Amazing people who make me go on n on n on:)

07 February, 2012

Are you raining Praise today?


Strange is human nature-if someone praises us, they are sensible and a good judge of character. If they acclaim our contemporaries-what flattery and hogwash! One person saying nice things about my posts, I deem it as truthful, judicious awareness and the same person commenting generously on someone else’s mediocre blog is what I see as motivation by reader’s pressure. Yes, glints of narcissism are not always apparent.

It is as natural as breathing to believe nice things being said about us. We can be lulled into almost anything while listening to those earnest words which our mind signals to us as a craving we deserve. We want the world to borrow our eyes to see us like we do and borrow our mind to think the same too. We don’t want perspectives, we want garbed approvals.

It would be almost impossible to find someone who totally hates himself. Self love is the first love and like they say, the first love is the hardest to give up. So when someone fans this fire, it spreads faster than blood does in the veins. It takes us to a whole new echelon of enthusiasm within the frame of our skin and delicate layers of deliberation within.

Praise is not beyond us even if we are not one of those who are beyond praise. An act of appreciation affirms our connection to each other-validates us, expands who we are in this world. Even a little bit of a positive reception goes a long way to ensure action that may otherwise be postponed or crushed under the farce of monotony or disinclination.

It is a universally occurring phenomenon. Even those who profess to be above it are really somewhere lingering around its fringes waiting to be enticed by potent and believable enough bait. It is the marijuana of success, a vicious circle wherein enough is never enough and more leads to a wish for an encore.

The intellectuals to the retards, the artistic to the vulgar, the man on the chair to the man on the street, everyone’s looking to be considered special-every ordinary human motivated to be derived as inspiringly extraordinary or at least rare, whether they admit it or not, to a greater degree or less. And when someone gives that to us-we raise them to a pedestal just as they raise us to some altar in our minds.

Praise is often intoxicating. Watch someone who has left footprints on some soil, worth his mettle. See him bask in his own glory, drench in public adulation and tread only in hunger for greater applause. It is then that a dip in appeal occurs-for he alters to live now to please others who loved him in the first place for loving himself as he was.

Praise can balance you just as much as it has the potent power of turning you giddy. It is often misleading-it plays games of hallucination and you begin to imagine materialization of thoughts that were hitherto latent. It evokes desire and the drive. Whether it is positive or negative depends on its provocation and how much you allow it to go to your head and eventually the rest of the systems follow suit. 

The only weapon safeguarding us against this lethal attack would be the armour of discretion-being able to realize when and who is genuine and what is being said merely to ensure a reservation in the good books. Someone somewhere is always trying to get into your books-whether or not you happen to be sitting with an open or inviting one, it does not matter.

We live not for ourselves but for the redemption of how we should be. We want praise for we want to know we are not being discarded like the chaff at the flour mill of life that is grinding us mercilessly. So let's accept what we subconsciously plea to the world-as you rotate the blades of this machine, by kind to grind me to a fine powder that satiates not just your hunger but also makes me feel fulfilled in a life well lived.

26 comments:

Spiritual Sinner said...

I think , as long as the praise makes us better ourself and induces us in a positive direction , there's no harm in it :)

But yeah ... just doing things to get praised . Now that' bad .

Be yourself , if people do throw compliments . Take them with a bow .. or else ,bhaad mein gayi duniya .
We can NEVER be immune to it :)

CD!!! said...

Read somewhere- Praise or flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself. Your post reminds me of this line:)

pygmalion said...

Strangely I have noticed that I can understand people in the virtual world much better and faster than in real. I ve seen that very few bloggers appreciate fair criticism or genuine comments. If I say anything not so approving, which I ofcourse do, I guess people take it personally. Now why am i not keeping quiet? I just cant because I am a reader who comments spontaneously..
But Suru, as you said, one should have a fair assessment of oneself and open to fair comments. And those who comment also, should not do it as a means to make the author follow his/her blog..
A very relevant thought Suru.. much love:-)

Rahul Bhatia said...

Suruchi, learned as you are, am sure must be knowing about Maslow's theory of 'Hierarchy of Needs' which keeps the multitude of people at a level where the social affiliation is so important!The top of the pyramid has Self Actualization- where on people like Gandhi, Lata Mangeshkar etc can reach!

Tanvi said...

I don't know whether I should praise this post or not now? :) Kidding!

I try and keep myself in check. I take praise from people I see in high regard and criticism from the same. Everyone else ... I smile, thank and move forward ... 'coz they actually don't know me or matter in larger scheme of "my" life.

As for praise in the blogging world. I keep the criticism to myself ... and praise only when I mean it. Just like how I take criticism from only people who matter, I also give criticism to only those who matter :) Don't know if it is right or not but works for me and helps me keep my mental peace!

Thought provoking post!!! :o)

♡ from © tanvii.com

Anonymous said...

You have made a single point that you have only repeated throughout the post. !

Chintan Gupta said...

I am not a fan of flattery because I am my worst critic. Thus, when I am not happy, it doesn't matter who likes it. To me, praise, appreciation, has to come from with in first otherwise it is just obligation.

RiĆ  said...

Now that u have evoked so many thoughts...i don't know if i shud praise u or not! ;) :D
Totally agree with what Tanvi has said above. I would probably said the same thing.

Jenny said...

:-) I am not praising this blog.. But yes when I do type comments, I always re read it a couple of times to ensure, I am not flattering! and if I havenot liked a blog that much, instead of criticising, I don't comment on it.

And about myself, even though I know they may not always be true, but I do like praises.. and I think most of us do..

Vyankatesh said...

Fantastic post.

That's why Mark Twain said - I can live for two months on a good compliment.

Catch my thoughts on a similar topic - Appreciation - written a few days back.

