Amazing people who make me go on n on n on:)

30 January, 2012

The Ghats of the Only World


All girls wait for their happily ever after-grow up with dreams of watching themselves walk the aisle on their wedding date, or so do most girls I come across make me believe.

I never dreamt of marriage. I never imagined myself living in a big mansion where I would be sitting on a plush lounge with two doting kids and a mantle-place behind us portraying a huge frame of my husband and me. Yes, I am technically faulty by default.

But as far as I can remember-I think I have often dreamt even with waking eyes, of someone coming on a white horse from out of a haze, looking stately and handsome and smiling at me as his stead paces closer in slow motion. Yes, I am technically a douche bag too. I believe I was responsible for all those Yash Chopra movies doing well in the 90’s because I stepped on the threshold of my youth then with such buffoonery in my head. Filmy I know, sue me.

What if such dreams do come true? Do we have the sensibility to realize it or the sense to accept it? Do we have the strength to contain it and the guts to declare it, even to ourselves? What if our happily ever after is ever with us but we continue to search? What if these dreams are nothing but dreams or what if the actuality is a dream that is waiting for you to awaken from?

Dreams are fascinating-it is god’s way of saying sorry for the reality he created. But an apology is often not what we desire. We desire the healing of wounds that mostly are self inflicted. If I go out to search love, I would find it waiting on every corner I turn. But am I ready to take chances to turn on a crossroad that would take me perhaps windingly to the road less travelled. But then all roads less travelled must be so for a reason. One man’s adventure can be another man’s trauma.

I wonder why love comes constituted with pain. And then a love without pain-is really love or just a sense or whiff of it? Love is the epicentre of all that’s in motion-be it the earth, be it the beating heart. If love is all we need, why do we rush after money and things it can buy? I want to give love a chance but am I ready to take a chance? What if I find it outside the constraints of my wedlock? Blasphemy? What if I rediscover it with my partner? Herculean? What if I actually just need to fall in love with myself again? Seamless?

Love needs to be given a chance just as life gives us one. Cliché as it sounds but can’t seem to remember anything else more apt here-We can’t stand at the edge of a pond and try to gauge its depth. We have to take our feet out. It may be cold and then comes the decisive juncture. Should I still venture forward? Should I just dip my feet and come out dry? Should I move in and allow myself to be soaked for I am tired of being parched? And in case I do get sodden, would I smear the Ghats I turn back to with dripping droplets that spill with every step I take? I am at the Ghats of the only world and standing here, wondering if the water’s too deep or my step too steep!

P.S. Been in a weird mood lately, don't know if I make sense. My internet's mummy's been fucked, so not being able to read posts. Hopefully, soon and thank god for pen drives.

24 comments:

Rià said...

'Love needs to be given a chance just as life gives us one. We can’t stand at the edge of a pond and try to gauge its depth.'

So true...couldn't agree more. hope ur internet thing gets sorted soon!

R-A-J said...

Hey Suruchi, I think love needs to come with pain - only then will we hold it closer to our hearts..

Like someone once said, "the only real signs that I've grown up are the hearts I've broken n the hearts that hv broken me.."

I agree with u.. Jump into the water!

:)

Devil Incarnate... said...

Love needs time to evolve itself.. totally totally agree with u.. Bt i do believe.. that whether u believe in love or not, at one point of time in will touch u and make u realise its worth.. coming here after a longg time and u amazing post was waiting here :)

SuKupedia ™ :) :) said...

give it a shot...it deserves a chance as u said :) :)

Spiritual Sinner said...

Made me shudder ...

Anonymous said...

Koi mil gaya !!!!

pygmalion said...

It makes perfect sense, Suru :-)
And by some unknown intuition , you speak for me, I am doubting should I dip and get back dry?
Well written Suru, very well..

Saru Singhal said...

Love without pain is not possible. Love sets off the flow of various emotions and you acknowledge pain first.

Loved the way you ended it. This line blew me away -

"I am at the Ghats of the only world and standing here, wondering if the water’s too deep or my step too steep!"

Go on and take the plunge!

Live2cherish said...

Wow! your posts are making me fall in love with your writing all over again.

I would say most of the time we are so insensitive to realize love around us. Surely, a second chance should be given to love.

Anita Jeyan Sandeep said...

Love can hurt, but cant be bad. Always worth soaking in it :)

Lady Whispers said...

pain and love are synonymous if there is no pain u wouldnt realize ur in love too

And loving urself is important I m learning it...u too soak urself and give it a try...worth it :)

Hope said...

