Amazing people who make me go on n on n on:)

29 April, 2010

How safe are Internet Friendships?


It’s a fragile world out there...
And even more fragile is our reputation and lives!

This morning a piece of news in the paper quite got me into my thinking mode:
Two girls, aged 18 and 19, belonging to the small town of Mughal Sarai, travelled all the way alone by train, to reach Greater Noida at 6 p.m.
*That’s not the news, by the way!*

They told their parents they had to give a scholarship exam in Delhi!

The truth was they had befriended two boys...rather men over the internet, had several chats and phone conversations, following which they dared coming all the way to a big, unknown city, to meet and stay with their so-thought boyfriends over the weekend!

The two girls were gang raped repeatedly over the night...left physically and emotionally scarred for life!

They were raped not just by these two men in question, but also by two more of their drunken friends, all of whom were waiting for these girls to arrive and tear them apart!

Next morning, meaning to drop them at a bus stop to sneak the girls back home, the culprits were caught, when the victims raised an alarm, noticing a police van!

It made me wonder for a long, long time after reading this short piece:
How safe are net friendships?
Are Facebook, Orkut, Myspace and the whole other plethora of social networking sites, making indecent proposals easier?
Is love the convenient excuse now to get free and hassle-less sex?
Is everyone out here projecting what they really are, or how they want the world to view them?

In this case above...
Of course the boys are to be largely blamed for playing with the innocence and humility of young, dreamy eyed girls...
Misleading these little ones, just out of school, with mush talk and convince them they were their Prince Charming!

But then what about the girls? How much is this their fault?
I questioned and cross questioned my own notions and judgements:
They were just small town kids...easily fooled...love struck n wanting some adventure!

And then again...
18 is not a small age!
You can legally vote or get married at 18!
The constitution seems to think you are old enough to take your decisions but that newspaper seems to project, also stupid enough to not know what awaited you once you reached over to someone’s apartment to live with two random strangers!

And these girls cannot really be termed ignorant or stupid....for they managed to travel so far alone and also dupe their unsuspecting parents, didn’t they?

It’s a bad and dangerous world out there and one wrong step could get a vulnerable soul sinking into a bottomless pit!

People operating with false identities...
People sending all kind of sexed up addendums on these sites...
People indulging in mindless double meaning talk on their status or inboxes...
How much is really too much?
When should we be alarmed that someone’s crossing the line on the pretext of just having fun and when should we ignore thinking that’s the way the modern world works?

Is it very difficult to trust anyone who wants things/information to remain hidden about him.
No real name on the account!
Maybe even fake pictures!
Not ready to openly communicate!
Why?
When you don’t have the guts to show your real self to the world...stay hidden...we don’t really wanna see you either!
A few bad fish spoil the whole pond!

We jeopardise the chance of forging genuinely nice friendships because generally not so nice people use the medium for cheap thrills!
The gift of the gab hides their evil countenance and murkier intentions!



Personally speaking, I have met and made great friends for life through the internet!
Friends who make everyday happier n brighter by their mere but constant virtual presence!
But I also would like to quote here a not so good experience I had, with the hope that it might help someone somewhere get more cautious!

I added a girl-Shupriya on to my Facebook friend’s list after I interacted with her a couple of times on a common girl-friend’s status!
She seemed nice and sweet and very appreciative of me!
She often commented on my status and sometimes sent me random messages to come online and chat!
I avoided for a long time having no inclination or time for it...but then not to sound arrogant and pompous, I gave in after a while and we chatted a couple of times!

She had put up some 80 pictures of hers and said she lived in the States!
She wore tiny clothes and well displayed her assets!
She also liked to talk about them, her boyfriends and gradually asked me about my life with my husband and how I seemed to keep him so happy?

In all my dumb magnanimity and feeling poor-lost-helpless-girl, I told her a few random bits. She also more than unabashedly praised my looks and body!
I felt uncomfortable and avoided her thinking she was a lesbian!

She soon added more of my girlfriends onto her list! I always felt a twinge of unease about this but refrained from doing anything thinking I was probably over reacting and also that if I’d ignore, she’d remain normal.

Then one day, I got a message from one of my school friends that madam Shupriya was having pictures of some other girl on her account named Divya- a resident of Bangalore and known to her common friend.

My friend asked how I knew Shupriya, what all I know of her and what should we do now! I realized then that I knew nothing except what she told me!

Before the shock could register in, another message came from her, within seconds that the Facebook profile in the name of Shupriya Sirkaar had been deleted. Somehow Shupriya had got to know that her game was out n disappeared without a trace! After that all the other girls whom she had befriended on my list were suitably warned by me. Now they all came up with retorts like ‘yes, she was kinda weird and kinky’!
In all probability Shupriya Sirkar was a man!

