Amazing people who make me go on n on n on:)

19 June, 2010

If Only....

(It is said that the best love stories are those that remain incomplete...are they?)

He breathed harder on to her neck...
She noticed how her goose bumps surfaced by his mere touch...and now when he clutched her wrists with the force of his strong palms, pressing her against the wall...not just her hands but her entire body was in a grip!
His grip! She crumpled within like a wrinkled piece of fragile paper!
She felt his strength...the strength of a never before!

He pressed closer to her petite frame almost enveloping her every inch with his own and she felt her own breathlessness due to the proximity again!
Again! After such a while! though it had never been gone!
Although not gentle as before...neither wild as she was used to...
This was unusually different...almost though he was possessed!
She thought she knew all shades to him...but revelations yet never ceased to emerge at every twist and turn of this roller-coaster ride of love!
Love...was it really?

She stood there, not daring to move...nor willing either!
They hardly had a choice...crushed under the miniscule dark space under the staircase, they could not move without risking the chance of baring their clandestine union.

He had pushed her there...from where he knew she could not escape!
Where he knew he’d get his chance to say all he wanted to and do what he willed! So much like him...always doing just as HE willed!
And so much like her...always letting him!

He looked into her nervous eyes fluttering from right to left, fearing the voices that were calling her name, would come too soon to check in there too! Everyone of her family was within the vicinity and yet she was here, where if discovered the brunt of shame would be irredeemable!
But she was wondering...did she really care?

He let go of her hands but in the next instant he cupped her if he knew it was safe to release her and she would not fight any longer!
He read her thoughts even before they were formed in her subconscious!
So physically n soulfully he held her like that as seconds passed by, where there was just a breath in the exterior but a storm within.

What else would you call it, for she was going to walk the aisle just a few hours later and the man in front of her now...was not the one who would be waiting to hold her hand at the end of that aisle!
Damn you for doing this now....she cursed him within even as she bit the edge of her lips in a bout of half exasperation n half despair!
She was a fiery woman of business before the world...but with him, she became his little kitten, wagging for attention and purring with shameless delight when given!

She had told him umpteenth times that she was not going to wait for him forever...almost five years of togetherness was enough...or perhaps not!
She had told him that her parents were looking for a suitable boy and if he did not present himself as one...does not mean that they would not end up finding another! He had laughed it off.
She had stopped all communication with him a month back, clearly indicating that it was over when the NRI boy had walked past the maze and floored her parents off their feet! Before she could say a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ a quick wedding date was proposed and she flowed along in others’ jollity of her future in the U.S.A.! She flowed along in the mockery of the trifles and sham in her own eyes! The whole town knew she had gotten engaged and so did he!

And no contact since then!
Not a moan...not a whimper...not an attempt to get back till today!
Why not then? Why now? What now?
Today when she is getting married...and today like a thief...coming to her without the slightest hunch to anyone in the house!
He did have a knack of entering the space not meant for him and make himself so at home, as though it never knew how it was to be without him!

She tried opening her mouth to protest...blood rushing to her face expressing her distress more strongly than words could ever!
He closed it with his own mouth...hungry, probing wanting to penetrate deep as though to leave his imprint forever to warn trespassers!

She pressed her lips together to resist but with every soft pressure of his unrelenting mouth...she gave up on all strength or will to stop him!
She opened her mouth and let him dig deep, for sensing again the familiarity of such passionate kisses, always left her wobbly in the knees!
It was not as though she was just physically succumbing...or just her eyes were automatically closing in to sink in to the feeling. She knew in another, her mind would completely shut too...
Shut off to the noises...the the idea of what is right or wrong!
And it did!

She was conscious of her name being called out in the backdrop somewhere...but it seemed so distant like the rumbling of engines in a far away field...when all she was surrounded by was unadulterated peace.
Such pure physical pleasure, which when grips is a high like no other!
The gratification of sensory indulgence...a drug in inexplicable to those who have never experienced it and ravenous for those who’ve tasted it the cool shower tumbling over a scorched patch of earth!

His mouth closed in and opened worlds together within her and she knew no matter how passionate the kisses may be with anyone else who ever ventured that way...she would never be able to let go of the mind numbing effect he had on her. She would never be able to get that slight shiver of her lips coming in contact with his delicious mouth...that rhythmic movement of their tongues...the satiating feeling of his saliva in her mouth and how his hands moved along with the perfect synchrony!

