And then he asked her,
Did you miss me while I was gone?
And then she looked soulfully at him and said,
“I missed missing you!”
Not satisfied, half dubious and half baffled, he probed for his mad heart given to infinite love even after years of togetherness, suddenly needed a childish reassurance.
He wanted to hide it...
She wanted to hide that she had seen it!
She wanted to pull his leg after he had pulled her to him-the first long stretch of separation had pulled at the chords of their emotions.
He looked questioningly at her, so she smiled, giving up the tease.
And she said, Let me make up for all that I rarely say now...
For all that I feel still and all that you might wanna hear of me always.
I have pined for the feel of your bodily presence just a few inches away, for whether within my reach or not, yet it is so reassuring to know if I stretched my hand out to touch you, you’ll be there.
I nag about getting less time with you but when I don’t get even those few hours of the day with you, I realize how they are enough to keep me going!
24 hours without seeing you or getting embraced in a tight hug and I begin to crumble like the petals of a flower left unsheltered in the sweltering sun!
I don’t mind then, whether you are just engrossed in the newspaper, watching the television more intently than me, forgetting to notice if I had a new haircut or just nodding while I rant about all that went haywire in my newly tried and spoilt lemon cheese cake*which you more than make up by gulping it all down eventually*
For I know when I need you to react, I just need to have a five minutes of silent expression on my face and then you’d be calling me five times from work to ask me if all is okay.
It’s like I am used to of the thought of you being around me...
The dread of you being away never crossed my mind because I think this as unthinkable!
You may not be any Superman despite the red ones that I got you, yet you make me feel armoured, snug like an embryo not wanting to bloom.
I derive pleasure from watching you move around me doing the mundane-whether it is related to me or not!
I watch you when you sleep like a baby*looking so cuddly*, snore when you are over worked*though you refuse to accept it*, talk on your cell phone while watching the walls, sing along the lyrics of songs*which you have no clue of* and dance like nobody’s watching you.
I try to remember your touch that gives me goose bumps and tug at my arms with my own hands to feel that feeling again.
I snuggle at your skin in a long sniff so that the feeling lives with me through the day*how I wish I could bottle up your natural fragrance!*
It makes me smile within when you stare at me while I unconsciously slip back that lock of hair behind my ear, when it playfully falls on my forehead or I bite my lips in thought...
When you put a finger on your chin, watching me puzzled whether to wear the red tunic or the pink one. I ask you to tell me which I should pick and you laugh with a jeering glee, for despite your expert opinion, you know I would pick what ‘I’ like eventually...
I notice with sly delight, how you akimbo right in the middle of the room, trying to rewind in your mind the errand that was just there a split second ago and now you can’t remember it. I scrunch my nose also unseen to you when you frown about it.
I may harass you to keep your things in order, but look forward to picking up the wet towel from the floor or the worn shirt spread across the chair...the primness of the surroundings were tormenting me more!
I cry my guts out when you forget to be romantic or talk less than you did before yet thank my lucky stars constantly that you don’t forget to be ‘you’.
I may say a hesitant ‘yes’ when you ask me for permission for a boys’ only night out but never do you say an insistent ‘no’ even when I act unreasonable.
When you talk and I show that I am listening to you with undivided attention but I am actually constantly distracted by the way your palms and eyes express more than your words....
So even when you are there and not in my arms...I miss you with your presence.
And when you were gone...
I missed missing you!