to gossip; but after the party, he would corner his woman like in an interrogation about who rules the gossip-vines and how.
              • A man would not really talk to his woman on the phone while in the work space; but when she stops calling on him there, he would wonder what is wrong.  
              •  For a man, some sex is good, more is better and too much is just about right.
              • A man would crave for a woman till she is a chase and when she ceases to be one, he goes in a haze. Hard to get are always harder to forget.
              • Men get better with age*don't ask me in what*.
              • A man loves compliments just as much as a woman does, if not more.
              • For a man, the relationship is on the rocks only when the sex decreases.
                • Most men actually talk more than women, contrary to the popular myth and listen lesser, as is an established age-old fact.
                • Men use alcohol as a reason and justification for making passes. They always test the waters before wadding in.


                That’s about it from three decades of dealing with both the sexes, in different measures of course! Happy Gender Dealing!:-)

                51 comments:

                Nadia said...

                Amen...that's all I gotta say :)

                jo said...

                So absolutely true. Couldn't agree more with you, especially on the last one :)
                Super fun read :)

                Tanvi said...

                Phew! That was a long list ... I agreed with most of it ... I guess there is a stereotype in all of us! And your observations are spot on!

                ♡ from © tanvii.com

                Pythoroshan said...

                speaking for the men, I totally agree...and hey, threesomes can happen !!! i'm jut waiting for the pink unicorn to drive by in a porsche like the mrs requested and then she'll be into it too...damn !! where is that unicorn ???

                A said...

                Oh My God. Clinical research....

                I could not stop laughing for 10 min after reading it.

                Nikita said...

                Awesome....

                And its all so trueeeeee

                Chocolate Lover said...

                wow!! O_O

                Miles Of Style said...

                OMG...this woman you've written about is ME :P :P :P

                Bikramjit said...

                True so true .. I like it
                the points on women, I dont mind any of those .. if only all women read these and understand ..
                OMG i suddenly remembered dont let a few read this they will think you are against them because according to them women dont want any of this since MAN is bad ..
                he he he he

                now MEN.. no I dont do all that .. "ALL" i said he he hehe

                Bikram's

                Jack said...

                Suruchi,

                A well researched post after due visits to Mars and Venus, it seems. The pictures sum it up so effectively.

                Take care

                vineet said...

                arey killer babes, didnt expect a gal to write this stuff, i sent this blogpost to many and all are LOLing like nythn...worth following

                Scribbling Gal said...

                WOw lady u surmised it alll :D

                Loved it and the woman is so me and the men is almost all men i know :P

                Btw i was off blogging for a while so missed reading u .....i blogged after like a month or so hope i gain the jest...do check :)

                Thousif Raza said...

                awesome and abt men... ur so very rgt :)

                n s this punk is back on the blogging circuit, n u have a very special mention on the blog, in fact ur one of the heroines in the story :P


                take care and keep writing...

                Blasphemous Aesthete said...

                In her first passion woman loves her lover,
                In all the others all she loves is love.

                ~Don Juan canto 3, st. 3 (1821)


                I won't doubt your wisdom on women, but the part about men, I am starting to feel like, I am just a little boy, (not a MAN yet? :P).

                Interesting point summary. :D

                Cheers,
                Blasphemous Aesthete

                blunt edges said...

                I bow down to thee O Holy Mother of all that's confusing in this world :P

                Please continue to enlighten us with all your worldly gyaan :D

                "She dresses less for herself and more for others." Really? :P

                sobhit said...

                good read.. a cpl f dem r going 2b my FB status msgs in d coming days...

                suruchi said...

                Hi Nadia,
                I wish our ‘Amens’ were heard more often:-)


                Hey Jo,
                You made me go back to the last one...lol
                So glad u liked it:-)


                Tanviiiiiiiiii:-)
                There is a stereotype...of good n bad, agreeable n disagreeable:-)

                suruchi said...

                @Pythoroshan,
                Actually that unicorn is hiding in the Pandora’s box..we are better off without him going all loose like that:-)
                Tell the Mrs she has got a good catch and she should tell her hubby the same;-)


                @A,
                Helloooooooooo...laughing is good for health. I am sure it makes u look cuter...so keep it going:-)



                Hi Nikita n Choco Lover,
                Thank u sweets:-)

                suruchi said...

                Hey Persis,
                Like I always say, you are every woman..it’s all in you:-)


                @Biky,
                Arre...meine read n write n understand kar liya na....ALL women ko understand karake kya karna hain?;-)
                And aap to kuch na bol ke bhi bol dete hain:-)


                Hello Uncle Jack,
                I loved the pics too...and Venus N Mars are all on earth na, jaise hell n heaven is:-)

                suruchi said...

