10 January, 2010
Why on earth are men scared of being called Cute?
Girl...err...hot gurl: “Hey you are so cute!”
Boy’s reaction: “Huh? NAHHHHIIIIIIN” (Don’t look up my friend...the roof has not collapsed on his head...neither has his izzat been loot-oed)...Blasphemy of a different kind at work here. A horrified expression follows on the chocolaty face, as though a 440 volts shock was given. He rolls up his sleeves to show his muscles, runs fingers through his hair to show he’s unkempt and rugged, smiles mischievously to prove he can be wild n notorious...anything to remove the cute tag...for according to latest researches (done by me only....but pssst...at least let me sound grim n meaning business here)...cute isn’t sexy for boys anymore!
They’ll accept it with restrained emotions but they secretly pine to hear that they are delicious, appetizing, scrumptious, luscious, delectable, succulent....alright, I am getting carried away again....Suruchi, it is NOT the time for food yet!
Right, right...the modern guy or for that matter...even those in their third or fourth or fifth decade...for boys would always be just boys...want to be hunks. Six packs ho na ho...they want you to refer to them as only and downright sex symbols...mentally stimulating and physically irresistible. Cute almost means non-bed-able or something close or rather not so close or...whatever!
They want your mind to create a picture of them getting down a Harley Davidson with a shiny black leather jacket, long boots, loads of chains, huge sunshades with a cow boy hat, (never mind if they are wearing a helmet over it), etc.
And as they take off that helmet...they sway their heads from side to side (not like Mandakini with wet hair after she bathed in that waterfall) as though repositioning the scrambled hair and walk in slow motion towards you...kat, kat, kat...the sound of their shoes...going like the beating of an excited heart....and you can imagine some hard rock being played in the background for they would die if they were found to be hearing mushy tones! Hey, should we give this guy some stubble and a toothpick in the mouth too? Acha...I guess you get the picture anyways!
Before I begin (yes, I have not actually begun yet) I have to see the dictionary meaning of this...
Cute: 1. Pretty and attractive
2. Sexually attractive...ahem, ahem!
3. Clever, sometimes in an annoying way because the person is trying to get an advantage for him or herself!
N my computer ji’s thesaurus says: attractive, pretty, delightful, charming, appealing, endearing, adorable and sweet.
Now why can’t you bloody demanding species of men be happy with so many positive sounding adjectives?
Why on earth would cute guys just not accept that they are cute...period? Cute, cute, cute...as I say it in an echo and I can almost feel some guys cringing within and wriggling outside, with their palms cupping their ear lobes as though to prevent a jarring, ear-splitting noise from reaching their inner cores. Like I remember Superman’s powers would be sucked in by that blue liquid thingy in that flick...looks like I’ve got a similar eureka-portion with the label of ‘cute’ to deal with the modern super man! “Mere pass na aana dusht-paapi nahi to mein yeh bottle khol ke chidak donge...” Hehe...looks like the new pack to keep in women’s purse instead of red chilli powder! Imagine Ranjeet coming towards you with letchy eyes and wavering fingers and you tell him you are finding that “cute” ....screeeeeeeeeech...halt dead in tracks... kya yaar...Ranjeet ka saara mood kharab kar diya!
I once called a dear friend of mine cute for he would come up with brilliant laughable comments in every repartee I had with him. But the next moment he turned around, with offended gesticulations and said, “Naah, not cute yaar...puppies and doggies are cute and I haven’t even developed that kind of a tail yet!”
Another one of a kind brilliant duo of my dear blogger friends...Rishi and Amn are staunch comrades of Anti-Cute Boys Campaign. On Facebook I saw these guys indulge in some mad banter and termed them “cute”...Rishi preferred to be discovered as rugged, dirty and not bathed from a while instead and Amn protested that it’s almost an insult for a boy to call him THAT for it implies he’s like a brother....LMAO!! How bloody cute is that now!
Wow...that must make at least a 100 ‘so-called’ siblings for me walking about the planet as we speak, for I normally cling to guys who are cute and often end up reinstating that to them till they are bloody convinced. And sadly the cute variety of guys is the kind that you DON’T want as brothers. Cuteness in brothers is such a waste! They are the ones who can actually make you laugh...with them and not at them! So god ji give this syndrome in abundance to normal boys and men treading about on mother earth with whom there can be a possibility of a different connotation!
Okay lemme see who are the guys among the celebrities whom we could term cute: Hey, Shahrukh is cute...sometimes, when he is not pompous or seething with romance. Shahid Kapoor, Ranbir Kapoor (actually he oscillates between being downright sexy more and adorably cute less) and....errr...mmm...why can’t I bloody think of names now? Why in god’s name are the cute ones...at least those who started as cute...converting to mean machines...Aamir, Saif, Akshay and the likes? Oh hell and the only names that are coming to my mind right now for cute then are Govinda, Arshad Warsi, Sharman Joshi, uffffff never mind. Bollywood anyways sucks when it comes to cuteness quotient.
Let’s go Hollywooding...Leonardo de Caprio (actually he’s turned into a hunk too since the Titanic sank and was gone), Hugh Grant, Jude Law and Mathew Mc conaughey- why couldn’t this latter hot dude have a simpler pronounceable n spell able surname (they arouse the sexy senses more that the cuddly ones), Steve Martin, Billy Crystal, Danny de Vito....ALRIGHT I get it...cute guys are like puppies or at least look like one!
So lemme now end on a like you cute poem for lack of any inferences that I had hoped to reach here:
Cutie cutie why do u shy?
A new tag worth a try...
You talk so fine and look divine...
Don’t make us pine...
Sometimes sexy sometimes cute...
Why whine...when we are ready to boot!
P.S. I googled for pictures of “cute men” to upload here for images...guess what it showed me...Puppies! ;-)