Bikramjit said...

it depends i think who praises and how .. earlier when i started blogging i would get very happy when someone wrote , how lovely or beautiful this and that, till i came to my senses and saw they wrote the same two words on almost all the blogs.

Praise is good and does good when genuinely given. if done just to make sure that the person visits your blog in response then that is bad.

I hope and wish i dont do that, although sometimes all you can comment is the two words :)

but as others have pointed out we are human and love a praise , I like it too when someone says something .. and especially the lovely comments you leave they do boost my ego a lot ..

so do i now praise how lovely this article is , you are such a lovely person etc etc etc :) bolo bolo ...

Bikram's

Keirthana said...

Wow, in my opinion, you nailed it. The human tendency of feeding off praise can be seen everywhere and I don't see an exception to it. Some way or other, the love for self creeps in and makes us all narcissistic, doesn't it? :) But it is good to love oneself as long it doesn't make one go all drunk on the fame and praises that he/she receives.

Nice post!

Sakshi said...

of course we all need the encouragement :) it is the high to keep moving forward!
Whats with the plethora of serious posts though??

Purba said...

And she's back!

Praise is intoxicating but I take criticism more seriously. Agree, I sulk and do not accept it gracefully. But it's criticism that eggs me on.

Loved your thoughtful write up and you know I don't say that too often :)

SuKupedia ™ :) :) said...

I am always wary of praises....like it but if it is not detailed and just some lame lines then I don't even bother...quick to say a thank u if someone says good words but when someone says something negative then frankly the initial reaction is 'What nonsense' and then only when the brain takesover heart do I reply...:D :D :D...

sulagna ™ said...

as long as the praise for you is worthy kya kharabi hai ?? so when i tell you that you have really toned down..its true and you very well deserve it after the long gyming session and it comes at even a greater compliment for people to take care of their health..so yes..no matter what Su, there are certain people who hold a very special place and i am very generous with my genuine encouragement and love for them...and their gorgeous daughters !!

Jack said...

Suruchi,

True, we are surely prone to get elated on being praised. Who does not like to be rewarded for good work? It is only after a lot of experience that one understands if he or she is being praised truthfully or just flattered. Good post which almost all of us can relate to.

Take care

Jack said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shreya said...

"We don’t want perspectives, we want garbed approvals." i so agree with this. :)
Just offering a tiny observation of mine, most often if you can stay stable in the worst of criticism and do not take it to heart then in bestest of appreciation you won't fly either. :) Just accept the fact that all have opinions and they are free to have so and keep moving easy. :)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Okay lets try to answer each one separately in some borrowed words, and some owned.

1. What mad Nijinsky wrote
About Diaghilev
Is true of the normal heart;
For the error bred in the bone
Of each woman and each man
Craves what it cannot have,
Not universal love
But to be loved alone.


2. "It flattered her, where she was most susceptible of flattery, to think how, wound about
in their hearts, however long they lived she would be woven..."


3. The worth of what we seem to be unaware of is often realized when it is trampled, or infringed.

4. "In the best, the friendliest and simplest relations praise is necessary, just as
grease is necessary to keep wheels turning. "


5. "The Marquis believed himself to be hardened against flattery. He thought that he had
experienced every variety, but he discovered that he was mistaken: the blatantly
worshipful look in the eyes of a twelve-year-old, anxiously raised to his, was new to
him, and it pierced his defences."


6. Who said barter system is long gone? It exists, in compliments.

7. That is when I realized I should not write for the sake of writing.Every man is said to have his peculiar ambition. Whether it be true or not, I can say for one that I have no other so great as that of being truly esteemed of my fellow men, by rendering myself worthy of their esteem.

8. Too much power (like love) drives a man insane, corrupts.

9. We all are attention seekers, some seem to get it through affection, some get it through invoking negative emotions like dislike and (hate?)revulsion. Some manage to get it through their indifference.

10. "I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent."

That was long :)
And true too!

Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete

Suruchi said...

@SS,
Ji Gurudev Akshay...like always, spot on:-)


@CD,
That’s a wonderful line-saying not what we think but what they want to hear.


@Pygmy,
Very few people can speak their mind without worrying about how others would mind it-that’s why you are treasured my lovely :-)

Suruchi said...

@Rahul,
The theory sounds interesting....should read up more-thank you although apparently I am not so learned:-)


@Tanvi,
You are so balanced Tanvi and so super polite that I can’t imagine you criticising anyone ever...that’s what makes you so popular and works for you for sure:-)


@Anon,
I hope that single point went home...and sometimes we have to repeat it till it does:-)

Suruchi said...

@Chints,
Exactly-we almost always know when we deserve what...if only we almost always stop to care :-)

@Ria,
I know...we all are almost similar and hence we click:-)


@Vyankatesh,
Thank you so much...and wow, two months is a long time, Mark Twain must be terribly humble:-)

Suruchi said...

@Biky,
You are never ever short of praises for me-thank you ji, I feel blessed:-)


@Keirthana,
We can’t help love-till we don’t get someone else to do so with, we love ourselves and then we love us both :-)


@Sakshi,
I’ve lost my funny bone-and I think for good:(

Suruchi said...

@Purba,
Wow, if you say that, I totally love this too....chalo matlab I do make some sense here:-)


@Suku,
That’s the most sensible thing to do :-)


@Sulagna,
Haha...wow, did I get an underhand compliment and did I tell you I loved it? :-)

Suruchi said...

@Jack,
Thank you :-)


@Shreya,
And I shall repeat that to myself: they are all opinions and they are free :-)
Thank you.


@BA,
Anshul,
Wow...each statement is like a post in itself....I read it and read it over again and makes more sense than my own write-up. That is why you are the blogger I most love to see in my comment box. Thank you :-)You make it worth for the writer to write when she is read and spoken to that genuinely.

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