You just have to watch the movie ‘Dil Kabbadi’...if not just for Konkona Sen and Rahul Bose, whom I adore...(add Rahul Khanna and Irfan Khan also to this list)...then for it’s hilarious theme of fidelity in human relations after tying the knot....
Again a reference of a movie here because I have to admit that crappy Hindi movies would continue to rule my roost...that is THE only ritual I religiously follow every weekend and not in the teeny weenie bit ashamed of it....ok, you could add that McDonald’s burger to this sacrament too...
Oh come on....few things in life that we must be conventional about!
Anyways, fidelity is a common place issue which has been overtly debated and interpreted.
Is there really such a thing as a committed married man or did this breed get extinct on the heels of the dinosaurs?
Can there really be a balance between the craving of the mind and the itch of the body?
Are women still in the closet or is there someone edible hidden there now along with them?
Is there a Bill Clinton struggling to subside in every man and a Monica Lewinsky simmering to rise in all women?
Well, judging by the standards of the fast evolving issues and morals, there is no longer a broad based accepted standard that we can relate ourselves with.
It’s a social jungle out there and if you want to be a part of it, you’ve got to mingle! The degrees of mingling and blending and merging, is up to your own premise to maintain.
A recent unearthing I made in this context did not shock me, which became a shock in itself eventually. A very happily married couple friend of ours has her husband going out on frequent trips even abroad, where he has no qualms about visiting the fantasy lands of the alluring women, attained of course at a set cost. This is not oblivion to the wife who chooses to discount it in the name of giving her husband space or the consolation that eventually he would have to return to her...
There is yet another, who allowed her husband to take a solo trip to Bangkok with his ‘kabbabi-shabbabi-sharabi’ battalion of friends!!!!!!!!!!!!! We call them the K2S gang...all ‘K’ things are anyways over the top and the abbreviated KS or the Kamasutra is just a coincidence by the way, purely not intended.
So there I was all aghast at how could she do it? (Well, not so dramatic actually and that’s a different matter that when he returned I pulled their legs to get him tested for AIDS first!)
Men will be men...period...there’s just no way you can stop that tongue from lolling or those eyes from popping or those legs from continuously shifting as though their pants were on fire. Some just gape, others conquer and few lucky ones actually become ‘mates’.
Even we, as women are perhaps becoming more open to letting our husbands be...ok, you can have that boys night alone for a change, once in a while...as long as that ‘while’ doesn’t come too often and more importantly...probably because we have so many of our own little pleasures to indulge in during the absence...see, despite all the hoopla over the magnanimity of a female heart and her forever ‘giving’ exterior edifice....deep down, women can’t help being selfish....if she’s apparently doing a sacrifice for you, as it deems there....be sure my friend, there is an underhand mission formulating about there somewhere right that minute....not very flattering for us...huh? True nevertheless in most cases...most normal cases that is!
Harmless flirting is the beeline for all Page 3 get-togethers...women prefer to sit with the men and the latter are all ears for the girly gossip and desperately attempt to be the solo focus of it....lavish compliments are exchanged, down to the fact that the body seems leaner or fuller at just the right spots; and the traditional hand shake and hug and a peck on the cheek to the opposite sex on public display, is no longer such a scandalous transgression. My dear beloved often pulls my leg asking why I have to greet the men with a handshake when most of the women would generally suffice with a coy ‘hello’....I tell him why the bloody hell then has the almighty bestowed soft hands on me for....and so he smiles as also, when he sees me chatting sometimes on the internet...he’d just add.... ‘You’ve lost it’ and I’d add back...’I never had it in the first place so where does the question of losing it arise....!’
At another time, I remember distinctly how I had stopped many a beating hearts when I jumped into a solemn men’s only discussion to take my beloved aside and show him the hot new chick on the block, who was so much the talk of the town at the moment....it’s another matter here again that it was no short of an orgasmic pleasure for me to see the faces of many other husbands whose wives would jerk their heads off to look in another direction when a pretty young thing would pass by!
So there we are, a race of mixed up, screwed and baffled buffoons often irrational ones to boot. We seek solace in the arms of our upgraded appraisals. We give each other space and often take liberties without really willing to give the same to our better halves. We venture out sometimes to take some risks as long as the chances of tripping down the steep valley are grim. Some of us even cross the line justifying ourselves on our paths to it....so far so good!
But then who are we again to judge others when they do the same? In the fragile worlds that each one of us has built around us, can we afford to throw stones on others with so much vehemence?
Commitment is a word that has been stretched and extended in its definition as well as its horizons...to each one his own...but let’s just behave like mature adults finally and stop that rising eyebrow from going up in smug disdain each time when we encounter a human folly....
That’s exactly my point, my friend...
...it’s only humans who make mistake and some even learn from them...that the mistake does not become one, till it is discovered!