She had easy access to our lives, pictures, friends and family and everything else that we put up on those social networking sites!

Such is the risk that we put ourselves to!
Such are the risks we must be aware of before jumping onto the bandwagon of creating more and more friendships with random strangers!

It is called the world wide web...and perhaps for a good reason!

66 comments:

Ambika said...

Your post reminded me about someone who i befriended on Orkut. I was new to social networking and she appeared to be genuine. I did share a lot of info with her about myself. Those days, I was looking to switch companies and had forwarded my resumes to many companies. It was a real shock for me when my resumes started to get rejected everywhere. That "bitch" got a hold of my passwords & hacked into the account. She was eying some guy on Orkut and had passed comments to a friend of his. Even wrote to him. She had also modified my resumes that resulted to rejection everywhere.

I was totally embarrased. It took me two years to get the confidence to go back to the guy and tell him it wasn't me who wrote to him. Ofcourse, now the only mantra i follow is "no phrrandship with strangers, no way."

Rishi said...

hmmm... i'll put a reply post to this..

(see i dropped by twice on the same day..

Chamatkaaar)

http://theparanormalguy.blogspot.com/

Lincoln said...

oh , this is scary....
PPl who have multiple profiles/identities over net indulge in such kind of things..

And it makes genuine ppl think 100 times before sending an online friend request for they dont know what lies ahead....

And regarding the story , I think those girls must be having an idea what they were going for or what might happen but they didn't expected that it will be so brutal...

♥ Chocolate Lover ♥ said...

That's why I hate all the social sites!! It sucks!! T___T

thinking to delete my account T___T

Nads said...

I had heard of this case but not details like how they met and all and now that I know am really suprised at how stupid girls can be and how disgusting men can be. I hope 'those' men get what they deserve. And the Supriya case..never been through anything like that but some random girl added photos of one of my friend and pretended to be her. We had to report her to get her out of fb. Scary this world I tell u. Btw u've been tagged.

Vagabond said...

agreed. it is a bad bad world out there. i have been quite lucky though. i met and made friends on the net with two awesome people, who i spent quality time with in real life too.

i was saved any trouble partly because i have a good head which always reads between the lines (=P), or partly because the cynic me takes a lo(ooooooo)t of time to actually trust people and mostly because i had a handsome dollop of luck.

i think what one actually needs to see is that one does not divulge too much information, personal professional or the likewise in chatrooms (which one must always avoid). orkut, myspace, facebook should be to re-connect, connect maybe but then one always gets an idea who is fake and who is not.

statutory warning: "You've Got Mail" has a 99% probability of not happening in your life.

you had a spat of bad luck.
btw nice post as usual. =)

Hopeless Romantic said...

A pretty relevant post, though this is something which i have understood a long time back and have strong views for and against (as always!) :P

For starters, I think internet is a great way to make friends and more importantly, friends with a lot common. You can share stuff, knowledge and learn so much about life in general. I consider my online friends as close to my real friends and I guess I am a lucky person in a way that I have met quite a few in person too and have found them to be really good friends.

I met my first net friend (no need to say a girl :D) when I was 19, way back in 2002 (ya, I am that old!). Even though it was a good experience in meeting him, all I had a contact with her was an e-mail id and a cell num, which she deleted after a while and email revoked. Thankfully, I never had any bad experiences in meeting the opposite sex, though there have been a few funny ones. Point is, you just need to be careful about such stuff, take things slowly, build the friendship and take things from there on.

This is one reason why I have never fancied anonymous bloggers ever in life. No offense to everyone, they might be awesome personalities and leading a great life, but I feel if a person can hide what she/he actually is, cheating on you is really a very easy way out. There is always a line between being friendly and being stupid. I have so much experience with online relationships, I can probably write another book on it. Online relationships can be futile, infertile and extremely flippant at times. Keep your eyes open, it just makes it easy to differentiate between the right and the wrong.

Long comment as always, but i have lot to stay..may be some other time on my blog.

Love,
Amit

Cinderella said...

Just last night when I put up an update with someone, my brother told me it is important to internet etiquette, and slandering someone is not a way to have fun. he also told me that today social networking sites have so much seeped in into our systems that they have become a medium to know how someone is. And I dont want to be perceived as someone I am not. I realized my fault and deleted the update.

And like some sorta sign I get an email forward from a fren on similar lines. Will forward it to you. We need to very very very careful about what info we have providing...how much of ourselves is on display, and how much of our profile we would like even our friends to have access to.

