Amazing people who make me go on n on n on:)

18 August, 2010

I want a Gay or Lesbian Friend!


With full respect to the homosexual community, this is not a dig at their preferences!
This is just an expression of a truly felt urge of good intensions!

I have yet to come across a true bloodied gay or lesbian person, to know if things are actually spot on with them as are portrayed on television n in the movies!
Do they make better or worse friends or is there no bloody difference what-so-ever?

The closest I have come across so far is a pseudo or partially lesbian happily married friend, or so I think and please don’t ask me how I know that*that bole to ke she is ‘partially lesbian’ n not the ‘happily married’ bit*
But then she charms the women just as instinctively as she does the men...
So she belongs to another class of experimentation n analysis altogether!

It is apparently not essential that lesbians are manly or aggressive per se!

Nor do the men have female demeanour, voice or being prone to falling all over the men as is the general stance circling about them!
They could be inconspicuously a part of our surroundings...not meaning to segregate them as a category that should not, but then, who knows may be I even have a crush on a couple of them too...so it requires caution to ensure an unbroken heart*as always I am not going to ‘boo-hoo’ here about the prospects of my broken heart with them coz already and anyways there is a plethora of such hearts queuing up in my not-so-little frame...sigh! Sigh!*
 
Of course media as a medium is prone to exaggeration, I mean especially about the mannerisms, but then it would not harm to know by just about how much?

Like the latest cook in my house has hands that are always at an angle of 90 degrees when he is expressing himself*in words that is* and lips that get curled n compressed when he talks and eyes that bat an extra twirl and we all keep wondering about him*not that we have nothing better to do, but then curiosity does spark through, most unintentionally*So when we make him sleep in the servants quarter meant for the men, there does arise a fleeting doubt about his safety or perhaps that of others!

Anyyways...It will be a dream come true to be able to turn a man with preference for men, into one with inclination for women*specifically one* due to the fact that he came across the alluring charms of LITTLE-MISS-ME
*batting my eyelids coyly...yeees, while others dream of becoming doctors, engineers and the likes...even my dreams make me outstanding...standing OUTside the normal human race!*

But seriously, I often fantasize about this scenario*okay now not THAT seriously but then generally*...
My forces of beauty n hypnotic smile n sensuous persona driving a happily gay man into a charmed besotted youth singing Keats’s ‘La Belle Dame Sans Mercy’ in the woods of er...Kanpur dehaat!*

Of course a dear friend then checked n pricked my dream by telling me the following facts:
A. Your one dream actually has two dream sequences:
1. A gay man turning into a heterosexual...which is rarely possible, for such things are some harmonically*blah-blah* activated n once established it is an irreversible process*I slept through the rest of the scientific explanation so Google for details*
2. The fact that YOU madam, have forces of “beauty and hypnotic smile n sensuous persona” is in itself a heightened delusion!

B. Before attempting to turn a man with ‘preference for men’ into an admirer, at least try your hand*with no puns intended* to turn a man with preference for women into one!
Grr...Never mind the poor imagination n lack of foresight of this dumb friend!

Anyways...
Sexual preferences don’t make one extraordinary!
For there will always be rules of nature and wherever there are rules there are also bound to be broken!
And exceptions are somehow often more intriguing!
Like it leaves me pondering as to what goes on in the mind of someone who gets turned on seeing another human body with similar body parts as his own!
Isn’t that a tad boring?
God created the change in gender, perhaps to cater to the ‘variety is the spice of life’ tendency of mankind!
However, mankind as is the case with it often...extended the proverb beyond the frames of possibilities!

Also I mull over how liberating it would be to be able to talk n interact with another dish of a man with absolute lack of my inhibitions or socially raised eyebrows because he is purely not interested in my body*ahem, ahem...hehe...as if the rest of the world is going Lady Ga-Ga over it!*

It is worth weighing, how almost at the edge would be the rendezvous with a female who hugs you on every pretext and sometimes gives that peck on the cheek that gets a bit sidelined or most naively strokes the soft skin of your arms and leaves you always wondering....
Is she...?
Are these...?
Does she...?

Please don’t get me wrong here...it would so make my day to be the object of affection even from someone of my own sex*and phuleezee this is not due to the ‘beggars can’t be choosers syndrome*!
I don’t see why celebrities get all stiff when they are coined as ‘gay icons’ n the likes. It is such a high form of adulation for you turn on absolutely any living being...leaving plants and animals alone thankfully!

