22 May, 2010
Looking for a Reason!
They say there is a reason behind everything...
Reason why India is hostile towards Pakistan and vice versa...
Reason why a baby is cranky in the middle of the night...
Reason why some marriages work and others don’t!
But then, is a reason really that important?
Must all our actions be reactions?
Must we always know the whys and hows and what fors?
Imagine a world, where we could just shut up our brains for a while, to enjoy what is coming our way?
Like they say... ‘Aam khao...gutliyan mat gino!’
How do I find a reason for these?
The feeling for wanting to be a child again!
The need to love someone 24*7 or expect to be loved back just the same!
The void I feel within just like that in the middle of a hectic day!
The urge to call up a friend, with a sinking feeling for his/her well being!
The mind being never at rest, even when the body is!
How there is an excited gut feeling for a first time meeting with one and none what so ever even after meeting many times over with another!
The tiredness that encompasses my body even before I have kept down my first step from the bed in the morning!
Even if I do find a reason, my next quest is how to explain it to my heart, get it around to accepting it with a complete consensus and get over it?
The mind nagging continues...with or without stumbling upon reasons!
How can one explain these?
Digging for logic in the smile that curls at the corners of our mouth when we see a loved one?
Why a mother is more biased towards one child than another born out of her own womb?
Why sometimes silence speaks greater volumes than words?
What can be said about the worry gripping our heart when we see someone we love in pain?
We reflect an equal amount of pain with no making even injury!
You may say, it is love....but then what is love?
That’s the biggest reason defying phenomenon of all!
Why does it take just a few seconds for it to develop and even fewer for it to be killed?
Why is it more with someone met so fleetingly and not there at all for another, even after burning the midnight oil, day in and day out with them?
What could possibly be the reason?
Why someone wants to hear someone else’s voice each day?
Why we feel a heart-ache beyond logic or convention?
What we hate in someone we hate becomes what we love in someone we love?
Then also why we get tired of the same things that we loved once?
Why we can’t believe someone can love us so much or why and how can we love someone to the point of self forgetfulness?
Why little gestures sometimes become big and huge considerations fail to impress?
Try as you may, there would be no plausible or pragmatic explanation!
Where do I find a reason for-
The act of a mother walking down a road holding the palm of her little child, shifting herself towards the road to avoid the zooming vehicles which are still a good ten steps away!
The rationale why a rich man pulls down his Mercedes car window to watch the street urchins play in the monsoon gifted street puddle!
Why we give up on time spent together to earn more money and when earned enough, we use it to buy time?
For some questions there are no answers...
It is like me asking you why the sun is so hot or the night so dark?
It is...for it is supposed to be like that!
Has been and will be!
Beyond logic or scientific analysis!
Even if we find reasons, we can’t find alterations...even if we alter everything around us to perfection...we still find something else irking the eye or boggling the senses! Then why resist? Why not succumb?
Sometimes accepting things as they are becomes the key to solving n resolving the most complicated issues!
Sometimes not taking a decision when in a dilemma is the best decision taken!
Saying I am not closing my mind’s door...if ‘this’ happens, I welcome it with open arms...if ‘that’ does, I’ll be equally convinced that something better is in store!
Sometimes reasons kill spontaneity!
Logic defies nature!
For nature tells you to just be!
It does not give logic to the little flower why it should bloom only when spring comes or reasons why mountains must remain strong even in the face of all disasters! They just do so like following a natural law!
It does not allow clouds to fret for being uprooted and carried away like the weeds and having no base to cling to!
Nature will not let snow argue with it to justify why it should lose its identity just to make someone else fuller!
It will not tell the harsh wind to blow in another direction to save its beloved!
It accepts things as it is!
It teaches us to just be as we are meant to be!
Not fight...not fret...not resist...not insist!
Go with the flow like the river...no matter how much the meandering...how many rocks to stumble on...how much slackness in its path...there is no other outcome, except to reach its destination if it just keeps moving on!
Stop asking ‘Why me?’
Start saying ‘What next?’
Stop looking for their motives...
Start searching for your motivations!
Don’t be scared of confusion...welcome it to lead to flow of thoughts...channelize it!
Don’t deny the presence of voids...attempt to fill them!
There are many things to do, to feel, to ask, to tell, to live, to show, to share, to build, to destroy, to care, to enjoy, to hold on, to give up, to celebrate, to own...
All this to be done...just for the mere “reason” that they must be!
And after my volley of questions, I am sure you have one to ask me too:
What is the sense of this post?
I don’t know!
I am still trying to find a reason!