24 April, 2010
Okay here I am...it is 2050 A.D....I am seventy two years old*hopefully young* and life...well, this is how one morning in my life then would be!
Me: Suno G, it is 8 a.m.! High time you got up!
G*moaning in short trebles*: What! You expect me to get UP at this age? And still with YOU? Old age is causing you to hallucinate my dear!
Me: Ya, ya for sure...as if you’d be able to get up on anything now even if we provided you with supporters! You should thank your lucky stars that I am still healthy enough to take all your weight and also WAIT for you to COME around!
G: Whoa...and what about me! No points for my sufferance when you decide to get on top of me and I almost hear your knees crack every time you even try to shake!
Me: At least you get to know that I am in some action! When I look at your face, I still have to decide if you are actually pouting for a kiss or plain simple trembling with over excitement about managing to get one!
G: Baby, to actually “look” you need to wear your spectacles na...otherwise you’d go again hugging the milk man and later pretend that you didn’t realize it wasn’t me!
Me: That’s enough! I think today I would put some of your sleeping pills in your breakfast so that I can rest and have less of this nonsense to hear!
G: The kind of breakfast you make now, even after five decades of doing so, is enough to put a person to rest in peace forever...it’s me who is a superman to have survived so far!
Me: Oh why did you get up, you obnoxious man...cooking up weird stories like a mentally disabled!
G: Don’t talk to me about stories you old hag! You know when we were just married...I had to tell you a story, to get you to bed...then after a few years, you began to tell me a story to take me to bed...
After 20 years, I began to tell a story to avoid taking you to bed and then some years later, I began to stay in bed to avoid your stories!
And you know what the situation now is?
Me: Go on blabber like a buffoon and blast me with another stupid theory!
G: Now if I take you to bed, that’s the end of a story...my story!
Me: Now look who’s talking...so much sex-sobbing from a man who got an average of 5 times a week for all his prolonged youth days!
G: Whoa...exaggeration queen...more like 5 times a month and that too after I had to put up with your ‘oh, I have a headache’ ‘oh I am so tired tonight’ ‘oh it’s too late/too early’...and eventually ‘oh I am obliging you now and don’t come near me for another week’!
Me: We should have shown you to a doctor for it is abnormal to demand so much sex!
G: We should have shown YOU to a doctor, for it is abnormal to demand so much abstinence!
Me: Oooo hellooooo...did it occur to you, that maybe you didn’t turn me on?
G: Ya baby, but did it occur to you that maybe we could plug an entire power-house into you and yet not be able to turn you on!
Me: You are so hot...not as in OMG hawwwt but OMG-so-hot-headed, all the bloody time that sometimes I feel, you only triggered the bloody global warming!
G: You are so frigid half the bloody time that sometimes I feel we survived the global warming ‘end of the world’ predictions because of you!
Me: Hmphf...Why is it always about sex with you?
G: Why is it always about no-sex with you?
Me: Look at that...your pyjamas are falling off...even they refuse to stick by your side!
G: Maybe they are hinting to you asking when you would fall off for good too.
Me: Ah...you wish! When I’ll be gone, you’d miss me to madness!
G: Yup I will...only in madness would I miss you. Who wants to be sane anyways!
Me: Who will then wipe off your face after the curry drips down your lips and your hands shake too much to hit the spot?
G: Don’t you worry...I would get some hot babe to lick it off!
Me: Na, na...don’t you even try to try that. At your age, over excitement could lead to a heart attack!
G: Better to die of overuse than underuse!
Me: Very funny! Remember to plug in your hearing aid while she’s doing it so that you can hear her calling you a ‘tharki buddha’...
G: I’ll do so...and would you please tell your wadding spirit, visiting us not to wear your dentures after that for a year...I would like to bask in peace finally!
Me: Lift your feet and walk would you? It’s just 10 steps to the bathroom and you’ve already taken 15 minutes to reach there!
G: I like it slow and steady! Not like you wanting to hurry up with just about everything! Like taking a bath in 5 minutes and emerging out making me wonder if you used any water at all!
Me: Acha, then why do you wriggle around my neck trying to sniff the fresh as a daisy smell I exuberate?
G: Baby that is to check if you stink still, ensuring that you did really bathe!
Me: Ha ha...you think you are still funny, you old man? And please once inside don’t go all confused again about which is the bucket and which is the toilet seat?
G: I won’t as long as you promise to stay not confused about which is the salt and which is the sugar, now that you are going to get my tea!
Me*knocking the bathroom door*: It’s been an hour inside...I hope the fast flow of the shower water has not bogged you down on the floor!
G: Nope...I have survived the flow of blows of your long tongue*though they weren’t the kinds that I wanted*...I am now game even for a Tsunami!
You know sometimes I think you want me to die just so you could flirt with that forty year old widower next door!
Me: Oh...you “think” too...must be an old age development...didn’t spot you doing that when you were young. Anyways, why should I want you to die for that? I could get him minus your sympathy votes! And how you have the nerve to tell me this after you bought a 1000 rupees worth of raffle tickets from that Kimi in short skirts and kept saying even long after she had gone “let me know if I can do anything else dear!” Bah!
G*emerging out*: That girl is very sweet...she says she would prefer a man with the integrity like mine as her life partner!
Me: She says that to all old dodos who oblige by opening up their pockets since they don’t get to open their zips!
G: You horrible woman! How dirty is your mind! And what’s with this dress that you are wearing? You know, you are little too old for red now. And OMG you’ve even painted your nails red! Ewwww...you should warn me before scaring me like that!
Me: But I thought you always liked red on me...always! Okay, I’ll go and change. *now spirits sunk completely and finally!*
G*breaking into a smile and extending into a big hug*: Awwwww...I still do! And I also thought you still like a chocolate cake with loads of red cherries on top*reveals a cake platter hidden underneath the bed*I got up at 7.30...half an hour before you, just to get it under the bed!
Happy Fiftieth Anniversary my love!
You are still my precious little baby and always would be!
Me*all teary eyed*: Look what you did to my eyes...now I can’t see even with my spectacles on! And what’s with these new blue jeans and white shirt that you are wearing! If I said you looked drop dead gorgeous in this when you were 25, do you think you’d still do even at 75?
Well...you know what...you still do...and that next door widower neighbour would burn in envy to see you holding my arm!
G: What say...we go for a walk or hit the bed again!
Me: What? Again? But we just did it last night!
G: We did? Baby I think you are now getting the Alzhiemer too...
Let me take you to bed and rectify some misconceptions for you!
Me: You still tell me stories babu to take me to bed! And I still hear and believe them like a three years old child! Let’s do it before the friends and family pour in!
And what are you doing here still dear readers...?
You still want details...
How about the sound of a shaky bed...rattly rat...two flowers hitting each other...prut prut...and the light of the lamp getting dimmer n dimmer till darkness envelops it all!
Well we aren’t 30 anymore...so this should take sometime...hop around some other blogs for a while and check us out later again for how steamy it got!