I want a Gay or Lesbian Friend!

With full respect to the homosexual community, this is not a dig at their preferences!
This is just an expression of a truly felt urge of good intensions!

I have yet to come across a true bloodied gay or lesbian person, to know if things are actually spot on with them as are portrayed on television n in the movies!
Do they make better or worse friends or is there no bloody difference what-so-ever?

The closest I have come across so far is a pseudo or partially lesbian happily married friend, or so I think and please don’t ask me how I know that*that bole to ke she is ‘partially lesbian’ n not the ‘happily married’ bit*
But then she charms the women just as instinctively as she does the men...
So she belongs to another class of experimentation n analysis altogether!

It is apparently not essential that lesbians are manly or aggressive per se!

Nor do the men have female demeanour, voice or being prone to falling all over the men as is the general stance circling about them!
They could be inconspicuously a part of our surroundings...not meaning to segregate them as a category that should not, but then, who knows may be I even have a crush on a couple of them too...so it requires caution to ensure an unbroken heart*as always I am not going to ‘boo-hoo’ here about the prospects of my broken heart with them coz already and anyways there is a plethora of such hearts queuing up in my not-so-little frame...sigh! Sigh!*
 
Of course media as a medium is prone to exaggeration, I mean especially about the mannerisms, but then it would not harm to know by just about how much?

Like the latest cook in my house has hands that are always at an angle of 90 degrees when he is expressing himself*in words that is* and lips that get curled n compressed when he talks and eyes that bat an extra twirl and we all keep wondering about him*not that we have nothing better to do, but then curiosity does spark through, most unintentionally*So when we make him sleep in the servants quarter meant for the men, there does arise a fleeting doubt about his safety or perhaps that of others!

Anyyways...It will be a dream come true to be able to turn a man with preference for men, into one with inclination for women*specifically one* due to the fact that he came across the alluring charms of LITTLE-MISS-ME
*batting my eyelids coyly...yeees, while others dream of becoming doctors, engineers and the likes...even my dreams make me outstanding...standing OUTside the normal human race!*

But seriously, I often fantasize about this scenario*okay now not THAT seriously but then generally*...
My forces of beauty n hypnotic smile n sensuous persona driving a happily gay man into a charmed besotted youth singing Keats’s ‘La Belle Dame Sans Mercy’ in the woods of er...Kanpur dehaat!*

Of course a dear friend then checked n pricked my dream by telling me the following facts:
A. Your one dream actually has two dream sequences:
1. A gay man turning into a heterosexual...which is rarely possible, for such things are some harmonically*blah-blah* activated n once established it is an irreversible process*I slept through the rest of the scientific explanation so Google for details*
2. The fact that YOU madam, have forces of “beauty and hypnotic smile n sensuous persona” is in itself a heightened delusion!

B. Before attempting to turn a man with ‘preference for men’ into an admirer, at least try your hand*with no puns intended* to turn a man with preference for women into one!
Grr...Never mind the poor imagination n lack of foresight of this dumb friend!

Anyways...
Sexual preferences don’t make one extraordinary!
For there will always be rules of nature and wherever there are rules there are also bound to be broken!
And exceptions are somehow often more intriguing!
Like it leaves me pondering as to what goes on in the mind of someone who gets turned on seeing another human body with similar body parts as his own!
Isn’t that a tad boring?
God created the change in gender, perhaps to cater to the ‘variety is the spice of life’ tendency of mankind!
However, mankind as is the case with it often...extended the proverb beyond the frames of possibilities!

Also I mull over how liberating it would be to be able to talk n interact with another dish of a man with absolute lack of my inhibitions or socially raised eyebrows because he is purely not interested in my body*ahem, ahem...hehe...as if the rest of the world is going Lady Ga-Ga over it!*

It is worth weighing, how almost at the edge would be the rendezvous with a female who hugs you on every pretext and sometimes gives that peck on the cheek that gets a bit sidelined or most naively strokes the soft skin of your arms and leaves you always wondering....
Is she...?
Are these...?
Does she...?

Please don’t get me wrong here...it would so make my day to be the object of affection even from someone of my own sex*and phuleezee this is not due to the ‘beggars can’t be choosers syndrome*!
I don’t see why celebrities get all stiff when they are coined as ‘gay icons’ n the likes. It is such a high form of adulation for you turn on absolutely any living being...leaving plants and animals alone thankfully!

Why should someone feel any discomfort at all in the presence of a homosexual friend? It’s not as if they have no sense of restraint or hyper sense of desperation! They surely have lives beyond their bodies n bodily needs!
I mean look at George Michael...Ricky Martin...so simply awesome n yet outside MY reach just becausethey are f@#$ing not interested in women*never mind their celebrity status*

So people...please pray for me to get a gay or lesbian friend soon...or both to be better! Those wondering if I am using my post to secretly hunt for my own female fetish...please read the rest of my pages...
I have yet not completely explored the men-kind to be able to turn my attentions even by 0.09 degrees to other choices available!
The rest of you still undecided about what to think or do or look out for...please don’t strain much...just leave a flattering comment in the section below and serve the humanity by doing your bit of flattery for a poor deprived soul like me!:-)