Its important. You never know when someone will use it against and you wont even realize it.

As per the girl. I say serves her well. I mean only someone a dumb can fall like that. Coming from a small town is a pathetic excuse of sorts. We knew how to protects ourselves and not to talk to strangers right from the very beginning.

Listen to your moms girls, they play a very vital part in honing your feminine instincts and prepare you to face the world. Be frank with them. I thank my mom everyday for that.

A very thought provoking post hon. And something everyone should read. I'm gonna link this on my FB. I hope you wont mind.

hugs!

:*

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Weirdo guy said...

Well i avoid all this jhanjhat by cancelling all strangers' requests !!

Besides once you have spent a lot of time on orkut you easily get to know about who are the fakers and who are the true people...it's full of retards,perverts and general morons.

Lets hope they dont discover FB

Sakshi said...

It is again a very debatable topic *wondering, how do you come up with such great debating topics, were you head debating?*

Coming back to your post,
I think, that, this is not only the case with www per se. Even in real life, we befriend strangers all the time. How good or bad they are, comes much later.
Ironically for me,
I have made some great friends online. So good, that I have met them in the real world. Duhu, my own love story is Hi5 ed. *touchwood, that my prince charming was my own for good*
On the other hand, I have hardly any great friends that I have made in the real world. Somehow, I have always come across people who are judging me all the time, even while extending their friendship to me, and I can't be a friend, when I am under the scanner all the time.

Coming back to the incident in the newspaper, its not an isolated incident at all. There were many that have been reported earlier. And, authorities also have no idea what to really do about it. One thing that one has to do, is to be very sensible. Extremely cautious.
I met my bf, for the first at a Railway Station.

Otherwise-
No idea.

buckingfastard said...

ahh...u finally caught me....i m also a faker!! i portray dat a 20 yr old horny lill bastard...who is damn too tired enuf to update his blog...and is pretty much pissed wid life...

ohh wait!!i m not faking dat...its wat i actually am!!

point is in dis sick and boring life of ours...maybe we want to take risk...maybe we want to try and try our luck wid dose creepy middle age sexopaths until we find our 1% chance of "You've got mail" syndrome as Vagabond said!!

i hav seen my real female frnds who crib to wear nythig else dan salwar suit...post pics in profile in skirts...

common admit all women want to hav dere miss india moment!! and dis shady mentally sick guys dere giv we overwhelming comments just to make it true for u!!

menkah!! said...

i made a fake pro to trouble my crush once :P

Niraj said...

World...has really become a lousy place...

suruchi said...

Hi Ambika..
Whao...what you have mentioned here is equally scary and as big n serious in proportions as any such risks...
Yesssssssssss....no phrrandships for sure...
Hehe...
That reminds me of some of the great phrandhsip proposing lines...
Can you make firendship with me?
Can u get my freendship?
Will you become my friendship?

Hey bhagwaaan...
But worst is those wise guys who know how to talk and talk well...
They are actually the ones to beware of:-)
Thanks Ambika...for adding to the information of possible threats:-)

suruchi said...

Hello Rishi...
I know...CHAMATKAAR CHAMATKAAR...
Mere aankhein chaundhiya gaye aapke dobara darshan pe...

Thanks for the super awesome reply to my post with a post on your post...
It’s a great guide for technically dumb nuts like me...
Guys...a must see!

http://theparanormalguy.blogspot.com/

suruchi said...

Hi Lincoln...
Why have multiple profiles but?
Why feel ashamed to show the world what you can really be?

Yup...those girls were looking for a dip of loads of love n a little bit of lust...
They got drowned just in the irreversible sea of latter:-(

suruchi said...

Hi Choco...
Not everyone’s like that...
Not all friendships formed here are meaningless...

I have made friends with so many bloggers here on Facebook...
Kalakriti, Cinderella, Vagabond, Hopeless Romantic, Crooked Smile, Weirdo Guy, Nicole, Sulgana, Amn, Biswa, Cathy, Sakshi, Tbg...and so many more...
And then you too:-)

These are all friends I cherish n thank god for Facebook for bringing us all to each other...
The medium itself is not bad...it’s usage is:-)

suruchi said...

Hellooooooooo Nico...
I too would not thrash down the girls completely for I think they came there with dreams of love...

But then every girl has a sense of intuition of the kinda people to avoid n whom she should suspect...
Often we tend to shut up that voice....
But if we train ourselves to hear it properly...it never fails to guide us right

We should all listen to our inner voice:-)
And yup...these guys who molest helpless women to satisfy their libidos leave me fuming...
The less I say about this the better!

