Amazing people who make me go on n on n on:)

01 August, 2011

Let's talk about Love!

Let’s talk about Love-love as we know it, love as we want it and Love as it should be. But they say “True love” is like a ghost that everyone talks about and few have seen. Love is like that-vague at one time and yet so bang-on at another. Try telling someone exactly why you love a person or exactly why you don’t love another and you’ll encounter utter helplessness of the highest order. And like someone said, it is more than three words mumbled before going to bed or hanging up the phone.

Love is a momentary or a momentous spark? Actually a bit of both-it comes to you like lightning. Strikes you once and effects you forever. The spark may be gone but the smouldering remains. It burns as well as warms you for life. But then for some it is like fever-it comes and goes with changes in the environment around them. For many others it is breathing-it sustains and completes and though we may not realise that we need it and have it all the time, when gone it suffocates.

The falling in love in itself is such an extraordinary phenomenon! It becomes a temporary state of frenzy within-as though all the atoms are suddenly charged up and hyper active. Slowly they become sluggish or your system becomes attuned to the velocity and you crave for an upgrade yes, I know, trying to sound all scientific and all. Some bodies harbour very lazy atoms perhaps-they become satisfied with what and how they are and live like that forever. You may view that as a blessing what another man may call a curse!

Love at first sight is something equally intriguing. Imagine for a blind man then-the dim possibility of this ever coming true. But blind mortals fall in love too. Sight as our guiding partner is a boon or bane depending upon how well we balance the other senses with it. So imagine it also for a man blinded by what he thinks is beautiful! There is only attraction at first sight-love is too long a process to get so simplified. Yet love at first sight can really not be dismissed as too dreamy, for dreams are said to reflect the sub conscious.

Erich Segal had said-‘True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.’ It is a latent phenomenon, say like a dormant volcano simmering within. To outsiders there appears nothing till one day it all bursts out and everything succumbs in its sway. Loving someone is not the same as being in love. A dear friend once said-everything is about a season, a reason or a lifetime. You may love with all your heart for all your life but that feeling of being in love comes for a short while. Some want the transient madness and others run after the perennial assurance.

We live in a world that waits for the extraordinary to come about to love and the ordinary rarely gets a chance to show that it can rise to that level. Why do we ignore the fact that ordinary requires just that little bit ‘extra’ to make it rise to the occasion? We sit with a list of what we want in a man/woman to make us love him/her. When truth is we never know what we really want from love till we fall in love. It is then that we realize what more we could and should get and how juvenile was the list to begin with. It then becomes an internal dilemma to accept the person as he is, which is the popularly deemed yardstick for love, or to keep on the search. We generally fall in love with our eyes and fall-out from our mind. Very few people are actually happy in love-as for the rest, they were either too quick to declare love to someone or too late in doing so!

If you say you can’t live without someone, get a rain check there too. Living without someone is easy-living with someone is the difficult part. When you fall in love once, there are chances that it becomes a habit-you can fall again-the body becomes inured to it and on its own finds ways to satisfy its craving. Living with whom you love, is THE test-for then you step down from the hazy clouds to the caked dry surface of reality and remove the shades to face the glare. You can scrunch your eyes or shut them or stare at the dazzle in its face. How long you can take it before you look for shade then measures if it was true love?

True love is often confused with romantic and frantic love. It is believed that if there is no madness, there is no love? If there is complacence there is something missing. So it is sometimes the hardest to derive at the inference of whether it is love or just a very deep-seated infatuation. It always is baffling for the symptoms are almost similar. The craving to be together, the adrenalin rush, the constant meditation of the beloved to the extent of becoming oblivious to it all-how do we know when it really is love?  This is where being in love and loving might come in handy. It is so easy to convince ourselves that we are in love and so difficult to actually love.

Some live to love and some love to live. It is what segregates wanting to sleep with someone hot but not wanting to do so too. It makes you look past all the negativity for that one positive aspect which thrills you no end. Love is such an incomparable feel-good. It is what happens to your mind when your mind should be at someplace else. It is the feeling of fear that grips at the thought of it being lost even before it is found. We love because nothing thrills like love does.

