20 July, 2010
And those of you who did not...cold, murderous glares...subjected still to slightly lesser-big hugs if you make amends asap*whoa...don’t look at me in that duh-way that is reeking of no-idea-what-to-do air.
Now if “I” will have to tell you even this how you should make amends to phir what you did on this planet from so many blessed years?*
Anyways, I have been away from the World Wide Web for a while*actually just one week to be precise...but seems like eternity*
And the reason for this would unfold now:
So pretty, witty n hot ladies n gentlemen, girls n boys*yes I prefer associations in this order of adjectives only*...
This is to inform you that I, Suruchi Arora am officially a mommy now!
So goodbye good old days of freely bouncing about as n when I wanted to...
Good bye to being a compulsive flirt*for it was as it is difficult targeting preys after being a naari with sindoor n managlsutra....now I seems dinosaur-ic being a woman with nappies and rattles...boo hoo...there go my hope of ever having an extra-marital affair*
Also good bye to days of massages...hair spas...holidays...gyming*oho...my choti se love story in the previous post...looks like sabke nazar lag gaye...forget about nabbing now no chances of grabbing or even peeking at him!*
But then again...when one door closes at one point*in this case many doors actually*, they say another window opens somewhere else:
Hello days of responsibility of a seven months old angel, whom we now call Seeya- after Goddess Sita, to be explanative of her name!
And before I hear ‘What? Why? How? Whoa’ from my blogosphere world...
Lemme do some further clarifications:
Nope...I was not pregnant*dodos, if I had been, don’t you think I would have recited my guts out on morning sickness...increasing bumps...inclining/declining sex drive and the likes...I am very dedicated to the cause of my reader’s all-round enlightment!*
We have been at it from ten years to my marriage*that is making babies by the way...any reference to the act of making love coinciding with the ritual, is purely unintentional. What the heck...it is not...now go ahead n burn in jealousy...although our average of 5 days a week is in serious jeopardy now so you may also gloat in sadist pleasure*
Anyways again...all that effort...sweaty sessions, late night adventures, early morning drilling and the likes but to no effect....
Matlab we just enjoyed the act of making babies and never really got to make one actually!:/
Doctors, palmists, astrologers, tantriks, saints, sinners, co-travellers, strangers, chemists, grocer...anyone n everyone had some advice or suggestion or remedy for our “curse” the moment they got to know we were not having kids*thankfully the proposals did not include altering ‘positions’...phew!*
But seems like the universe was conspiring against me remaining half-single and half ready to half-mingle*if only I had found my other half...sigh!*
Aaaah...long, boring, sob story there...so would not bother you with details. Let’s just say every smiling, mad face has sometimes an ocean of not so smiling or happy moments!
Anyywaaaaaays....so now we have adopted this adorable little doll who has brought a 360 degrees change in my life!
And like everything else I share with you guys...
This story just had to come here too!
The idea of adoption surfaced about two months back due to extreme fondness of my beloved for kids. And despite me asking him to call me “baby” to suffice that...it just did not go!
As for me...I had come to terms with the way things God had sent my way...filled my little voids with teaching, blogging, facebook-ing and even gyming*which I got to join just last year after ten years of being injected with medicines n hormones n what not...please rest the dirty minds here*!
I could finally be in some shape...other than the distorted one!
So the cold feet came about at the onset and did not seem to leave me despite my warm heart that is always ready to give, embrace n share love wherever and however!
And then one day...just like that, God sent little Seeya to us*yes, so dramatically only*
She looked at us with her big, beautiful eyes, through those long curly lashes and little fingers pointing to me and we knew she was perfect!
Though when she first saw us her face was swollen in anger as though saying, “God...couldn’t you send me a better pair...alrite...kaam chala lete hoon inhe se!”
The more I held her...the more little frontiers of motherhood awakened in my hitherto frivolous heart n mind!
And that was a cause of apprehension erstwhile, a source of astonishment when it occurred and a reason of jubilation now!
You see, I never considered myself as a mother!
You know how little and not-so-little girls dream of a house, a husband and two kids...
Kids were never in my frame of things*as a matter of fact, neither was a house or husband...I never thought of my future...I just live joyfully for and in the present!*
And neither had I been around kids much...the only exception being myself!
Plus ten years of grinding my body, mind and soul for a child had kind of killed the urge for it!
So there was fear... the ‘what if’ fear!
What if I do not feel as mothers do?
What if I am unfair to a little child?
What if my personal freedoms and selfish ambitions take over my responsibilities?
But it has been a week of revelation!
Not only did I not have a maid for the child*which is considered as a norm by the way* the maid who cleaned my room n bathroom, washed my clothes, did the ironing...decided to call it quits the very day Seeya came!
*I know what you are thinking...the cribbing mom begins*
However, for four days I gave myself completely to her cause...
I barely slept for about three hours intermittently through the day and barely sat during the waking hours!
She was taking time to adjust and I was making efforts to do the same!
But every time she would wake up and I’d be there...she’d look at me with her big beautiful eyes and smile with her 6 teeth peeking and nose scrunching so adorably that I knew it was all worth it!
Here was a little bundle of life that depended on me entirely!
Here was a big bundle of a whole unadulterated gratification when she would cling to my torso and her little frame almost jutting into my bigger one!
She would put her soft cheeks to my face or tiny fingers to hold my ears and I felt like never before!
Some of my dear friends had encouraged me earlier but I feared I was not made for it. I now believe...motherhood does not get born...it is there...it just gets awakened in a woman when she holds a child!
Sounds filmy but it is very true!
I sometimes miss my carefree life!
But then when she kicks her legs in pleasure as I talk gibberish with her...I become numb to everything else!
Once every day I yearn to teach again or go into the blog world, both of which have been my sole caretakers of sanity till now...
But so many other times during the same day I thank God when she sleeps comfortably or when she says ‘ta-ta-ta’ to me*I take it to mean as I love you momma*
Enough of Karan Johar mush....can I return back to a bit of cribbing again!
In one week I have washed n cleaned her bum more times than I have probably cleaned mine in the whole month*may I assert that it does not indicate anything about my hygienic qualities or my bowel movements*
I have held her in my arms and swung them to put her to sleep for hours at a stretch, as she wakes up every hour through the night!*hopefully that should get my arms in better shape*
I eat less because during the eating times I am generally washing nappies or ironing them or sterilizing bottles*I just might FINALLY lose some weight*
We*my beloved n me* have had almost next to nothing sex *finally a spate of relief...yiyee, yiyee, yiyee!*
I think I may soon suffer from some of these syndromes....having under eye bags...back ache...arms muscles...sloppy dressing...no eyebrows done and sometimes no time even for a head wash!*but worry not my competitors*who aren’t many* or my suitors*who are even fewer* for I’LL BE BACK!
The first sign of it is returning to blog...
And slowly the wheels of time would for sure make me a ‘hot momma’!
For I always believe in one dictum...there’s no point of doing something or being someone...if you do not create it as an example for others!
Amen to my thought n aim!
P.S. Sorry for being unable to read your blogs...would return to do so as soon as I get a little more settled!
Oho...got to rush...the baby just woke up with a howl!:-)