Helloooos, I was interviewed earlier this month by the awesome Maithili from the blog space of Darlings of Venus (DOV). For all those who missed ‘Getting Candid with Suruchi’ there despite my posting links everywhere, here’s what had conspired:
Maithili: Hello, and welcome to the interview. I was actually going through some of your posts all day to get some good questions.
Suruchi: Oh my god-poor you. And I was wondering what I would come up with about the usual questions-like why I started blogging and all...phew!
Maithili: Well then there’s been good amount of planning on both sides-this should be fun. Let’s see who takes whom by surprise. And oh don't worry you have to be just YOU to make this great! Suruchi means good taste right?
Suruchi: Yes...a good taste, a good interest-basically anything "good" gets copyrighted here.
Maithili: Ok so let’s hear something about your tastes then!
Suruchi: You mean apart from the chocolate bar that just got tasted and mmmmm-ed? I like music, movies, used to like reading books, teaching and a whole lot of blogging!
Maithili: We know of your love for blogging so we will move on to the teaching. Are you like that Miss Chandni from ‘Mein hoon na’ kind of a teacher?
Suruchi: Haha...how I wish-if not her IQ her statistics would do! But naah, no saree ka palloo lehraaoing here and no Shahrukh Khan types students either. Though I manage to get one or two doting ones every year!
Maithili: Boys will be boys and every boy has a crush on one of his teacher in his school time. Any experience of the same?
Suruchi: There have been some cute students who have studied with me in senior classes and grown really fond-like one has become a pilot and still keeps in touch, another is working in the US and manages to find time for me whenever he comes visiting home. Baaki sab compliments try karte hain-just so that the teaching time gets reduced as ma'am would get all flushed and smug.
Maithili: Any pranks that you remember in particular?
Suruchi: Okay, there have been some funny ones. Like when I was teaching in a school many, many years ago, there was an essay to be written on “Nehru and his Public life” and there was this prankster of a boy who deliberately omitted the alphabet “L” in public on the entire page just to see me cringe. I made him read the essay in front of the whole class and watch him self-correct his speech, though a bit sheepishly. Then there was this little girl with whom I was doing genders-I asked her the Feminine of ram (male sheep) and she answered very confidently-Sita. Such recurring experiences light up an otherwise boring teaching day sometimes.
Maithili: Ohhh so smart students I would say! What's the most memorable line used by a student to hit on you?
Suruchi: Tch, koi memorable line nahi yaar-very non-innovative types I must say-fortunately or unfortunately they don't go beyond the "Ma'am you are looking very nice today" or "Ma'am, new haircut...nyyyyyceeee"
Maithili: For getting hooked their cool ma'am helps them right? I did read somewhere that you give them ideas *looks smug*
Suruchi: Yes, ma'am-guilty for doing that a couple of times with completely love-lost soul-as in they were so droopy with hopeless unrequited love that they could give gravity a run for its money.
Suruchi: Baaki I am a very serious teacher by the way, just in case some student/student's mom stumbles upon DOV-it is hugely popular now, you know.
Maithili: Now who wouldn't want a teacher like that! No wonder you enjoy such popularity. Now turning on to your blog, more than 200 followers and in a way they have all become audience to your life now. Doesn't that make you apprehensive to post everything that comes to your mind?
Suruchi: Not at all because there is no other way that I know of writing than being blunt and personal. I don't know a flying fig about politics or social issues-all I can do is rip myself apart with the outrageous to gather some laughter or together strip the ridiculous that I see around. And god has been kind to keep me in insane situations for these 200 people to be entertained. In fact when everything's going in order and as per my plans and very methodical, I know I have missed something. Although trust me there is loads I wanna talk about that I can't for the very reason that there are many known people among the readers.
Suruchi: My family members read my blog occasionally (like when I pull them by the collar and make them sit before the screen with a bucketful of emotional blackmail) and my better half says that he is “content with half the world reading me as he has better things to do with me instead." So gets away with "Absent" marked on My Tumbling Thoughts. Besides, he knows I am mostly bantering and exaggerating and harmless like a jalebi.
Maithili: Well, you are indeed lucky to have G support you to write what you want!
Suruchi: Yes, it has developed into a mutually comfortable zone. Stupidity is not a crime, so I get away with it. He knows I love being me and I love him just being him.
Suruchi: Though sometimes I toy with the idea of an anonymous blog. You know where I can crib about my mother-in-law, do loads of blah-blah on sex and not watch eyebrows being raised and stuff and also flirt my guts out without bothering about my sindoor...sigh!
Maithili: That is every woman's dream my lady! Although you do have that option at DOV!
Suruchi: I know right, but then DOV went on to become hugely popular, so you never know. We'll let some secrets lie silent in my little heart. I decided both of us-my blog and me, can't look good at the same time, so I juggle between doing one thing good at a time.