Sounding me, yet again....
"I am at the Ghats of the only world and standing here, wondering if the water’s too deep or my step too steep!" Wow! Beautifully penned the irony, hindi mein bole to......
kash-ma-kash!
Well, I have a question further.. Why only a second chance? Why can't we keep falling in and out of love all our life. One thing I've realized, love is not something that's about 'someone', it's about yourself. It's about finding new you every time you fall in love. So, tell me! Why should I be allowed to find a new me only once, or twice? Why can't I keep doing that over and over!?

Jack said...

Suruchi,

We do dream of many things which may not be attained in real life. So we have to compromise with things we have been able to get. Love does have a little dose of pain, it so seems. So give a shot to revitalize love at home. Do share what made you get into such mood.

Take care

Shreya said...

Why does love have to be pain ??? And even if we know it is pain ... why don't we just look to resolve it or have we accepted the fact that this pain is inflicted by someone else? ... Sorry I would seem like preacher if I speak any further. But we all know answers to all these it is just that we keep playing hide and seek with our own emotions.

Btw I'd say go get drowned it is a wonderful feeling. :)

Raja said...

bahut soch rahi ho(hope my hindi is not bad) :)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Had I said that, had I done this,
So might I gain, so might I miss.
Might she have loved me? just as well
She might have hated, who can tell!

~Author unknown to me. :P

The world revolves around love, and love's manifestations. I think it lies somewhere in the center, the one extreme is just as dangerous as the other. Hate on one side, and obsession on the other. But I think that a reanimation is always possible, so your love can take care of doing the fairy kind of story for you again?
And what would be this life if it was only love all around? Without alternate spells, we'd never know what it is, to be loved.

Beautiful write up :)

Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete

Bikramjit said...

hmmm I dont know what to say here. I think dreams are something that our subconscious mind thinks of , or what we want in an ideal world.

the world in not ideal though. turn the question around WHAT IF you already have the love and you dont see it :)

Love is a word that is used too much as i have experienced, and it comes with pain because you realise it was not love it was jsut a JOKE for someone as you mentioned one man's dventure and the others nightmare...

Yes love needs to be given a chance but we come back to the same question What is love ? ..

moreover you will never know how deep the water is or how steep you are till you take that step and plunge urself ...

if someone says to me will i make the same mistake , YES i will and why not you only live one so might as well try it out ..

Take care and smile ..

Bikram's

Mirage said...

Love you for this beautiful post. <3

'Dreams are fascinating-it is god's way of saying sorry for the reality he created.'
WOW!!

Love is one of the most inexplicable topics, like life. Every person has got his own definition. But yes, I too feel that it is always worth it to get oneself soaked in its colors because no matter what one always comes out with a lesson for life. And one should never stop falling in love. And if it is the same person..fall in love with that person everyday. It's beautiful. And it will always be. :)

Suruchi said...

@Ria,
And like they say, truth is never easy:-)


@R-A-J,
Thank you and what you said about what someone said-super true:-)


@Devil Incarnate,
Great to see you back-and glad to have welcomed you with a post worth it:-)

Suruchi said...

@Suku,
I think I will, but then I don’t think I always think right:-)


@Spiritual Sinner,
Itna daravana hain?:-)


@Anonymous,
Koi kho gaya is more like it!

Suruchi said...

@Pygy,
We are echo sisters and shall remain so...let’s hope whether we take the step or not, we get drenched nevertheless:-)


@Saru,
I kinda liked the ending myself...thank you!


@Live2cherish,
That’s such a beautiful thing to say-I hope I continue to give you the chance to remain in love here:-)

Suruchi said...

@Anita,
Yes, so it is....why bring on a dry day when it is not one:-)


@Lady Whispers,
You never know how much it pains till it pains, right?:-)


@Hope,
Kashmakash is a beautiful word-if only it was a beautiful feeling too! And I have always maintained-self love is often the only love...and falling is not in our hands...must be in our feet then:-)

Suruchi said...

@Jack,
It’s just one of those days Uncle Jack, nothing serious:-)


@Shreya,
You must speak further Shreya....you are one young gal who always makes a whole lot of sense...I look forward to learning from you:-)
We know answers, we seek validations!


@Raja,
Ji...to sochna also and to not bad Hindi at all:-)

Suruchi said...

@Blasphemous Aesthete,
A reanimation sounds like the soundest of advice...thank you! And finally someone agrees, there is nothing better than to love and be loved:-)


@Biky,
Yes, I would agree on the fact that however painful it is-we often will choose to make the same mistakes again-such is love:-)
And smiling for sure...


@Mirage,
Thank you for your words...and yes, one should never stop falling in love-that would then resemble a stagnant pond!

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