Why should someone feel any discomfort at all in the presence of a homosexual friend? It’s not as if they have no sense of restraint or hyper sense of desperation! They surely have lives beyond their bodies n bodily needs!
I mean look at George Michael...Ricky Martin...so simply awesome n yet outside MY reach just becausethey are f@#$ing not interested in women*never mind their celebrity status*




So people...please pray for me to get a gay or lesbian friend soon...or both to be better! Those wondering if I am using my post to secretly hunt for my own female fetish...please read the rest of my pages...
I have yet not completely explored the men-kind to be able to turn my attentions even by 0.09 degrees to other choices available!
The rest of you still undecided about what to think or do or look out for...please don’t strain much...just leave a flattering comment in the section below and serve the humanity by doing your bit of flattery for a poor deprived soul like me!:-)

57 comments:

Persis Shah said...

i can't be sure if i've any gay/lesbian friends myself...although i do suspect many of my friends to be gays...but if SATC is anything to go by they make for fabulous friends...and hence i totally second your motion Suruchi...I want some gay friends myself!

Ria said...

Lol what a hilarious post!! Suruchi dear u hav got a gr8 sense of humor. Loved the post. :)

AKSHAY SINGH said...

AT YOUR SERVICE MA'AM ....AT YOUR SERVICE ANYTIME:-D

suruchi said...

Hi Persis,
I know..half our beliefs are based on SATC...
If only half our lives were like that too;-)

Wtf...will the gay friends please oblige to two of us beautiful women?:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Ria...
Thanks sweetie!
Well...having great sense of humour is good...having greater friends is better:-)

So thank you again:-)

suruchi said...

Hey Akshay...
Alrite...this was quick!
So let's get to know each other better:-)

rainboy said...

aapke takkar ka koi hai ni nai blogworld mein :P

ek aur zabardast post...
tell me does your hubby reads your blog ?? hehehe

HaRy!! said...

Hey now thats a real daring post!well I'd say the society arnd us is like to mock and riducle nt just the person who claims he is gay but even their frnds... well I'd really like to get to know how they are .. if yu find someone do lemme know! :)

CutePriya said...

That's an interesting post (topic) too Suruchi...i haven't had a gay friend or a lesbian friend as yet but i have come across people (in corporate world) who are Gay...To an extent they are as portrayed in the media (walking like a gurl, maintaining their hair and nails, and talking to men in a very different tone)...And, as told by some colleagues, they are a butt of ridicule for everyone...

Mr. "Niraj" Lemon said...

OMG! No This is called variety is the spic of life...good going exploration is the key to success....exploring new people always make some good changes in us which we lack earlier..just that we need to learn right thing from everybody...wat say...

Thanks for some posting some really good comment it really boasted my confidence and encourage me to write good stuff......keep going....

Tanvi said...

I personally do not have a Gay/Lesbian friend. But I have met people who are and while some of them are friendly other are just non-chalant towards life [just like us] so I guess, there is nothing to go by media. Just becoz someone is gay doesnt mean they have a better dressing sense, or more compassionate. Just just means they might be a 'little' more like females but necessarily not. What I am trying to say is that there is no such rule [in my opinion] they are just like rest of us in all moods and personalities. So NOT how they portray in SACT :P

Sorry Suruchi. I know that's not what you wanted to hear! *Sorry*

pRasad said...

I have posted an ad - Urgent requirement of gay males & lesbian females. Gays please contact suruchi. Lesbians please contact me first..hehe..

pRasad said...

I personally don't like to be with gays for "Obvious" reasons:)..(With due respect to your feelings :D)

I met one gay in Andheri local while coming from college. I was standing holding the handle. suddenly I found someone is giving jerk to the handle. As I looked to the person standing beside me, he asked- "Agale station pe utarata he kya?" ..Damn!..he was waiting for me to get down once the train reached to Kandiwali.. :(
Nowdays, anyhow their number is increasing , so you may not find difficulty finding one. :))

Sakshi said...

LOL! My best friend was in NIFT where almost all men were gay.. but then, I have no idea if they actually are what it is portrayed in the media!

But, I really hope your wish is fulfilled!

Sovina said...

often while seeing movies i wonder how would i react or behave around gays or lesbians..i know for sure that i would definitely find it hilarious and awkward (no offense meant but it is just me)...do share what ur experience was in case u find one or both for urself (which i am sure u will after that post)..btw u surprise me in every post of urs..where do u get all these ideas and from where do you find the balls to put them on the blog..kudos to u sweetheart :)

suruchi said...