Maithili: Speaking about looking good, why are we not getting any beauty tips from the Beauty Queen?
Suruchi: Because the Beauty Queen is losing her throne sitting so much on the net that her butt is growing too big for it! Koi beauty nahi hain yaar...it is just strategic clicking of pictures.
Maithili: Now you are being humble! Didn't you win a beauty contest once?
Suruchi: Oh my god-how did you get that random fact? This was in school farewell where I was crowned the Miss SMC and that was also probably due to the fact that I was the School Captain and hence popular. And sometimes not just love is blind-judges can be too.
Maithili: I told you I came prepared to interview you! Not too many people can be blind to your beauty darling!
Suruchi: Awwww...and full marks to Ms Perfectionist! Anyways, those who compliment us for our beauty-you know all that shoo-shaa on Fb n all...at some level, every woman knows how to demarcate between flattery for a purpose and genuine appreciation. There are very few genuine things and people around these days.
Maithili: Yes agreed on that part... You are one blogger who speaks her mind, shares her photos and adds bloggers to her Facebook account. What would you say about private life on public domain? Where does one draw a line?
Suruchi: See it is all very individualistic. I feel that if I am reading someone's thoughts over a period of time on his blog page or he on mine, there is no reason why he may not get admission into my space on Facebook. And I am always the one who believes in seeing good in people till they absolutely prove it otherwise. One may and should share about their lives on blogs/social networking sites, etc. Otherwise what else is the purpose of these-we don't want to hear inspirational quotes on statuses which we can any day hear on Astha Channel on the idiot box. Although one must be careful of whom they are allowing into their private sphere for sure, especially the young girls
Maithili: A very good perspective on this! This already looks like a good topic for discussion!
Suruchi: You know a lot of people have told me to be discreet on my blog, like there was an anonymous comment once and the person said-
“I know where you live, when you go for a walk, how many times you have sex and whom you have had crushes on...Don't you think your entire life is out there?” And I thought even if it was, so what? Just because I wrote a post on having sex 5 times a week, does not mean that I am inviting entries for it or the fact that where I go for a walk, would make readers want to travel all the way to Kanpur to kidnap me? Bull shit is expected but not accepted!
Maithili: Wow lady! A very bold take on this! You have not written for the discussion on blog this month. Any reason?
Suruchi: Naah, just not finding time Miaths-Seeya keeps me on the toes and the festivities keep me dressed like a cake, so leaves me with less of what I really want to do. But even regarding the virginity issue-I feel it is no longer such an awaited moment as it used to be before...youngsters have little hang ups about being physical and it is growing rather silly to expect to marry virgins. Although I always tell my young friends or anyone who asks me for this advice -even if you have been in relationships, there is no need to be Satyavadi Harish Chandra to your newly married husband and vomit it all. Many men still have an ego when it comes to knowing "their" girl has been physically intimate with someone before.
Maithili: But don't you think a relation should start with a plain slate? The partners should have prior info on each other?
Suruchi: It is alright when one is being friendly with someone and then gradually a relationship develops. But in arranged marriages, one should not take the risk. And while detailing everywhere else helps, not here, when it comes to describing about your colourful past! I mean there is no reason why the naya naya husband should have to sit through a meet-my-reality session on a couch.
Maithili: Turning on from the in depth discussion to the rapid fire round now
You would have to answer these very quick! 5 words which describe Suruchi-only FIVE words.
Suruchi: Lively, dependable, witty, loving and charming.
Maithili: What would do the first thing if you turned a man RIGHT now?
Suruchi: You mean what I would do to a turned on man or what I would do to turn a man on...my god, just a few words, change it all, doesn't it?
Maithili: Yes, if you turned into a man?
Suruchi: Oh, I would go and propose to a whole lot of women using as many pick up lines as possible without the fear of hearing "Tere ghar mein ma-behen nahi hain kya?” and being affected by it.
Maithili: Although I’m all ears now to hear the answer to the "turned on" man question too!
Suruchi: Haha...which part? It is easy to turn on men yaar-may be coz they are technically never turned off. They just go on a "silent" mode
Maithili: Hehe well said madame.
Maithili: If you were a type of food what would you be?
Suruchi: Chocolates, of course, they can be used in so many ways and so pleasurable-what else can be as gratifying?
Maithili: You would like to be used in those gratifying ways? Ahaan?
Suruchi: Nopes, I would like to be pleasurable, all said and done.
Maithili: If you were written about in the newspaper, on the front page, what would the headline say?
Suruchi: The headline would probably say-"A little known blogger shoots to stardom after world-wide internet sites come crashing down due to hits made on her bog"....very lame, I know, but the write up following it would be juicy as there would be mini world wars for me. Such complacent souls we are-zyaada kuch nahi maangte!
Maithili: Well I don't mind you shooting to fame but crashing www could be heart breaking for me.
Suruchi: Haha...it has to be dhamaakedar na!
