18 January, 2009
What Women Want?
This one comes in wake of a request made by a dear friend of mine, who is confounded by womenly issues and baffled often and on by the biggest question that gives sleepless nights to the supposedly stronger sex: WHAT WOMEN WANT?...Notice the use of women and not woman...that’s how he asked me...and that’s how it is...one woman is never enough...they want them all!
So I sat down to revisit this article which I had started long ago, but gave up in between because it had become too dreamy as if straight from a romantic comedy, just out of a theatre...Would you believe it I even proposed that the man in question should know how to sing...almost like a quintessential pre requisite!
So thankfully here I am rethinking, editing and revising to bring out some grains of truth according to my sensibilities. May god help us all!
Another dear friend of mine writes blogs too. A while ago he had come up with a similar piece of post, but from a man’s perspective. Needless to say it was cynical and wrapped in loads of practicality, as one would expect from a man. He ran a little survey and thanks buddy, for I am taking the liberty to print here the questions you asked from your female fan fraternity- F3....including me!
He won’t mind the publicity he gets here and if the women want to visit his blog after reading this...he sure would have no complains. Here’s his version:
What is the key to getting a woman’s heart?
A. Sex appeal
C. A large one that fits her lock (size of the key does matter)
D. Give her a big house and all the space the feminist bitch within her wants
E. Kindness and sincerity
H. Chocolates/roses/gifts as frequent surprises
I. “How should I know”/ “You tell me” in other words lead kindly
J. Bloody mixture of them all and more
So having mentioned these, half of which I still don’t know what they refer to...What do we as a fraternity, as a social layer, as a bundle of expectations and hopes, look for in a suitor who is all out to woo us?
I had very emphatically refuted all the above questions and come up with my own explanations....
A WARM HEART:
Nothing touches us as quick as a warm beating heart....almost finds an instant echo in our own. The easiest way to reach us is by showing that there is oodles of goodness in there and the readiness to take us to the comfort zone where we can just be ourselves and know that you are around, whether we go ecstatic or fumbling on our paths. Someone who makes you feel good about life, himself and yourself! Is not a joker mind you...but can make you laugh, not just from your mouth, but by the heart. Has the ability to be genuine and reach out and is not afraid of being tender...aw...you have us in your shackles! Added to this, if you hug and hug well and do it every now and then, without the sexual tension involved...you become too good to be true! A warm touch...yes just a mere touch...minus the complications and extensions...makes us wobbly in the knees!
A MENTAL PLANE:
This is like the second most important requirement for me and I am supposing would be for any woman with some grey matter over her shoulders. The mental connect is an absolute must.....must as in MUST. The man in question must be able to provide us with intellectually stimulating conversations that we feel compelled to return to again and again. A beautiful mind scores any day over a beautiful body...mmm...yup, no doubt there...it does! There is almost an orgasmic release of pleasure if the man understands your comments as they are meant to be...a sheepish dig, a harmless tease, something dipped deep in sarcasm...and he gets the complete import of it...while others demand an elucidation for the same...
Oh! I hope god continues to implant more of these traits...
A BEAUTIFUL BODY:
This comes third in line...though often it becomes the first to pull our interest....but then when we open the newspaper each morning, there are 100 things screaming for our attention...only after a little in-depth search, we are able to zero in...Whether what seemed good on the surface is worth its salt and so, there again the first two rules take precedence!
But then back here...a beautiful body...ugh...not the muscled kind please!
I don’t know why guys pump in so much iron at the gym in the mad quest for bulges...at the right points of course. A fit body with a pleasant and smiling, face is often enough. Drop dead gorgeous looks are generally a turn off....because they come in package deal, with the snooty tag and loads of attitude brushing down the sleeves.
Any guy who checks you out top to bottom and says....man isn’t it your lucky day today to tumble upon a god’s-gift-to-womankind like me....deserves a whack on his face....seriously! Mr. Me-me-me there’s the door for you.
Smiles do it for me, by the way.... I am sucker for big, warm smiles that have the capacity to show at the slightest provocation, uninhibited and warm. The smiles that reflect the serenity and sparkle of within and is disarming...Oh! Why can’t you guys give us more of these?
BEING A MAN:
Now that is an oxymoron in itself...I love this word...something that’s a contradiction in itself. A man with a hint of mystery yet shows the trust to bare it all....a man who is not afraid to shed tears in a movie yet holds strong when the economic crisis boggles him...a man who can show mush with just as much panache as he can check you when you are going out of line...
A man who holds the door for you outside a restaurant yet wouldn’t mind asking you to pay for the evening out just for a pampering kick.
That’s a man alright! Being able to hold his turf when things around him crumble.... be the shoulder to cry on and not turn us into a tissue bag with your cribbing and whining. Keep us always at the edge with what you would come up with next. Hopelessly unpredictable and yet incomparably dependable is a lethal combination. Let’s face it...we still like our men chivalrous and proud. The metro sexual man is great any day....but then, treat me like a lady and surely I’d treat you like a man!
STAND BY ME:
Being able to support his woman, when the world tries to suppress her or stand by her side when the world is bent on snubbing her... To be able to adore her even on the bad hair days...to tell her she has gotten fat with just the right amount of empathy and the right words.... To pull her up when she’d down or put a hand behind her when she would be up, so that she stays there.
This is what we definitely want! Care to provide us with these and we’d surely be around.
Someone whom we can tell... three locks of grey hair have surfaced, or I think a pimple is breaking out on my cheek just before that big night...and see him not panic or shrivel or squirm....aw....when you’ve made a complete idiot of yourself and he still feels no permanent damage is done...aw again!
See I told you my version was hopelessly romantic....
I’m sure you are already thinking...like this no man would ever match up...oh come on...we are always ready to tone down the degrees and make adjustments...we women are a magnanimous lot...!
Abhi I was so tempted to add these too:
Should know how to sing woeful ballads.
Should know how to shake his booty well and burn the dance floor.
Should dress right and suited to the occasion.
Should not scratch or strategically arrange his assets in a public display of horrendousness.
Should have a good deep voice.
Should have good teeth and no body odour.
Should give us space and treat right the people around us who matter.
Should be able to understand the day’s tidings by our morning face...get those gestures n expressions to fathom our unspoken word.
Should praise us...lavishly, frequently and in a way that sounds genuine.
Should shower us with surprises and pleasant ones.
Should believe in fidelity and not expect too much of it from us.
Should be neat n orderly and never make us wait...for a call, message or date.
Should remember the dates...ok not the day when we hugged, or the day we first touched...but anniversaries and birthdays...hello...that’s not much to ask even from the dimmest of brains!
See, just tempted to add...not really added....so you can release that ‘phew’...
Having said these nevertheless....let me get this straight too...
What men think women want....this ‘should’ list above, his wallet, diamonds and the likes, out of the world sex, size does matter and other such inane guesses...they don’t really count...!
Maybe on occasions or in certain predicaments and for exceptional nut cases in our fraternity...but not always...!
There’s a reason why Shahrukh Khan is the king of Bollywood...reason why Valentine’s Day has grown so big...reason why Mills and Boons continue to sell in India and reason why some men score over the others...
We the women, just can’t get enough of mush, never would!