He kissed like no one she had known and she had known some!
He filled her with him, with every stroke he made...his teasing lips provoking her to fight and then gradually give in...leaving him with a sense of a thrashing power!
And he was drunk in that power over her!
Her soft moans despite herself were clear indications of it!
With him even simple kisses were akin to making much was the involvement of every pore, that he would bring alive!
So hot his persistence made her that she began to sweat and her insides suffocated, made her heave with all she had!

And then in the next instant...just like that...
He let go!
His hands unconfined her bewildered face and his wild mouth rudely wrenched away from her greedy lips!
And he looked at her!

Just looked for a few seconds more with the corners of his lips breaking into a smile that she could not fathom!
Was he mocking her?
Was this his way of a good bye?

And just as he had come...he drifted to go!
She held him by the sleeve...her red eyes burning with rage and looking questioningly and piercingly at him!
Yet no word did come out!
God knows she tried to reason...but it seemed that her words were choked into her throat due to that passionate communion!

He was the devil...he knew this would happen!
He was not here to love....he was here to hate!
And with that realization something cringed within her, as she gave up on her grasp off his silk shirt!

And just like that he slinked away, becoming a face in the crowd of merry jostlers, returning back to being the ethereal!

She stood still watching the thin air where stood his frame not a while ago!
Stood like a statue till someone discovered her...and carried away to wear the garbs of her new life...the life that had ended even before it began!


Mr. "Niraj" Lemon said...

u know....some love stories begin so that they can just come to an end...Reason may be anybody he or she or may be circumstances...but they are just meant to end...May be i am not in majority of people who think otherwise but i am in those minority...who are forced to think..what say??

Tanvi said...

oh! what a rascal. I wld hunt him down and shoot him! haha ... Very passionate narration, Suruchi. Vivid, expressive and heart wrenching :) LOVED it.

While I am a sucker for love stories ... I am not the one to over analyze what-why-how! Shiz happens and you move on ... What's meant to be is meant to be ... the pain of an incomplete love stories makes excellent content for poems and novels.

But at the end of it ... my only response is - Khush raho naa yaar ... Devdas didn't have any fun, neither did Mira Bai! Krishan-Kahiya on the other hand .... had A LOT of fun! ... So that's my take on incomplete love stories! Heartless, you think?

Vagabond said...

there are people who have the strength to crush you, your ego and walk away. you let them. no one can dominate you unless you submit.

and yes you know he is the devil yet you stay.

there are some kisses that never see the day of light, there are some kisses that are thought over over and over, and are felt just like that. and they are the ones that top the list.

do you know there are finger tips that touch in the pouring rain and that remains etched as the most intimate you have been with anyone, above being felt over.

there are the devils. but don't we always fall for them?

you just described my biggest nightmare and my biggest desire.
i don't have 5 years i have 5 months to fall back upon.
i don't have conversations about me going with anyone else, i have silence that transpired.


Pavitra .... said...

Hey...This was seriously very good...
Kinda turned on by all the details ;)
You're right...incomplete love affairs can be a real bitch most of the times :D
Loved the intricate in all aspects...and a powerful punch of awesome in the end!
Loved it!!

Anand M said...

So here comes again the typical Suruchi.

Gosh how do you make things sound so very captivating and gravitating.

Though I do not know who is to blamed for it, Boy looks like the bad guy or may be the emotions are so complex to understand. But my experience says, every relationship comes with an expiry date, no matter what.

Sakshi said...


WarmSunshine said...

the ending had me a bit sad....

excellent write up suruchi.

plz take out time to see this link:

tc :)

Vinita Kohli said...

SENSOUS Narration!

What a pity that such passionate lovers would not unite...

'If Only' he would be the one waiting at the other end of the aisle.....

'If Only' she would have waited a little longer....

'If Only' he had taken her ultimatum more seriously.....

'If Only' she doesn't HATE him for his LOVE....

'If Only' all love stories would climax as 'and they lived happily ever after......'

rainboy said...

Devil rule don't they ;)
lovely post...the imagery was perfect :D

continue this...

take care n hugs :D

Weirdo guy said...

is it weird that i actually laughed at vicious behaviour ??