                Hey Vineet,
                Welcome aboard and thank you for circulating the good word...the world needs enlightment:-)


                @Scribbling Girl,
                Welcome back...and we are all a mixture of everything possible...we just don’t realize it...Hope to see you around:-)


                @Thoooooooooooousif,
                Wow...so good to see you here again n I loved your post...and finally my dream of doing actual drama has come true...
                You rock, yaar!
                You better stick around now...warnaaaaaaaaaa..dhishooom!:-)

                suruchi said...

                Hey Anshul,
                Haha...you always manage to catch the bull by the horns, don’t you?
                I re-read my “men’s part” after your comment...and yes, you are soooooooooo right as always...
                It needs a little revamping from the “boys” point of view...

                And you are every bit a MAN as man should be...
                In fact, guys take a cue from this guy on how to weave magic with words:-)

                suruchi said...

                Bluntuuuuuu,
                And you say “I” confuse the world??????????
                First you call me ‘mother’ and then ‘holy’....boo hoo...matlab holy to I can still accept...but mother kisko bola re...I felt like such a nun;-)

                Ji bilkul...will continue to enlighten you always...aur kuch aapke seva mein laya jaaye?:-)

                And women do dress for others yaar..always bothered about what would others say of how she is looking and now really wearing what she likes on herself best:-)
                And if you thought the comment was about “dressing less” hehe....:-)

                suruchi said...

                @Sobit...please take them... I just hope facebook can handle them:-)

                Sameera said...

                Good job done Suruchi.. Well done!! This made me realize that the man's point of view limits to the bed ;)
                Jokes apart, loved it all :)

                ♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ ayu ♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ said...

                haha..nice thoughts..most are agreeable! :D

                ☆ Rià ღ said...

                Ha ha so totally hilarious and true!! :)

                Aparana Pitale said...

                Superb... wow wow... :) :)
                Every thing written so true, guess it matches everyone :D
                Its difficult to stop laughing...

                A said...

                @Suruchi,

                I wanted to laugh again so come back to read. :))))

                It is really funny read.

                But read my comments carefully...Like a lot of others...I DID NOT say it is true.

                Haha :))

                suruchi said...

                Hi Sameera,
                Actually it does...most men would tell you that THAT is all that’s on their mind...but thank god for some exceptions:-)


                @Ayu, Ria n Aparna,
                Thank you guys:-)
                Keep up the laughter!

                suruchi said...

                Hi A,
                Thank you for returning...and for the lavish praise...I feel super tickled:-)
                You think it is not true then please enlighten us on the points of disagreement...I ‘d love to know more;-)

                Pavitra .... said...

                Hahahaha...
                Thats quite a list you made there....
                And everythings true...
                We might not want to become the stereotype girl/guy but somehow we end up becoming one...no matter how hard we try not to...
                Really funny post!
                Loved it!
                Cheers!

                suruchi said...

                Hi Pavitra,
                Thank you gurl...always great to see you back in the blogosphere, though you keep going in and out:-)

                No one wants to be a stereotype...par kya karen, control nahi hota;-)

                Anita :) said...

                " Most women are more in love with the idea of being in love than a person."
                So how damn true...U are brilliant!

                Sakshi said...

                The comment is coming late- but better late than never.. ;) right?

                Lovely post! Absolutely bang on target!

                The point that made me smile THE most-
                "A woman knows that her man may not have the best of voices but she loves to have him use it to sing for her."

                Haddock said...

                First time here and agree on the "one single pea sized diamond is worth it"

                Anonymous said...

                Suruchi , I have read your entire blog recently and have been following your posts though this is the first time I am posting a comment. I have enjoyed whatever you have had to say but my concern is for your safety. I think you have let out a lot of info about yourself on the net. If i were to meet you tom , I would recognize you instantly, know intimate details about your life ...even your sex life ! I know about all your crushes as well as those who have had crushes on you ....i even know how often you have sex !! it makes an interesting read but do you realise that there are people out there who would know all that ...and you wudnt even realise that if you met them face to face ? I would strongly recommend that you exercise some privacy settings to monitor who can read your blog. all the best !

                Mahika said...

                Good stuff !

                Droopy Rose said...

                oh my! A pragmatic approach to a very complex topic...Especially "Hard to get are always harder to forget" has been quite proficient point...once again a risible post :)) Take care!

                suruchi said...

                Hey Sakshi,
                Now something tells me Shayon has been made to sing and is not such a great singer...but he has the most wonderful of voices-deep n husky!
                Probably he is saving the best song for the best day:-)

                And your comment is ever welcome...late or early:-)

                suruchi said...

                Hi Anita,
                The story of our life, right?:-)


                Hi Haddock,
                Thanks for visiting...hope to see you around!
                :-)

                suruchi said...

                Dear Anonymous,
                Thank you so much for your concern, but wish you could come out of the anonymous garbs to let me know who you are and take you more seriously!
                When did I give details of my sex life btw?
                I mentioned the five times a week post just as a hilarious take on the plight pf married couples!