Can love be selfish? Yes and no. There is no such thing as ‘unrequited love being the strongest’. How long can you love someone who is unaware or unconcerned about how you feel? Loving someone is the reassertion of loving ourselves. We love because our love makes US feel good. Would we love where we do not experience the feel-good? So it really is about “me” at the end of the day. But then again-when two people do fall in love, there is no room for selfishness-no games played, no jealousy, no boastfulness, any offense or defence. In the Utopian state, there is no thinking then if you are being used or no devising of ways to play hard to get. Love is simple-you don’t do ANYTHING to hurt the one you are in love with-anything at all, and you know you’ve landed on something pure. Love makes you always ready to accept, to understand, to trust, to justify, to support. That explains why some women stand by their men despite knowing that they have been unfaithful. They know no other way of being than by giving unconditional love-accepting and not expecting is sometimes love’s biggest characteristic.

That also brings us to the very debatable issue of being in love with more than one person at a time. Is it possible or is it just an excuse to sleep around or boost your ego with the possible notion that you are so loveable? We can be in love with multiple people with evenly balanced purity of emotions and intentions. Aren’t we equally loving towards our parents, brothers, set of friends-why segregate romantic love from the domain of feelings? It’s like saying you can feel kindness just for once, compassion just for another and passion just for someone else.

We always look for a love that is forever-but how can something that is born have no end? And forever has anyways become redundant in the present times that we live in-nothing lasts forever and never say never! It is natural to expect something that’s been begun to reach its destination and thereby completion. A line can never become a circle till what you give comes back to you. And why is ‘end’ associated with a ‘dead end’? It can be a cross over to begin something new. Yes, love is like that too-transcending, changing its shades, taking new forms and you must move along with the flow or be beaten upon the crags on shore.  

Love is never easy-nothing that is worthy ever is! It tests before it puts you to rest. For some absence makes the heart grow fonder and for others-out of sight and out of mind. Love requires consistency, otherwise you just might turn around a few years down the line and realise it was just another fascination or fling. You may not hold hands anymore, you may not caress as before, but love is that million dollar look of concern when the loved one trips or a message on the phone that says ‘We don’t kiss much anymore and I know it is my fault.’

Love is a must for at least once in a lifetime. Find it if you feel it might not come searching for you. Experience it, for it might not give you opportunities forever. Treasure it, for nothing is more valuable. Without love, you’d remain vacant from within, lost even when found!

You love so you may live
Or do you live so you may love?
Tossing over a feathery bed,
Yearning for a tender touch!
You see the wonders the world has to offer
But only then close your lids gratified,
When you see passion in some loving eyes!

Why run after riches and fame
Suffering just to see your name
Etched in history as a glorious memory,
When all you need is to be stuck up
In someone’s fond reverie!

Crave not for immortality
Nor desire the world’s adulation
Pray to keep close a heart
That skips its beats on separation!

I want not gods or heavens or things money can buy,
I want not the worldly ties.
I want this fluttering heart of mine
To feel true love before it dies.


Tanvi said...

WOAHH!!! That was quite an in depth analysis of Love. I have never really thought about 'what is love' much ... when I am happy with someone, care for someone, and that person doesn't drive me up the wall - that is enough for me. But I do love some heart broken shayeri ... in fact I am a sucker for it ... don't know what it says about me .. but I am guessing you are right about the meaning of love, as you describe it too! :)

♡ from ©

Amit Gupta said...

I will not say a word about LOVE...please read my blog :D

Me said...

Wow! Suruchi...

This one has to be saved in the "Most Loved posts" folder and read again n again.

What a wonderful analysis of Love and a pragmatic one too...

Should be thanking you for sharing your views on Love here...

Thaaaankoo :D

Thousif Raza said...

i gotta tell you that was the most beautiful way love could ever be put in words... i absolutely loved th poem... soooooooo loved it :)

it is suruchi, it is everything u said... and s worthy things only come after trying really hard... i know what u mean and i feel it... that was a really beautiful post... thank you for writing it :)

take care and keep writing..........