*sigh* i need to get my head examined.

P.S is there some inspiration behind this story ?? *grin* :P

Ria said...

Dint expect it to end this way... :(

♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ ayu ♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ said...

gosh..what a powerful and intense narration! you can be a novelist!! ^^ love the scene..teheehhe ^^

suruchi said...

Hi Niraj...or rather Mr. Niraj Lemon:-)
Yup...some love stories are meant for doom from the very onset...
A spark...a common factor...a little attraction for the opposite syndrome...such matters or more ignite the flame...but due to diverging interests they do not stand the test of time!

When a person is at is of course a blame game...
But when not...when it is is really sad for eventually one of the two concerned is hurt and often damaged beyond repair!

Yet I maintain that every experience-good or bad, teaches you something and leaves you with something...that you must take to your learn or to remember fondly or to ignite the fire of rage each time!

suruchi said...

Hey Tani,
Thanks for liking my fiction just as much as the others...
I always want to write more stories webbed out of imagination but fear treading on this path...that I may not be able to create a mind picture of the scene at hand!
So fiction is very excruciating...takes a lot out of you!

Anyways...guys like these do exist!
Love stories of ages, with passion and emotions like no other....can often come to such heart wrenching turn!

Oooooooo...I loved your last paragraph...
My belief completely...khush raho is the foremost!
Bygones be bygones and future be filled with more fun!
Devdas and Mira Bai Vs Krishan Kanhaiya example...claaaaaaaaaaaaaaasic!

suruchi said...

Hi VB...
The sad fact of life is...we as women tend to fall for the wrong guys mostly!
A good, loyal, virtuous, homely kinda boy is great for keeps but gets a little boring or rather to say it blatantly not so much for the sack, right? Unless he is super dexterous or skilled!

Whereas the bad guy has an aura that magnetically pulls you...he’d flirt before you and you’d find that charming*at least till some point*
He’d be demanding and not giving...
He’d laugh at you on your face and you’d like that!
He’d take you for granted and yet you’d go running at his first call!
Such is his power...the mad adrenaline rush of being with someone totally unpredictable!
So you are always on the edge...
90% of the times you remain unsure of his inclination towards you and he ascertains to make the remaining 10% so good that the rest of the ratio fades!

Hence the “devil” worship in female gender!

And when you spoke about the intimacy of finger tips lingering over was super sensuous!

I hope this remains a happy desire n never takes shape of a nightmare...and may the silence give way to vocal joys!

suruchi said...

Heyya Pavitra,
You know what...when I was writing this I was kinda turned on myself...half picturing me in the situation...sigh!
So I had to message my dearly beloved to return home faster for there is a sort of emergency...lolzzzz
Such is the way the mind works...
Give it an inch and it would take over the rule!:-)

Thank you soooooooo much for the praise!
Then end I thought would leave the reader a little though you were consumed by the act and then suddenly made to let go!
Wanted to create that impact...I am glad if you felt that punch!

suruchi said...


Hi Anand...
But THAT is not typically me yaar!
I thought typically me was the mad hatter!
And I consciously make sure that I do not have two similar kind of posts one after another...
Like follow a “just for laughs” by a “mush” or “provoking thoughts” or “experience narration”

Aye hai...n I thought I was doing a fair job of that!
Serving all possible dishes on my platter!

And well...if you are referring to me going down the sensual line again for fiction...I guess that’s true!
I feel physicalities have a deeper effect on our lives than some of the highest achievements and the most horrible of disasters!

And while I was penning this down...I already had it at the back of my mind that my next fiction post would be a downright comedy or completely dark tragedy...let’s see!

Every relation does not come with an expiry date...but yes the settling down and the mellowing does occur!
It then stands the true test...whether it is for keeps or not!
Surprisingly some manage to stay on!
Thanks for being captivated...makes me feel good about my skills:-)

suruchi said...

Hey Sakshi...
Yes OMG would be the right exclamation here!

suruchi said...

Hello WS...
Thanks dear!
I know...all love stories do not have a happy ending, you know!
And those that remain incomplete sometimes take up a big space in our heart!
So just another shade of love!:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Vinita Mamiji...
Would an amazing interpretation of my title!
When I had completed the post...I was wondering what to name this!
It did depict a huge lot of complications!