Maithili: What's the most touching thing G has done for you?
Suruchi: Well, besides always wanting to be touchy, once in the early years of our marriage, I was in a really sad mood and almost cried on the phone, he came home from office, during the middle of the day and stayed with me for a couple of hours-that was a great gesture from someone who's a work-o-holic. He keeps doing little things every now and then which matter more than the big ones
Maithili: Awww that is really what matters right?
Suruchi: Yes, he isn't the kind to sing songs or write poetry or read my blogs to show that he cares...but he is the kinds to bring a chocolate without fail on every Karva Chauth, to take my side when I am cribbing about something until I simmer down, to respect my parents a whole lot, even more than me, ask me what bothers me even after I tell him a hundred times that it is nothing...and all this makes a huge difference at the end of the day.
Maithili: Indeed you are a lucky woman..
Suruchi: Thank you
Maithili: What turns you on instantly?
Suruchi: Gimme a witty conversationalist-any day! Wit and a good repartee-it starts and ends with it.
Maithili: Have you ever Adam teased?
Suruchi: Oh tons of times-in college we used to gang up at popular hang outs and tease some shy ones with loud comments made randomly. And then there were the times of prank calls.
Maithili: And what is the naughtiest thing you have done in such pranks?
Suruchi: I managed to get clicked with a very cute guy, first asking him to click a picture for us and then generally chit chatting and eventually he became like a group buddy-ah, good old school days!
Maithili: When you enter a room what is the general reaction you get?
Suruchi: Big smiles, a mischievous wink sometimes and a general pleasant welcome and where I don't get these-I just don't enter. Also often people expect me to walk in and they give me the expectant look that ah, here she comes-now make us laugh.
Maithili: So you are the bubbly types who set the party on fire?
Suruchi: Often yes, also because I am so full of double meaning statements
Maithili: Tell me who is the person who you first turn to, when you are upset?
Suruchi: The first person used to be my mom...now there are friends coz mom used to end up being more upset than me and I ended cheering her up than being cheered. I have been blessed to find some of my best friends through the blogosphere.
Maithili: That is great! And here come to the end of the rapid fire round.
Suruchi: Phew! Thank god...I don't like rapid things so much.
Maithili: You gave some swift and smart replies! So a pat on your back for this round!
Suruchi: Thank you, thank you...Don't I get a coffee hamper or something?
Maithili: Ah we wish we could give away those, but we are pretty much bankrupt here at DOV. Okay so moving on from rapid fire, we have last two questions. Every woman goes through a rough patch... Any experience you would like to share- in love, marriage, friends or motherhood?
Suruchi: Ah, well, I had a very rough time before my daughter Seeya came along-it was almost ten years of trying for a baby and not succeeding that took its toll on me and me too. But then things looked up! There were times when you lose faith in yourself, god and those around you...when all actions are doubted as though they are aimed at a set motive-it was the lowest point in my life...and then we found Seeya. She's been like a bright star though a very twinkling one-going on and off with mischief and trouble to awakening a very dormant motherly feeling in me.
Maithili: Well Seeya is most definitely the brightest spark in your life. Also I am proud of you for giving Seeya such a wonderful life.
Suruchi: You know it was not like the easiest or most natural decision for me. I was unlike most girls who grow up with dreams of a husband and house and children-I almost never saw me doing or with all that. I was too busy doing my own things and went along with the flow. A child has brought stability in me which I lacked. And she is magnetic when it comes to gathering attention and affection.
Maithili: I have seen that in the thousand expressions your princess gives for the camera!
Suruchi: Haha, she's gone on me-the chocolate and burger fetish, the insane love with the camera, the mockery of horror stories or anything conjured to scare her, wet kisses, nautanki and smiling to get away with stuff-I guess influences rub in.
Maithili: She is tailor made to be your daughter!
Suruchi: Or perhaps we were separated at god ji ke tailor ka mela to unite again on earth.I just hope she is not half as mad and as yearning to flirt as I am
Maithili: Ahh, now you are going to have a tough time with that.
Suruchi: I know-keeping away prying boys and the escalating curiosity of little girls-OH MY GOD!
Maithili: And finally we come to the question- Suruchi's life-any regrets or guilt?
Suruchi: Yes, the only regret is I should have studied more and done something with my life before succumbing to the marriage pressure. It is absolutely necessary that girls learn to stand on their feet and make their mark before shaadi, though I make up for it in my little ways.
And guilt-naaah! What we do wrong, we make amends and life goes on-nothing is forever and neither is no one.
Maithili: Thank you Suruchi for your wonderful interview for DOV.
Suruchi: You are most welcome Maiths, it was my pleasure. It was like talking so much about ME for a change-thank you for giving me my celebrity moment. Lemme circulate some muaaaahs also in the air, just for the perfect closure.
Maithili: Sure darling, you are a celebrity here today.
Suruchi: Thank you!