Hi Rainboy..
Waah waah...aapne to sharminda he kar diya...
Looks like u are the only one who took my last paragraph about flattering seriously*seekho kuch duniya waalon*
:-)

As regards my hubby reading my blog....
Hehe...tell me, what do u think?
Does he?*grinning mischievously*
;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Hary...
Loooooooong time!
You call this daring?
See that shows you’ve not been around much...hehe:-)

There is no reason why they should be ridiculed though...
It’s not that they are doing something blasphemous...it’s just that they are attuned that way!
Anyways...abhi tak koi aisa mila nahi...
If I do...naturally the experience will be shared!:-)

suruchi said...

Hi CutePriya...
I guess it is a bit sad though instinctive to ridicule a guy acting as a woman or vice versa...
Our senses are so wired to accept things in a certain way that any deviation induces a mockery!
However, if there is a helplessness that leads to such a situation...it is quite unreasonable for us to not empathize with them!

suruchi said...

Hi Niraj,
Learning the right thing is important but knowing what’s wrong is also required and why it is considered so...if it is justified or just another case of sheep blindly following the flock:-)

You are welcome for the comments anytime..you are doing a good job n hence you’ll see me around always:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Tanvi...
What you said is exactly my point...
A gay person need not be any different from any of us!
When I agreed to what is there in SATC...I meant the idea of having a best friend like that...
Who’s with you for u...keeping aside his mannerisms of course n preferably more handsome:-)

And baby...I never have a set notion of what I want to hear...let’s just say I love to hear...anything n everything...
Soo pleeeeeeeeeeeeease don’t say sorry yaar!:-)

suruchi said...

Hi pRasad...
My gawd you are super funny...
Never mind if you are gay or not...
Please be my friend..this would be sooooooo much fun:-)

If the lesbians contact you first....I don’t think they’d remain lesbians to retrn to me later;-)

Awww...and that Andheri local episode...awww....
Okay...got your point...
Magar meine to sirf phrandsheep ke liye gays mange na?:-)

rainboy said...

hehe I got my answer
*smiles ;D

take care

Vintage Obsession said...

There are these 2 incidents which i can never forget
One was at a play after the lights went out this gay couple in the seats right in front of mine started kissing somehow it's grossed me out for the whole year .I still don't know why

Secondly my mum and I were trying to locate out car at this parking lot and this chic was standing at one corner very provocatively dressed initially she started staring at us real hard and after that the she started some tricks of her's which left my poor mum so ghastly , it still makes me laugh so hard

After these 2 incidents i really don't know how i feel

But trust me on this they sure know how to throw a party got invited to this party after a queer festival and i'm so glad i didn't miss it :-)

blunt edges said...

Hahaha...YOU ARE WEIRD!! :P

Oh sorry I had to do flattery na...so here is goes...

Errr...kuch aa nahi raha...sorry :P

Tys on Ice said...

i know the feeling...personally i wish i had some lesbian friends..for , more than the obvious reason, it will allow me to get to know them on a personal level instead of wasting time on trying to get inside their pants.

i dont think i have any gay friends at all..wud it matter if they were gay? hmmm..i guess as long as i dont feel like the object of unwanted attention it will be fine...hey, i think i then will finally understand what a woman goes thru every day of her life...

maybe wht every man need is a gay friend

Madhu said...

U ACTUALLY wrote that! i mean WHOA!!

Why on earth do u want one! I know for a fact that one should experince everything life has to offer,but urs seem twisted. But coming to think of it,it would be fun getting to know lesbians or gays no?

After all they are as normal as we are! They need that attention too!

So tell me,where shall we hunt for them? Online search? And hey dont forget me,if u find a bunch of em..:P :D

Beauty and the BEast said...

LOL!!!! I had a blast reading through this.. cant wait for you to update on 'My first interaction with my homosexual friend' or something like that (am not too creative with titles etc.)

Awesome humor

suruchi said...

Hi Sakshi,
Arre...mere wish nahi hai...actually hain...
Nahi hain...as in really!
Offo...what the heck...hope it gets fulfilled too!
:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Sovi...
Curiosity is my driving force exactly!
Matlab kaise hota hain after all!
Though I would not feel awkward unless the person in question would act silly!

And as n when someone does come along to fit the bill...my dear readers n you would be well informed:-)
Pata nahi where I get the ideas...and where I found the balls...
Ahem, ahem...I guess I borrow them once in a while from my male friends;-)

Thanks for the kudos...big hugs back:-)

suruchi said...