Btw...how are the holidays going on...I would be in mumbai around 13th of May..let's meet if we can:-)

sobhit said...

not bad some cyber awreness program u starting here :P.. gud gud.. on a serious note tho,, yes its jst not a safe world out der.. virtual world is never 2b trusted on.. adding random ppl is 1 major risk... seems u tk dis risk a lot.. ;p ohh wait u tuk d same in my case.. thnx :) ... now i can say i ASSURE u mine is not a fake profile.. but u shudnt trust statmnts like dat dat .. trust me on dat:P.. shupriya... LOL hahahahahha ezcuse me on finding humour in d evnts ,, but dey r... come on woman u seem 2b a intellgnt sensble enuf a lady.. how can u not "spot d not" ...

its sad wot hapnd wid d girls who came 2 noida.. but den again somthing wrong wid dem 2 4 blvin things like des.. who in 2days world wud travel 4 sm fake net frndship?? dat 2 aftr repeated news of such incidnces... indeed it is sad...

damn dos sick bastards n god help such dumb females...

den again i personally blv its not abt virtual or real world .. by d end of d day al dat mattrs is d persons psyche.. sick freaks cant b helpd n innocnce needs 2 b handld more precautiously.. hmmm not d best made statemnts but gues jst tumbling tohts here :P

n hahaha OMG u actually had chats of ur luv lives??? ROFL.. so notty u had fun chatting STUFF wid ur net buddy :P ;p... lol .. hw can u not understnd it ws a fake profile den.. wid all d skimpy pic n such chats... kya yar... itni toh samhjdar lagti ho aap ;p.. but den again abb bhi maze le ke baat kar rahi hogi mybe :P .... :O

PS sab bure log ni milte yar.. kuch shayad ache bhi ho :P... i blv u sure hv d eye 2 knw whose who.. tho afr d shupriya thing.. am wondering abt it ;p... d skimpy pic f shupriya dat is :P :P.. kya yar ab delete kar di usne profile... hahahahhahahahahaaha
excuse me on finding humour in ur serious post.. keep posting

RepublicOfChic said...

This is my worst nightmare! Esp with a style blog, it's so scary to put up pics of ourselves which we mostly refrain from doing. I've grown very cautious of girls adding me on FB too. A girl can never be too careful!

suruchi said...

Hi VB...
So glad to know you’ve found great friends...
I have found not just 2-3, but like a score of awesome people here...
But cases like the kinds I mentioned make it very difficult for me to explain to those around n not so frequent on the internet about how great a medium it can be!

Keep that good head working full time n don’t u let that cynic rest either:-)

I loved your take on “You’ve got mail” obsession or syndrome...
That’s why I kinda justified those two girls for taking such a bold step...
The kiddos must have been hopelessly in love...or so they thought or were made to believe...
No one likes to walk into trouble either....
So without all the facts...we can only presume...
And with all facts of such risks at hand...we must not assume things easy any further:-)

Thanks for sharing your views:-)

suruchi said...

Hey Amit...
I love the fact that you always have something to say for and against me...err...my post that is!
For all your mush n equal dose of sexy passion that you serve on your blog...I somehow connect well with you and minus even a tiny weeny bit of doubt*maybe coz u called me “di” at the very onset:-(*

So when u heard it was my anniversary and wanted to call me up....I took not a second extra to give you my number*I refrain doing that with practically everyone and I can count on one hand the number of times I have done this*

I do thank Facebook n Blogspot for you and many others like you...who are a complete pleasure to interact with!
I guess every one of us needs to use our own judgement n common sense...

About anonymous bloggers...all can’t be slotted in the same negative category...some people would want to express themselves freely without having the need to give clarifications or justifications to anyone later...
So be it!
Good for them!

As long as one does not misuse the medium, let them use the medium!

But making friends with false identities is what annoys me!
It defies the very purpose and cannot be justified!

P.S. I so wanna know the “funny ones” waale experiences na...please blog on it soon:-)

suruchi said...

Wow Cin...
U always come here to comment and end up leaving me with a thought:-)
Your brother is a super wise guy...
First he ignores “big” things;-)
N now he gives a super duper advice...

I loved the take on how the sites have become a medium to know someone n how we should refrain hence from updating things that we do not want to be perceived for!

Send me that email...I look forward to anything you have to say anyways!

Yup...girls...listen to Cinderella n me...
Who else but Cinderella to guide u to the Prince Charming actually...and who else but know-it-all-me to tell u how to keep him!
But till then keep your senses awakened instead of the rest of the body!

Thanks for sharing it on Fb...
N u think I’d mind that??????????????????
I am so flattered...
N smiley:-)
Hugsssssssss....