And then like the end takes up an uncertain note of what would she do with her future now...I decided to do the same with the title:-)

“And they lived happily ever after” is perhaps the most ironical of lines...for they never really happen in real!:-)

suruchi said...

Hey Rainboy,
Devils are the ultimate gods that we women bow down to!
Sad but true...
Glad you enjoyed the post...

Continuing this...I really don’t know...
What if I get branded as the horny writer or something...
Baaaaah...who cares...a 100 other tags already..let there be one more!;-)

So yup...hopefully soon!:-)

suruchi said...

You laughed at my sensuous narration?????????
Boo hoo:-(
*Background song-jab dil he toot gaya aaaaa...hum jee ke kya karenge...;-)*

Itneeeeeeeee mehnat se imagination ke horses ko run kara kara ke likha n u laughed...* going into my ‘hey bhagwaaaaan...yeh sunne se pehle...’ mode*

Yes there is an inspiration...but shhhhhhhh...aise baatein bataaye nahi jaate;-)
The inspiration is man-kind:-) least some in that kind:-)

suruchi said...

My dear baby...all stories do not end in a “and they lived happily ever after” na!

Such is life...we get the unexpected and remain craving for what we thought should have at least or naturally come our way!

suruchi said...

Hey Ayu...
Thank you dear...
Now about being the novelist..I don't know really...
But how about beginning with being a 'novel' blogger?;-)

rainboy said...


will be waiting :)

blunt edges said...

"the life that had ended even before it began!"

awesome closing line!

n i like his idea of revenge...makes me think ;)

Madhu said...

U write fiction too?? WHOA! I thought,both of us have enough to rant about life...enough to cover a hundred posts here..:)

I liked it sis..:)

Cinderella said...


there are so many kisses that never see the dawn of reality...yet always swim in your heads, through out dusks and long nights and the rains and the winters...even on a hot sunny day.

And then there are kisses that keep you awake nights, but thats all that you have of the person to hold on to...which is why you hold it with fierce posession.

Such is life.

Am In Trance said...

Frankly, I have never read someone describing a Kiss with this much Gusto..!
This is amazing.. n' I love this..

No.. Love stories can never end.. coz' they are made that way.. Never to End..

n' yeah I see agonies.. From the Guy too.. Would like to write up the Boy side Story, with your permission..

Told Ya'...Your'e The Best...

suruchi said...

Hey Blunts...
Now that you mention...I too feel the closing line was goooooooooood*raises collars and gives a self pat on the back...I am bloody good, or what!*

And please don’t like his idea of sucks*not mouthfully of course*
And why would you think he would want revenge?
Interesting twist to my characterization...
Thank you:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Cin,
‘Kisses swimming in the head’ is such a picturesque description that only you my lovely friend could have come up with!

Kisses are so pivotal in a relation, right?
The kisses that satiate and the kisses that leave you with more hunger...somehow in this case the opposites merge to create the perfect desire!

Yup such is life...sigh!:-)

suruchi said...

Hey AIT...
You were greatly missed and with a mush post, I was hoping to catch you here!
A kiss has to be described with gusto...that’s the whole idea...
It’s no kiss if it’s not done with all you have in you to give!

Kisses are the ultimate expression of passion!
The perfect interlocking...the reason why being in love makes so much more sense!

Hehe...I am a completely kiss-girl!
So a good kiss is the be all and end all!:-)

And you think love stories never’s a beautiful new perspective...
They do continue to live in our subconscious, right?
We do create mind pictures and frames of being together again...whether they transpire in reality or not!
So bloody true Bishu...that I love the hypothesis!

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease write the boy’s side story!
I left his emotions open to interpretation deliberately!
The fact that he came...the fact that he was around for five years...the fact that he wanted this to happen badly...the fact that he used no words...
I thought they spoke volumes about glad you thought of reaching here...

Please write n I would like to publish it as by a guest blogger here on my page...or whatever else you’d agree to for it!

Thanks and yes that closing line of your comment makes the closure so much looked forward to as always!:-)

Am In Trance said...

I'll.. I'll write it for sure.. Mere haath mein khujli suru ho gayee hai.. LOL !!
Will mail it by tomorrow.. Ok..

