Amazing people who make me go on n on n on:)

31 July, 2010

I am!

I am...Me!
But what is me, I myself am not sure!

Am I what I have lived for?
My ideas, my principles, my attitude defines me?
My ideas, my principles, my attitude defies me!

I am in grain, as I was created by the master
And in spirit, as formed by the humans!
I am a face, a personality... a life!
I am a daughter, a mother, a wife...
Am I what my relations make me?

I am that which evolves every minute...
I am part this and part that and yet a whole!
I am what I want people to be like!
I am full of me and yet empty!

So what am I?
What makes me an individual and not a face in the crowd?
Does not every face in the crowd think himself to be so?
If we all want to stand out...who would stand within?
We need a crowd to be able to be singled out...
We need others to be able to define ourselves!
Then if I am like others, why do I struggle to be unlike them?

I am...what I think I am!
But do I think fair?
Or am I prejudiced towards me to make me fiercely believe I am right or better or stronger or smarter?
I think I like me too much to point out the faults and then love myself much too for I easily forgive when I err!
I am what was made of me...I am what I make of me!

Am I what others tell or opine about me?
But who can really judge that they mean what they say?
I get convinced in all my egotism of what I feel others perceive of me...
I am what I project to them or what I am in the confines of my privacy when I unmask all the layers and put away all the mirrors?

Am I what I critically dissect myself as?
I am harsh with me for I feel I know me better than all who say they do...
I let them gloat in the surmise that they do!
I let them see what I want them to!
I hide myself sometimes even from me...
And at other times I combat within my frames to let “me” surface and emerge as it should!

I am sometimes noble...free spirited and giving...
I bask in my own light, treading cautiously between vanity and respect!
I am sometimes selfless, yet eventually think high of me for being so and defy it totally!
I am fun and funny...making me think, am I like this or has life made it for me?

I am something and nothing and yet everything to me!
I am the reason for my existence and not love, relations, money or the likes as we believe to be!
I am the only person I can truly make happy and the only person who can truly understand my fears!

I am my best friend and my worst enemy...
I have within me the entire cosmos...
The strength to make me happy...
The will to make me strong...
The desire to make me persevere...
The need to make me reach out...
The elation of a soul reaching its destination...
The desolation of disappointments!

I am honest and naked only with me!
I am and will continue to be!

35 comments:

The Bald Guy said...

Yawn

Ria said...

what a beautiful creation!! :) Loved it.

Jack said...

Suruchi,

A very thought provoking post. Each of us knows ownself best. And what we wish others to see us as we project that. But true happiness comes only if we are same what we know ourselves to be and project the same. Mind you, it is not easy. We also have different roles to play and again it is best to do each role to the best of our ability. Each one of us is different from other and even in crowd we do stand out even when most of our appearances or qualities may be same. There is no need to copy anyone but we should remain what we are.

Take care

Mr Happy said...

are these thoughts originated in seeya's mind and then u wrote them down :P

Tanvi said...

The line that stood out to me! - "If we all want to stand out...who would stand within?"

I love reading such introspective posts. It's like deciphering a secret code.

I know you a little more. Or may be I know 'what you think' a little more :)

Pavitra .... said...

Lovely post dear...
Loved every bit of it!
"If we all want to stand out...who would stand within?"
Wonderful line!
Very well written..
So many roles to play in life...
The key is to just be yourself..
:)

Americanising Desi said...

absolutely marvelous to read you :)

you arent reading me lately so i see :)

Sudeep said...

that's a question which has been troubling human beings for a long long time.. thought provoking. well written.

mohit said...

talk about self analysis... hehe

amazing read, though...

n thanks for the awesomely sweet comment on my last post..u made me smile

happy frndshp day !

Sakshi said...

Beautifully worded... I mean, it is so important to be your own self, and that should define us rather than our relationships that we have bonded...owing to the fact that we are what we are.

This is lovely Su!!!
Hugs.

Prithwish....... said...

magnificent..!!

this is , by far, in my opinion, the best post of urs..beautiful creation with some thought provoking word..

the lines that stand out for me are:
"I am the only person I can truly make happy and the only person who can truly understand my fears!
I am honest and naked with me.."

so true...we are our best friends and worst enemies...

i am planning to share this one with all my friends..its worth it..!

loved it,

cheets!

Mr. "Niraj" Lemon said...

Exceptionally well written...awesome...You know its takes a life time to know that I am me..! wonderfully done...

Hey by the way my blog is turning one on August 8..as ur active reader of my blog...i invite u to write a guest post as per your convenience and time..

Vagabond said...

nice nice NICE!!

btw it reminds me so much of *I AM SHE*

♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ ayu ♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ said...

your post is truly wonderful for it beholds something every person wants in their life.to be who she/he really is ^^

voicefromadistantstar.blogspot.com

Anonymous Someone said...

But who is this I? :P

Interesting,

I am what I am!