P.S. Cin by the way is another one of my perfect finds through the net...
Thank you internet for her:-)

suruchi said...

N lotus Boulevard...
Thank u...
I guess since you liked it so much...
How about giving me a flat in that next project?;-)

suruchi said...

Hiyya Weirdo,
You do absolutely the best thing by cancelling strangers request...
With your good looks u never know...
And while you are at it...avoid strange men too!
Again...coz u never know!;-)

Yup...let’s hope Fb remains safe...
Hey bhagwaan...mere Facebook ke raksha karna...lolzzzzzzz:-)
Chalo ab jaake padho...next week exam hain! Yeh bhagwan ke liye nahi Archie...aapke liye tha;-)

blunt edges said...

"When you don’t have the guts to show your real self to the world...stay hidden...we don’t really wanna see you either!"
is that an indirect way of telling me 2 reveal my name? ;)

nice 2 see a thoughtful post here...now don't jump the gun n say stuff like aren't the other posts thoughtful...u of course know what i meant :D

Niraj said...

Hey came out with matrix of life at my blog...do leave a comment

Vintage Obsession said...

Things like these surprise me as well !! for a fact that the claims of these poachers are not verifiable ,it gives them the freedom , but i dont know why this simple plain logic of the virtual world being different from the real world make any sense to these girls.

Jack said...

Suruchi,

World is full of crooks not only on net but in other spheres too. I pity these girls who did not confide someone more experienced before venturing out to meet strangers befriended on internet. One has to take precautions for own safety. If any net-friend gets too inquisitive, it is time to put your antennae out for fraud. And it is advisable to meet any net friend only at public place with someone accompanying you.

Take care

Shayon said...

This comment is solely meant to subscribe to the comments.

Shayon said...

Ahem, I am not sure if I am allowed to comment since I met my own girlfriend of a couple of years via a social networking site. As a matter of fact, thanks to Bloggers' and Twitter meets, I end up socialising with a lot of 'strangers', and a few of them have even become very close friends of mine.

But yes, I must admit, as far as a one-to-one interaction is concerned, my girlfriend was the first, and the last one, I met, without any common connection in between to get us introduced. Chat rooms...nah, they were never really my thing. But then again, this post is not about me, at all.

While the Internet medium makes it easy to falsify your identity, it can not really be blamed for all the unfortunate happenings, like this one. Like every medium, it has its goods and bads. For example, the television, while you can watch cartoons and Discovery on it, you also have the Indian soaps and porn to skew your mind. The bottom line is to have a brain that's developed enough to be able to distinguish between the good and the bad. Even if not so, at least the sense to take precautionary measures, as and when necessary.

Just because someone was dumb enough not to realize the inevitable and stand in the middle of a railway line, how many of us can really blame the train to blast him away into pieces?

suruchi said...

Hi Sakshi,
Somehow I can never help but second whatever you say!

I have made great buddies through the net too...n some people are such that I can bear my heart out to them without an iota of doubt or hesitation!
I too find that a difficult task to do with friends around or living within the vicinity for I feel I arm them with gossip to malign my sentiments!

I am so glad that you found your Prince Charming and hopeful that you live happily ever after. You are a sensible n mature girl and for sure would always make wise decisions:-)

However, we do meet strangers on real life too like you said.
But the internet gives a kinda facade to individuals to hide behind.
You can many-a-times judge a person by how he behaves in your presence...it is not so easy to judge words appearing on the computer screen that may or may not have been pre-thought to deceive!
Hence the risk factor doubles!

I also agree that whenever we do get to meet in a net friendship scenario..it must be in a public place, at least the first few times, till you get a better idea of exactly what you are walking into.

Thanks Sakshi...hopefully this would help someone:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Bf...
Despite all your garbs of anonymity...you are not and cannot be classified as a faker...
But you are only 20....DAAAAAAAAAAMN! :-(
Why is the best of the crop getting younger day by day?
Why? Why? Why? *okay I know the answer...I am getting older instead:-( kindly don’t rub that in:-)*

I have nothing against anonymous bloggers....everyone has their reasons. And the quality of writing from such desks vouch for the brilliant mind that they are coming from...But I shall continue to pester you and BLUNT EDGES for your names so at least someday I can know the real you and be good friends with mind blowing bloggers!:-)
And so pleeeeeeeeeeeease, cut that crap!
I am still a big fan of you and shall remain:-)!

Of course we all want to take risks...get a little adventurous once in a while...bt we must also know where to draw the line...sounds cliché but that’s the whole truth!
All women don’t want any Miss India moments...
We don’t want a crowd getting up to applaud for us within or outside the confines...
Okay we may be stuck up on that “You’ve got mail” syndrome...
But we also have oodles of gut feelings and common sense...some may lack in awareness and self control....