Yes, Kisses are Amazing.. as if breathing life to our beloved... As if... Ah...
**Itna Romantic hogaya toh office ka kaam nehi kar paoonga.. Hehe..**

No re, there was no need for a mush post to catch me.. I am n' will be always here, coz' I love to be here.. Simple..
Was outta' station for 2 weeks, thats why no response..
Glad I was missed though...

n' the closing line.. Well... You are what You are.. Hai na.. :)

Bikramjit said...

true some love stories start without a end but Then the ones which dont end are sometimes the one which dont work out.. so also good to move on :)

I loved your story though.. it is beautiful describbed beautifully ...

Sovina said...

hey! stumbled upon your blog..just stepping in to say that you have great great space what you wrote & how you captured all the emotions..lovely..i will sure be back for more :)

buckingfastard said...

ooh steamy!!! u got me rising there!! i mean from the chair!! :P

oh cummon tell me for once and for girls like nice, chivalrous guy or dirty imposing guys!! my life depends on it..and pls dont switch!!!

now cuming to the crux!!

loved the 3 para description of kiss!! a women who can describe with such intimacy...i cant even begin envying Mr.Arora :P

loved the subtle metaphors...loved the strong character sketch of both of them...sweet ending!!!

Shanu said...

Whoa wat a post!

Loved it!

First time here...but will b back!

Harshita said...


No matter what, I 'so' love those guy.. Yeah! cane me for but I am the one who has a thing for bad guys...

Your narration does not make him a bad guy anyways.. ;) This story is a shocker... I mean, I come to your blog with a pre-conceived notion (apologies for that)... but I love this shocker... Awesome!

Write more of these no?

Amnn.......//1! said...

women ...!! women women women ..!!1
this is exactly what i don understand bout gals

Tamanna A. Shaikh said...

Write up the guy's part and then we shall decide. :)

The girl did not wait long enough. The guy did not play hard enough.

Very sensuous. Very well-written. I could picture it happen!

Only if we had the ability to fall in love only once but alas! It happens again...and again ...and again...

sulagna ™ said...

oki i know the last line deserves a serious look to this post but kya karu cant stop smiling about all the tongue hockey she played!!!heheheh

Shady said...

Btw the guy looks like me , now all i have to do is find a gal

Shady said...

Hmmmmmmmmmm Interesting :)

Thousif Raza said...

you know with just one aspect of storytelling you have captured so much of it..... start till the end.... love the last part.... makes me think in whole new directions.... its a really good story.... as i like to say "all the emotions in the right places" :)

take care and keep writing.....

suruchi said...

Hi AIT...
*it sounds like an ATM machine everytime I use ATI...but don’t know if I can use your name here, na?:/*
Waiting for the write up!

And itna romantic ho kar office mein kaam nahi bhi karna chahiye...
Hot secretaries bhi to hote hain risky venture;-) were missed...somehow jab tak aap bol na do “You are the best” thand nahi painde;-)

suruchi said...

Hey Bikramjit....
I are right when you say that some love stories reach a dead end!
That’s equally tragic for the emotions that once gave you a high, now put you in the dumps...
I guess usse to acha hain...the lovers get separated and have happy memories to cherish forever...
Often we know heart of heart, what would survive time and what would not!
Then we must take the plunge to put a halt when things are reasonably good rather than wait for autumn to strike!

Phew! Tough to choose what would be better and what not!
Thanks for the praise and a new angle to the thoughts!

suruchi said...

Hiyya Sovina...
That’s beautiful name and thank you for stopping by!
I am so humbled by your praise!
And do stop in more while I check out your wedding on the cards:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Bucking,
Wow...I salute to your rising...from the chair that is!
And salute with my hands that is again;-)

Okay...girls like a blend of dirty imposing guys along with the nice chivalrous kinds...not ME...YOU guys need to keep switching between both these personalities...too much of one facet for too long makes us kinda bored or per the persona on!

What the heck!
What I mean’s exciting to be involved with something unpredictable and playful and at the end of it all it is desired that you be chivalrous enough to be nice and settled down with us!
Phew! It is THAT simple n you dodos don’t get it!;-)

For more information please contact again:
My Tumbling Thoughts to the World!