                Most of what I say is exaggerated and dramatised to provide over the top humour! How does knowing about my crushes make me vulnerable?
                Obviously I have nothing to hide and hence I write openly on a public forum. I would really think more seriously about being bold or not here if I knew who you were and the reasons for your concern for my safety based on our friendship!

                As regards the privacy setting n all...too much to ask me right, if you know how technically a retard I am:-)
                Thank you nevertheless...please comment more as who you are...it would matter a lot more to me!

                suruchi said...

                Hi Droopy Rose.
                Thanks a bunch!
                Sadly all my pragmatism comes out through posts only...if I could use it more in life actually:-)

                Anonymous said...

                @ suruchi The reason I commented as 'anonymous' is also to make a point. I know so much about you and you dont know me from anywhere ! To clarify, incase you are watching over your shoulder, we actually dont know each other. I chanced upon your blog while browsing.
                Waht you want to write about is really your decision. I follow a lot of blogs but when I read yours in particular I felt like a voyeur.
                That is why thoughts about safely and vulnerability crossed my mind when I read your blog which I thought I should express to you.
                I also want to compliment you on your blog , I like your writing style a lot which is why I actually read each and every post.Also, your blog posts are nice , long and detailed. Most blog posts are so small that they leave us thirsting for more. All the best with your writing !

                suruchi said...

                Hi Anonymous,
                Thank you and can I please know who you are?
                You bet I am watching over my shoulder...

                Also the part about liking the fact that my posts are long and detailed-you win all the brownie points.
                That's exactly my thought when I write...I feel ki abhi readers have not really dipped enough into the issue and by the time I allow a little bit of dipping, I am already done four pages:/
                It's more like drenching the poor souls!

                Thank you again for the praise and hope I get to know you soon!:-)
                Though I don't think I can change much consciously!

                Anonymous said...

                @ suruchi Glad you took my comments in the right spirit :-)

                Loved your latest post "I hear, I watch and wait' as well. I think you can write a book someday. Like most indian authors you have the gift of imagery. Your descriptive powers are so strong that immedietely you conjure the image before the readers eyes. Also, you have a connect with the reader which is like the X -factor. Either you have it ...or you don't ! Im amazed that being from a one horse town like Kanpur ( OK, I know i've raised your hackles by that comment ;-) you have command over the language and no inhibitions in your writing. Your free spirit is palpable in your writing and thats what makes it even more interesting.

                Shruti said...

                Hey Suruchi

                I don't want to lie but I don't agree wid most of the things here.. we are all different, right?

                I do however feel you are so right about women dressing less for herself and more for others and many more points. It's a fun read though ;)

                suruchi said...

                Hi Anon,
                Please come out of the closet...if the curiosity would not kill the cat, it would definitely send her is some coma of sorts:(

                Thank you again for the praise, though my poor little town was unnecessarily pulled into it...Kanpur needs a little revamping:-)

                By the way, you are not too bad with the command over the language yourself:-)
                Now can we please know each other...er...matlab, can I know you?
                PHULLEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE:-)

                suruchi said...

                Hi Shruti,
                Baby you don’t have to agree yaar!
                It was just my observation and some could be bang on and some just a shot in the dark...
                Thanks for visiting n glad you enjoyed it:-)

                FRANKLIN JOSEPH said...

                Ohhh my gosh!R u a mind reader of boys?Who d hell r u to judge men?Don't be so ardent to judge us....the hardy boys !! How dare you witch?I feel awful reading a lot! This is pretty ridiculous!Not fair at all.Much of what you've commented about boys is partly true.I cant deny it! But how come u , a silly girl express so much about us!Do you blindly think girls are smarter than boys?Obviously not!Remember that!I cant accept your damn hard work of observations and research about us!

                FRANKLIN JOSEPH said...

                ohhh my gosh! This is pretty ridiculous!How come u silly girl judge boys so confident? how dare you?Much of what you've commented is partly true about boys,but i cant agree to all.Has anyone ever get through this whole point?I screwed up trying to read the whole point.I think you sense disadvantages in men.That's unfair!Every men and women has his own advantages and disadvantages.you can't deny it! And remember don't be so ardent to judge anyone,especially us ....the hardy boys! Aww I got headache and my eyes got strained sticking to these sentences.
                Another point i wanted to ask is do you think girls are smarter than boys,eh?Absolutely not!I can feel and sense your bad thought about boys.Screw you off!This article is nice though.

                suruchi said...

                Dear Franklin
                Omg...I spent a lot of time decoding what you said n eventually gave up!
                Thank you for the effort, but mine exceeded yours:-)

                Yours not so truly
                Silly girl!

                *omg, omg, omg*
                :-)

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