Wait, wait....what am I trying to defend or argue against here...I have no clue...I have no idea either whether you wanted me to argue or defend:-)

Thanks for reading my posts Bf...
Still in waiting to know more of you...

P.S. 1. Please write more aur agar tired ho to take some Becosule capsules or Sinkaara types tonic

P.S. 2. Please don’t be pissed with life...life is screwing up everyone...some a little harder than the others...tell yourself that that’s because you are a little hotter than the others;-) and this too shall pass:-)

P.S. 3. Still in waiting to know more of you:-)*yup, I am leach like...I don’t give up easy;-)*

suruchi said...

@Menkah...hahaha...that’s okay yaar...
In fact that’s so cute!
But then you just troubled him?????????
Seduce-veduce try nahi kiya? Lolzzzzzzzz
And did the crush get crushed after that or got bloomed?
Wow, your one sentence brought so many questions from me...:-)

Blog about it n let us know:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Niraj...
No, not really...
It still has big patches of nice, happy, sweet lives and moments...
We just need to be careful that we are on that side of it:-)

suruchi said...

Hello Sobhit,
I don’t add random people...
In fact when I began on the net about 1 n half years back...
I never used to add people to my friend list without exchanging messages in the inbox to the extent of some 50-60...
Slowly the exchange figure came down to 25-30 and if I liked the person and if he/she was sweet decent enough...

In between I relaxed the rule n added friends of friends if I happened to get into a conversation with them over someone’s status!
Then too it was only females....
I befriended bloggers whose thought process I liked
I also added some blog followers...three to be precise*including you* who interact well enough with me on the comments here...

That Shupriya thing...she was good at all the nonsense she created...difficult to spot...
N btw I would not tell her about my love life...but about how to keep husbands happy...like frequent calling, keeping cupboards upto the mark n blah blah that I ANYWAYS write on my post...
So chill...there’s no hot gossip that happened...
I was just pissed that she misused my trust...that’s it!

Post then...I gave up on chatting altogether...
Not really interested in going through that very long process of getting to know random people...or try to be agony aunt to those who may not deserve it...I try to manage my little menagerie of friends now:-)

You have been a consistent follower Sobhit and always a thorough gentleman although I can sense a whole lot of mischief n fun you could be upto in actual life...so hence added you and keeping you:-)

P.S. And stop finding cheap thrills out of my misery....lolzzzzzzzz:-)

suruchi said...

Hi ROC...
You are absolutely right...
With pictures it gets a lot more risky...
Try to lock pictures through some settings or disable people from copying them easily....

Although...don’t worry too much either...
We can just be careful n not cocooned...
Rest is our destiny:-)
I believe good things happen to smart people...
Amen!

Cinderella said...

Hahaha....thats was one helluva comment! YOu surpassed mine with flying colors babe, and I aint J at all!!!!

Yes, my bro seems to be sensible when he is not chewing my brains! :I

Ditto for the net find thingie hon. Sometimes the godforsaken internet does make you feel you're blessed!

HUGS!!!

sulagna ™ said...

scary su...

sulagna ™ said...

hii suruchi, can i also do fransheep wid u..u lookin hot and bold..

Nipun said...

That incident with the girls was horrible. I hate it when people say that they kinda had it coming, and that if you are that stupid and dumb you kinda deserve it. That's just a load of crap. Would you say the same thing if, god forbid, something like that happens to someone you know? Would you say then, "Ya, it's pretty bad, but then, she had it coming."?

Yes, the girls probably were stupid to not know what lay ahead. Maybe, they had a fair idea of what's gonna happen... but then, that doesn't give those two sick mofos and their equally wretched-minded friends the right to do what they did. So, I totally don't buy the argument that it serves the girls well because of their stupidity.

Coming to the post, the WWW has millions of places one should visit. Social networking is one of its most popular product. The idea behind social networking is nice, but then, you should exercise caution. Is it worthwhile to face all the problems and annoyances that come with the "package"?. For me, the answer is definitely in the affirmative. To be in control, you just need to know where the pitfalls are, and just remember the two Cs - CAUTION and COMMON SENSE.

Take care, Chips! :)

suruchi said...