Sovina said...

very very powerfully written..totally gives an imaged of a "butterfly"..free and confident..loved reading it :)

have a great week :)

Madhu said...

i am what i am also conveys the same thing no? :P

Hows seeya?
Not seeing u on my page nowdays..:(

buckingfastard said...

firstly, just because ur mom now..doesnt means u hav to write extra mature posts...sometime it bounces over we kids!!

secondly, i can get u can be ur best friend...but how on earth u r ur worst enemy

third, i m pretty sure seeya is doing fine...coz ur absence is visible on ur blog...so its evident who is getting showered in attentions!! :P

Vagabond said...

*nods in agreement with BF*

blunt edges said...

Honest, introspective and totally original! Loved it! Boy its great to be back here :D

Persis Shah said...

this post comes at such a right time for me. being newly married im always debating betweeen my needs and happiness versus that of others..i always end up feeling guilty no matter what i choose! but the way you put it here kind of makes me feel comfy about my choices.

hows motherhood treating you sweetie? you can see me right here http://onestylemile.blogspot.com/p/about_19.html

p.s are you on facebook? would love to add you.

Persis.

suruchi said...

Oye Tbg...on facebook u thumbs up a “like” on the link of this post...n here u yawn over it??????????
*gives up trying to understand u*

@Ria...thanks honey:-)

suruchi said...

@Jack...hello!
What you say is correct..but it is very rare that we are always the same to the core from inside as we seem from outside!
We can only strive to be there!
Society ends up making us politically correct or manipulative to some extent!
And anyways, often it is too much to ask to accept us as we are, in totality:-)


@Mr Happy...
Na re..Seeya is tooo flabbergasted to be around me for now to actually think;-)

suruchi said...

@Tanvi...
It is nice to be introspective once in a while...
If it does not clear our confusions, at least it lessens some amount of it by voicing it out...a sort of acknowledgement of how things exist...

Hmm...maybe you know me...maybe you do not;-)


@Pavitra...
Yup...truth of life...
We all wanna be winners...
No one wants to be even the No.2...
Jo jeeta wohi sikandar syndrome:-)

suruchi said...

@AD...
Thanks babes...
Seeya’s keeping me super busy...which can be seen from the fact that I am replying to these comments ages later when you guys made them...
But I am also trying to roam around the blog lanes every once in a while...n I always try to catch ya;-)


@Sudeep...
Hi...I know...the more we think we know ourselves, the less we actually do:-)


@Mohit...
Awww...happy friendship day to you too...
Does that mean you consider me a friend?
Yiy yiy yiyeee....I am a little kicked for now:-)
And that comment deserved to be there just we deserve to see you around...
So there...point taken, right?
:-)

suruchi said...

@Sakshi....
My cute butter cup....
Trying to be poetically sensible as you are:-)
Hugs ke buckets in return:-)


Hi Prithwish...
Thank you so much...
Such praise for the post has made my day...
I almost thought my readers frown when I go less than humorous...
You re-instate my faith:-)
Big hugs n thanks:-)

suruchi said...

Hey Niraj...
Congratulations on turning one...celebrations n sooooooooo happy for you...
And sooooooooo honoured for being asked to do a guest post...
Abhi struggling to write posts for my own page thanks to be bundle of tasks daughter...
But I promise to soon come up with something worthwhile for your space soon...pucca:-)

Wish u tons of greater success:-)


Hi VB...
“I am she” kya hua but?
:-)

suruchi said...

Hey Ayu...
Thank you gurl:-)
Hope we all find answers to our puzzles:-)


Hi Anonymous Someone...
“I” is the whole beginning n end of our existence!
Wish I could tell you who “I” is actually:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Sovi...
Wow...the imagery of a butterfly adds a new dimension n colour to this...thanks:-)
Glad you liked it!


Hi Mady...
Pata nahi yaar...kya likha...
Kahin kuch sense laga so post kar diya...

Anyways...Seeya is doing good...thanks for asking...
My new post would tell it all:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Bf...
I know...but these extra mature posts are coming by default:-(
I need some romance...flirting...courting n the likes desperately...
Like an SOS situation!
And who could help me in dire straits but thou my dear blogger friend;-)

And of course you can be your own worst enemy...
Most of the times things that make me unhappy are the ones that I have forced upon myself for some unknown god damn reasons!
Anyways...long story!

And Seeya is doing fine...yes a bit showered...but not yet flushed;-)

suruchi said...

VB...
I am trying to be funny yaar...but Seeya ends up making things funnier for me in real life...n hence such posts!
Will be back soon though!
In all my madness:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Blunts...
Wow...praise from you for this!
I am sooooooooo floored n flattered*batting the eyelids coyily:-)*
And it’s equally awesome to have you here...
You were being humungously missed:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Persis,
Wow...if this post helped clear some thoughts for u...
Otherwise I hope you do know I moonlight as Agony Aunt;-)
Hope u never need any of my dumb advice anyways!

Motherhood is so far so good!
Read on my latest post to know more...
N catching you on facebook soon:-)

A said...

That is your best work that I have read so far. Not because it is convetional. Because it is sweet and simple and very meaningful

suruchi said...

HI A,
Thank you so much!
It feels nice to be praised for something that u were unsure about when you wrote it!

I guess, this now becomes worth it:-)

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