And now coming to the crux...
I think this is the first time I get praise as in open, blatant, not hidden in sarcasm or not wrapped in humour praise from you*eyes rolling in wonder and a minor heart attack expected....3,2,1...okay evaded;-)*

I somehow get stuck on kisses!
Can never seem to get enough or more out of a simple lip lock!

And seeing the number of times you mention “loved” in the comment...may I please add “I AM LOVING IT”...
I guess your narrative skills are rubbing off finally...
It pays to be in good company people:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Shanu...
I extend a warm welcome to you...
I am so glad you stopped by and would be even more so If you keep doing this! I promise not to disappoint you*shifty under the bojh of expectations now;-)*

Thanks for the praise:-)

Prithwish....... said...

Hey Suruchi,

Simply brrilliant...your writing has perfect detailing coupled with it, which makes it a worth reading :)
i really admire the way u express the real life emotions...awesome my dear..
keep rocking ..!!:)

suruchi said...

Hi Harshita,
We all are all out for bad guys yaar!
That’s a genetic defect I think that we were born with:/
I mean at one point there would be a simple sweet guy who would wait up for our calls...whimper when we don’ errands for us...pick up the tabs...even gets flowers and gifts...thinks we were made for each other...awwww...!

And at the other point would be a nerd who’d never bother to call when he says he would...laugh at our face when we get mushy...flirt right in front of us...mock at everything possible...and yet we are drawn to him like flies to open food! Ooooooh...!

What is wrong with us?????????:/

And I would love to know what pre-conceived notions you came with;-)
Please don’t apologise...I am more than glad there were some notions that got you here...just as I enjoyed reading your space:-)

Would try to write more of these...pucca:-)

suruchi said...

Hey Amnn...
Ab kya hua?
I thought it is the boy’s part that is baffling...
The poor girl didn’t have much to do really...except open up her pout to him;-)

Now tell me what you don’t understand and we’d throw some light there:-)

suruchi said...

Hi Tamanna
Hey we are cribbing that love like that happens once and whisks off and here you are saying that it happens again n again with u...
Kya baat hai!
Lucky babe:-)

Thank you for the praise...I could visualize it all happening before my eyes while I was writing this
*like I pictured the heavy red satin hangings in the backdrop...some sound of dholak..her mehndi wrapped hands...a strand playing flirtishly off her face and her neck of the kurta going slightly baring her shoulders for he held her so firmly n almost cruelly...aaah...I can go on!*

So glad it turned out just as much a visual treat for the readers too;-)

suruchi said...

Hey Su
Wow...tongue hockey...that’s a great expression to describe all that she was up to....but so much fun na!
Chalo, that would be one sport I would excel at for a change...for I am a sucker for kisses*metaphorically n otherwise;-)*

suruchi said...

Once a Shady...always a Shady;-)
The guy looks like you....but meine to guy ka appearance he nahi bataya;-)
Sounds like you for sure....
As for looking for the girl...
Hmm...may be she’s just around somewhere...look harder;-)

Thanks for dropping by!

suruchi said...

Hey Thousif Raza,
Wow...firstly, welcome to my space*open arms, rolling of drums welcome*
And thanks for that brilliant line of appreciation
“all the emotions in the right places”
That’s sooooooooo flattering*yiyee yiyee yiyee*

I don’t know how I thought of the twist in the end!
Must be some good fairy watching over me at that time...
Good fairy...please stay forever:-)

suruchi said...

Hey Prithwish...
Thank you for that lavish dollop of praise...
You are always super good with me...
Hope the US sojourn be super good with you too:-)

Always a pleasure having you stay close by:-)

Tamanna A. Shaikh said...

Haha really, it does happen again, honey, it does. Humans need satisfaction and that can be derived from love so sooner or later, their own body and soul will make them love again. Of course, there has to be someone available for that though! :P

I used to think too that love is a one time phenomenon or at least one person phenomenon but that actually is not true at all! :)

Americanising Desi said...

Oh My God!

Suruchi you have blown me away! every word, is an emotion and every emotion scrunched my heart!

Absolutely hard hitting and I shall too closely follow you now :)

Jack said...


You have way with words to make one glued till end. And what a way to begin new life with soul having been taken away.

Take care

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