Hi Blunts...
No it is not an indirect way of asking your name...
When I can do it directly, then why should I take the longer route?
TUMHARA NAAM KYA HAIN, BLUNT EDGES? Lolzzzzzzzz
*the indirect way was when I hit at your cute little ‘manly’ ego by saying Blunt Edges is a girly name...hehe...evil hoon na...I know!;-)*

N yup, I do get thoughtful sometimes when there is a full moon*beware, beware;-)*
Not jumping any guns...of course I know what u mean:-)
Thanksssssssss:-)

P.S. Tumhara naam kya hain Basanti...oops...Blunt Edges?;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Smrithi...
Actually quite true...
The virtual world n the real world are pretty much the same...
And the same rules apply...
Just coz someone’s a 1000 miles away, does not mean he can’t hurt you!
A very valid point there VO:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Jack...
Sadly not everyone has sensible people to confide into before taking most of the big decisions that they must!
Especially youngsters these days, I find them to be very lost!
They may have scores of friends that they hang out with...
But not even a handful to whom they can bear their soul or seek advice.

Such people in fact fall prey easily to the first signs of empathy shown to them...they lack self confidence or the security of being surrounded by people who value or love them...n hence get trapped by those who pretend to!

I also said the same thing that net friends, if to be met at all...must be met at public places and always cautiously for the first few times till one is absolutely certain about them!

Thank you...you take care too:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Shayon...
So cute...
If this post is not about you...koi na...
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease tell me the love story n I promise to write about it...or promise not to of you don’t want me to* I am such a sucker for real life romances...and couple of years....awwww....:-)*

I advocate net friendships too...when done with caution n even after doing so, remaining alert...:-)
I do not blame the net at all...as I said in one of my comments above...
It’s just a tool...depending on the human mind that is governing it...
The mind may be mature or immature...
Sensible or crass...
We need to judge that!

I fully agree with what you say
N wish you and your cutie pie*I am assuming she’d cute...could be hot too...but my vote somehow goes with cute instead* a lifetime of togetherness and joy:-)

suruchi said...

Hey Cin...
I know you’d never be J...
You are too classy n too sensible for that:-)
And those sensible genes run in the family...u just proved that:-)
Hugsssssssssssss again:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Su...
I know...the news of those girls had me troubled for two days, till I decided to vent it out in a post...
I stopped reading the newspaper due to disturbing pieces of news like these...child molestation n all...it gets to my nerves!

Nways...yup Sulagna...I am ready to get into pharandsheep...which sheep are you getting into? ;-)

Shayon said...

@Suruchi
"They may have scores of friends that they hang out with...
But not even a handful to whom they can bear their soul or seek advice.
Such people in fact fall prey easily to the first signs of empathy shown to them...they lack self confidence or the security of being surrounded by people who value or love them...n hence get trapped by those who pretend to!"


These words, in your reply to Uncle J, struck a very familiar chord within me.

As for my "love story", I had once written it down, on the very forums where we met. However, after all these years, the damn website has deleted that post.

Anyway, doncha worry. These days, there's a brand new 'love story' in the making. Shall fill you up with it, some time. ;-)

And well, if your emotions are true, then I am surprised to find it so hard for you to sum up two 2's together :-p
*yes, that statement was made cryptic for a purpose*

Madhu said...

Its all about trusting the right person..or shud i just say..being lucky??

Ria said...

A very relevant post in today's world. Its about being cautious and not getting too close to anyone jus bcoz u hav had a couple of chats with that person. U never know what might happen next. Thankfully i havent come across anyone fake on the internet. In fact i hav made some really good friends. :)

suruchi said...

Hi Nips...
That is the reason why my heart n mind stood divided on the issue...
A part of me went out to the girls for they must have just been ignorant love struck ones...
Blinded by love n hence forgetful of reasoning...

On the other hand I also wanted to reproach them for walking right into the lion’s den...
Of course like you mentioned...what the guys did is unforgivable!
But we can’t do much about such dirty elements na...they are hard to spot...though we can n we should alert our girls...:-)

Thank you for the two C’s...:-)
Almost an echo of my sentiments exactly...like always;-)
You take care too Nips:-)

suruchi said...

Hi again Shayon...
That’s actually true in bits and parts with all of us!
Why blame them alone...me too would have a similar story to relate of having scores of friends but not the kinds that I would like to tell about what racks my brain half the bloody time!
Such is life n such is the need for random friends, who would stand apart and just share...not judge...not paint the town red with your gossip...just be there :)

Oye hue...the damn websites can even delete posts??????????
Wtf!!!!!!!!!!!

And brand new love story huh? Hmmmmmmmmmmm;-)
Details...details...and all of Cupid’s blessings n my good wishes for the same...
Stay smiling:-)

P.S. I have a slight hunch about who she is*judging by that cute pic on your recent blog post* but I’d like you to spill the beans;-)

suruchi said...

Hi Mads...
Waah waah...
Finally we come to another great angle...
Everyone’s talking of caution n common sense...
Not realizing that sometimes even the wisest of people can fall prey!