Sakshi said...

Wow, Su, now that was like a huge lecture that you have already prepared for See, when she comes to you and declare her undying love for her prince charming.

You know me Su, I am a die hard romantic. And, I do believe in fairy tale romance. It is just that, my fairy tale romance has a lot of step moms and sisters in the name of time, fate and destiny.

And, you also know that, I have written a lot about love myself. But, somehow, it is hard for me to believe that there are people who are in a relationship because they have to be in one, and that there is no love!

Love is eternal.
It is a part of the beings that we are. The compassion and warmth that we as people give, is because of the love and the loving nature that we have!


Sadiya Merchant said...

oh no. i feel so depressed aftr readin dis :o
ur post is too gud not to ponder or sulk over :D

Sudhir Kekre said...

whats your email id? i want your opinion about something i wrote.

Am In Trance said...

A very LOVEly Post..!

Kitna sahi istemaal karte ho tum apne mastishk ka.. Wah..!
I bow down.....

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night...
To know the pain of too much tenderness...
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.......
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips....

Let Love manifest in all...

You Are The Best...

Rajlakshmi said...

That is beautifully written. Indeed love is more than 3 wrds n even though its blind we believe it completely.

A said...


Thesis subject :)))

Awesome. Last verses are so cool.

- Sugar Cube - said...

WOW! Amazingly described! Loved each and every word in post about love :)

I liked how you covered every aspect of love..
you've put it wonderfully.

This is one of my most fav post on your blog ( Yah I know I've never commented before :P )

"Loving someone is not the same as being in love."
Best line :)

suruchi said...

When we are happy in love, it is blissful and I always wish you stay in that state. And to appreciate heart-broken shayyeri is not bad-just says you are emotional in addition to being so super sexy:-)

Yes sir-please read his blog for there-Love is always new:-)

Thank you so much for appreciating this that much-yes, I was secretly hoping to be crowned some Love Guru-shuro with just realized that in parts;-)
You are welcome anytime ji:-)

suruchi said...

Thank you and that poem was originally a two page composition I wrote to be put up on the blog-but somehow only the last few paragraphs were clicking with me and I used them here:-)

My email id:
Please send me whatever you wanted to fast coz in a couple of days I am leaving for a vacation for a week!:-)

suruchi said...

When See comes to me to declare her undying love for someone...omg, I wonder if the lecture would be like this one!:-)

Believe me, there are people in relationships for lack of choice-such is life. You often do things to please others for pleasing your one self might displease too many souls! I pray that your beliefs though may never be altered by the choices you would have to make!
Thanks for reading:-)

We can love it or hate it-but surely can’t ignore it:-)
Thank you!

suruchi said...

Oye depressed nahi hone ka...and someone like you who spreads soooo many smiles on your blog space-ekdum no room for such stupid words....wait for love and love the wait:-)

Thank you so much...and yes, I could go on n on n on...and thankfully Seeya made me stop:-

suruchi said...

Wow...that was such a beautiful rendition!:-)
I wish and pine for those desires and yes, let’s manifest them all!

Thank you and you are the best-est:-)

@Sugar Cube,
Thank you. Yes, it is a very pleasant surprise to see you here...I never knew you read me...
Hope to see you around!:-)

Droopy Rose said...

Wooooh.I'm speechless! Wonderful post! Loved the "love" post :)

Purba said...

It takes a woman to dissect a complicated emotion so beautifully. Love is a many splendored thing. It brings out the best and the worst in us.

Have you ever wondered why it's so easy to loathe and so difficult to love?

Wonderful write-up Suruchi.

Bikramjit said...

Oh teri.. Madam ji Fatte chak post and so phylosophical .. WOW..

What happened there that brought all this Gyaan out.. dekhna kahin first sight to nahin ho gaya kya .. :) he he he he

Lovely post Now what can i write on this one .. you know it all ..


R-A-J said...

For me, love has been quite expensive :D

Now I'm in between loves.. n I find myself richer, calmer n suddenly with a lot more time in my hands..

