28 May, 2010
My Outlandish Dream!
What is life without an outlandish dream!
Here’s the most materialistic and frenzied one of mine*yaaa...one of those days when I would wish this comes true apart from all the other days when I would shudder n pray that it would not*:
I am the Princess of a big palace of infinite wishes*I can’t do with one unit of anything in life. Yup...I am born this way...so sue me!*
Let me rise from my velvet based n laced, ancient Victorian bed to take you around:
My maid-in-waiting has kept a bowl full of milk soaked rose petals for my feet to dip in, as soon as I decide to get off my feather soft bed! I raise my arms in a sort of angdai like the Hindi film actresses, which exuberates more of nakhra of fragile bones than actual unknotting of the sleepy ones!
Passing the costing-a-bomb ottoman and custom made limited edition oriental upholstery, in an ambience straight out of a chic interior decoration magazine, I move towards my bathing arena that spreads over one floor of my huge house*huge as in I often need a car to be driven around on each floor*.
‘The Bathing Ghats’ is a big, round, colourful pebble-edged pool, dipped in milk again with flower extracts for the whole of me this time.
I throw off my robe and languish in the soft feel while five women watch me in waiting *Err...watching me is not such a good idea. I’ll tell them and you to wait outside and would clap for you when needed! So shoo!*
I then stand under the waterfall of sparkling clean water, created between mounds of man-made mountains and feel all my pores open to life! The other rituals of cleaning my teeth n emitting out last night’s edible treat off my entrails or rather the butt are equally grand, but I would spare you the gory details.
I then go through my walk-in-wardrobe on the next floor, where all the clothes on the line, from Gucci to Channel and DKNY to Burberry, move past me at the behest of a remote control...with accessories matched to precision. Did I tell you about the complete bags range that Louis Vitton made exclusively for me?
I press*the remote of course* to pick out what I like!
Adorned like a million bucks, I step out into the other chambers of my castle.
Okay, the first section*let’s get over with the scandalising bit first* is my very own cute harem. I know it sounds gross, but please, please let me have it...it is only in a dream anyways and it has been my dream like forever! I have here at the press of button...anyone and everyone who would appear before my eyes for my pleasure*visual and other senses inclusive*! There are Hugh Grant, Mathew Maccoughany*whatever is his spelling now*, Ashton Kutcher, Keanu Reeves, Johnny Depp, young Robert Redford and also Ranbir Kapoor, John Abrahim, Abhishek Bachchan, Rahul Gandhi, Zaheer Khan, Roger Frederer, etc, etc...Just to add some variety and thereby spice to my life! Needless to say all of them love me as though their life depended on it!
There is of course another button whereby Enrique Iglesias, Justin Timberlake, Ronan Keating, George Michael, Mohit Chauhan, Atif Aslam and the likes rise and come out to perform*strictly musically...unless specified otherwise by me*!
After my physical pleasures are met...I move on to the physical healing!
I go into my rejuvenating spa cubical which has magical n mysterious connotations!
Here there is one room in which my wrinkles*which would come anyways only after about 15-20 years...or maybe 30-40...acha zyaada ho gaya...20-30 years* are ironed out with my blink...
Another in which I get a *more* sparkling and smooth skin...
A third which would burn all my fat*yes, ALL of it...yiyee yiyee yiyee...look what you make me do The Weirdo Guy* in seconds by merely lying down with eyes closed for five minutes and many more of the likes!
So I become 36-24-36 and emerge!
*Alright...if wishes are coming true then why not imagine 38-22-34 here!
Butt long, cascading soft hair, 5 feet 10 inches height with toned loooooooooooong legs...
Milk white n satin soft skin, almond shaped blue eyes...perfect Angelina Jolie pout...ass to die for n rack to kill for...okay, okay...even in a dream there is a control button...so I would stop at JUST these!*
I then move on to my food section. Here there are exotic delicacies from round the world*do chocolates n chowmein, McDonald’s burger n KFC, get added in the ‘exotic’ list? Don’t bother to answer...they now do!*
About a thousand options*yes, ones which don’t even look like food or could be pronounced by the tongue* can be gulped n savoured n ‘mmmmm-ed’ with zero calories added, no matter how much butter n ghee went in their making*that should make you happy The Bald Guy*
There are rooms where you enter and they serve as a direct link to the place you want to go to within again a blink of an eye*I love that expression...I blink my eyelids innocently and get away often with as wondrous of things*!
Okay, Europe mein backpacking...Thailand mein scuba diving...just a door away!
So if I enter the Switzerland room...no prizes for guessing, I am now in my pure fur*sorry PETA* outfit sliding down the Swiss Alps in my Cheopard sunshades!*living in a material world and I am a material girl...you know it baby*
And then I may have entered the Australian reef beaches...would you care to rub some sun tan lotion on my back?
Another room full of books...a separate room full of music...a floor each for all my relatives on the planet*of course only those whom I can bear*...a personal home-theatre*not a music system with big speakers, like my dad fooled me with, but a proper 70mm screen room*...a floor full of cars that cost a country each...my own helipad *with helicopters naturally...duh-huh?*
A floor for my own designer, chef, beautician, photographer*yup, I’d still be fixated on clicking pictures*
Now, now...the rest I would leave for your imagination!
After all you do have a fair idea by all that’s related so far!
I know this has been the most madcap, preposterous, barmy, ludicrous, bonkers, farcical*okay the thesaurus has run out of synonyms now* ride!
This is my very own wish-cube cum magic box cum timeless zone cum material bliss all rolled into one!
Too bad Mr. Mukesh Ambani stole my idea n luck to realize even a bit of it!
Awwwww....time to get up...wash my not so perfect face...clean my not so luscious body...do up my not so lavish room...love my not so dishy*yet awesome*husband...spend my not so full purse...please my not so flattering little list of fans...
And live my almost perfect, no-complaints life!
After all dream a little dream away!