Luck is so damn necessary...
You may choose your friends but you may not be able to choose how they behave with you!
I wish all of us all the luck:-)

suruchi said...

Hey Ria...
I guess we all need reminders from time to time...
I am so glad that you never met undesirable elements and hope that it remains the same:-)

Same here about the net friends in fact...they totally rock!:-)

Pavitra .... said...

I'm really scared of making friends on the Internet coz I know there are pathetic losers out there to take advantage of you...
Now isn't blogging a better option..?? You make friends....share thoughts....! Its a whole new world here....a magical one at that! And no muscles sprained in the process! What say..??

suruchi said...

Hi Pavitra...
There's nothing to feel scared...
Virtual life is no different from real life...in both you would meet all kinds of people...
In both you need to exercise caution...

Till you would not extend a hand in the water...you would not know how cold it is!

Blogging is definitely great but so are also networking sites like Facebook...
Making friends is the first key...making right friends is the second key...

And in doing so we just have to avoid the dead locks:-)

sobhit said...

phewww.... i sense some heavy vibes there.... itna bada elaborated commnt explaining things in details... RELAX woman .. seems u got offnded n all.. CHILL.. it ws supposd 2b meant in gud humour n guess u do hv dat.. mayb wud have had crossd d line smwhr.. i often tend 2do dat :P... but koi ni GOT UR POINT MADAM... only dis reply f urs mite jst mk me think 2wc b4 posting my instant commnt.. kya yar fir toh maza ni ayega likhne mein :-/.. chalo koi ni.. as 4me bein a thorough gentlman(haha :P) or mischevious fun guy.. wel u can keep guessing dat till d nxt janam or so :P...

PS cheap thrill?? i nvr find dat.. mayb it finds me 1 by or d odr :P :P

PPS but dis cmmnt sure seemd heavy n full of 2d point facts... kinda scary.. evn d lollllzzzz at d end didnt help.. dont u u cud gt dis offnded.. chalo no more raw commnts.. mayb will hv2 refine dem n filter dem :(... tho dat aint me.. lets c

suruchi said...

Oye Sobhit...chill yaar!
I was not offended at all...just clearing the air!
Now that u mentioned...I realized ke reply kuch zyaada he bada ho gaya up there....but all izzzzzz well:)

I just got carried away...:/
Nothing else!
Keep commenting in your own style!
Wouldn't want it otherwise:-)
Cheers:-)

♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ ayu ♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ said...

OMG! that's so horrible! well i can relate somehow since one time i had a closefriend here on the net..but that doesnt end there..just a couple of stupid chats..hehe..



(ps. check out my latest post if you have time,,.thanks :3)

suruchi said...

Yup Ayu...
Horrible things can happen when we let go of our guard and our luck decides to play dumb games with us!

Here's hoping this reminds us all to be extra cautious:-)
Thanks for reading:-)

Tanvi said...

I really appreciate the time and energy you put in replying in each comment. It's commendable. I do not think anyone else does it. Neither can I ... Sorry I am diverting away from the topic of discussion, a little here ... but I just had to say it!

And about internet and security. I think I just use my brain and instincts. Keep basic details like address/phone #/ email away and share ambiguous information. As a person as well I think I connect with people more on their feelings and experiences than gory details. So anyone asking too many questions is a BIG no in REAL and VIRTUAL life :)

suruchi said...

Hi Tanvi...
Thanks for noticing that..
I like the idea of doing so...plus there aren't so many comments anyways flooding my space here to prevent me from doing so...

People take out time to read our posts*especially my long posts* that is my way of showing my appreciation for that...:-)

What you mentioned is again absolutely necessary...basic info is the key and abstaining from divulging too much can land us in trouble...

Anyone asking too many questions...hmm...I guess I need to work on that myself...I moonlight as an inquiry counter:-(
Sometimes my questions never really end;-)

Thanks for stopping by:-)

WarmSunshine said...

Thank you for sharing this. Though it's a common practice, but all this still doens't fail to shock us. I'm glad no more harm was done to you and your friends. The words "easy access to our lives" hit me hard. I was like... "damn! it's so true!!"

I feel sorry for the girls. They are equally responsible for what happened to them. Sad though.

suruchi said...

Hi WS...
I know...our heart goes out to them n in the same breath we feel like reproaching them...
That's the sad situation they landed themselves in...

Awareness of such instances taking place is the key to perhaps our own safety n ensuring less of such eyesores happen that may dampen the spirit of internet friendships coz there can actually be great ones forged through this medium:-)

Thanks for voicing your opinion:-)

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