Haha..Rainboy...
Yup..he does not read...
Though I keep telling him what all I am upto...after appropriate filtering of course...anyways...he’s chilled out n knows I am only garajne waale baadal n not barasne waale;-)

suruchi said...

Hi VO...
Haha...the instances u quoted are kinda scary...
I mean having someone as a friend is different...but then seeing them in the “act” can actually be unsettling...
Hell...seeing anyone in the act can be unsettling...
Unless we talk about maybe Brad Pitt n Angelina Jolie...
Offo...digressing...

Anyways...now I have two things on my agenda...
1. Get a gay friend!
2. Attend a party thrown by a gay friend!
:-)

suruchi said...

Oye Blunts!
Matlab mere dhajjian udha de!
Is mein weird kya hain?
:-(
Boo hoo...
My wish list part 2 states:
I want friends who are not anonymous as blog writers so I get to make digs back at them...
Hmphf!:/

suruchi said...

Hi Tys on Ice,
Welcome to my blog:-)
Now your comment got me re-reading it all for firstly wanting to know if you are a man or a woman...
Okay..presuming a man*since u wanted to get into someone’s pants somewhere in that comment*...
And so knowing lesbians for those obvious reasons...ya rite:-)
U seem like so much fun..just the kinds I get along best with;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Mady...
Arre...but I thought this piece was less blasphemous than some of my other ones!
Bluntu thinks I am weird...n now u think I am twisted...
Hey bhagwaaaaaaaaaaaaan...yeh kaise dost n yeh kaise kumbh mela sister!
Hehe...

Though u turned my way eventually in that comment...
So come to my arms dear sissy...
Lets hunts some of them down...
But yehi to problem hain na behna..
Dhoonde to dhoonde kahan?:-/

suruchi said...

Hellowwwwwww Beauty n the BEast!
Never mind the titles...
Intensions should be rite;-)

Am glad u had a blast...though not asking what kinda blast it was;-)
I can’t wait to update with such a post either...
But pehle koi mile to:/

Anyways...see ya around:-)

Scribblers Inc said...

well, I have quite a bunch of friends who have same sex preferences...and me being a guy, it has never come in between our friendship. As to how it feels around them? Maybe it tends to make you feels a little more open around them, knowing tht if you are talkin to a lesbian about a girl, she wont start defending, but rather pay a patient ear.

Scribblers Inc.

P.S.- Nice and colorful! And you are a teacher? I am sure your students arent complaining! :)

suruchi said...

Hi Scribblers Inc...
Seeee...I knew this would make sense:-)
Thanks for dropping by...
Yup I am a teacher...I teach English to school kids...more like a coaching from home...

And yup..they aren't complaining...we all end up having a good time along with studying:-)
Hope to see ya around:-)

K-ay said...

You're absolutely right about the media's exaggeration. If you met my friend, you wouldn't know he's gay, until i told you so. So yaaa, watch out for that little heart of yours :D

xx

mohit said...

ermm..... can't really help you there suruchi...

but cool if you want to have a gay friend...perhaps u've watched too much of 'Will n Grace' :P

actually I'm not averse to the same thing either...as long as they don't hit on me ;)

Bikramjit Singh Mann said...

he he he he he he .. took long to come had some problems of my own. But this one made me laugh.. THe place i work has Two lesbians as (no not with eahc other)
and one Gay man SO YAYYYYYYY i am one step ahead of you ha ha hah got both...

will introduce you to them or them to you so there you go problem solved KYA BOLTE HO he hehehehe

and media in india usually exaggerates, You will not know if a person is gay or otherwise by just looking at them.. its true and all that hype about men having femanity blah blah is all BO____

All the best in finding some :) and i want to read the next article on how you met one and what did you DO ha hahaahah

ok now the flattery .. VERY NICE POST, you wrote beautifully loved reading it blah blah blah I hope you get the hint he hehe

Mads said...

i second your post whole heartedly :D :D :D :D

my friends give me weird looks when i tell them i want a gay friend..
lesbian friend....not really :P

Jack said...

Suruchi,

They neither have horns or tails. They are just like you and me. You know how media works. At times I wonder is media really trying to bring facts out or just play up for the TRP. I have met both gays and lesbians. I found them to be just like any other person as far as work or such aspects go. They have their own preference and as long as they do not make it a public nuisance it should not be condemned.

Take care

suruchi said...

