Let’s face it: America and Americans have done a lot for us...
Look at the vanishing clothes, the shifting culture, the independent youth, the empowerment of the single woman, the concept of old age homes-for the better or the worse and many other instances of urbanization that we owe to them.
However, if anyone wants to be urban chic in a jiffy, jump on to their slang bandwagon and there you may get entry to the most upstage circles. In a recent survey it was found that the quality most youngsters look for in their partners is the ability to speak in English, coming in line or at par with good looks. Hmm....impressive! So that’s why these English speaking schools do so well in India!
Anyways, I recently came across a book- more like a dictionary on the American slangs ‘From Flappers to Rappers’ and though at first glance I was put off with the idea that who in god’s name would like to read a thick, dumb book on slangs...but like always happens, upon deeper introspection it managed to get my attention for it was simply amusing and often bordering on the verge of being hilariously ridiculous. I have hand-picked some of these which managed to make me twit.
Ok, so next time you want to insult your peers with something that they won’t understand...call them...GONUS-the dim wit and all their talks can be termed as HOKUM or BALOONEY which in layman’s terms would simply mean nonsense...hehe...And this gets better... If he catches the joke slowly he is simply BONG. If he talks too much he’s a BAGPIPE and if he’s out of the ordinary in terms of good or bad, he’s a LALAPALOOSA...wow, sounds so cool, right? The Americans call the effeminate young man a COOKIE or a CREAM PUFF...hmm, how delectably thought provoking and an unpopular girl would be a ROACH...how disgustingly metaphorical!
One’s girlfriend may be addressed as his PUMPKIN...hello! Have u guys ever seen what a pumpkin looks like? I mean...kuch bhi bol doge yaar! BLAAH- it’s just no good...But then I like the term CUDDLE COOTIE- a young man who takes a girl for a ride...I like it specially coz there are so many of such dumb a@# around...you cuddle cooties, sudhar jao! These guys believe in the dictate of TOSS AND HIKE- to reject one girl and pursue another...hmm...aren’t the figurative implications of these terms amazingly outlandish?
A woman over the age of 30 is ROCK OF AGES...sadly I am an aged rock too...boo hoo! And a good looking boy is a PASHPIE or a DUCKY!
A ducky.....oh what fun to call one a ducky...! And if my dearies, you do not find these terms as laughable as I do...u can always tell me to CUT THE GAS...means not switch off the gas cylinder...but switch off my mouth...or just simply ask me TO TAKE THE AIR...means just leave. But as I know and believe that you would not... I continue with my empty talk or more appropriately and topically stated BOOGWASH...till you find it to be DITZEK- something funny.
I am hell bent on giving you something SWELL and SWANKY...don’t scratch your naughty heads on this one coz it just means something very good. If you still persist in saying RHATZ to infer how disappointing...hear this one...If someone comes up to you and says your PINKY IS OUT OF JAIL... my friend you may never know a Pinky or have the need to know one...it just means that your slip is showing and so proper up! Oh come on...don’t be such a POOPER or WET BLANKET- don’t be a killjoy and gimme a grin, a guffaw or at least a smile. I had to go through 133 pages to select these especially for you...couldn’t bear to go through the rest of the 233 pages...I am human too!
So being my SCOOCH-my buddy and also SQUISHY- forgetful (of the sin I have committed here of making you go through this bullshit)...just tell me to BOOT IT BABY...yup, it’s again not what you think...god bless your dirty mind...it just means...way to go! I guess this has been enough for both you and me...before it becomes a PISSER – a disappointing experience, I would just MELT-disappear...or hmm...let me just HANG IT EASY-see you later!