I can watch the tv channels I really want to see, I can see Transformers3 fr the fifth time yday n I cn finish all my shoppin in under 5 minutes...

But I soooo damn miss bein in love again...


pRasad said...

3 Wows to this post :)

wow ! wowooo!! wowooo!!!!!! :))))

☆ Rià ღ said...

Loved the post and ur views on true and well written dear!!

SUB said...

LOVEd it...very well makes you feel like you are in wonderland...and i am in wonderland for the last 8 years...and i'm loving it :)

suruchi said...

@Droopy Rose,
Thank you:-)

Thanks a ton-though you gave me a brilliant line:
“Why is it so easy to loathe and so difficult to love?”
Though wish I could write as effortlessly brilliant as you do:-)

I loved the “madam ji”...could almost hear you say it in your super sexy voice;-)
First sight nahi hua yaar:(
This is an effort to bring it on perhaps...karma they would attract like;-)

suruchi said...

Whooo hooo hooo...thank you for them all:-)

Thank you...and you should know, being all drowned in love now:-)

Eight years of marriage and still wondering...matlab in wonderland...waah’s hoping the magic goes on forever:-)
Thank you for reading!

suruchi said...

The state of in-between loves-wow!
Blissful, na? Out of one and expecting another..
And Transformers 3 for the fifth time???????? Phew!
Kahin iske wajah se to last waala break up nahi ho gaya tha?
Just kidding!

Hope you find love again soon...veryy soon!:-)

Nikita said...

Love is being crazy together !! we end up doing crazzy things....

suruchi said...

Sure it is!:-)
The crazier the better!

Prateek said...

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Notion of love is pretty hard to explain. Obviously it isn't something materialistic yet you summed it up beautifully. Once again, once again - Whoa. :P

Jack said...


What is love, told so well. Each aspect looked into and dissected. Nice poem as closing part.

Take care

PS : Read all pending posts on laptop and left comments from Hair Spa onwards.

Rachit said...

love is a wonderful thing, joy in our heart it will bring... a morning prayer:)

Weakest LINK

CreativeMama said...

Quite an intriguing post. Honestly i can't explain love, only can feel and share it!

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rainboy said...

I loved this one S :)

so beautiful ,wish i could express in words...

A few are lucky to have felt it or have it...
maybe someday I'll feel it to :D

take care S

A said...

Seems like a long FULL STOP.....

Raam Pyari said...

thats an in depth analysis! and i loved the poem too!

very well written!

Alka Gurha said...

Is this Goa effect....if it is I wanna go to Goa too!

Love is all that you said and it is also about respect for the person we love. This is one topic where words do not suffice.
Well written as always.

vineet said...

very profound and intense, felt lyk re reading

Shreya said...

So true loving own self is so very important. It is the feel good factor about self that pushes us to do so.
thumbs up dear :)

suruchi said...

Thanks...I know kuch zyaada he “whoa-worthy” ho gaya;-)

@Uncle Jack,
Thank you for always catching up with me:-)

And so love is!:-)

And after such a long post, you know what-neither can I:-)

suruchi said...

You think after most of my posts running to 3 pages, I can possibly write anything in 55 words????????
All the best with your website!:-)

Thank you...though it now reminds me of how you had poetically done something similar and something very beautiful:-)
Amen to love coming your way-just keep the latches away and doors open:-)

Full stop kyon?
Some full stops are actually the beginnings:-)

suruchi said...

@Raam Pyari,
Thank you:-)

This is the pre-Goa excitement effect I guess:-)
So good that you mentioned RESPECT, coz without it the entire relationship takes very less time to crumble down!:-)

Thank you:-)

Thank you and here’s wishing you all the love:-)

rainboy said...

They were opened once and I was robbed. Guess won't be making same mistake .


take care and have a nice day

suruchi said...

We learn from our mistakes and not learn to never try:-)

Jane Doe said...

If being in love is precious, been loved is treasure. Nice post. struck some chords with me. :)

Jen..The Butterfly Effect said...

I totally TOTALLY fell in love with this post and mostly the poem! WOW! Let's talk about love...Happy Valetine's! :)

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