Hello K-ay
I always watch out for my little heart...
Trouble is what I watch out for does not watch back;-)
Hehe

suruchi said...

Hey Mohit,
Thanks for being ‘no help’ n thank god for it
*makes a mental note to keep u intact in the flirt list then*
:-)
N nopes...not Will n Grace effect...
Just a general passing thought...
And gays not hitting o a dish like u...fat chance!
Then they aren’t gay enough;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Bikram...
Der aaye durust aaye:-)
If my post made you laugh...yours made me shudder!
And u can be many steps ahead of me my dear..point is I should be folowing u n I am bloody well going to do that;-)

And introduce me to your couple lesbian friends...
Hmm...wonder what we’ll be then..the awesome threesome;-)
And what will I DO yaar...kabhi auron ko bhi DO karne ka mauka dena chahiye...hain na?;-)

And end waale flattery mein mujhe sarcsam ke bo aa rahe hain...
Okay..shaayad mera nose kharaab hain;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Mads....
Great to have people seconding me!
Yiy yiy yiy...
I now have popular support
So vote for me ...vote for me:-)
And dare anyone give us weird looks;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Jack,
Wow...no horns n no tails...
Hehe...that was very symbolic!
Media is very screwed up..more confused than the masses, really:-)

wise donkey said...

what an nice idea:)
all the best,and you certainly have my prayers:)

buckingfastard said...

trick question: if seeya cries 'i want caramel candies' and suruchi cries 'i want gay or lesbian frnd'...who is the child among dem!! i guess both!!

btw yes i have partially gay frnd...and yes i have partially lesbian frnd...yes they both are bisexual...

and yes i pester my lesbian frnd to tell me her encounters!! and yes i never go out alone with my gay frnd!!

but if u plan to make frnds...just remember...never get drunk with ur gay frnd and always get ur lesbian frnd drunk....well for u its vice versa!!

suruchi said...

What an nice name...Wise Donkey:-)
And what a nice gesture to be giving me your prayers...
Thank you...
Hope to see you around when your prayers come true:-)

suruchi said...

Offo...Bucking,
Kithe the tussi?
MISSSSSSSSSSSSED big time...:-)

Matlab wanting a homosexual friend is akin to wanting candies???????
Waah waah!
And yes...we both are 'the child'
I am the chota baby n she is the bada baby...
Needless to say the chota baby needs more pampering coz the bada baby is getting loads of it from me anyways:-)
uff....zyaada ho gaya!

And WHY don't u go out alone with your gay friend...
Itne body-shody kiss liye banaye hain?
Matlab ek punch dene ka if he comes too strongly...not that give your body-shody to him;-)

And thank you for the pearl of wisdom in the end...
Soon it will form a cute little string that I love to wear!:-)

Choco said...

I have wanted a gay friend too! Don't have any. No fair I tell ya! :|

A said...

I had known one gay person. It was best to stay away from him. Not sure if he was gay or because of his mannerism. I give him benefit of doubt.

Your choice of topic is amazing and your views are honest and bold even if they don't agree with social norms...I like that.

I read your other post too.

suruchi said...

Hi Choco,
Yup...not fair at all...
What say, sue the world?;-)
Hope we both find one before we forcibly turn those around us into our objects of desire;-)

suruchi said...

Hi A,
Thank you for spending time on my pages....
I know what u mean about “those” kind of gays who have weird mannerisms...that would make one uncomfortable...
But then, in general, not everyone’s like that...as is evident from all the comments here!

Honest n bold is the only way to be...
Otherwise the world takes u for a ride...
Learnt that late...but thankfully, better late than never:-)
Hope to see you around:-)

Tamanna A. Shaikh said...

I think it is incorrect to categorize friends into gays/lesbians. I mean, we can probably comment on the materialistic stuff, like their dressing sense and stuff but other than that, they are just humans, so there need not be a difference in the kind of friends they can be.

They can be good or bad, irrespective of their orientation.

I have a friend who I thought was straight but learnt that he is gay. He exposed his orientation only in America. It was a shock initially but today, I don't feel any different when I talk tohim. He's still the same. Nothing changes. He is still a sweetheart.

My point is, I don't 'look forward to' having gay/lesbian friends, just because they are not going to be any different really! :)

Anonymous said...

i m a lesbian and i m no different...we i mean lesbians feel the same like normal people do and i have many lesbian frnds tooo...just cz i m into girls things around me dont change :D
anyways i loved wat u wrote!! KEEP IT UP :)

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